The Arrangement

by Hilary Hamblin

  “You must have spent a lot of time with Ben’s family,” Eli said.

  Evie’s face fell. She chewed slowly before answering again. “I did spend a lot of time with them at first. Ben and I baby-sat his younger brothers a lot so his parents could go out alone. But when he moved closer to school, we didn’t visit as often. I think he was the one who started suggesting we go out to eat or to the movies more and started mentioning his family less.”

  “You’ll miss them,” Eli observed.

  “Yeah, I guess I will. I hadn’t thought about the other people I’ll lose with Ben.” Evie grew quiet. “It would feel weird to call his parents to say good-bye, but at the same time it feels like I should say something to them.”

  “Don’t they already think you’ve broken up?” Eli waited for Evie to nod. “So why haven’t they already called you if they were missing the closure?”

  “Isn’t that a little harsh?”

  Eli softened. “Sorry.” He felt a little uneasy about their conversation. Evie was still hurting from her decision to break-up with Ben, and she hadn’t gone through the real break-up yet. How would she feel when she actually walked away from him?

  Eli remembered when Whitney walked away from him. He’d called in sick to work for two days and just moped around his apartment gathering up photos and mementos and trying to decide what to do with them.

  In that instant he knew what he had to do next. He didn’t want to speak the words out loud, but he knew. Evie needed some time to gather her plans, to figure out her relationship with Christ, and to heal her heart before she got involved with someone else.

  Just when he’d gotten so close, he had to back away. Not for him…no, he was ready to hold her hand on a daily basis and to finally find out how her lips tasted when he kissed her. But she needed some time.

  “You look sad.” Evie tilted her head to look at him. “Are you really that envious of those couples?”

  “Who?” Eli asked as Evie’s words brought him back to the table. “No, I mean, maybe a little bit. They’re living their plan and hopefully are filled with love. But I’m living my plan, too, and still figuring out where I’m going. We’re just headed in different directions.”

  “Then why do you look so sad all of a sudden?”

  Eli placed his fork onto his plate. “I was listening to you talk about Ben and walking away from that relationship. I started to remember how I felt when Whitney finally left.”

  “What happened?”

  “I’ve told you before that she was really interested in moving up in politics and going to all the parties.” Eli paused, and Evie nodded. “For about a month after Dad died, she was very supportive. She encouraged me to keep in touch with Dad’s friends, but she wasn’t pushy. When I didn’t get an invitation to a big cookout with Dad’s colleagues—the kind of thing we used to attend with my parents—she was livid. I asked her what she wanted me to do about it, and she said she wanted me to call some of the other congressmen and ask for a job. I told her I wasn’t sure I wanted to go into politics, and even if I did, I would do it like Dad did and start here, at home. She told me she wouldn’t move back here, so I needed to think about whether I wanted a life with her or not. She was engaged to a congressman’s son, not a small-town lawyer.”

  “Wow, that’s a little mean.”

  “Yeah, it gets worse.” Eli’s throat burned. “She came back a couple of days later and apologized. She said she’d run into one of Dad’s friends and mentioned I was looking for a place and he said to call. For two weeks or more she asked me every day if I had called. Finally she blew up about it. She told me if I wasn’t interested in making something of myself, then I wasn’t the man she thought I was. She handed me the number and said to call, on the spot, or she was gone.”

  He swallowed hard. “I hated being backed into a corner. I wanted to believe she really loved me and would be with me even as I figured out what I wanted to do and how to do it. But I knew, in that moment, she didn’t love me enough for that. And I wasn’t going to give up my dreams to live hers for a little while. I threw the number in the trash. She left the ring on the table and walked out the door.”

  “Wow,” she mouthed. “Did she call?”

  Eli shook his head. “I thought she would. I fully expected to see her number on the caller ID the next day, but nothing. I stayed home for two days, half waiting for her to call and half trying to clean every reminder of her from my apartment. When she didn’t call, I went back to work. A week later the partners here called, and I turned in my notice.”

  “Eli, I’m sorry you had to go through that,” she murmured.

  “I had to remind myself over and over that it was for the best. Before I left D.C., I saw her picture in the paper on the arm of an up-and-coming local politician. I couldn’t believe I didn’t see through her. It took me a while to trust my judgment in people again.” Eli knew he had to add a few other words. “Evie, I know how long it took me to figure out the next step after she left. And I know how long it took me to really trust someone again. I want to give you that space. I want you to know you want to date me before you do. I don’t want to be the guy you run to because you are afraid to be alone. I want to talk to you and be a friend for you as you go through what will not be an easy task. But I think maybe we should wait on starting a relationship until you heal a little.”

  Her expression reminded him of a wounded animal.

  “Please,” he begged, “don’t give up on us. Just allow yourself some time before you jump into something else.”

  She frowned. “I thought you would be happy that we could finally date, really date. But you keep putting up roadblocks. Are you sure I’m the one who will need time to heal, or are you still not ready to make another commitment?” Evie crossed her arms.

  “Maybe you’re right. And if you are, do you want to be caught in a relationship with someone who isn’t ready to trust another woman? How would it make you feel if every time you turned around, I accused you of being like her? If I’m not ready to trust, then that’s the kind of relationship you’d be getting into. And I care too much about you to put you through something like that.”

  He wanted her to understand. She stood on the brink of a major life change, and she had no idea how she would feel about the situation tomorrow. The thought of tomorrow clicked another idea into his mind.

  “How about this,” he offered. “Do what you need to do with Ben. The next day, call me. We’ll talk about how you feel and where you want to go. That will also give both of us a few more days to pray about whether or not the timing is right.”

  Evie bit the corner of her lip as she considered his request and then nodded. “Do you really think breaking up with Ben will change the way I feel so drastically?”

  “I don’t know,” he whispered. I hope not, his heart cried.

  )

  Two hours later Eli sat in his driveway. He wondered what it would be like to come home to a wife and a couple of kids. He could almost envision Evie running a campaign headquarters from the spare bedroom while helping two blond little girls with their homework. They would be in the political business together—partners in work as well as in life. He climbed from his empty car and walked toward the empty house. The 1,800 square feet that had seemed so much larger than his one-bedroom apartment now felt large in its emptiness.

  His cell showed no missed calls or texts. But why would anyone call? He hadn’t told anyone about his informal date with Evie. He didn’t want the rumor mills to be grinding about them. He grabbed the remote control and flicked on the television, but the noise did nothing to fill the silence in his heart.

  “Okay, God,” he said hoping his words would travel through the roof of his lonely house and into the very presence of his Lord, “I’m really trying here. I haven’t felt like this about a woman in a long time, maybe ever. Please give me something, some sign that I’m headed in the right direction. I’m at the intersection of confuse
d and lost, and I could use your help right now.”

  Silence.

  He stomped toward the master bedroom and tossed his coat on the bed. Beside it, he noticed the open Sunday school book he had been studying this week. His alarm hadn’t gone off that morning, and he had not been able to do his study before leaving for work. He picked up the book and started to read Hebrews 11:5-6, the verses for the day.

  By faith Enoch was taken from this life, so that he did not experience death; he could not be found, because God had taken him away. For before he was taken, he was commended as one who pleased God. And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

  Eli knew the voice in his heart wasn’t audible. In fact, he felt the still, quiet peace more than he heard it. “Have faith in me. Seek me.”

  “Okay, God,” he whispered, “give me the strength. I believe you have a plan, and I’ll keep looking for where you want me to go next.”

  9

  )

  S

  aturday morning, Evie pricked a pile of scrambled eggs with her fork. Growing up, her father would make scrambled eggs, pancakes, and bacon every Saturday morning while her mother slept late. Then he woke up Evie and Taylor, and they all ate breakfast together. Saturday morning was probably the only meal they ate together all week.

  As a usual routine, her father would drive over to the casinos to gamble away any extra money he made during the week while her mother entertained Evie and Taylor. Her dad would arrive home in time for her mom to go to dinner with “friends” and would make sure they ate supper, had baths, and went to bed on time.

  Why do I even have to talk to them about my relationships when they don’t have much of a relationship themselves? What do they really know about marriage other than how to look the other way? Maybe she could break up with Ben and pretend that’s what happened in the first place.

  “But it wouldn’t be honest.” The sentence crept into her mind every time she thought she had decided to skip talking to her parents. “Just tell them,” the voice continued to whisper in her ear.

  “So what are your plans today?” her mother asked as she sipped her coffee from a small white cup. Her father lowered the paper to look at Evie as they both waited for an answer.

  “Not much,” Evie said, starting to sweat. “What’s going on here?”

  “I planned to go shopping for a new bedroom suite for your brother’s room. I didn’t know if you had plans with Eli or if you might want to come along.”

  Evie’s heart lurched, and the hair on her arms stood up at the mention of Eli’s name. Now or never, her heart told her. “About Eli, there’s something I need to tell you.”

  Both parents looked at her. Her father folded the newspaper and set it on the table.

  “Eli and I aren’t really dating.”

  “But I thought things were going so well. Why did you break up? You seemed happy at the game several weeks ago, and we thought you had dinner with him last night,” her mother quizzed her.

  “We didn’t break up, Mom. We were never together in the first place.” Her parents looked as confused as Evie had felt over the last weeks. “I never really broke up with Ben.”

  “Evie, I thought we already had this discussion,” her father interrupted as he peered over his glasses, his frustration clearly mounting.

  She held up a hand. “Just listen a minute. I know we already discussed this, and you were right. Ben isn’t the person for me. But when you first told me to break up with him, I loved him and I didn’t want to do it. Ben and I knew we couldn’t afford to put both of us through school on what he makes, much less pay for my car and sorority.” She stopped for a minute. She had to tell the whole story. “So we pretended to break up. And part of the plan was for me to date Eli but to be miserable. And when you saw how miserable Eli made me, you would want me to get back with Ben.”

  “So what made you decide this plan wasn’t working?” her mother asked, holding her coffee cup in midair.

  “I really like Eli. He’s a nice guy, and he loves politics as much as I do. Most of all he cares about doing what’s best for me. He’s talked a lot about God’s plan for him and for me and maybe even for us. At first I wasn’t sure God even cared, but when I talked to Ben about giving up the hoax, getting married and making it on our own without your money, he wanted nothing to do with it. I realized that if he cared about doing what’s best for me, he wouldn’t want me to be lying to my parents.” Evie shifted her gaze between her parents, trying to gauge their reactions.

  “So you did break up with him?” Her father’s gaze didn’t waver.

  “Not yet,” she whispered. “But I’m going to, when I get back to school,” she added quickly. Neither of her parents said a word, so she asked the question lingering at the end of her confession. “Why did you want me to break up with him, and why did you want me to date Eli? Was it really about the money, or did you think I would be miserable?”

  Her parents exchanged glances. “Evie, he didn’t tell you about the money?” her father asked.

  Evie narrowed her eyes. “What money?”

  He took off his glasses. “We offered him a settlement if he would leave you alone.”

  Panic rose in Evie’s throat. “You did what?” she screamed at them.

  “We did it for you, Evie.” Her mother reached a hand toward Evie.

  Evie jerked away from her mother. “He didn’t take it, did he?”

  Their silence answered her question. She shot up from her seat and stomped out of the kitchen. She heard their chairs slide across the wood floor and their footsteps echo behind her. In her room she yanked her backpack from the floor and threw it onto the bed, causing the mattress to bounce. She shoved her books inside and zipped the bag just as her parents reached her room.

  “What are you doing?” her mother demanded, fear in her eyes.

  Evie jerked out of her mother’s reach for the second time in five minutes. “I’m going to talk to Ben.” Her voice was strong, yet controlled, which contrasted to the weak, out-of-control feeling welling inside her with each second that passed. She had to know why he took the money and, more importantly, why he never told her about it. She spun to face her parents. “Not only did he not tell me about it, you didn’t tell me about it. Why?”

  Both of her parents opened their mouths to speak but then closed them.

  Her father finally found the words a long minute later. “We didn’t want to hurt you. We knew he wasn’t good enough for you. We offered him the money. If he had turned it down, then we’d considered letting the subject drop.” Thomas pushed past Victoria and stood closer to his daughter.

  Evie gritted her teeth.

  “We told you not to see him anymore because we didn’t want you to be hurt by him,” her father continued. “We knew you would get over being mad at us, which is why we asked Eli to come over. We knew if the two of you met, you would realize how much you had in common with him and how little you have in common with Ben. You said it yourself. Eli loves politics as much as you do. We could have chosen any number of men, but we wanted you to at least have something in common with your husband.”

  “Husband?” she muttered. Images of Eli and Ben mixed together until they formed one swirl of emotion. “What are you talking about? Eli and I haven’t even talked about marriage.” What else had her father done behind her back? Did he pay Eli to date her, like he paid Ben to leave her alone?

  “But marriage is where most relationships go for people your age.” Her father held his hands up as she backed away from him. “I thought if you dated someone more appropriate, who would be able to honor a proper agreement, that you would be happier or at least more stable.”

  Evie stopped her packing frenzy. “What kind of agreement did you make, Dad?” She pronounced each word slowly and clearly as cold fear covered the hot anger racing through her ve
ins.

  “I didn’t make an agreement. I made a few suggestions for an agreement, but Eli declined. He said he really likes you, but he doesn’t want a contract marriage, he wants a love marriage.”

  For a second she imagined her father dragging her down a church aisle to a dark, shrouded figure at the altar and into a marriage she’d never consented to enter. Relief mixed with her other emotions as she realized Eli had once again saved her from an uncertain future. Then the anger returned, swifter and stronger than before.

  “I can’t believe you would do this. We’ve never talked about my getting married or you picking my husband. And I can’t believe you would offer someone money to break up with me.”

  I can’t believe he would accept, she added to herself. Suddenly drained of energy, she finished packing, limped lopsided to her car, and drove away.

  Tears finally stung her eyelids when she reached the highway five miles away. Ben let her parents pay him off. How much was she worth? Ten thousand? Twenty? Or was he happy with a couple hundred dollars? No, Ben had big tastes. He knew her parents had real money, and he knew they didn’t like him. Did he bargain and ask for more? Did he ever plan to really break up with her? Was that what he was going to do the day she went to his apartment and they hatched their plan? What had he planned to tell her if she hadn’t come in upset about her parents’ ultimatum?

  The tears streaming down her cheeks dried as her anger burned. The hour-long drive from her parents’ house to Ben’s apartment seemed to take twice as long as usual. Her anger subsided into a state of shock as she stopped at the first of many traffic lights leading into town. Before her parents got involved, she and Ben saw each other almost every day. They would meet for lunch, study together after dinner, and watch hours of television, lounging around after a day of school and work. If they missed a day of seeing each other, she had felt at a loss.