Barbarian: A Science Fiction Alien Romance (Alien Barbarians of Zandipor Book 1)

by Kim Fox

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I say rushing over and placing my palm on his chest. His heart is pounding like crazy.

  “It’s fine, Turic,” I say, giving him a firm stare. “No more violence. I mean it.”

  He doesn’t like it but he slowly slides his knife back into his boot as he exhales hard. “And what of Loupin?” he asks. “No violence to the foul Loupin who touched my sweet Avery?”

  I cringe thinking of the wrinkly old blonde dude who called me pale and laughed at me in front of the village. “Okay,” I say, gritting my teeth together. “You can punch him in the face. But no killing.”

  “Only one punch?” Turic asks, looking disappointed.

  “Okay, two.” Relationships are all about compromise.

  He storms through the village and I have to run to keep up with him.

  “Loupin!” he screams in a booming voice that sends the birds screeching into the sky.

  Turic looks furious. His hands clenched into fists. His back muscles taut. He jerks his head from side to side as he marches through the village looking for revenge.

  We finally find Loupin. He’s in what looks like a village square surrounded by about a dozen Drandroka. He was their leader for who knows how long and it seems that some of the males are not ready to abandon him over their pale, makeup-less new queen.

  Turic stops short as the spears come up. They’re protecting their old leader, surrounding him with their long pointed spears sticking out. Turic stares with his nostrils flaring and his chest heaving up and down.

  “Turic,” I whisper grabbing his thick forearm. “Come show me your home.” I don’t want to see what happens if he rushes forward to fight twelve armed Drandroka.

  He’s not listening so I give his arm a tug. “I’ll let you drink from my culip,” I whisper. That softens his face a bit and his muscles loosen but he’s still staring at Loupin with murder in his eyes.

  “Loupin, you dare touch my Avery,” he hisses.

  “She is the Saku,” Loupin says to the growing crowd as he steps forward out of the wall of spears. “Loupin was right all along. The wise Loupin has conversed with the Goddess Cheecho and Loupin knows what the Drandroka must do to have the prophecy fulfilled.”

  Every ear leans in to hear, including mine.

  “The great Goddess Cheecho says that the Saku must be sacrificed to the many moons. Then the prophecy will be fulfilled.”

  “No,” I say, shaking my finger at him. “No, that’s bullshit. He totally just made that up.”

  Turic lunges forward and Loupin retreats back behind the protection of the spears, hiding behind the tall staff in his hands.

  “Seize them!” Loupin yells, pointing at us with a long crooked finger.

  The Drandroka around him start to move forward but Turic has friends as well. They step forward surrounding us both.

  My friend from before with the bow and arrow steps by my side with an arrow cocked in his bow. It looks ready to fly at anyone who comes near me.

  “The swift and proud Cookie Monster will protect you, the noble Saku, with his life.” I almost feel bad now for giving him such a ridiculous name. Almost.

  “There is no need for violence,” I call out, stepping between the two tense groups. “We are tired from the journey and we would like to sleep. We can figure all of this out in the morning.” I walk over to Turic and take his hand in mine. “Come my love. Come show me your home. It is the wishes of your Saku.”

  He glares forward, looking conflicted.

  “Please, Turic,” I whisper. “I’m asking you to come.”

  His massive shoulders drop and I take a breath of relief. “The mighty Turic will take the Saku back to his home and devour the syrupy honey that drips from her delicious culip.”

  “Okay, that’s enough,” I say tugging him but he doesn’t move. Is it hot out here? I feel really hot…

  “Turic will claim her tight culip with his towering cock until his Saku screams Turic’s names to the heavens.”

  “Turic,” I whisper. “Boundaries, man.”

  With that he scoops me up and throws me over his enormous shoulder, gripping my ass cheek while every Drandroka in the village watches. He turns and marches out of there as everyone present is probably picturing him fucking me.

  I place my hand on his hard back and push myself up. Loupin is glaring at me with pinched lips. I give him the finger as Turic takes me out of there.

  “Turic,” I say when we’re finally walking through the village alone. “Where’s Tin Tom?”

  He just grunts and turns on his heels, walking a different way through the homes dug into the hills.

  Turic stops in front of a large cage made out of thick sticks and tied together with rope. Tin Tom is in there talking to a rat-like creature.

  “Would you like some France Toast?” he asks the critter.

  I tap Turic on the shoulder. “We can leave him in there for a bit longer,” I whisper and Turic tiptoes away.

  Turic lies on his mossy bed and watches me as I walk around his room, examining his stuff. The place is so cute and not what I would have expected from a terrifying warrior like him.

  They seemed to have hollowed out the hills, lining the walls with hard white clay. There’s a large bed inside made out of thick strips of moss stacked on top of each other. I groaned at first when I saw what I would be sleeping in from now on but it’s actually really comfy. Even better than my ten-year-old squeaky mattress back on earth.

  There’s not much else: a table and two chairs, some shelves against the wall with knick knacks on them, some loincloths hanging in the back. There’s no kitchen and Turic explains that everyone cooks in the communal firepit in the village. He explains that the Sandroka used to do the cooking but since they’ve disappeared the Drandroka do it all now. I ask him what happened to the females, or Sandroka as he calls them, but he just gets upset so I change the subject. The poor guy has been through enough today. I’ll ask him again another time.

  “And this?” I ask, holding up a little Drandroka toy made out of sticks. I want to know everything.

  “Turic got that when he completed the Great Walk and became a true Drandroka,” he says proudly.

  I can just picture him. A small and bony teenager. Leaving as a child and returning proudly as a man. It brings a smile to my face.

  “What’s this one?” I ask, lifting up a rock with a red stripe painted on it.

  “Come to Turic,” he says, patting the moss mattress beside him. He doesn’t have to ask me twice. I’m there in an instant. “The mighty Turic will claim your delicious culip now.”

  I slide my fingertip down the hard curve of his arm. “Have you ever thought about not talking in the third person?” I ask, scratching my temple. “It sounds kind of weird.”

  “Weird?” he says, jerking his head back. “Turic doesn’t understand.”

  “You know what?” I say, waving my hand at him. “Never mind. You were saying something about claiming my delicious culip?”

  I sink to the mattress with a grin as he leans over me with lust in his eyes. He rubs his hand over my stomach, lowers his head, and gives my belly a soft kiss. “Soon you will bear a thousand of Turic’s mighty babies,” he says between kisses.

  “Wait, what?” I ask springing up to a sitting position. Did I just hear that right? A thousand babies? From this guy? I shiver thinking of pushing out even one of this guy’s enormous babies from my human body. My culip is going to look like a soggy lasagna after.

  “I think we should talk about that first,” I say. I’m not even sure if we can have kids. Would I even survive childbirth, or Roka birth, out here without a hospital in sight?

  He’s rubbing my stomach with a satisfied look on his face. “Talk. No. The mighty Turic has placed his mighty seed in his Avery’s womb. The hardness begins.”

  “What hardness?” I ask, my throat constricting at the sudden realization of what could be happening. I didn’t think I’d get pregnant. We’re not even the sa
me species.

  “Turic,” I whisper, my stomach suddenly sensitive. I touch where he’s touching. Was my stomach always so hard? I gulp. Flabby and soft, yes. Hard, no.

  Oh, fuck.

  “Turic’s mighty baby is growing within his Avery.”

  Just as I feel a wave of panic wash over me the door flies open and there’s an angry mob of Drandroka flying in the room. A tiny feathered dart sinks into Turic’s thick neck and his eyes start to immediately roll back in his head.

  “No!” I scream as they rush in and a dozen strong hands grab me.

  Turic is drugged and slow but he still attacks, knocking out three Drandroka before he finally collapses to the ground.

  I scream as they pull me out the door. “Don’t hurt him!” I command.

  He’s the father of my baby.

  fourteen

  Turic is still drugged, moaning incoherently as two Drandroka drag him forward. “Where are you taking us?” I ask. “Actually, on second thought, I don’t want to know.”

  We’re a long way out of the village. We passed through a short stretch of forest and now we’re heading to the cliffs in the distance. My feet are so sore and I keep dreaming of Turic’s heavenly mossy bed.

  Poor Turic. His head is lowered as two Drandroka hold up his arms and pull him along. His limp feet drag through the dirt, kicking up dust. I really hope that’s a sedative running through his veins and not a poison.

  My stomach feels heavier and harder since Turic pointed it out. I also feel nauseous but that could be from this death march. But there’s no mistaking the unfamiliar but beautiful feeling coursing through my body: I’m pregnant with Turic’s child.

  A new stronger need to survive overtakes me. I have to survive. For Turic and for our unborn child.

  Loupin creeps up to the head of the pack where I’m walking. The nausea increases but I don’t think it’s from the baby this time.

  “Loupin doesn’t know how you slew the many fanged beast,” he whispers, spitting on my arm as he speaks. “But you won’t get lucky again.”

  “I don’t need luck,” I answer with my chin in the air, looking forward. “I am the Saku.”

  He’s probably right but it’s still fun to see the flash of panic in his eyes as he sinks back into the crowd, leaning heavily on his long staff.

  The ground ahead is littered with huge bones and my heart starts to race at the sight of them covering the landscape like freshly fallen snow. It looks like another Tyrannosaurus nest and we’re heading right for it.

  “Turic,” I whisper as the two Drandroka carry him up beside me. His head rolls with every bump and it doesn’t seem like he’s going to be much help. “You have to wake up.”

  He answers with a garbled groan.

  I guess I’m on my own. I already killed one T-Rex today but still, I would feel much better if Sleepy Smurf was by my side, alert and in full blue berserker mode.

  The guards tiptoe as they walk us up to the dinosaur’s nest. My legs feel weak and I’m hyper-sensitive to any sounds, which makes it extra eerie because it’s deathly quiet below the cliffs. A Drandroka guard behind me clears his throat and I almost jump as high as the cliff walls beside me.

  The two Drandroka holding Turic drop him onto the ground with a thud and sprint back to the safety of the group on the hill. I’m by his side at once, stroking his relaxed masculine face trying to wake him up. He’s so out of it.

  Just as things couldn’t get any worse, they get worse. They drag Tin Tom out and throw him beside me. “Good daytime to you breeding aged earthling,” he says in a chipper, crackling voice.

  “Hi, Tin Tom,” I whisper, exhaling in defeat.

  “There is a dinosauriform in the close vicinity,” he says, blinking wildly. “Tom recommends that we depart immediately.”

  “We can’t,” I whisper with a gulp. “We have to kill it.”

  Tin Tom stops blinking. “The statistical likelihood of a weaponless human surviving an encounter with a dinosauriforms of that magnitude is zero percent.”

  “Zero percent?” I whisper. “Come on man. Not even a computing error of 0.00000001%?”

  Tin Tom blinks, looking smug. “Tom does not make errors.”

  My head whips around to him as my blood starts to boil. “What about letting us land on this fucking crazy dinosaur planet? Wouldn’t that be considered an error? Eh, Mr. Perfect?”

  Tin Tom just blinks. “Rolanda was the Captain.”

  “Ugh,” I cry out, throwing my hands in the air in frustration. I may have to die today but do I really have to be tortured?

  Heavy vibrating footsteps thunder in the distance and my blood goes cold. Every hair on my body is standing at full attention as I feel the monstrous presence approaching.

  I grab my lucky apartment key out of my pocket and slide it into my fist. It worked before. It may work again.

  “Come on, Turic,” I say, shaking my man as my adrenaline spikes. “If you have an ounce of that mighty Turic stuff left inside of you, I could really use it now.”

  He tries to get up but his limp legs aren’t cooperating and he falls back down to the ground with a weak grunt.

  “Alright,” I say, taking a deep breath. “Tin Tom. Any advice?”

  Tin Tom blinks sadly. “Tom recommends that you run.”

  I let out a heavy sigh. Turic is too heavy to carry and I’m not leaving him here. I love him too much for that.

  It’s a beautiful cloudless day but the thunder gets louder and louder. “Oh, God,” I whisper as a towering shadow sneaks out from around the bend of the cliff.

  The T-Rex stomps out in full terrifying view. She’s the size of a building with teeth the size of swords. I have no chance.

  I glance up at the sky, hoping for another miraculous meteor to hit, but like my grandfather used to say, ‘you only get lucky once.’ There are no meteors in sight.

  I step in front of Turic’s moaning body and gulp as the T-Rex turns her sleepy eyes towards me. She lowers her massive head as I raise my fist with my old apartment key wedged between my fingers.

  “Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit,” I whisper to myself over and over again as she stares from about fifty yards away. She tilts her head curiously as she watches me with thick red blood dripping off her lower jaw in buckets.

  A bead of sweat slides down my temple as my hands start shaking uncontrollably. She’s absolutely terrifying and the dried blood coating her face and stomach just adds to the heart-stopping effect.

  She lets out a chirping cry that pierces my ears and then she retreats to the bottom of the cliff where she lies down.

  Tears well up behind my eyelids at the sudden release of tension. The blood-covered T-Rex looks like she just ate an all-you-can-eat Stegosaurus buffet and we don’t look too appetizing as a dessert.

  The dinosaur lowers her head and blinks her eyes closed as she lets out a long, noisy exhale. The army of blueberries behind us let out a collective gasp. I glance back to where they are up on the hill, jumping around and cheering quietly. Do they think that I made that happen?

  It’s nap time for the T-Rex but we’re not in the clear yet. She may have a friend join her or she can change her mind at any moment and come snatch us up as an after dinner mint.

  “Tin Tom,” I whisper as I hook my arm under Turic’s huge bicep. “How can I wake this guy up?”

  Tin Tom blinks. “You can revive the Drandroka easily with an injection of epinephrine.”

  My head perks up. “Do you have one?”

  Tin Tom blinks his lights wildly and I feel a lightness in my chest as there’s finally hope.

  “No,” he answers curtly. “Tom is a translational unit, not a medical unit.”

  “Well,” I say, yanking him towards Turic. “You’re going to be a transportational unit now.” I grit my teeth and groan as I try to lift up my heavy blue love with everything that I have to put him onto Tin Tom. After ten seconds my muscles are burning and I’m breathless
. And poor Turic is still on the ground.

  “Wake up many fanged beast!” Loupin hollers as he rushes down the hill, waving his long staff in the air. “She is a false Saku! A fraud! Eliminate her!”

  “Shut up!” I hiss at him as he awkwardly runs forward with his thin yellow hair blowing in the air behind him. “Are you fucking crazy?!?”

  But he just gets louder. “False Saku! False Saku! False Saku!” he screams over and over again as he waves his staff at the many fanged bitch.

  I knew this was too good to be true. I hold my breath as I slowly turn back to the sleeping dinosaur. She’s awake now. And she looks pissed!

  She’s standing on her two enormous hind legs and leaning forward with her bloody lips curled up over her deadly teeth.

  “Devour her!” Loupin screams as he stumbles over, pointing his staff at me. “Prove to the Drandroka her falseness!”

  The T-Rex is glaring at us, looking annoyed with the disturbance to her nap. She looks like a person lying in bed who’s watching an irritating fly buzzing around the room. I gulp when she moves forward to squish it.

  Turic is still pretty out of it. His forehead is sweaty and he doesn’t seem to realize what’s going on. I’m thankful for that at least. He probably won’t feel the pain that I will.

  I drop to my knees beside him and hold his moaning head in my lap. If I’m going to die, it’s going to be beside my love.

  Loupin reaches us before the T-Rex does and he continues his frantic screeching as he wildly waves his staff in the air. “Loupin is the true leader of the Drandroka!” he screams with wide, rage-filled eyes. “Remove this deceptive pink Sandroka from our land! She is a false Saku!”

  The T-Rex walks over slowly, tilting her head curiously as she watches Loupin’s little temper tantrum. “Loupin is the true Saku! He is the true leader,” he shouts.

  I gasp as the T-Rex walks up to us and stops, casting us in a gigantic, heart-stopping shadow. Big fat drops of blood fall from her jaws and smack onto the ground in front of us. I wipe the splatter from my face as I try to focus on Turic. His love will get me through this. It will be over quickly and then we will meet again in the afterlife to continue our amazing adventure which is ending way too fast.