Memoir in the Making: A May-December Romance

by Adrian J. Smith

  Swallowing, Ainsley nodded in Meredith’s direction. “I’ll go mingle now. It’ll be good for me, I think.”

  “That it will.”

  Ainsley left, trying her best to stay away from the kitchen after that. She didn’t need any more embarrassing moments to pop up and almost confessions to happen. If Meredith was going to quiz her on whether or not she was paying attention in class, then she would have to do it in front of everyone, and that seemed to be something Meredith was avoiding.

  #

  Meredith ushered the last faculty member out the door and shut it, leaning against the cool wood and letting out a breath of relief. She toed off her heels and walked barefoot to her kitchen, hearing the water running in the sink. She narrowed her eyes, sure everyone had left, but when she entered the room and saw Ainsley at her sink, she relaxed.

  Most everyone had taken their pans and plates back home, but she still had quite a few of her own to clean. Picking up in the living room first, she gathered the dishes and set them next to the sink for Ainsley to wash. They worked without speaking, and Meredith found that to her advantage. She waltzed over to her radio and turned the volume up, letting the jazzy tunes echo throughout the finally empty house.

  She moved around the house to the beat of the music and picked up trash as she went, tossing it in the nearest bin she found. Ainsley was still washing dishes when she was done. Slipping into fuzzy slippers, Meredith took out the trash, the music still echoing in her ears. It was nice to have some quiet after the house was filled with chattering voices for so long.

  It was just after midnight, and she was sorely tempted to stop for the night. She wanted to relax and be herself for a while, but with Ainsley there, she couldn’t. While she wanted to stop and relax that meant Ainsley would leave. Meredith bit her lip before she went back inside for the next bag of trash. If Ainsley left, then her night would become far lonelier than it was already turning out to be.

  After moving all the trash to the bins outside, Meredith started to put her living room back in order. The sink was no longer running, so she figured Ainsley was done with the dishes. She took down a few of the extra folding tables she’d put up and went to her office to grab some of the items for the other tables she had stored there. She set a vase back on the end table and turned around, running right into Ainsley.

  “Hey,” Meredith said, her heart in her throat. “I didn’t hear you.”

  Ainsley smiled. “I finished dishes and put away most of the stuff in the kitchen—at least the stuff I could find where it went.”

  “Thank you so much for helping out tonight. You really didn’t need to.”

  “I wanted to.” Ainsley smiled and walked toward the door.

  Meredith followed, sure Ainsley was leaving. She would finish putting her house back together the next morning, and maybe skip over to the parade for a bit. Sam would surely want some of the swag they gave out, and she owed him tremendously for more than she could ever admit.

  She looked down at Ainsley’s feet before locking gazes with her. “I hope you have fun tomorrow.”

  “I will.” Ainsley grinned. “Pride parade is always a blast.”

  “It certainly is,” Meredith muttered.

  Ainsley grabbed her jacket from the hook and swung it over her shoulders and arms. She buttoned it up and was just about to tie it, but Meredith stuck her hand out and stopped her. Instead of saying something or letting go like she intended, Meredith kept her fingers on Ainsley’s. She rubbed her thumb against the back of Ainsley’s hand, reveling in how soft her skin was.

  Everything slowed down. Meredith felt her chest rise and fall with each breath and heard Ainsley’s in response. Her heart thrummed along in her chest, and she licked her lips as they were dry. Meredith finally raised her gaze and looked at Ainsley, a blush on Ainsley’s cheeks.

  “I could get fired for this, you know.”

  “I know.”

  Meredith’s breathing quickened. She wasn’t quite sure what to say anymore. Words had escaped her for the first time in her long life, and she was at a loss. Ainsley reached up, cupping Meredith’s chin and forcing their faces closer.

  “I don’t care,” Meredith murmured before their lips pressed together.

  Stepping in closer, Meredith wrapped her arm around Ainsley’s waist and brought their bodies together. All thoughts left her as she focused only on the feel of Ainsley’s mouth against hers. She was so soft Meredith was afraid of breaking her. Ainsley shuffled forward, forcing Meredith to take a step back. She didn’t know where they were going, and she didn’t care.

  Meredith closed her eyes and listened only to the sensations floating through her. It was what fed her and made her want more. She skimmed her hand up Ainsley’s back and tangled her fingers in the hair at the back of Ainsley’s neck. Her hair was just as soft as Meredith had imagined it would be. Pulling out the hair tie, she let the rest of it fall down Ainsley’s back.

  Her right hand moved around to Ainsley’s front, sliding up her stomach and over her breast. Meredith gave her a gentle squeeze before finding the closest button and pulling it through the loops. Ainsley made her take another step backward, and she moaned when she was pressed against the door. Curling her arm up and around Ainsley, Meredith held on and savored the feel of their tongues as they entwined together.

  Ainsley’s hand on her hip guided her until she was crushed against the door. She had no power, and she loved it. Meredith moaned and nipped at Ainsley’s lip. She worked her hand up and under Ainsley’s shirt until she touched hot skin. God, this feels glorious, she thought, opening her eyes and staring into Ainsley’s dark brown ones.

  “Don’t stop,” Meredith whispered. “It feels so good.”

  A noise escaped Ainsley’s throat and spurred Meredith on. She tugged Ainsley even closer, their breasts touching through the fabric of their clothes, and each time Ainsley took in a deep breath, her chest rose and fell to match Meredith’s.

  She had to stop. The thought smacked Meredith squarely in the face, but she ignored it, slowing her kisses and touches until she could speak clearly. Leaning forward and pressing a kiss to Ainsley’s neck, she rested her forehead on her shoulder. Each of them breathed heavily. Everything in Meredith’s body was on fire and telling her to drag Ainsley down the hallway and never look back. But she had to look back. She closed her eyes, battling with herself.

  It had felt so good. Surely something that good couldn’t be wrong. The kiss hadn’t just been good physically; she finally felt close to someone, had a connection with someone. She was no longer lonely. Stroking her fingers through Ainsley’s hair, Meredith sighed. She pulled back and kissed Ainsley gently and then shook her head.

  “You should go now. You’ll need to rest up for tomorrow.”

  Ainsley didn’t say anything in response. Meredith was glad. She squeezed Ainsley’s fingers and slid from between Ainsley and the door.

  “Come along, nothing bad now. I just need some time to figure this all out before…before we go any further.”

  “But there’s still a further?” Ainsley looked up at her with water in her eyes. Meredith’s heart clenched, and she realized it might be the first time Ainsley had ever been pushed away. She might seem so mature, but she was still so very young.

  Tilting in, Meredith kissed her again. She lingered but not for as long as she wanted to. Her hands fisted at Ainsley’s sides, bunching the material of her shirt as her tongue dashed out for another taste. Stepping away from Ainsley, Meredith straightened her shoulders.

  “I really hope there’s a further. I like you, Ainsley. I appreciate your presence more than you could understand, and you just make me feel again. It’s been so long since I’ve felt something like what I feel for you. You have to know and understand that. But I will lose my job if we continue this—so I need to think before we go any further.”

  “I understand,” Ainsley said and grinned. “I was trying to step back, give you room—”

  “Didn’
t work.” Meredith grinned and laughed. “And I don’t think I wanted it to. Please, don’t be afraid to come back.”

  She grabbed Ainsley’s hand and squeezed her fingers lightly before leaning in to press and gentle kiss to her cheek.

  “I want you to come back,” Meredith whispered.

  Ainsley nodded, buttoned up her jacket and left the house. Meredith locked the door and shut the lights and radio off as she sauntered to her bedroom with thoughts of Ainsley on her mind.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Ainsley was ready to go by six-thirty the next morning. She hadn’t slept much, but when she had, her dreams had been filled with Meredith, and for the first time since meeting her professor, she hadn’t felt even a twinge of guilt about it. She was bursting with energy when she leaned over the bathroom sink and painted her face with beautiful colors.

  She’d compromised with Adam. Instead of wearing a mask, she was painting her face. That way for anyone to recognize her they would have to really look. He still hadn’t been too thrilled with the idea, but she knew he would change his mind once he saw the colors on her cheeks. Ainsley bounced in her socks and gyrated her hips to the songs floating from her phone on the counter top.

  She was happy. Pure and simple. And it was a perfect way to begin her day and her weekend. Smiling at herself in the mirror, Ainsley curved one of the lines by her right up eye and let it disappear in her hairline. She wanted to blend into the crazies at the parade and still be able to have fun. Ainsley finished the rainbow along her cheek and checked everything over in the mirror.

  “Yup,” she said. “Adam’s gonna love it.”

  Laughing to herself, she cleaned up her mess and then walked back to her room, already dressed. All she had to do was wait for Adam to pick her up. Glancing at her clock, she knew it would be awhile before he showed up. Laying on her back, still listening to her music, Ainsley stared up at the ceiling remembering everything that had happened the previous night. It had been a perfect way to end it, and she absolutely understood Meredith’s reasoning behind waiting a bit longer. They did, after all, barely know each other.

  Ainsley sighed and looked at the clock on her nightstand. It was almost seven. He should be there any minute. Ainsley got out of bed and went to the kitchen, grabbing a Pop -Tart from the cupboard and eating it before he came. She got a text to let her know he was there. Leaving the house as quietly as possible, Ainsley jumped in his car ready for the day to be started.

  The parade went by quickly and was over just before noon. The only bad part about being in it was Ainsley didn’t get to see the rest of the floats. Her favorite was the nuns in drag. Running up to them at the end, she introduced herself and took a proffered beer. Adam was finishing the cleaning up of their equipment and putting it into his car, but she wanted to meet the nuns before they left.

  Ainsley was bouncing giddily as she wandered from one end of the staging area to the next. She would have to go through it again with Adam, but she knew it would be the best day to follow up her previous evening. Adam arrived after thirty minutes, and Ainsley was already working on her second beer. It was barely noon, and while she loved to drink and party, it was early even for her—especially with only a Pop-Tart to counteract the effects of the alcohol.

  When he arrived, she looped her arm with his and walked down the staging area quickly. “I need some food first. Then I promise we’ll look at the goods.”

  Adam nodded. “I agree. My stomach has been yelling for the last hour. Food first—sex things later.”

  Ainsley giggled and sipped down her next beer. “You need booze too.”

  “I have to drive.”

  “One or two isn’t going to kill you if we’re going to be here all afternoon. You’ll definitely have time to sober up before driving.”

  Adam shrugged but didn’t give her an answer, and Ainsley didn’t press for one. He’d drink if he wanted to drink, and she wasn’t bound and determined to make him do something he didn’t want to. She skipped to the line with the barbecue and looked over her shoulder at Adam.

  “It sounds really good.”

  “Sure,” he answered, his tone down.

  Ainsley narrowed her eyes, looking at him with curiosity. Then she shook her head and shuffled her foot, looking down when she rolled her eyes so he wouldn’t see. “You and Cody broke up, didn’t you?”

  “Last night,” he muttered.

  “You knew it was going to happen,” she said.

  “I thought this time was different.”

  “You think every time is different, and be honest, you know you’re both just in it for the sex.”

  Anger crept into Ainsley, and she tried to push it back, but at the same time she didn’t want to. She’d been through the whole shebang with Adam and Cody so many times she was tired of it. She didn’t want to have to deal with him being morose for days on end for no reason because they had broken up from a relationship that was mutually not serious. Whether or not Adam wanted to believe that; it’s what it was.

  “We were not in it just for the sex.”

  “Sure. So when he takes care of you when something bad happens, let me know.”

  “What is with you today?” Adam accused. “You’re all judgmental.”

  “I’m tired of it. Really tired of it, Adam. I’m judgmental because I have reason to be. I can’t even count how many times we’ve been through this together, and frankly, it’s not going to change if you keep doing it. It’s just who you and he are together—sex only, no relationship. So suck it up, deal with it, and if you want a fucking relationship, go find someone else to be in one with. There are plenty, and I mean plenty, of single guys and gals here for you. Have your pick.”

  Ainsley turned to the window and ordered her food without breaking stride. She handed over the money, grabbed her food and another beer at the next booth and then went to sit at the first empty table she could find. Adam was left in her wake, and she was glad he hadn’t tried to talk to her after her outburst.

  She was halfway through eating her pulled pork sandwich when Adam joined her. He sat down at the tiny table, saying nothing and eating his own food. If he was going to pull the silent treatment on her for the entire day, she would just leave him alone and find her own ride home. She was on too much of a high to have him bring her down. Ainsley finished her meal, grabbed her fourth beer of the hour and chugged it down. Leaning back in the chair she was once again sitting across from Adam, she grinned at him.

  “Still mad?”

  “A bit.”

  “Well give it up,” she slurred. “I’m happy, and you need to be happy too.”

  “What are you so happy about?” he asked, moving his food around his plate.

  He still hadn’t had a lick of alcohol, and while Ainsley wanted him to join her in her buzzed little world, she wouldn’t ask him to. She sipped from the plastic cup and stared him down. When he finally looked up at her, she rolled her eyes.

  “You haven’t even asked me about last night.”

  “Last night?”

  “Oh my God. You’re so self-centered some times. Last night I went to the Hot One’s house.” She giggled at their nickname and drank some more.

  “Oh yeah. How’d that go?”

  “Excellent,” she said and lifted her cup to her lips with a flourish.

  “What does that mean?”

  Ainsley giggled again and set her cup down. “It means we had a great make out session, figured some things out, and that I’m one happy girl right now.”

  “You did what?”

  “You heard me.”

  “Ainsley—she’ll get fired.”

  “We know. It was her decision, not mine.”

  “Did you do anything else?”

  “No.”

  “So you’re grinning like an asshole because of a make out session?”

  “Yes.”

  “You’re weird.”

  “Thank you,” she said and finished off her drink. “Now—let’s go look
at some of this swag and maybe find you a new toy for a few weeks or a month. You’re never very good at the relationship thing. You know that, right? We’ll have to fix that eventually—but you’re young.”

  “Thanks for the advice,” Adam said sardonically. “I think you should be done drinking for the afternoon.”

  “What?”

  “You’re drunk.”

  “Drunk and happy!” Ainsley stood up and grabbed his hand, tugging him in the direction of the beer station. She wanted at least one more before they checked out all the booths the parade had to offer in the staging area. The band was already playing, and the closer they got to it the harder time Ainsley had hearing anything other than them.

  She led Adam by his hand to the first booth and picked up what looked like a penis Popsicle. Laughing, she handed it to Adam without saying anything. He rolled his eyes and popped it in his mouth. Good, she thought. Now we’re ready to have a good time.

  #

  Meredith walked along the booths in jeans and a sweater she’d had to pull from the back of her closet. It wasn’t her usual fare, but neither was the Pride Parade. She’d watched from the sidelines, loving each group as they walked by. She’d caught sight of Ainsley, her face all done up, as she walked with the rest of the Crossroads crew. They probably didn’t even know by then, but she had been crucial in setting the group up and allowing them to be on campus.

  She was glad to see they were still a functioning group and still participated in yearly events in the area. Walking along the throngs of people, she looked over the booths and what they had to offer. They were close to the same thing every year, and she knew Sam would want certain items. Pulling out her wallet, Meredith bought him a shirt that made her chuckle.

  The food smells and the band were awful and made her stomach churn. Both of them combined was not what she wanted to be thinking about that morning. What she wanted to do was find Ainsley and drag her down some back alley for a quickie before disappearing to Sam’s for the afternoon and evening. The thought caused her to smile, and she moved on to the next booth.