Her Online Addiction

by Ruby McQueen

  “You got this, T, easy points.” We slap hands together and I line up at the free throw line while both teams settle into positions down the key. The ref blows his whistle and hands me the ball. I look down at my feet while I bounce the ball in front of me. I visualise the shot in my mind going in before looking up at the ring. I pause with the ball cradled back in my right hand with my left hand securing it near the front, I bend my knees a little before flexing my arm up and shooting the ball forward as my body springs up. The ball leaves the flick of my wrist with some back spin and goes cleanly into the hoop for one point. Relief!

  “Yeaaaah, T! One to come, girl.” Merrick, ever the cheer squad comes up and sticks his fist out for a pound before retreating back to the key. I’m sure my lady lumps make my appearance feminine, desirable even despite my lack of pink-thrills personality, but on the courts that counts for exactly shit. At this point in time, I am one of the guys and I have focus on one thing, winning!

  I take a long slow breath and repeat the process. I bounce the ball automatically while beads of sweat trickle from the nape of my neck and trek down past my sticky team vest between my cleavage absorbing into my already damp sports bra. I close my eyes and visualise the shot again and ready the ball, I open my eyes and crouch my knees slightly before bouncing the energy up through my body to extend up on flexed toes as the shot leaves my outstretched arm. The ball hangs mid-air. Come on, go! I will it, as it hits the rim of the ring my heart stops for a nano-second. It hits the front and then back before falling in for the point. And I finally breathe.

  “Yeah! Alright, you take it from the back, pass it to me or Bernie and we need to take our time with the shot clock, wind it down. We get a basket and its game over!” Merrick, a natural leader, taking command is totally his thing, and there is an undeniable light that glows from inside him when he is engaged in team sports.

  “Righto.” Bernie takes off and the other three are already past half court. I wait for the ref to pass me the ball at the base line and bounce it just before Merrick’s feet. He dribbles it down leisurely. We pass it a few times at the three-point circle before Bernie calls for the ball as he cuts in near the key which draws two defenders and Merrick takes the opportunity for a three pointer. It seems like time slows as it arks forward before sinking straight past the ring and into the net.

  “Swish! Feel the heat baby.” I jog to him and offer the knuckle bump, ‘feel the heat’ has become our official team catch cry. He has just secured us the win, thirty seconds to go.

  “Damn, Carver, on fire.” Another teammate congratulates him as we head to the net to protect it. It really doesn’t matter if they get the next shot, a three pointer couldn’t even win it now, but it’s a matter of pride, we defend the key with every bit of vigour as if it was the first minute. They eventually take the shot which goes straight in off the back board before the buzzer sounds and the referee blows the whistle long and hard to signal the end.

  I laugh Merrick’s way, he lets out a rather pleased woo sound before making the mandatory handshakes to The Boosters, post-game. Back at the bench where our bags are, we all gather where Merrick tells us we all played well, and everyone gets a congratulatory back slap. I reach into my backpack and grab our drinks and a couple of small sports towels. I hold up the drink to catch his attention before tossing it to him followed by the towel. I begin wiping the sweat off my face. My braided hair is drenched down to the roots. There is something completely cathartic to me, getting lost in sport, no matter what is going on in life, for that hour, on court, it fades from existence. Coupled by the sweat loss, it’s almost like a cleansing. I hang the small towel around my neck and pop the lid on my smoothie and start drinking it while Merrick has moved onto having a laugh with a couple of the team mates now. I just sit down when one of the guys from the boosters approaches me, hand extended out in front of him.

  “Hi, good game... I’m Ezra.” I finish swigging on the protein drink and wipe my hand on the towel before shaking hands as I swallow my mouthful. Wow! Where did he come from? Before me stands an extremely striking Asian man, or part Asian, I guess six foot in height, shiny black hair which is slightly longer at the front and draped across his forehead which makes me think magazine model. It looks perfect, not a hair out of place. Me on the other hand, sweaty mess! I note tattoos on his upper arms and one on his neck with some peeking out near his shoulder from under his green game vest which I assume run across just below his collar bone. His eyes appear Asian, not all the way, but his strong straight black eyebrows slant out from his perfectly straight nose. His eyes seem serious, yet friendly, intense, peering, like Yoda wisdom lurks back there. They are so dark I can’t distinguish his pupils. He has very short stubble where you can see it naturally outlines just along his chiselled jaw line and stubble goatee as well as along the top of his well-defined lips. Such beautiful burnished olive skin, I think his lips are insanely kissable. God! He’s perfect! And I’m staring! I feel myself blush and hope it is masked by what imagine is a flushed and sweaty face and finally respond.

  “Trinity... Hi... Good game, you too.”

  “Trinity, what a pretty name. I thought we might have come back at the end there.” I look away briefly to cap my drink and sit it back inside my bag but also to break eye contact. I know I just played against him for the past hour, but I can’t remember him for the life of me.

  “Cheers. You guys had us worried, great defence in the last quarter by the way.”

  “Yeah, sorry about the foul. Great shooting though.” Ohhh, Mr Sweaty Body all over me was him! Weird that I didn’t notice him on court I muse to myself, he is stunning, hard to miss, but I guess when I’m in the zone, they are just opponents.

  “Aaaah, it’s all cool, what happens on the court…”

  “So, you live around here?”

  “Yep, south of the Park, overlooking it, down that side.” I point to the general direction. “You?”

  “Opposite side of the Park, Bondi Junction.” He smiles at me as he mimics my pointing “That side.” With one side of his well-defined lips curling to one side in amusement.

  “Who’re you guys playing next week?” He continues.

  “Ummmmm? Merrick?” I drag my towel off and flick it over at him. He catches it and halts his current conversation.

  “Sup, T?”

  “Who we up against next week?”

  “The Colonels, 6pm.” I nod, thanks for the time too, not that I asked. Seriously.

  “Well, The Colonels aren’t so bad, they were bottom of the ladder last time I looked.” I add. God, am I making small talk?

  “Well, if you keep playing like that, you will be hard to beat.”

  “Yeah, we came close last year, runners up, hoping for the top spot this time.” I Smile at him and bring my knee up near my chest so I can loosen my shoelaces and give my feet some breathing space.

  Merrick approaches me and turfs the towel back at me.

  “I gotta get cracking kiddo, I told Flynn I’d have his new flat pack desk sorted before tomorrow.” Lies! He sees a guy chatting to me and instead of rescuing me, he takes off! Great!

  “What about dinner?” I ask with puppy dog eyes, hoping he will feel bad, it’s our Monday night thing after all.

  “Rain check?”

  “O-k, sure.” I try not to sound disappointed as he gives me one last knuckle bump before leaving with Bernie. I had hoped to casually bring up Derek for further discussion, but I guess it will have to wait.

  “Boyfriend?” Ezra motions his head towards Merrick.

  “Nah, just friends.”

  “Just friends?” Emphasis on the just.

  “Best friends.” I smile and nod while I admit it, although he did just ditch me!

  I zip up my bag and sling it over my shoulder and pull the strap the slip my other arm through as I stand.

  “Well, how ‘bout dinner? My shout? Seems as though your dinner plans just fell through?” He waits a beat then looks down and smiles.r />
  Should I tell him I’m seeing someone? God, am I seeing someone? Or just fucking? I’m so confused. He is grinning at me as I struggle with my answer.

  “Ummmm, surrrre.” I sound hesitant.

  “Sure? It’s ok if you don’t want to.” God, now I feel rude.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound rude, I was just thinking about how I must look, a hot sweaty mess and dinner date don’t really mix, you know?”

  “So, you want a dinner date huh?” He beams at me and I stare in stunned silence before trying to speak.

  “No-I-I only meant…” He smiles at me warmly.

  “I’m only teasing. I was thinking the Sushi Train just up the road, no strings attached, nothing flash, just dinner and some company with a beautiful lady who has a mean shooting arm.” I nod my head and look at my feet, I bite my lip in realisation I have just made a buffoon of myself. Note to self, stop over thinking things! I look back up and smile, I take a deep breath and say “Sorry, weird week…” with a chuckle raising my shoulders to motion an off-the-cuff apology.

  “That’s ok, no need to explain.” We begin to head towards the stadium doors, and I start thinking about what I can talk to him about, so I don’t seem rude. This thing with Derek is becoming a problem, I’m usually only weird socially when I’m in a relationship, not with others, I’m bubbly and friendly and usually people are drawn in by my spark, which at the moment has fizzed and left me as comfortable in my new friends presence as a sci-fi geek at a hooters convention, if there was such a thing? I think of the only question for Ezra that I can conjure from the puddle of social mush now replacing my grey matter.

  “So how long you been working at boost juice?” I look at him making eye contact trying to seem interested.

  “I only worked there part time through Uni, paid the bills you know?”

  “Wow, cool! Uni, huh? What did you study?” My interest has peaked now, and I look at him with genuine curiosity.

  “I’m a Physiotherapist now.” I have to ask more, the ‘now’ addition is like a hint to something more, so ok, I’ll bite.

  “Now? Was there something before that?” As we exit into the darkness from the building the cool, crisp night air is a welcome burst of relief to the dampness of my overheated skin.

  “Yeah, I am also a certified Acupuncturist and massage therapist, but I wanted something more with healing, so physical rehabilitation seemed the next logical step.”

  “No kidding! Wow, well you sound like you’re a guy who knows exactly what he wants.” As soon as the words leave my mouth, I immediately regret it, that sounds like I’m implying something more than just the comparison to me who struggled to decide what I wanted to do in life.

  “I mean, with what you want in a career.” I add hastily to cover myself. He grins at me for a while in contemplative silence before looking at the ground as we approach the road to cross it.

  “Touché, Trinity, I am a man who knows exactly what he wants.” He makes eye contact with me and his heavy gaze holding a heat that doesn’t match the smile, and in that moment I realise he is attracted to me and the look he is giving me immediately spikes my pulse and has me thinking about what he would be like in bed. Diversion!

  “I didn’t know what I wanted to do out in the workforce when I left school.” Good recovery.

  “Yeah? Well what did you settle with?” Settle, yup, it was like that exactly. And now I’m trying to chase after the cherry on top of the career cake I fell smack into.

  “Well, I started as a telemarketer for a realtor, then went into Mortgage Brokering, which led into working Payroll in the same company. I’m still there now, but I think I’d like to go into the investments side of things.” He grabs my hand without any hesitation as we go to cross the busy street. It sends a rush through me and I want to pull away, but don’t. Why? Why now? Like I can’t commit in a relationship so what? The universe is just flinging eligible hotties into my line of fire to torture me over it! Come on Already!

  We make the dash to the footpath and I drop his hand and smile warmly, oh but please don’t do that again.

  “So, what would you like to be doing?” He moves in to walk close to me as we make our way up on the left-hand side of the path passing the shops lined along it. Most were closed, except a few selling foods.

  “Truth? Hmmmm.”

  “The truth is all I’m into.” He smirks at me again. I’m not so sure this was such a great idea. I’m going to message Merrick when I go home and tell him what a jerk he is! I offer an awkward chuckle and say:

  “You know, I just don’t… really know? I wanted to be a professional athlete as a kid.”

  “Well, you certainly have the passion for it. I’ve never seen so much focus from anyone on the court.”

  “Besides Merrick, our captain.” I add.

  “No, I think you were the standout.” We reach our destination and a little relief washes over me.

  “Well, I enjoy sports a lot, that’s for sure.” We enter the Sushi Train, where there is a bunch of seats set up in a long line opposite a conveyor belt that rotates around clear covered bowls of food which are small portions for you to select whatever plate of food grabs your fancy. Each plate has a ticket on it which you keep till the end so they can tally your bill.

  “After you, Trinity.” He offers his hand out for me to take a seat first. And people say chivalry is dead.

  “Cheers.” I say as I sit down on one of the stools, slinging my backpack off and dropping it at my feet. There aren’t many people in here now, and the train is only about a third full of plates.

  I let a few plates pass before grabbing some tempura coated vegetables. I grab some paper covered chopsticks from a cup on the stainless-steel tabletop and push them through the top so I can start eating. Ezra follows my lead grabbing some sushi. I’m trying to think of my next question while I start eating, but Ezra beats me to it.

  “So, do you have a boyfriend?” And there’s the million-dollar question! I look up at him pressing my lips together as though I’m rubbing them together to spread lippy along them, I take a moment before responding.

  “Well, not exactly.” He smiles at me but looks confused at the same time before popping sushi into his mouth waiting for more details. Ok, how to explain this.

  “I’m sort of seeing someone, well, I just...” I take a deep breath and try again. “Ok, I hooked up with someone I’ve known for a while, he’s not my boyfriend and I’m not sure where it’s going, but... Yeah... No boyfriend.” I look down at my veggie strips and rearrange them in my bowl before I resume eating. Ezra nods his head and swallows his mouthful before replying.

  “This might be forward, but, if I were so lucky to be the guy you were seeing, I most certainly wouldn’t leave any doubt in your mind what you meant to me.” Boom! Headshot! His words sting my ears and I feel a sick sensation rise from the pit of my stomach. I hear the plain, ugly truth of it. I don’t really know where I stand with Derek, just hopes fuelled by lustful torment.

  “Sorry, that was too forward, wasn’t it?” I see the regret wash over his face.

  “No, not at all. I actually prefer people being forward or upfront, it takes the guess work out of it for me.” It’s just that my heart hurts to hear the truth.

  “I didn’t mean to kill the mood, I’m sorry.”

  “No, please don’t. The truth is I’ve been struggling through the confusion of it all myself. I’m prone to over thinking things I guess, and, well... You are right, I don’t really know what I mean to him. I am seeing him this weekend though, so maybe-?” I shrug “Maybe I’ll get a clearer picture, you know?”

  “Yeah... I want to be a gentleman and wish you the best, but I’m secretly hoping he’s a tool.” He gives me a little wink and a cheeky smile followed by a soft chuckle. I can’t help but join in the laughter. I like that he has lightened the mood a little with humour, that’s usually my thing.

  “Ok, so can I ask you something? If it’s rude to ask, I’m so
rry, but you look like you might have an Asian ancestry?” Change of topic is exactly how you get your ass off the hot seat.

  “No, it’s fine to ask. Yes, I’m Filipino and Scottish.” He tilts his head to the side with a smile he glances at me looking maybe pleased with himself that I’m interested.

  “Wow, Scottish too, huh?”

  “You don’t think they go together?” He is beaming at me now in amusement. I think we have chemistry, no denying it.

  “Oh, no, nothing like that. It’s definitely a good mix.” Well shit, did I just say that?

  “Oh? It looks good on me then?” He learns forward onto his forearm and flexes it deliberately in jest so the muscles ripple along his upper arm and I can’t help but laugh loudly at him.

  “Maybe.” I resume eating so I can avoid eye contact.

  “And do I get to ask where you get your rather striking eyes from?” Ah yes, my eyes. Most people either comment on my eyes or my high cheek bones straight away, both were gifts from my mother.

  “They are from my Mother, I’m told.”

  “You’re told? I’m sorry, I…” I put my hand up to stop him mid-sentence.

  “It’s fine, it is what it is. I’ve been told I look just like her though.” Although I wouldn’t know as she left not long after I was born.

  “Well, she must be beautiful too. Your eyes are very alluring.” He doesn’t enquire further for which I’m grateful. But the word alluring lingers on the air for a beat longer. I finish my food and decide I’m not keen to eat anymore, I already had the smoothie and I think I’m done.

  “I’ve killed the mood again, huh?” I smile warmly in response.

  “No, not at all.”

  “I’m glad this isn’t a first date, what a disaster, huh?” He rests his chin slovenly against his almost fisted knuckles and gives a deliberate sigh. I chuckle under my breath and drop my head leaning forward. He seems nice enough, so very uncharacteristically, I offer my assessment as I lift my head up.

  “Aww, I think you’re doing alright, you seem genuine. I have baggage, it’s hardly your fault.”