by Lily Kay
“Well, you’re lucky I sorta do approve of this boyfriend of yours. Not certain about some of the people he’s keeping company with. See psycho friend number one.”
I tried sitting up but stopped when the room turned fuzzy. “Do you think you could get me some water?”
“Sure thing, butt-munch. Maybe a doctor, too?”
“Can you give me a minute before you get anyone?” I rasped.
“Yeah sure. Then I’m at least calling the nurse.” Jamie exited the room and came back a moment later with a lidded Styrofoam cup.
He handed me the iced water.
“Is he here?” I slurred after relishing how the cool liquid lined my throat. “Gavin?”
“He had class and tutoring, but he’ll be back soon.”
“Oh.” I guess I couldn’t be disappointed. He’d come back, and then we’d talk.
“And Mom and Dad? Do they know? Are they here?” Jamie followed my nod toward the door.
“They know. They went out to get a bite to eat. They’ll be back in about an hour. Unless I call them and let them know you woke up. They can be here in ten minutes.” Jamie reached for his phone and paused.
I gingerly shook my head, hoping for a few more minutes before I encountered my parents.
“Sure thing.” Jamie patted my hand.
“I’m glad you’re here.” I smiled and reached for my water. He grabbed it for me and held the straw up to my mouth.
“Me too, kiddo. Though I didn’t think I’d be playing nursemaid here.”
“Good experience for when you finally get Silvia to date you. Are you still pining for her?”
“I think you’ll like her, if you ever meet her.”
I managed a smile before the woozy kicked in again. “I think I’m going to rest my eyes. S’ok with you?” I mustered.
“No worries. Whatever you want, kiddo.”
I woke up again to the sound of voices. Lots of them. I kept my eyes closed a little longer to eavesdrop.
Gavin spoke with my parents and Jamie. “Well, they have her in custody now. Lou better press charges. God, this is all my fault.”
“I don’t know man, she’s a kid. Sounds like she’ll be better off in a mental hospital than a jail.” My brother waited a moment. “I’m pretty certain this isn’t your fault, unless you were the one holding an adjustable ski pole. Don’t beat yourself up.”
“You said she woke up earlier?” I heard the intensity in Gavin’s voice.
“I did. She sounded semi-lucid,” Jamie responded.
“I wish you would have called us, honey.” My mom’s opinion broke up the exchange between Gavin and Jamie.
“You guys were starving, and she wasn’t going anywhere. I had a nurse check in on her right after she fell asleep. Besides, she’ll be awake here soon enough, and you can talk all you want.”
“I think maybe she should come home.” The sound of my mom’s feet paced past the bed from one direction to the other.
“I think that’s the last thing she wants, Mom.”
Thank you, Jamie. Owe you one. I loved how my parents were here to support me, but I wanted to get back to “normal” as soon as I could.
“I feel terrible, Mr. and Mrs. Tanner. I want you to know I’ll do everything in my power to make sure no one hurts your daughter again.”
“That’s a pretty tall order, son. Don’t blame yourself for this. Like Jamie said, you weren’t the one who hit her,” my dad replied.
And maybe if I kept pretending I slept, they would eventually leave again. I needed a few minutes alone with Gavin without an audience.
I opened my lids and waited a couple seconds for everyone to come into clear view. Gavin stared out the window and Jamie resumed his seat beside me, checking out his phone.
Mom tidied up the room, though it didn’t need tidying. Save for the rearrangement of roses, irises, and daisies garnishing the counters on the side of the room across from where Gavin stood. Too bad they didn’t give me gift cards to the local book store instead of the flowers. Or donate the money to a good cause. At least the flowers were pretty, adding color and aroma to the sterile room.
“Oh, hey. You’re awake.” My dad’s lean frame and graying hair emerged into the room and paused before walking to the side of the bed.
“Hey, Dad,” I muttered, my throat still dry, like I swallowed chalk.
“You feeling okay?” He pushed some fly away hairs away from my eyes.
“My head feels a little groggy and heavy but overall, I’m feeling okay.” My mom, slightly shorter than my dad’s five-eleven, now stood beside him, fiddling with her long blond hair.
“You gave us quite the scare, sweetie. And if you’d like, you’re welcome to recuperate at home with us. I talked to the department chair, and he said you could take incompletes. No problem at all.”
“Ma.” Jamie chastised them. “She can recuperate here. In fact, I think it’s probably better she stays here with her therapist and her friends.” Jamie nodded to Gavin, who stood by the window with his arms crossed.
“Oh. Well.” Mom cleared her throat at his rebuttal. “I suppose. If that’s what you’d like, dear.” She sandwiched my hand with hers before she patted it. “You know you’re always welcome.”
“Thanks, Mom. I appreciate the offer, but I think I’d like to stay if that’s okay.”
“Sure, if that’s what you want.” She continued to pat my hand.
“I see you’ve met my boyfriend?”
“Oh yes. Yes, of course.” In unison, they both gave him a tight-lipped smile. I’ll have to ask Jamie about their introduction. Though in their defense, this was the first person I had ever dated, and his crazy mentee put me in the hospital. I couldn’t blame them for being a little leery.
“You know, his music is going to be in Spielberg’s movie coming out in the spring.” If I name-dropped, maybe they’d cut him a little slack. Besides his lack of communication regarding Shannon, he was a pretty awesome guy. And someone they’d typically be overjoyed if I were dating.
“The one about the crash over the Himalayas? Dude, how’d you land that gig?” Jamie asked.
Gavin leaned against the window, halfway sitting on the ledge behind him. “My advisor from undergrad had worked on the score, and he liked some of the stuff I wrote for my senior project. Spielberg had liked it too. Luck I think.”
“No, not luck. He’s a genius with music. Makes me want to barf sometimes, how talented he is.” I wasn’t going to let him get away with being too modest.
Showing him off to my parents would move him from the “not good enough for our daughter” column into the “potential son-in-law” column. Especially if they were going to feel comfortable leaving me in Newsom, and not force me to recover at home. It’s not like I lost a limb or anything. I’m guessing a little flesh wound and concussion.
“Congratulations, Gavin. Very impressive,” my dad said.
“Thank you, sir.”
“Well.” Jamie slapped his lap and stood up. “I think it’s time for me to get some food and figure out a flight back to California. Mom, Dad. Join me?”
Subtle, Jamie, but appreciated. I wasn’t about to publicly navigate my relationship with Gavin, only to find out he didn’t reciprocate my feelings. Because a perma-scowl etched onto his face, and he remained attached next to the window sill.
“Oh, well, can’t you go on your own dear?” my mom asked. Clearly not taking the hint. Mom mastered the spreadsheet but not so much with interpersonal skills. “Jim, why don’t you help Jamie, and I’ll stay here with Louise.”
“Actually, there’s something I’d like to chat with you guys about, regarding my program and internship. Business stuff.”
“Well, why didn’t you say something earlier? We’ll w
alk with you to the cafeteria.”
“Excellent. Thanks, Mom. And we’ll let the nurses know she’s awake again, and they can finish their examinations. Then we can come back and catch up with Louie.”
Jamie lifted a brow, and I mouthed a thank you to him. When it came to my parents, they were experts when it came to talking business, and Jamie represented their pride and joy, getting his MBA at a top business school in the country.
“You let us know if you need anything by hitting this button, and the nurse will come find us. We’ll be back soon.” My dad scanned the room, making sure this was the correct decision.
“No worries. Go chat with Jamie. Sounds like he’s leaving soon, and I’m not going anywhere. Plenty of time to talk to me later.”
“Okay, dear. We love you, you know.” Mom gave me one final glance, leaving with my dad and brother.
“Yep, love you guys.”
The air stilled after they left the room. I studied Gavin, noting how he remained perched against the window ledge.
“Hey.” I waved my hand back and forth. “Do I smell bad?”
Gavin dropped his head and covered his face. “I thought I lost you. Scared the fucking shit out of me.”
“Well, you didn’t lose me. And you’re still standing far away, which makes me think I’m pretty rank.” I raised my arm and took a whiff. Kinda stale. Not terrible, but not roses either. “How many days have I been here?”
“Four days.”
“Yikes.” My lids weighed heavy, and gravity closed them. “No wonder Jamie flew out to see me.”
“You had us all scared.” I willed my eyes open and watched as Gavin shuffled toward me, taking residence in the chair Jamie occupied earlier.
“You sure you don’t want to rest some more,” he whispered. His breath skimmed below my ear.
My head shook. I didn’t want to sleep again, not when I had Gavin to myself. I forced my eyes open. “Can you tell me what happened?”
I raised my left hand, hoping he would take it. He did, enclosing my hand with both of his.
“I heard you finish practicing and followed you out to give you another kiss goodbye. And I came right as Shannon whacked you on the head. When Tara had told Shannon she’d have a new mentor, she blamed you. In her mind, you had caused the problem. All she had to do was remove you and resume status quo with me.”
“Guess she wasn’t thinking about the whole possibility of going to juvie?” I grunted because my head hurt when I laughed.
“No, she wasn’t. Her parents are finally taking her illness more seriously. She suffered from depression and had threatened suicide, but they didn’t realize the extent of her violence. What do you want to do? I witnessed everything, and there were others there who saw her. Are you wanting to press charges?”
“No. I agree with my brother. She needs therapy. Do I have to press charges to make it happen? I do feel her pain, being bullied and all. I don’t want her to end up lost in the prison system. That’s not going to help her.”
Not surprisingly, I wasn’t itching to grab a bat and beat Shannon into oblivion, because I understood how much pain she felt.
But the fact I wasn’t boiling over with anger? Astonished me too. Whatever painkillers they tube-fed me did a great job of simmering any rage I might have had about getting whacked on the head.
Gavin blew out a deep breath. “That’s something we’ll have to work out with the police and the lawyers and who knows who else. You let me know what you want to do, and I’ll support you. I love you. I hope you know that. And I’ll—”
“Wait. Shut. The. Door.” My mouth extended open. I shifted the angle of my head this time to get a better look at him. “What did you say?”
He grinned, some hair blocking his eye. “I said, you let me know what you want to do, and I’ll support you.”
“Gavin, you’re going to lose a testicle once I get out of here if you don’t answer me.”
“Lou?” His face inches from mine now.
“Hm?”
“I love you. You mean more to me than you could possibly know. I think I fell in love with you when you told me off outside of Groove.”
His confession gave me pause because we both remembered my hideous behavior. “I think we should pretend that day never happened. Not my finest hour.”
“But you were real. You didn’t try and suck up. I respect that. It was one of the many reasons why I fell for you.” He rested his lips gently against mine.
“Well, I love you too, Lord Byron,” I murmured.
“I am way more romantic than Byron.” He placed another careful kiss on the corner of my mouth.
“You keep telling yourself that.” I lamented the wooziness preventing me from having crazy monkey sex in the hospital bed. Plus, there were probably rules about having sex with a person hooked up to lifesaving machines.
His face lingered inches from mine. “I love you and am never letting you out of my sight. You’re going to be stuck with me for an awfully long time, Lou. You good with that?”
“I think I can handle it.” His lips were a whisper on mine, creating a plethora of endorphins to counteract the constant dull throbbing in the back of my skull.
Gavin caressed the side of my head, sweeping my hair away from my forehead. “I think you should move in with me,” he suggested.
“You do? What about Matty, Sierra, and Nick?” I lived with Sierra since freshman year. My friends were my rock. Yet, the idea of living with Gavin ringed true. Where I belonged.
“They’ll survive without you. But I won’t. We can visit though, I promise.”
“And when do you want this move to happen?” Because I’d take the next step with Gavin, fear be damned. He’d stick around, and I finally liberated myself from all my negative stories of abandonment and loss. Stories that insisted I should never risk love for fear of pain.
Time to begin a new story.
“As soon as you say the word.” He grinned, kissing me on my lips. And I smiled back at him. Because while I had a long road of therapy ahead of me from this attack, I had Gavin by my side. Supporting me and loving me. Knowing he supported me brought hope. Life was good. More than good. With Gavin, life bloomed awesome.
Epilogue
One and a half years later.
“Gavin, where are we going?” He told me to pack for nine days, where the weather would be similar to upstate New York: spring and early summer. Not a lot of direction but I hoped wherever it was we were going, I had enough to get by.
We dropped Swanson off at my old place. Emmy, Matt, and Sierra would dog-sit while we were off on our mystery trip. I didn’t move in with Gavin until the end of fall semester. In order to leave less of a burden on my roommates, I stayed until January, when I subleased my room.
Nick told me not to worry but I wasn’t going to leave them paying extra because it was more convenient for me to get laid. Emmy decided she was done with Residential Life, petitioned to move off campus, and took my spot for the start of spring semester.
Since the incident, I strengthened my extremities though I still had minor bouts of dizziness, particularly when I was tired.
We ended up making a plea deal with Shannon and her lawyer. She was required to go inpatient for depression, anxiety, and anger management. She couldn’t contact myself or Gavin again unless we initiated the interaction.
I wasn’t exactly stoked to reunite with her, seeing as she did try to off me outside the music building. But I knew she’d get better.
The place her folks sent her was considered one of the best. They did some cool integration of methods including daily meditation, an all-natural diet, art therapy, neurotherapy, and EMDR. I hoped for her she would be able to figure her shit out. And with the resources available at this swanky place, I had a good feeli
ng she would.
I still had an automatic response to cover my head with my arms anytime I heard a sound from behind. But the reflex happened with less frequency as I continued my therapy sessions with Dr. Liz. I did end up getting angry. Super pissed, especially after how long it took me to recover from the concussion. But my anger subsided, too.
Like I mentioned before, more than anything, I pitied Shannon.
We found a spot in the airport’s long-term parking section and wheeled our suitcases to the entrance and ticket counter.
Gavin devised a way to surprise me of the destination by providing our passports to the airline rep with a note reading something along the lines of, I’m surprising my girlfriend for her college graduation and taking her to some place he wrote down, this is our final destination through this city and please can you not say the city out loud?
The airline attendant played along and squealed. She supplied the tickets and baggage claim tags to Gavin and wished us a wonderful trip. I thanked her.
Gavin worked hard to keep this a secret. We made it through security without an issue and headed to Gate Seven. NEW YORK scrolled in red letters. The destination told me we’d take a commuter to NYC since our airport was a tiny one in the middle of upstate New York. Flying out of NYC meant we could be headed anywhere in the world.
We landed at JFK and trekked our way to the international terminal. Due to some delays back at Newsom Airport, we only had thirty minutes to bust it over to our gate, arriving as they were finishing the boarding process. SEOUL/INCHEON scrolled across the gate entrance.
I stopped and stared.
“We’re going to Korea?”
Gavin shrugged and hid a grin. “Thought it might be nice for you to meet some of my extended family. See where you were born . . .”
Living with Gavin, meeting his family, and learning more about Korea brought on a driving curiosity I hadn’t known existed in me. Gavin’s pride in his cultural roots became contagious, and with him, it was safe for me to explore the part of me I stifled for most of my life.