For All Time

by Angela Benson

  She smiled as if she knew something that he didn’t. “That wouldn’t be fair to you, Josh. You wouldn’t want a reputation for reneging on your word, would you?”

  He knew it was a threat. “Let’s just say I’m willing to take the risk.”

  She shrugged her shoulders. “It’s your career, but I think you’ll find it fairly difficult to get another position if you break this contract.”

  Josh shook his head, not believing this conversation. “Why are you making this so difficult when you can hire somebody else?”

  Carla picked up her pencil and twirled it between her fingers. “I have plans, Josh, and those plans include you. When I interviewed you for this job, I was also looking for someone who could one day take my place as Plant Manager. It just so happens that the time is coming sooner than I thought.”

  “Why would you be looking to replace yourself? That doesn’t make sense.”

  She put the pencil down again and leaned forward. “Because when I leave this office, I’m going to an office at Corporate Headquarters, an office with Corporate Vice-President on the door. The corporate boys like you. They like the idea of your taking over here once I’m gone. You’re not going to screw this up for me. And you shouldn’t screw it up for yourself. You want this as much as I do. I know it. I saw it in you the first day we met. That’s why I hired you.”

  Josh leaned forward. God help him, he was interested. He was still convinced that this was the best job he’d ever had, and even more so now with this new opportunity. He couldn’t afford to be too hasty. “What kind of time are we talking about for these . . . ah . . . changes to take place?”

  “A couple, three years, if things work out like I think they’ll work out.”

  Josh sat back. Before he had walked through her office door, he had thought he couldn’t get good luck if they were selling it on the street. And now this.

  Well, maybe it wasn’t good luck after all. It was an opportunity that he had to turn down regardless of how good it was, because it wasn’t worth giving up his marriage.

  “If you give me the option of taking a six-week leave,” he said, “I’ll have to take it, but I must tell you again that it’s very unlikely I’ll be back. Given that, I’ll understand if you withdraw the offer.”

  Carla stood, a satisfied smile on her face. “Let’s have this talk again in about six weeks.” He stood when she walked around her desk to escort him to the door. “Now, get things lined up in your office and be sure to let me know when you’re leaving.”

  When Josh got back to his office, Darlene was seated at his desk. Oh, hell, he thought, here we go again. “What are you doing here?” he asked.

  She didn’t bother getting up. She just looked up at him. “I’m having lunch with my sister so I stopped in to say hi.”

  Given the low cut of the dress she wore, he seriously doubted lunch with Carla was all Darlene had in mind. “Well, you’ve said it. Shouldn’t you be getting to your sister’s office?”

  When she stood, he knew she had more on her mind than lunch with Carla. The dress fell across the tops of her thighs. He acknowledged again that she was one fine woman. “There’s no need to be mean, Josh,” she purred. “I thought we were friends.”

  Josh walked past her to his chair. He picked up a pencil and pretended to write. “Our friendship ended the night you got into my bed.”

  She sat on the desk and leaned toward him. When he looked up, he saw what she wanted him to see. “You know that’s where you wanted me. I dare you to deny it.”

  He pushed back his chair so she wouldn’t be so close. He may have thought it, but it was only a fantasy. He knew that now. And he had known it that night. “I admit we may have gotten our signals crossed earlier and I may have led you on, but I’m telling you now that I love my wife and I’m not giving up on my marriage. You need to find yourself somebody who’s interested. It’s not me.”

  She slid off the desk and walked to the door, undaunted by his comment. “I’ll see you around, Josh. You take care now.”

  Josh shook his head. Women. The three in his life were driving him crazy. Carla, Darlene, and Gloria. Well, he needed to get two of them out of his life and he was starting with Darlene.

  ***

  “Your mind’s not on the work, Josh. Do you want to talk about it?”

  Josh looked at Elliot, who was seated at the desk across from him. Elliot had brought a new desk into the garage for Josh. It was a bit crowded, but they knew it was only days before they found suitable office space. “I’m losing her, Elliot,” he said. “I’m losing her and there’s nothing I can do.”

  “I don’t know what to say. What’s going on with you two?”

  “She hasn’t spoken to me since I got in Sunday. It’s Tuesday and she’s still either too busy or too tired. We don’t eat dinner together. Nothing. I could have stayed in North Carolina.”

  “You knew she was going to need some time. Just be patient.”

  “That’s what I keep telling myself, but it’s hard. I didn’t do anything, and I’m getting tired of being treated like an adulterer.”

  Elliot only smiled. “It’s been two days. Give it some time.”

  “But it seems like forever.” They were both silent for a while. Josh hated his inability to exert any pressure in this situation, but all he could do was be there when she decided to forgive him. “Enough of that,” he finally said. “Let’s get back to work. We should visit the site on Stone Mountain Industrial. I think it suits our purposes.”

  ***

  “You can’t keep running from me,” Josh said. It was Friday and things between him and Gloria weren’t getting any better. “We have to talk. We’ve been living like strangers.”

  Gloria was seated on the bed in the guest bedroom that had become her haven. “I’m not ready. I need more time.”

  “And I’ve been trying to give you time, but think about me. Do you think it’s easy for me to live in this house with you and not see you, not talk to you, not be with you?”

  She didn’t want to hear this. It still made her nauseous even to think of sex with Josh. She was nauseous a lot lately. “I told you not to make any rash decisions. You should have stayed in Raleigh.”

  “Is that what you really want?”

  “I want you to leave me alone.”

  Josh walked over to her and pulled her up from the bed. The tears in her eyes ripped at his heart. “Don’t you know that I love you? I’d never do anything to hurt you. You do know it; I can see it in your eyes.”

  God help her, he was right. She was still in love with him. And that was why she couldn’t be around him, talk with him, be with him. She pulled away, not trusting herself not to respond to the need she saw in his eyes. “This is hard for you? Well, it’s also hard for me. And I can’t take it anymore.”

  “What do you mean by that?”

  She stormed out of the room and went to the master bedroom they had shared, with him trailing behind her. “It means I can’t take it anymore,” she said, standing in her walk-in closet. “What are you doing?” he asked.

  She threw a suitcase on the bed, opened it, and began throwing in clothes from the closet and the chest. “Packing.”

  Josh watched her, not believing what he was seeing. “Packing? Where are you going?”

  “I’m getting out of here. It’s hard for you. It’s hard for me. I’ll make it easier for both of us.”

  Josh grabbed her arm as she pulled another garment from the middle drawer of the chest. “What are you talking about? You’re not going anywhere. This is our home.”

  She jerked her arm away. “Watch me.”

  Josh watched as she flung garment after garment into the suitcase. When she tried to close it, it was too full. She grunted and pulled out another suitcase. She moved clothes from one bag to the other until she was able to close them both. Without a word, she pulled both bags from the bed and stumbled to the door under their weight.<
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  Josh followed her out of the room. For some stupid reason, he wanted to help her with those bags. When she got to the top of the stairs, she dropped them beside her to take a rest.

  “You can’t just leave like this. Where would you go?”

  She shook her head, breathless. “I don’t know where I’m going. I just know I have to get out of here.”

  “You’re not even going to give us a chance to work this out?”

  “Work what out, Josh? Face facts. It wasn’t just your . . . ah . . . encounter with Darlene. We’ve been having problems for a long time. Maybe they wouldn’t have surfaced if you hadn’t lost your job, but since that happened, we haven’t really been a couple. Not really.”

  Josh rejected the truth he heard in those words. “All couples have problems. If they really love each other, they work them out.”

  She picked up her bags again. “Don’t you see, Josh? That’s it. Maybe we don’t really love each other. Maybe we never have.”

  She made her way down the stairs, stopping a few times to catch her breath. When she reached the bottom, she put the bags down again, walked to the living room table, and picked up her purse. Picking up the bags again, she stumbled out the front door.

  Josh was left staring at the door as she closed it behind her. It was as if he were held in place by some invisible force. When he heard her car start, he was riveted out of his pose and out the door. He reached the sidewalk just as she pulled out into the street.

  “Gloria,” he called, but it was too late. She was gone and it felt as if she had taken a part of him with her.

  ***

  As Gloria drove down the street, she remembered the last time she had left the house in anger. The night of their first fight. This time was different though. This time she didn’t know if she’d ever be back.

  She felt the tears build up in her eyes, but she was determined not to cry. She had cried enough. Now was the time for action. She had to find a way to pick up the pieces of her life. Then, maybe she could pick up the pieces of her marriage. Maybe.

  When she stopped driving, she was in front of Portia’s house. She wasn’t sure of the welcome she’d get or what she’d do afterward, but she needed to talk to her friend.

  “Gloria,” Portia said when she opened the front door and saw her friend standing there. “God, I’m glad to see you. Josh called an hour or so ago and we’ve been worried since. Come on in.” Portia stepped back and Gloria followed her into the den. When they were seated, Portia asked, “What happened?”

  Gloria wiped her hands down the side of her face. “What hasn’t happened? I left home. I left Josh.”

  “Oh, Gloria. I’m sorry it came to this. Are you sure you couldn’t work it out?”

  Gloria shook her head. “Not now. I need to be on my own for a while. To think about what I want.”

  “I take it Josh didn’t understand that need.”

  Gloria turned up her nose. “We argued. I left. Not exactly an amicable parting.”

  Dexter rushed into the room and kissed Gloria on the cheek. “I saw your car outside. God, am I glad to see you. What’s up with you and Josh?”

  Gloria looked askance at Portia. “I haven’t told him,” Portia said. “That’s your decision.”

  Dexter looked from one woman to the other. “What are you talking about?”

  Gloria nodded, then Portia got up and kissed Dexter on his forehead. “I’ll get us some coffee. Have a seat and keep Gloria company until I get back.”

  Dexter watched his wife leave the room, wondering what was going on. He looked back at Gloria. “What’s up with you and Josh?” he asked again. “When he called here, he sounded out of control.”

  Gloria told him how she had left the house.

  “But why, Gloria? You and Josh have a good marriage. Why can’t you work this out?”

  Portia walked back into the room before Gloria could answer. She handed them both a cup of coffee, settled herself on the arm of Dexter’s chair, and reached for his hand. “Gloria found Josh in a compromising situation with another woman.”

  Dexter squeezed his wife’s hand and then asked Gloria, “Are you sure?”

  Gloria jumped up from the couch. “How can you ask me that? I saw her.”

  Portia stood up and pulled her friend into her arms. “Don’t get upset, Gloria. Dexter didn’t mean anything by that. He wanted to understand. We love you and Josh.”

  Dexter joined in their embrace. “That’s right, Gloria. I can’t believe Josh would do something like that. He loves you too much.”

  Gloria pulled out of their embrace. “What does love have to do with it?”

  Dexter had a bewildered look on his face and he turned to his wife for direction.

  “She knows about us,” Portia said softly.

  “Oh,” was Dexter’s only response. He walked back to his chair and sat down. Portia joined him. “You probably don’t want to hear anything I have to say now, Gloria, but know that I never stopped loving Portia through the whole thing. I just thank God she was able to believe in me again. I hope that you’ll give Josh the same consideration.”

  Gloria stared at her friends seated there in the same chair, offering comfort to each other. She knew it was difficult for them to discuss this, and she was touched that they cared enough about her and Josh to sacrifice their own feelings. “I love you both for what you’re trying to do, but I’m not ready to do anything yet. I think I’d better leave.”

  “Leave? Where are you going?” Portia asked.

  Anywhere but home. “I don’t know yet. I’ll find a hotel room until I can rent a place.”

  “You’ll do no such thing,” Dexter said. “You’ll stay here with us. You and Josh may not be able to live together right now, but that doesn’t mean we’re no longer your friends.”

  “I couldn’t do that. I wouldn’t want to impose. Not with the baby . . .”

  “That’s why we need you here,” Portia said. “You need to spend more time with your goddaughter. It’ll be good for you both. And, God knows, I can use the company around here.”

  Gloria smiled and felt relief at their offer. She would feel better around friends. “But I won’t be good company. I don’t want to put a damper on your lives.”

  “We’re going to worry more if you go someplace else, so you have to stay here.”

  “I’m still not sure . . .”

  Dexter stood up. “Well, I am. Are your things in the car?” At her nod, he ordered, “Give me the keys.”

  Gloria reached for her purse on the couch and gave him the keys. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes,” they both said and then they laughed.

  “Thanks a lot, you two,” Gloria said. “I hope you don’t live to regret this.”

  Twenty-Two

  'Tm sorry I’m late, Portia,” Josh said. He pulled out a chair and sat down. “Why don’t we go ahead and order? You must be hungry.”

  “Actually, I’m not.”

  Josh sobered. “Neither am I. How is she?”

  “About as well as can be expected. She’s working out her troubles. Between work and Paige, she keeps herself pretty busy. So busy she doesn’t think about her problems.”

  “Damn,” Josh said, his frustration mounting. “She needs to think about the problem and the solution. What am I going to do, Portia? I love her and I know I’m losing her.”

  Portia’s heart contracted at the anguish she knew Josh felt. “I wish there was something I could say, but there isn’t. You have to wait her out.”

  “I can’t accept that.”

  “You don’t have a choice.”

  “And that’s what’s killing me. My life is in her hands and I have no influence on her decision. Or when she’s going to make it. This is impossible.”

  “It’s impossible for her, too, Josh. Her world has been turned upside down. She needs time.”

  “She told you?”

  Portia nodded.


  “It’s not true, you know. I didn’t sleep with Darlene. Sure, I thought about it a couple of times. But each time I thought about it, I was angry with Gloria. It was never because of anything I felt for Darlene. It was always about what I felt for Gloria. Do you believe me?”

  Portia nodded. “But unfortunately, I don’t count.”

  “You do count. It’s such a sick story that I’m glad somebody believes it. It gives me hope that one day Gloria will believe it too.”

  Portia didn’t want to dash Josh’s hopes, but she wanted him to be clear. “It’s more than that, Josh.”

  He waited a few seconds before responding. “I know, but I’ve been telling myself that this was the major thing. Am I right?”

  “In a way. But the only reason she can believe you were unfaithful is because of the way you two handled the unemployment thing. That made her think she didn’t know you as well as she thought. That’s why she can believe the worst about you.”

  Portia wasn’t telling him anything he didn’t already know. “Problems really compound, don’t they?”

  Portia nodded. “You can’t run away from them. You have to solve them or you’re right, they compound.”

  “And now I’ve got problems at work,” he said aloud, though he was really talking to himself. “When it rains, it pours.”

  “Oh, Josh, I’d forgotten about that. How long are you going to be away from work?”

  He gave a wry smile. “I’m working here.”

  “What? You’re back in Atlanta for good.”

  So Gloria hadn’t thought his move back important enough to tell Portia. “Unless I end up in court.”

  “That you have to explain.”

  Josh explained his partnership with Elliot and the lawsuit Carla had threatened.

  “A lawsuit? Does Gloria know this?”

  He shook his head. “We haven’t talked long enough for me to tell her.”

  Portia covered his hand with her own. “I know you’re hurting and right now you think you and Gloria may never get back together, but there is hope. Yours wouldn’t be the first marriage to survive infidelity. Or supposed infidelity.”