Fusion (Explosive #5)

by Tessa Teevan

  “Jeremy’s right. And I’m not one to mess with tradition. We’ve been doing it for years. If I change it up now, I’ll probably end up failing all my classes or something.”

  Tradition. But what I’d heard was obligation.

  Jenna was shaking her head at me, and I just turned my gaze to the ocean, trying to tune everyone else out. Sierra and Danny were making plans so I stepped away from them and sat back down on my towel, hoping my face wasn’t reflecting the way I felt.

  “What’s with the face?”

  So much for that hope. Someone plopped down in the sand next to me, and I nearly groaned when I saw Heather sitting there.

  Don’t get me wrong. Heather Perkinson was one of the prettiest girls in our school. She was friendly and intelligent, and she didn’t have a reputation for getting around. Any guy would have been lucky to have her attention, but I didn’t want it.

  And when Danny and Sierra left the group and started walking down the beach, I nearly went for what Heather had been offering all summer. Sierra clearly wasn’t interested, so why should I have kept holding out for her? It would’ve been so easy to ask Heather out, hoping that she’d be a good distraction until I could get my head on straight.

  But, as soon as I had the thought, I shook it away. I wasn’t that guy. I wouldn’t play those games. I’d wait Sierra out, and as soon as she was ready, I’d tell her how I felt. Flirting with other girls in the meantime would only push her further away.

  Heather’s hand landed on my arm, and that’s when Sierra turned back and looked at me. And then at the hand touching me. I could’ve sworn that her lips curved down into a frown, and her eyes darkened for a split second as she glanced back and forth between Heather and me. Just as I was about to pull my arm away from Heather, Danny leaned down and whispered something into Sierra’s ear. She nodded, and with one last small smile in my direction, she tore her gaze from me and focused all of her attention on him.

  “Jer…” Jenna’s voice pulled me out of the trance I’d been in.

  I glanced up to see a frown on her face.

  “It’ll all work out.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t think so, Jenna. Not this time. You were right. I was an idiot, and I was too late.”

  She started to protest, but I put on my sunglasses and smiled so no one would know how much I was dying inside at the idea of Sierra dating anyone who wasn’t me.

  “So, who has the booze?”

  “Are you seriously going out with Danny Moyer?” Jeremy sounded incredulous, and I tried not to take offense that he sounded so surprised that the star senior quarterback was interested in me.

  Jeremy’s mom had just dropped us off at The Breeze, the closest movie theater to us. Like Jeremy had told Danny, every year, we had gone to the movies the night before school started. Since I’d made Jeremy see Can’t Hardly Wait (holy swoon, Ethan Embry!) last year, it was his turn to choose. We were going to see something called The Sixth Sense, and I had no idea what I was in for.

  We’d just settled into our seats when he’d turned to me and asked about Danny. I wasn’t all that into the guy, but when he’d asked me out, I’d wanted to say yes. I didn’t regret it, nor was I particularly excited. I just had to do something to keep Jeremy off my mind.

  I shrugged as I popped a Junior Mint into my mouth. “Why not? Jenna says I need to put myself out there. I’m fifteen years old and I’ve never been on a single date. Don’t you think it’s time I do that?”

  He frowned. “Why? What does age have to do with anything? I’m about to turn sixteen and I’ve never been on a date, either. You don’t see me saying yes to the first girl who asks me.”

  I raised an eyebrow at him. We both know he’d been asked out many times.

  “Yeah, well, what about Heather? I heard you two got pretty close this summer.”

  His eyes widened, and he swallowed hard. He opened his mouth to answer, but the lights went down and the screen flickered.

  I guessed that was that.

  I wish I could say that our hands brushed in the popcorn tub or our thighs touched as we sat next to each other. But that would be a lie. In truth, we both moved to the opposite edges of our seats. It was uncomfortable until creepy stuff started happening on the screen and I leaned over, gripping his biceps for dear life.

  “You didn’t tell me this was a scary movie,” I hissed.

  He grinned down at me, his eyes full of amusement. And then he did the unthinkable. He closed the distance between us and kissed my forehead.

  “Don’t worry, Sierra. I’ll protect you.”

  My skin tingled where his lips had been. He turned back to the screen, and the rest of the movie passed in a blur. I remained attached to his arm the entire time. Ghosts freaked the hell out of me, and I knew I would have trouble sleeping that night.

  When the credits rolled and the lights came on, my fingers were white with how tight I’d been clutching him. He tried prying my hands off him, but it was no use. My grip was like a steel vise and nothing could tear me away.

  “Damn, Sierra. If I’d known it would take a scary movie to get you to feel my muscles up, I’d have made you watch a Friday the 13th or The Exorcist a long time ago.”

  Okay, so maybe nothing could tear me away except that. My hands unlocked and I jumped up, looking down at him accusingly.

  “I was not feeling you up!” I protested.

  He chuckled as we rose and made our way out of the theater.

  “You know how I feel about ghosts. Add in a creepy little kid and I’m done.”

  His laughter was infectious as we got into my mom’s van, and informing Mom of my fears, causing her to laugh at my torment right along with him. I crossed my arms and huffed, ignoring both of them the whole way home. I was still scowling at him when we said our goodnights.

  When I climbed into my bed, all I could see were the eerie ghosts. I was thoroughly freaked out, and the last thing I wanted was a sleepless night right before the first day of school. Next year, I was going to make Jeremy watch the cheesiest love fest ever.

  Tink. Tink. Tink.

  I pulled the covers over my head, squeezed my eyes shut, and started saying a bunch of Hail Marys. Or, well, what I thought were Hail Marys.

  Tink. Tink. Tink.

  Then a louder knock sounded and I realized it was coming from my window. That could only mean one thing. At least, I hoped it did. With hopeful trepidation, I slipped out of bed, peered out my window, and found Jeremy standing there. I quickly lifted the window.

  “What are you doing?” I asked in a hushed tone, hoping not to wake my parents.

  He held one had behind his back and ran the other through his messy hair. “Couldn’t sleep. And I felt bad that I made you watch a scary movie late at night. So I brought this over. Thought we could watch it.”

  He held up a copy of The Fox and the Hound. I tried hard not to smile, but it was no use. I already was. So, without hesitation, I pushed the window up farther and stood back so he could climb in. Then I took the movie and put it in before settling next to him on the bed. He was already comfortable in just basketball shorts and a T-shirt.

  “You have to be quiet,” I warned him, nodding towards my locked door. “I’ll get in so much trouble if they find you in here this late at night.”

  He scoffed. “Your parents love me.”

  “My parents love you during the daylight and not in their little girl’s bed with the door locked.”

  He sat up and frowned at me. “I can leave if you want…” he said, trailing off and not sounding all that thrilled at the idea.

  “No, it’s fine. I’m glad you’re here. I was getting a little freaked out, so this will definitely help.”

  He grinned wickedly, and I instantly knew what he was thinking.

  “You’re going to whisper about seeing dead people all the time now, aren’t you?” I groaned.

  “Only when you least expect it,” he teased, his fingers finding my hair. “Now, be quiet and
watch the movie.”

  I rolled my eyes but did just that. I had to admit it did make me feel better, and I quickly forgot all about Bruce Willis and that creepy little kid. By the end of the movie, I was feeling more weepy than scared, and that’s when a drop of moisture hit my cheek.

  What the heck?

  I looked up to see a wet trail running down Jeremy’s cheek. He was blinking rapidly, as if he were trying to get something out of his eye. I shifted until I was resting my arm on his chest and peering up into his eyes.

  Eyes that were looking everywhere in the room except at me.

  “Jeremy?” I whispered, but I got no response. “Oh my gosh. Are you…are you crying?”

  He sniffled in answer. After unsuccessfully trying to muffle my giggles, I heard a low growl and found myself flipped onto my back with Jeremy hovering over me. His face was illuminated by the glow of the television, and my breath hitched as I reached up and wiped the droplets off his cheek. It was entirely too endearing to see how the movie still affected him after we’d watched it five hundred times over the last seven years.

  “It’s not funny, Sierra,” he whisper-hissed. The outrage on his face melted my insides. “How could she let Tod go like that? It’s so unfair. I don’t care if he was technically a fox—he was still a domesticated animal, for Christ’s sake! He shouldn’t have been allowed in the wild by himself! There are too many predators out there, and he won’t be able to fend for himself.”

  He had this argument every time we watched the movie. Not that I could blame him. It seemed cruel that Tod had been forced to be separated from the only family he’d ever known—and his best friend.

  “I think Tod was okay in the end,” I told Jeremy, smiling up at him. “He and Copper will always have their memories, and even if they’re apart, in their hearts, they’ll always be the best of friends. No matter what.”

  “It still sucks. I don’t want to call you Tod anymore,” he grumbled adorably.

  I laughed. He did this every time. “Too late. I’m Tod. You’re Copper. We’ll just have to make sure we have a different outcome, okay?”

  “Remind me why we keep watching this movie,” he said, shaking his head.

  “Because we’re gluttons for punishment?”

  His eyes clouded over into an unreadable expression. Before I could decipher it, he plopped down onto the bed next to me. Then he took my hand and started toying with my fingers.

  “I really did miss you this summer,” he whispered, and I closed my eyes, squeezing them shut, wishing something more were behind those words.

  I shut the television off, descending us into darkness. We’d never spent the night in my bedroom alone, but somehow, I knew Jeremy wasn’t leaving.

  Placing my arm around his waist, I cuddled up to him. “I missed you, too.”

  His chin rested on the top of my head, which rose and fell with his chest. “Promise me something, Sierra,” he said, sounding far too serious.

  I blinked twice. “Anything,” I responded, knowing full well that, if he asked me to fly to the moon, I would do it in a heartbeat.

  “Promise me you’ll never leave. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

  My eyes burned with hot tears. It was a promise I wanted to keep. It was a promise that would break my heart one day. But I didn’t care. It was a promise I would make over and over again.

  I nodded against his chest. “Of course, Jeremy. I’ll never leave,” I promised.

  It was also a promise I didn’t ask him to return.

  When I woke up the next morning, Jeremy was already gone. Butterflies were swirling around in my stomach the whole time I was getting ready for school, and I wondered what my sophomore year was going to bring me.

  “I’m so excited!” Lexi gushed as we got our lunches ready. “High school boys!”

  Mom shook her head at my boy-crazy sister. I was definitely going to have to look out for her when it came to the upperclassmen. With stars in her eyes, she continued to gush to Jenna when we all met up outside for our carpool gang.

  Jeremy made a show of rolling his eyes at Chris and Jenna, who were holding hands, then mimicked a gagging motion. I snickered even though I wasn’t feeling all that cheerful. This year, we only had two classes together. It was going to be weird not seeing him all day every day, but I told myself it was probably a good thing. I’d decided I needed to branch out and try to fight my feelings for him.

  By the end of the first week of school, I felt like I’d barely seen Jeremy.

  “Hey, Sierra, wait up!”

  I turned to see Danny walking towards me. As I studied him, I could see what all the other girls did. His olive complexion was to die for, and a girl could get lost in his dark-brown eyes for days. His full lips had been, according to rumors, made for kissing. And they curved up into a warm smile as he placed a hand on my arm.

  “I’m glad I caught you.”

  I smiled at him. “I haven’t seen you all week. Must be exhausting being king of the school.”

  He scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Please tell me you don’t buy into that shit.”

  “I’m only teasing. What’s up?” I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear as I eagerly waited for him to respond.

  “Well, since things didn’t work out last time, I was hoping you were free this weekend. I meant what I said at the beginning of the summer. I want to get to know you better.”

  A blush crept onto my cheeks. His gaze was intimidating, and as he studied me, I found myself wanting to say yes. So I did.

  “That’d be nice.”

  His smile widened. Then we made plans for the following evening.

  “Who was that?” Mom asked, raising an eyebrow at me when we were all buckled in. Usually, we’d walk to school together, but with the heat index in the low one hundreds, Mom had insisted on picking all of us up. With the way I was sweating, I was thankful for it.

  “Danny Moyer! Only the hottest guy in school,” my sister gushed.

  Jenna nodded in agreement. Chris scoffed, and Jenna leaned over, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

  “He’s not that good-looking,” Jeremy grumbled beside me.

  I frowned and elbowed him, trying to get him to look at me, but he wouldn’t. We rode the rest of the way in silence as Lexi went on about Danny this and Danny that. Once we’d pulled into the driveway, Jeremy jumped out of the car and sprinted across the lawn, slamming the screen door to his house shut as he ran into the house.

  “What’s his problem?” Lexi asked.

  Mom wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “My guess? Danny Moyer,” she said, glancing over at me, a knowing look on her face.

  I shook my head, trying not to emit the sadness I was feeling. “No, that’s not it. Jeremy doesn’t care who I date.”

  I just wished he did.

  SOPHOMORE YEAR WAS TURNING out to be much different than freshman year. Instead of Sierra and me becoming closer, with each passing day, the chasm between us grew wider. I didn’t understand it. I was so close to spilling everything, to telling her that friendship wasn’t enough, but I was too slow. Too late. By the time I was ready to admit it all, she was already going on dates with Danny. I didn’t know how many they’d been on, and I didn’t care. All I knew was they were going to homecoming together, and I wasn’t going to be anywhere near the school that night.

  As I walked into my living room, Chris and Jenna were cuddling on the couch. The last thing I wanted was to be around those two happy lovebirds, so I grabbed my keys of the counter and rode the few miles over the bridge to Navarre Beach. Thank God I’d turned sixteen at the beginning of the school year. Not having to rely on my parents or upperclassmen was amazing, especially for nights when I needed to get out. Nights like that one.

  The slight chill in the air had goosebumps pebbling on my skin. The coolness of the evening had left the beach deserted, which I was grateful for. I wanted to be alone anyways.

  That’s how I felt those days.

  But c
ould I really complain? After all, I’d done this to myself.

  I spread my blanket out and lay down, staring up at the stars. My eyes instantly connected with my favorite constellation. The one on the cheek of my favorite person. As Sierra’s image started swimming in my mind, an aching hole burned in my chest, the unbearable loneliness spreading through my body like the cruelest of wildfires.

  I missed her.

  At that moment, I realized how much she meant to me and how miserable my life would be if I had to watch another man making her as happy as I wanted to. Sierra was my morning, noon, and night, and I wanted her to be everything in between. But she wasn’t that anymore. She was barely even my week, and I had no idea how to change that.

  I’d had her. So close. And, instead of cherishing her, I’d let her slip through my fingertips when I hadn’t been looking. She was everything I’d ever wanted—everything I’d ever want—and I’d had to lose her to realize that.

  I was such an idiot.

  I’d never go after her while she was happy with someone else. But, if he fucked up, I’d be right there, ready to comfort her. And, when she was ready, I would be, too. No more cowardice. No more hesitation.

  I just hoped that opening eventually came—even if wishing for it made me a bastard. So be it.

  As Danny’s hand inched higher up my thigh, I squirmed in my seat. And not in a good way.

  It’d been over a month since our first date, and even though we talked nearly every night on the phone and saw each other at school, this was only our third date. Between football and cheerleading, our weekends were often too busy for us to go out. He hadn’t yet asked me to be his girlfriend, and I didn’t even know if I wanted him to. I knew he was getting annoyed by my refusal to do anything. Hell, we hadn’t even kissed.

  I wasn’t sure why, every time he closed in, I turned my cheek. I told him I wanted to take things slow. After all this, this was my first experience with any sort of romantic relationship, and I was hesitant to go too far too fast. I wasn’t scared. It’s just… I didn’t quite know how I felt about Danny, and I wanted my first kiss to be memorable. One I’d think of often, with fond memories, when I was older. I wasn’t sure Danny was that guy for me. With homecoming coming up, though, I was getting nervous that he was going to expect something that night.