For All Time

by Angela Benson

  What was she going to do now? Everything was different. She and Josh weren’t special anymore. They were just people. People who had lost sight of each other. People who had a sham of a marriage. The tears began to flow then. She wasn’t cried out after all.

  ***

  Josh dragged himself back to their bedroom and sat on the bed they had shared. He lay back and remembered all the good times they had shared. In bed. And out. He squeezed his eyes shut and blocked out the other thoughts that fought with these happy ones. Images of Gloria’s face when he’d walked in on her and Darlene Saturday morning. That was a look of hurt and anger that he’d never seen on her face before. And he was the cause of it.

  If only he could undo this whole relationship with Darlene. He should never have encouraged her. It was all his fault. What was he going to do?

  Nineteen

  Gloria was glad to go to work Monday morning even though she’d have to deal with Foster Dixon, who was shepherding the South Fulton deal. Finally, she could concentrate on something other than the problems in her marriage. Josh had gone back to Raleigh, thank God. She couldn’t deal with him right now.

  As if he heard her thinking about him, Foster walked into her office. “Ready?”

  “Of course,” she said. She got up from her desk and walked over to the conference table. “Let’s get started.”

  Gloria was surprised at how well she and Foster worked together. For all of Foster’s machismo, he was a team player, soliciting her ideas and considering her opinions. Not once did he make a personal overture.

  “How about lunch?” he asked when they were finished.

  Feeling good about their accomplishments, she said, “Sure, I could use a break.”

  They ended up at Mick’s on Peachtree. Mick’s brought thoughts of Josh, which she quickly shoved aside. She ordered the pasta instead of her usual grilled chicken salad. Again, she wanted to keep thoughts of Josh at bay. Unfortunately, Foster ordered the salad.

  “What’s the matter?” he asked.

  Surprised and embarrassed that her emotions were so close to the surface, Gloria shook her head. “Everything’s fine.”

  “Good,” Foster said. “I don’t want you having second thoughts about lunch with me. I couldn’t believe my good fortune when you decided to come without your chaperon.”

  Gloria laughed softly at his reference to Portia. “I usually need a chaperon with you. You can be bad sometimes.”

  Foster took a drink from the Coke the waiter had delivered to the table. “What was different about today? I really didn’t expect you to come.”

  Gloria didn’t want to talk about her reasons. She had told herself that she had come because Foster had behaved so well at the meeting, but she knew there was more to it than that. And that reason concerned Josh. “Maybe I just felt adventurous today,” she said with a coy smile.

  Foster nearly choked on his drink, though his recovery was admirable. “If I didn’t know you better, I’d swear you were flirting with me.”

  She smiled, but said nothing.

  “Well, well, well. Has Josh been a bad boy?”

  That was the wrong thing to say. It hit too close to the truth. She never would have agreed to this lunch if things weren’t strained between her and Josh. “Discussions about Josh are off- limits.”

  “Okay, pretty lady. I don’t want to talk about him, anyway.”

  Gloria smiled again. This was what she needed. To feel desirable and attractive. Josh’s betrayal had made her question her desirability and attractiveness. It was clear now why she had decided to lunch with Foster. She wanted him to confirm those things that Josh had caused her to question.

  When they got back to Gloria’s office, Foster asked, “How about dinner one night this week?”

  She hesitated before answering. Did she really want to do this? “I don’t know.”

  “I don’t bite,” he said with a grin.

  “I’m not too sure about that.”

  “I’ll make it easy for you. We can make it a working dinner. A brainstorming session of financing alternatives for South Fulton.”

  What’s the harm in a little dinner? she asked herself, ignoring her conscience. “Okay, how about Thursday? That’ll give us both time to think more about South Fulton.”

  ***

  Josh endured Monday morning. His thoughts were with Gloria, so concentration on work was impossible. Amazing, he thought, how the actions of one night could so drastically affect his life. Everything that he held dear was in jeopardy. Gloria and his marriage. They were what was important. How had he lost sight of that?

  He had done nothing but think since Saturday. He wondered how things had gotten so far out of hand. How did he end up leaving Gloria in Atlanta in the first place? Married people are supposed to be together. Job or no job, they should’ve been able to work it out in Atlanta. Why hadn’t they been able to do that?

  That was the million-dollar question. Their marriage had been rocky ever since he’d lost the General Electronics job. He had thought this new job would help put those problems behind them. Looking back on it now, he realized how naive they both had been. If they couldn’t work out their problems together, they sure as hell couldn’t work them out apart. Maybe that was what Elliot had tried to tell him. But he hadn’t listened. And look where it got him. He should have taken Elliot’s counsel more seriously. After all, he and Marilyn had made it through the rough patch in their marriage. Hindsight, he thought, was always twenty-twenty. Maybe he should have taken Elliot up on his partnership offer.

  Josh knew he had to do something. Before Saturday’s incident, he had hoped Gloria would move to Raleigh. Now, that was out of the question. She wasn’t going to move and he didn’t blame her. What woman in her right mind would give up her job and move away from a home she loved to follow a man she couldn’t trust to be faithful to their marriage vows? Not Gloria.

  He knew, too, that he and Gloria couldn’t work out their problems apart. So, he had to move back to Atlanta. He picked up the phone and called Elliot. “Are you still looking for a partner?” he asked.

  ***

  “You can’t do it,” Carla said.

  “Watch me,” Josh responded. He was surprised at Carla’s attitude.

  “You have a contract with Carolina Electronics and I’m holding you to it. If you leave, I’ll have you in court so fast, your head will spin.”

  He had seen that look on Carla’s face before, the hard-driv- ing, do-anything-to-get-the-job-done look that made him uneasy. “That doesn’t make sense. Why would you go to all that trouble? Let me out of the contract and we can forget the bonus compensation that I’ve earned. I have to move back to Atlanta. Now.”

  Carla got up from her seat, walked around, and sat on the edge of the desk to face him. “And I need you here. Maybe we can work out some kind of compromise. I can give you a month’s leave, six weeks tops.”

  He caught her gaze and held it. “That’s not good enough. I need to move.” Too much is at stake, he added to himself.

  Carla went back to her chair and sat down. “Well, I won’t let you out of the contract and you won’t accept my compromise. Unless you can come up with another alternative, I’d say you’re stuck.”

  At that moment, he wanted to wipe that silly smirk off her face. “I understand your position, Carla, and I know I’m asking a lot, but there’s no way I can fulfill the terms of that contract.”

  She picked up a pencil and began writing on the ledger in front of her. Without looking up, she said, “I suggest you get back to work.”

  Josh stared at her for a few long seconds before leaving her office. He strode back to his office, slamming the door behind him. There was no way he was going to allow this job to cause him to lose his marriage. There was more than one way to skin a cat and to get out of a contract.

  The phone rang and Josh picked it up. His “hello” sounding more like “What do you want?”

>   “It’s Elliot. I got your message. Are you serious about coming into business with me?”

  “I’m willing to talk about it. That is, if you’re still interested.”

  “Hell, yes, I’m still interested. When will you be in town again?”

  “This weekend.” He’d have plenty of time to talk with Elliot since he had a feeling Gloria wouldn’t be doing too much talking. At least, not to him.

  “That’s great. We’ll talk then. I’m excited about this, Josh. I could sure use your help.”

  “From the little I’ve heard from Gloria, it seems you’re on your way. I’d understand if I’d waited too late to take you up on your offer.”

  “No way. I’m not letting you out that easily. I need you, all right.”

  They said their goodbyes and Josh hung up. He wondered again why he hadn’t considered Elliot’s offer seriously when he had first made it. If he had, he wouldn’t be having these problems in his marriage now. Well, it was too late to go down that road again. He had made what seemed like the right choice a few months ago. Only in the glaring light of hindsight was it so obvious that the choice was wrong.

  ***

  Foster postponed his dinner meeting with Gloria until Friday night. She was surprised that she had such a good time with him. They talked business, but he also provided the confirmation of her womanliness that she so needed. And he provided it in such a way that she could still feel that she had been faithful to her marriage vows.

  When he got back to her house, he invited himself in for coffee. Against her better judgment, she allowed him in.

  Foster followed her into the kitchen to help with the coffee. When she reached up to pull the coffee canister from one of the higher shelves in the cabinet, Foster came up behind her. “I’ll get that.” He came so close that his chest touched her back, then he reached up and got the canister. When he placed it on the counter in front of her, he rested both of his hands face down on the counter on either side of her. She stood trapped in the middle of his arms.

  She didn’t know what to say or what to do. It had been such a nice evening that she didn’t want to put a pall on it. So, picking up the coffee canister, she turned within his arms and smiled up at him, the canister the only thing separating them. “Thanks. Now, can you let me out of this cage?”

  Foster smiled back at her, but he didn’t move. “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known,” he said. “I’ve thought that from the first day we met.”

  God, she needed to hear those words. Needed to know that someone other than Josh found her attractive. But she knew this situation could easily get out of hand. Flirting was okay, but she wasn’t ready for anything more. A picture of Darlene flashed through her mind. Maybe she was. “Foster . . .”

  “Don’t, Gloria. For this one night, let me tell you how I feel. For a few minutes, let’s pretend you aren’t married. Hell, Josh doesn’t even exist.” When she would have interrupted, he added, “Just a few minutes. If you want me to go away after I’ve had my say, I will. But if you want me to stay, I’ll do that too.”

  She looked up at him and saw the sincerity and love in his eyes. She wondered how she could have missed the depth of his feelings for her. All this time she had thought he was just flirting, but the look in his eyes told another story. Foster Dixon was in love with her.

  He saw the recognition in her eyes. “You never knew?”

  She shook her head. It was as if she was in some sort of trance. Maybe she never saw it because she only looked for love in Josh’s eyes. “I’m so sorry, Foster.”

  He removed the canister from her hands and put a finger to her lips. “Don’t say anything more. Let me have this time with you. Okay?”

  She didn’t say anything more. She just stood there thinking about this man who loved her. She knew then that there was more to Foster Dixon than she had ever imagined. It caused something inside her to open up and she knew that this was a moment that she wanted too. Not a lifetime, because she still loved Josh. But a moment. A moment to get herself back after that awful run-in with Josh and Darlene. A moment to show this wonderful man that she appreciated what he was doing for her.

  ***

  Josh found them like that. Foster’s body hid Gloria from his sight, but he heard Foster’s words and he didn’t see Gloria try to get away. Anger rose up in Josh like a fountain and before he knew it, he had stormed over and pulled Foster away from Gloria. He turned Foster around and punched him in the jaw.

  Foster, too surprised to block the blow, was knocked off balance. Gloria stood with her mouth open, looking from Foster to Josh and back again. Finally, she said, “Josh, I didn’t know you were coming in tonight.” She could have kicked herself as soon as the words were out of her mouth.

  Josh glanced at Foster. “That I believe. Was I interrupting something?”

  Gloria decided this was a conversation they needed to have alone. She looked at Foster, who was rubbing his jaw. “Are you all right?” she asked. When he nodded, she said, “Let me walk you to the door. Josh and I need to talk. Alone.”

  Foster nodded at Gloria, but his look sent daggers at Josh and he didn’t move to follow Gloria out of the room.

  “Foster, please don’t make this situation more difficult than it already is.”

  Foster brushed past Josh and followed Gloria out of the kitchen. At the front door, he asked, “Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”

  Gloria nodded. “He’s not going to hit me, if that’s what you mean. More than that, I can’t answer.”

  “I’m sorry if I’ve caused you any problems, but I had to tell you how I felt. It’s been eating me up for years. Maybe now I can get over you. That is, unless you decide you do feel something for me.”

  “Oh, Foster, I’m in no position to feel anything for you. Regardless of what happens with Josh and me, you should go on with your life. There’s some lucky woman out there just waiting to make you happy. Don’t waste your love on me.” She reached up and kissed him on the cheek. “Thanks for dinner and everything else. You’ll never know how much the evening meant to me, how much I needed what you gave me. I’m just sorry I couldn’t give you more.”

  Foster stared at her for a few seconds as if willing her to love him back. Then he nodded and headed for his car.

  Gloria eased the door shut and leaned her head against it. Josh’s voice caused her to turn around. “What did you say?” she asked.

  “You heard me. I asked how long you’ve been seeing him.”

  Gloria saw the hurt in Josh’s face and a part of her was glad that she was able to hurt him. Another part of her wanted to hold him in her arms and let him know that no other man had taken his place. Instead, she brushed past him and went back to the kitchen.

  Josh followed her. “Are you going to answer my question?”

  Gloria put the coffee canister back in the cabinet. She no longer wanted coffee. All she wanted was to go to bed. Alone. “I’m going to bed, Josh. I’m not going to stand here and be interrogated by you.”

  Josh watched her leave the kitchen as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn’t seen her standing in Foster Dixon’s arms. That bastard. Josh wished he’d given him more than one punch. He couldn’t believe it. The guy was in his home, making time with his wife.

  Josh pulled out a dinette chair and sat down. It was too much. First, him and Darlene. Now, Gloria and Foster. What was happening to his marriage? His life? Would he ever get back what he had? At this point, he really didn’t know. All he knew was that, right now, he hurt as he had never hurt before. And the worse part of it was that he had brought it all on himself.

  He put his head in his hands and cried.

  Twenty

  Josh looked for Gloria after he got up the next morning, but she wasn’t in the house. She may have eluded him this morning, but she couldn’t avoid him forever. He’d see to it. It was probably good that she wasn’t in now since he was scheduled to meet with Ell
iot this morning.

  An hour later, he was in Elliot’s garage. “So, you’ve decided to join me in this venture. I’m glad, but something tells me it’s not just the great opportunity that I’ve put before you that led you to this decision.”

  Josh knew Elliot deserved an explanation. If they were going to be partners, they needed to be honest with each other. “You’re right. It’s not just the opportunity. I think I should have seen that earlier.” When Elliot didn’t respond, he continued, “I also should have listened to your advice on this commuter marriage. It’s not working.”

  Elliot took two chairs from a table, offered one to Josh, and took a seat himself. “I’m really sorry about that, Josh. Marilyn and I both hoped you and Gloria would pull it off.”

  “Well, we couldn’t. And now I need to get back to Atlanta to save my marriage.”

  “Is it that bad?”

  Josh nodded. “It’s worse than you think. Gloria thinks there’s another woman.”

  “And why would she think that?”

  Josh looked at his hands because he didn’t want to see the look on Elliot’s face. “Because there was.”

  “Josh! I don’t believe it. Not you. You didn’t cheat on Gloria.”

  He looked up at Elliot. The shock and disbelief that he saw didn’t surprise him. “No, I didn’t, but I came close. And she found out. I have to move back to save my marriage.”

  In a way, Elliot felt relief at Josh’s words. Maybe now he could let go of the guilt over what he had said to Gloria that night. “I’m sorry it took these circumstances to bring you back, but I’m glad to know that I’ll have you on my team. I need you, Josh.”

  “That’s good, because I need you too. There’s something else you should know.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Carolina Electronics is making noise about not letting me out of my contract. I think it’s a scare tactic, but I thought you should know.”

  “Can they really do that?”