A Nest of Sparrows

by Deborah Raney

  “Okay, here it is,” the girl said, clicking a button on the mouse. She ran her finger down the screen, then looked up. “You’re Wade? Sullivan?”

  “That’s right.”

  She tilted her head to one side and gave him a look he couldn’t quite read. “Did you know there’s a life insurance policy on this account, along with the comprehensive on the vehicle?”

  “Life insurance?”

  “Yes. With a fifty-thousand-dollar benefit.”

  His mind raced. Fifty thousand dollars? Why would Starr have bought life insurance when she already had a policy at the nursing home? “When…when was that policy added?”

  The girl scrolled down the page. “It looks like it was part of the original policy we wrote. With a term life policy like this added with the auto, it was only eleven or twelve dollars a month. A pretty good deal, really.” Her lips suddenly welded into a tight line, and she looked down, fiddling with a stack of papers on the desk, as though she’d just realized how insensitive her remark was. “So…um…do you still want to cancel the policy on the vehicle? Either way, we can fill out a statement of death certificate, and that check will be issued in a couple of weeks.

  “Who is the beneficiary?”

  “You’re Wade Sullivan, right?” she asked again.

  He nodded.

  She looked back at the computer screen. “Well, it says here it’s you.”

  Dee sat in front of Betty Graffe’s desk, absently unraveling a loose thread from her cardigan. She usually brought a sweater whenever she visited the SRS office because they kept the air conditioning turned so low, but it had suddenly grown very warm in Betty’s office.

  “I’m not making an accusation, Dee,” Betty said, tapping her pencil on the desktop, obviously as uncomfortable with the conversation as Dee was. “I just want to give you a chance to talk about this if you need to.”

  Dee floundered for a response. Betty might say this wasn’t an accusation, but Dee could not make the words the social worker had flung at her a few minutes ago into anything else. “There’s only one place this could have come from,” she said finally.

  Betty remained silent.

  Dee sighed. Heat crept to her cheeks. “Betty, I can only assume you got this from Clay Two Feathers.”

  “I promised I would keep it confidential, Dee.”

  But Betty showed no surprise at Clay’s name, which told Dee all she needed to know.

  She felt her embarrassment drain away, to be replaced by anger. “First of all”––she struggled to unclench her jaw––“you need to know that Clay has been trying to get me to go out with him practically since the day he started work at St. Joe’s.”

  Betty gave a thin smile. “There isn’t anything in our code of ethics that says you can’t date a co-worker, Dee.”

  “That’s not the point!” Dee gripped the arms of the chair and forced her voice down an octave. She silently counted to five. “I’m just saying that Clay obviously has ulterior motives for reporting me for something like this.”

  “He didn’t report you for anything, Dee. He’s just concern––”

  “So it was Clay.”

  Betty’s face flushed deep crimson. She sighed and closed her eyes briefly. “He’s concerned, that’s all. And rightly so, if what he told me is true.”

  “What exactly did he tell you?”

  “Dee, please don’t be angry with Clay. I…I hope you won’t say anything to him about this. I didn’t mean to break his confidence.”

  “What exactly did he say?”

  Betty folded a corner of her desk calendar back and forth until it tore off. “He…he’s just concerned that you’ve become overly involved with Wade Sullivan. That you’ve struck up a friendship with him that goes beyond what’s acceptable. He feels perhaps you can’t be objective in this case anymore.”

  Dee stared at Betty. “Is he going to ask to…have someone else assigned to the case?”

  “I told you, Dee. He was just voicing his concern. He would have gone straight to Jeff Russell if he really thought you needed to be off the case. I just think he was afraid you wouldn’t listen to him if he approached you about it. Possibly because of what you said…about his attraction for you.”

  Dee’s heartbeat galloped and yet she felt numb. “Betty, I’m not going to sit here and tell you I don’t like Wade Sullivan. He’s a nice guy, and I do enjoy my visits out there with the kids. But we have no… relationship. We’ve never seen each other outside of work. We’ve maintained a very…a good working relationship and nothing more.”

  “He’s never acted improperly toward you?”

  “Never.” She grimaced at the implication. “He has never been anything but a perfect gentleman. And he’s a wonderful father. And frankly, if I was making the decision, I’d give those kids to him tomorrow. I think the only thing he was guilty of in the first place was having a broken heart and being a little inexperienced at being a father.”

  Betty leaned forward, elbows on the desk, a knowing look in her eyes. “It sounds to me like you know him pretty well.”

  Dee looked away.

  “And what about Darrin Parnell?” Betty pressed. “Why would you give the kids to Wade first. Is Darrin not a fit parent?”

  Dee hesitated. “I’m not saying that. I just––It’s obvious the kids are happier with Wade. That they see him as their father. Not Darrin. Darrin Parnell just does not connect with them. I think…he tries. But there’s nothing there. And the kids know it.”

  “That doesn’t sound like a very objective evaluation, Dee.”

  “Betty… I’m not saying that’s what I’d recommend. I’m just saying if I were the judge, knowing what I know now––” She cut off her words, feeling she was digging herself into a hole.

  The older woman clasped her hands in front of her and studied Dee. “Unfortunately, you know as well as I do this judge is not going to see it that way.”

  Dee sighed. “I know… And it just makes me sick.”

  Betty tipped her head to one side. “Well, we just won’t recommend for one or the other. This is a hard call to make. It would be…regardless.”

  “I’m trying to be objective, Betty. I…think I am being objective.”

  “It’ll be okay, Dee…” She let out a long sigh and shook her head. “But you’ll go crazy if you let yourself get too involved. You know that. This is a rip-your-heart-out business, and if you let stuff like this get to you, you’ll burn out so fast your head will spin. I’ve been here twenty years. I know what I’m talking about.”

  Dee recognized genuine kindness in Betty’s eyes, and in her gentle smile. She nodded her understanding. Betty was right, of course. Even if her warning was too late.

  But Clay had no right to discuss this issue with Betty Graffe. This was none of his business. Anger welled up in Dee again, even as she realized it was her own fault for confiding in Clay. She loved the guy like a brother, but he’d blown it this time. And she intended to let him know it in no uncertain terms.

  She pushed back her chair. “Thanks, Betty. I know Clay meant well, but I think he had ulterior motives in talking to you. And…well, this is between him and me.”

  “I understand.” She dipped her head. “I didn’t know about…well…about him having a thing for you.”

  “No, and I’m sure he didn’t bother to tell you, did he?”

  Betty shook her head and gave a little laugh. “No, he didn’t.”

  “Don’t worry, Betty. I’m not going to let this get to me. I love my job. I’m not going to do anything to jeopardize it.”

  “That’s good.”

  Dee looked pointedly at her watch. “Oh! I need to go,” she said. She waved and hurried from the office, letting Betty think she was late for an appointment. And in truth, she was. An appointment to give Clay Two Feathers a piece of her mind.

  Dee was still fuming when she pulled into the parking lot of St. Joseph’s ten minutes later. As luck would have it, Clay was pulling in at th
e same time. Ordinarily, she would have raced him for the only shady space, but today she ignored the goofy smirk he gave her as he raced ahead of her, revving his engine. She parked on the other side of the lot and got out of the car.

  “I win. Again,” he hollered back across the parking lot. He turned and grinned, waiting for her to catch up.

  She didn’t respond and hurried past him, suddenly afraid of what she might say.

  “Hey?” She heard him behind her, jogging to catch up. “You having a bad day or something?”

  When she felt Clay’s hand on her shoulder, she whirled around and glared at him. “Yes, I am having a bad day, thank you very much.”

  “What happened?”

  The compassion in his voice that usually touched her brought her temperature to boiling today. “As if you don’t know.”

  He drew back, a question in the exaggerated knit of his brows.

  “I just got back from talking to Betty Graffe.”

  Clay glanced away for a fraction of a second. “Oh?”

  “Don’t ‘oh’ me, Clay Two Feathers.” She ground out his surname as though it were a curse word.

  Clay winced.

  “I hope you’re proud of yourself.”

  His gaze bored a hole in the asphalt. “So…what did she say?”

  “I’m not going to stand here and give you a play-by-play of all the gory details, but I––” A sob worked its way up her throat. She clenched her teeth and swallowed it back. “Why did you go to Betty, Clay? Why didn’t you come to me first?”

  His head jerked up. “I did come to you first,” he practically hissed. “I told you I thought you were on thin ice with this Wade character. I told you I was worried about you. And if––”

  “For your information, I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself. And I’ll thank you to stay out of my personal business from now on.”

  He tucked his hands in the pocket of his jeans. “Dee, you asked my opinion. I gave it to you.”

  Dee remembered that night at the Sonic Drive-in. Though she couldn’t recall exactly how the conversation had gone, she was afraid Clay was right. “Even if I did,” she said lamely, “that doesn’t give you the right to go blabbing to Betty. What I told you was in confidence.”

  “Yeah, and I thought what I said to Betty was in confidence,” he said under his breath. “So much for that idea.”

  She narrowed her eyes at him. “Betty didn’t tell me it was you. I guessed. Who else would it have been?”

  He shook his head. “I’m sorry, Dee, but I had to talk to somebody.”

  “Why? What does it matter to you, even if what you told Betty is true?”

  “What did she say I said,” he asked, wiping the sweat from under his beaded headband with the back of his hand. “It’s too hot to stand here. Do you want to go somewhere?”

  She turned her wrist over and looked at her watch. “I can’t. I have a meeting in fifteen minutes.” She started for the building. “I don’t know what there is to talk about.”

  He caught up with her, then hurried ahead, walking backward, facing her as he spoke. “Dee, let me take you to dinner tonight. Nothing fancy. Not a date. Just…let’s talk this out. I don’t want you to be mad at me. I want to explain why I went to Betty.”

  She stopped a few feet from the back entrance. He did likewise. She stared past him, thinking.

  “Please, Dee?”

  She hesitated. “Not dinner.” She didn’t want to give him any excuse to think she was warming to the idea of a date with him. “But if you want to go walking with me tonight we can talk. Be on my front porch at eight o’clock.” She glanced at her watch again. “I really have to go.”

  “Okay. I’ll see you at eight.”

  She stepped around him and went into the building. She closed the door and turned to look out the window. Clay was still standing where she’d left him.

  Chapter 36

  Clay’s old Chevy pulled up to the curb at exactly eight o’clock. From her kitchen window, Dee watched him get out of the car, then ran outside before he could ring the doorbell.

  When he saw her, he dipped his chin and held a hand half-mast, looking terrified that she might bite his head off.

  Poor guy. He had no way of knowing she’d cooled off considerably since her diatribe this afternoon. She crossed the lawn but stopped halfway to the curb, flashing him a half smile. “Do you need to go potty or anything before we go?”

  A slow grin came to his face, and he wagged his head, making the feathers in his headband bob. “I…uh…went before I left home, thank you very much. You’ve obviously been in the company of a few too many little kids today.”

  She grinned back. “True. So I’m ready for some adult company. Think you can handle that?”

  He drew back and held his palms out in mock surrender. “Hey, I’m not the one who stomped off in a huff this afternoon.”

  She led the way, and they headed down the street at a brisk pace. “I guess maybe I was a little over the top. I’m sorry, Clay. But I…I don’t think you should have talked to Betty.”

  “I didn’t know who else to talk to, Dee. You ought to just be glad I didn’t go to Jeff and ask him to take you off the case.”

  She shuddered to think of him talking to her supervisor. “Why did you have to talk to anybody?”

  “Because I’m worried about you.” He glanced at her from the corner of his eye. “I don’t think you realize how…involved you are, Dee.”

  “What do you mean by that?” She picked up her pace.

  He matched it without missing a beat. “Dee, I see how you look when you come to the office on Tuesday mornings after your visits out there.”

  She didn’t dare pretend not to know where “out there” was. “How I look?”

  “You know,” he said, “all happy and bubbly with this certain glow on your face.”

  “Hey, they’re adorable kids.”

  He let out a short harrumph. “It’s not the kids, Dee. And I think you know it.”

  She skidded to a halt in the middle of the road. Clay had to jog back a few steps to meet her. When he did, she propped her hands on her hips and glared at him. “Okay. I’m going to lay it on the line here. Yes, without meaning to, Wade Sullivan and I have become friends. And yes, I like him a lot. Maybe more than I should, and maybe in a way I shouldn’t. But I have done absolutely nothing to act on that fact. And neither has he. And I have no intention of jeopardizing my job by doing so––now or in the near future.”

  She turned and took off walking again, wishing she hadn’t added that “in the near future” line. She couldn’t imagine what the coming days might hold for her, but she felt a wave of profound sadness whenever she realized how slim the chance was that Wade might be a part of her future. More and more, she found herself praying that he would.

  Clay caught up and fell into step with her. “Dee, don’t you think it would be best if you let someone else take this case? Just so there’s no question.”

  She had actually entertained that possibility recently, though not for the same reasons Clay was probably thinking. He merely wanted her away from Wade. But she had started to feel she needed to remove herself from any temptation where Wade was concerned. As much as she longed for an even deeper friendship with Wade, what she’d told Clay was true––she didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize the job she loved.

  “I considered that, Clay. I honestly did. But the final hearing is just a couple weeks away. It will be a moot point after that.”

  She wanted to cry every time she thought about it. Partly because she felt in her heart that Wade would lose the children. But mostly because, one way or another, the judge’s decision would mean an end to the precious hours she spent with Wade and the kids.

  Clay wiped his brow with the tail of his T-shirt. “Dee…I don’t know how recently you’ve reviewed the Code of Ethics, but you might want to glance over the section on unprofessional conduct. This isn’t just an ethical issue. There are
legal ramifications for this kind of thing.”

  Her breath caught. “What do you mean?”

  “I’d never really had reason to look it up before, but there are strict regulations about dual relationships with clients and they’re––”

  “You looked it up?” Was he actually considering filing a report against her?

  Even in the dim evening light, she could see him flush.

  “I was just curious.”

  “Yeah, right.”

  “Well, I didn’t see you bothering to check it out. Do you know the law prohibits you to have any type of dual relationship with a client––and certainly not a sexual one––for a full twenty-four months after the client-professional relationship ends?”

  She stopped in the street again, turning toward him in anger. “Clay. How many times do I have to tell you: there is no relationship. He’s never so much as touched me.” That wasn’t quite true, but in essence it was. Wade had been a perfect gentleman.

  “Okay, okay,” Clay said. “I just want to be sure you’re not getting in over your head.”

  She took off walking again, but what Clay had told her shook her to the core. She hadn’t realized there were such strict rules in place. She’d never dreamed she’d be faced with such a question. She filed the information away in the back of her mind to deal with later.

  “So what kind of recommendation are you making in this case?”

  She sighed. “I don’t know yet. I…even now there’s that still, small voice––” She sensed him bristle beside her. “I know, I know…you don’t put any stock in that. I do. And something just tells me these kids belong with Wade Sullivan. But there’s not one logical thing I can say against their father. And if you have a problem with the still, small voice thing, you can imagine how that reasoning would go over with a judge.”