IMAGINE MY SURPRISE WHEN I show up at Ryley’s to spend a nice evening with her, only to find a note taped to the door directing me to Magoo’s and reminding me that I need to get a cell phone. As much as I love the bar, it’s not where I want to spend what little time I have with her. I was really hoping for a nice quiet dinner, maybe a romantic walk on the beach, followed by some serious adult time. But no, my girl wants to hang out at the bar of all places.
The thought crosses my mind that Ryley may be trying to re-create the life we had before some fucker decided to screw with us. We’d meet at Magoo’s after work, hang out with friends and sometimes Cara and Nate would join us. Cara… the more I think about what’s happened and my need to find the truth the more Cara enters into my thoughts. I could ask Ryley what happened between Cara and Nate, but I’m not sure my ego could take it if I found out she was the cause of them breaking up.
As soon as I walk in, I’m taken back to seven, eight years ago... to the last time I came home from deployment. That homecoming was a little happier, but this one could be just as nice. In the middle of the room, under a sign welcoming me home is the girl that I have loved for years. She stands there facing me, with a smile big enough to light up New York City. Some may think this is my moment to shine, but it’s not, it’s Ryley’s. Welcome home parties aren’t always for us, but for our families. It gives them a moment to finally breathe because they finally have us home. They finally get back to living life the way it’s meant to be. Nothing is put on hold when we’re home.
Surrounding Ryley are River and Frannie, my mom and Livvie, McCoy, Rask, Slick Rick, and Nate. If the sign didn’t have my name on it, I’d wonder if this party was for him, too, since Carter, Lois and what looks like a few of his team are here. Ryley steps toward me and I look for any hesitation, the slightest inclination that she’s only going to be friendly. She pauses before she reaches me, but I don’t give her the opportunity to step back. I grab her, pulling her by her waist and pressing her flush against my body, kissing her deeply. A hush falls over the bar, not that I care. I know she’s engaged to my brother unless she’s called it off and this is really a party to celebrate that fact.
When she pulls away she bites her lower lip. I use this to my advantage and run my thumb over it pulling it free. “Welcome home, Archer,” her words are barely audible and are only meant for me.
“As long as I’m with you, I’m home.” Leaning down, I place a chaste kiss on her lips before looking over at my friends. “Where are your parents?”
“Someone had to watch EJ and they volunteered.”
I appreciate it but wish they were here. They’re the only ones who have treated me like a real person and not a ghost since I’ve been home. Our homecoming should’ve been different and I can only imagine that my team members are feeling a little bit somber. With Ryley’s hand in mine I greet my friends and thank them for coming. When we get to my mother, I kiss her on the cheek.
“It’s good to see you again, Mom.”
“Yes well, Nate called and invited me.” My eyes meet his over the top of my mother’s head. His face is red, his jaw is clenched and the anger is rolling off him. Letting go of Ryley’s hand, I place my arm around her shoulder and pull her into me. She stumbles a little, but regains her footing quickly. I know what I’m doing is probably wrong in a lot of people’s eyes, but in mine, this woman belongs to me and I belong to her. I don’t want to pretend when I’m with her.
“Mom, you remember Ryley, my fiancée and the mother of my son?”
My mother stiffens and Livvie steps away. The line is clearly divided where Livvie is concerned. I’m her favorite. I’ve known that for years, but she still looks up to Nate. While Nate and I aren’t allowed to live with Ryley, Livvie is. It’s my hope that my sister has come to her senses where Ryley is concerned. If not, I won’t hesitate to pack up her shit and sending her back to my mother’s.
“I believe she’s engaged to Nate now. Am I right, Ryley?” She cocks an eyebrow at Ryley before looking down and away as if Ryley isn’t worth the time it would take for her to respond. “And let’s not forget about EJ,” she says before turning her back on me.
“Huh, imagine that... my own mother wants to believe that my son belongs to you,” I say to Nate before turning toward the bar. Ryley keeps stride with me until we reach the bar.
“So how does this work, Ry? Do I get one night and he gets the other? Or do we share nights, like tonight? Because if that’s the case, you can pretty much guarantee that I won’t be the third wheel on your dates.”
Ryley rolls her eyes before squaring herself. “Do you love me?”
“You know I do,” my reply is instant and factual, but gives me pause. Maybe I’m not saying it enough to her.
“Then shut up with your stupid comments. Your family and friends are here to celebrate your homecoming, which frankly should’ve happened weeks ago. I’m trying here and I need you to just accept what I’m offering until I can offer more.”
Pulling her into my arms, I tell her that I’m sorry and that I do love her, more than anything in this world. I remind her that she’s the reason I’m alive right now.
Rick hands us each a beer. As I bring mine to my lips, I watch her. She’s uncomfortable with my question, but I’m not about to play nice. Nate shouldn’t be at my party, not under the circumstances. The fact that he’s here, knowing that I’ll refuse to keep my hands off Ryley, is really pretty dumb on his part. He must love being tortured. Lord knows I wouldn’t allow it.
“I’m going to go talk to Frannie,” Ryley murmurs, letting her hand linger on my arm. I shake my head and watch her walk away. I don’t know why she continues this charade of not knowing who she wants to be with. My brother is in the room and she doesn’t hesitate to touch me. If I were Nate, I’d be livid. I wouldn’t be standing there with our mother, whining to her as if she’s going to do something about us not getting along.
Leaning back against the bar I survey the scene. Rask is in the corner flirting with a blonde while McCoy sits in the corner by himself. Empty beer mugs litter his table with a half empty one resting in his hand. My own problems have overshadowed his. In most cases, he’s worse off. At least Ryley was in the same house when I came home. I need to be a better friend to him and help him find Penny and Claire.
River and Frannie are laughing at something Ryley is saying, which makes me smile. I don’t even know what she’s talking about, but a part of me feels as if I’m over there with them right now. A tap on my shoulder causes me to turn. Rick has placed a fresh beer down for me. I glance quickly at River to see if he’s drinking. I’ll need a ride home tonight because I don’t plan on stopping as long as Nate is in the room.
Speaking of my brother, he and my mother, along with Carter and Lois grab a table to hold their “how-do-we-get-Evan-out-of-here-pow-wow”. They’re laughable, really, if they think I’m going to step aside and let Nate continue his takeover of my life.
Ryley walks by and I grab her by the waist, pulling her to me. I love it when her hair is down and I show her just how much by nuzzling her neck. God, she smells amazing. I’ve never been able to describe what she smells like, but her perfume drives me crazy and makes me want her even more. I nip at her ear, pulling her lobe in between my teeth. “I love you,” I whisper as I brush the stubble on my face from her ear over her cheek. Capturing her lips, our tongues meet in a familiar dance, one that I’ve missed and so desperately need in order to live.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Angry words are thrown at me as she’s ripped from my arms. The last vision I have is of Ryley’s face masked in fear. Her hands are covering her mouth, and I can’t console her because my brother is standing in front of me.
“Do you have a problem, little brother?”
The bar falls silent as Nate’s nostrils flare and his chest puffs out. I set my beer on the stool next to me so that I can keep my eyes on my enemy. I right myself, standing tall.
“
You just don’t get it do you?”
I’m sure I do, but I’m not willing to give him an inch. Picking up my beer, I take a nice long drink before setting it down again. Smacking my lips together, I smirk. “Why don’t you fill me in?”
Nate takes a step closer and points his finger at me. My eyes never leave his. “You need to respect the ring on her finger.”
I chuckle and shake my head. “Just like you respected the one I left there?” I cock my eyebrow at him, watching as his face turns redder.
“You left her.” His words rip through me. His lies tear at my heart.
“The fuck I did,” I roar as my fist flies, connecting with his jaw. The satisfying sound of a crack has me rearing back for another punch. Nate stumbles, but doesn’t touch the side of his face. He’s a warrior after all. Ignoring the screaming, I charge forward, only to be knocked back when his fist connects with my nose. My eyes water, but that doesn’t stop me from pursuing my enemy, from annihilating my competition.
Strong arms circle round me like a vice grip, holding me back. Nate steps closer, his lip bleeding as a result of my hit. “Come at me, fucker,” I say as I spit in his direction.
Carter steps up to Nate, his hand on his chest. “Be the bigger man. Don’t stoop to his level.”
“That’s right, Nate, don’t covet what isn’t yours,” I say only I’m looking at Carter. He returns my glare and shakes his head. I don’t care for nor do I need his approval.
“Come on man, let’s take a walk.” It’s McCoy who’s holding me back. He shoves me toward the door, but not before I make eye contact with my family. My mother is showing her disapproval by glaring at me. Livvie’s eyes are going from me to Nate, and Ryley is crying. I made her cry again. Maybe that should be my sign, my clue that she’s better off with Nate and not me.
We fought when we were younger, but never like this and never over a girl. Hell, I’ve never fought for a girl. Never had to. But for Ryley, I’d fight to the death. I’m not sure she understands that about me.
For her, I’d lay down my life.
McCoy hangs on to me until we’re around the side of the bar. The sea air is somewhat refreshing over the smell of stale beer and embedded cigarette smoke from when people could smoke in bars.
I slam my fist against the concrete wall a few times before McCoy pushes me away. “Take a walk,” he tells me. His voice is gruff, demanding. He knows me. He knows what I’m capable of. I walk away with my hands linked behind my head. McCoy lingers near me and for what? Maybe save me from myself? Or save me from Nate? It doesn’t matter which scenario it is because right now, I’m a ticking time bomb.
“Can you believe him?” I ask, throwing my hands up in the air.
McCoy shakes his head slowly. “Nope, but I can’t believe you either.”
“What are talking about?”
He pushes his hands into his pockets and looks at me. “I get that you’re angry and pissed off. Hell, I’m in the same sinking boat you are. We got fucked and there ain’t a single person willing to help us out. But Ryley moved on and you have to respect that shit. Would you be this pissed if it was some other guy?”
His question stings, but he’s right. If Ryley had moved on with someone else I would have to suck it up and just deal with it, but she didn’t. She moved on with my brother and that’s something you just don’t do.
“I’d have my son, McCoy. I’d have the part of her that we created together. But right now, my boy thinks another man is his father and I don’t see that man telling my son otherwise.”
“So tell him yourself; you’re entitled.”
“Please don’t.” We turn at the sound of Nate’s voice not far behind us. Our training should’ve alerted us to the fact that he was there, but I’m too angry to even notice my surroundings. And hearing Nate ask me not to tell my son that I’m his father when I’m already this pissed off does not bode well for him at all.
“PLEASE DON’T.” THE WORDS are out of my mouth before I can stop them. It’s not how I meant to start the conversation, but after hearing McCoy suggest that Evan tell EJ the truth, it’s the only thing I could say. It’s not that I don’t want EJ to know. I actually think he should know. I just can’t figure out how to go about telling him.
I look down at the bag of ice in my hand, my peace offering. It’s not much, but what just happened in there, in front of our friends and family, can’t happen again. We aren’t Neanderthals. We’re family and you don’t treat family this way.
Evan is going to say the same thing to me and he’s right. The way I behaved after he died... I should’ve known better. I let my heart get in the way of what’s right and wrong and now a five-year-old boy is going to pay the price because the adults in his life can’t make the proper decisions.
“McCoy, do you think I could speak with Evan?” Kill ‘em with kindness. That’s what my father used to say. But he’d also remind us to never show our opponent any weakness. Ryley and EJ are the Archers’ weakness.
Evan stands facing McCoy and with his back to me, only the floodlights of the bar illuminating the area. They have a silent exchange. Something only brothers you have been to battle with would be privy to. It’s my hope that Evan will open up to me about his time away. That he’ll let me help him.
As soon as McCoy walks away, Evan turns. I toss the bag of ice at him. “It’s a peace offering,” I say in hopes to break the proverbial ice. “Look, what happened in there… we need to come to an understanding.”
“No, what we need to do is decide when EJ finds out I’m his father.”
“I’m not out here to fight with you.”
“Afraid you’ll lose?” he asks, his tone mocking.
“No, it’s not that,” I answer with a shake of my head. “I’m concerned about where you’ve been and I think you need to hear me out about what life has been like the past six years.”
I walk over to the picnic bench and sit down. I remember when Rick put this out here, thinking that we’d want to sit and relax. A few did, but being inside is where the ambience is. Inside is where we feel like we can relax and let our guard down just a little bit.
“What you were doing in there was low. You know she’s my fiancée, and yet you had no qualms about kissing her.”
Evan shrugs. “You had no qualms taking over my life, so I guess we’re even.”
I should’ve known that talking to him at all wouldn’t be easy but talking about Ryley and EJ is probably going to be an extremely tumultuous conversation. Maybe she should be here to referee, but putting her in the middle of any more disagreements between us is the last thing I want to do. She loves us both and I wish none of us were going through this.
“I’m not going to sugar coat anything. The other day when you walked in, I thought I was looking at a ghost and part of me is still waiting for you to disappear. And if I’m being honest, I’m not sure you’re even you. I mean you look like you and Ryley says it’s you, but I can’t wrap my head around a crew of Navy SEALs being gone for six years without being prisoners of war, or missing in action. None of this shit makes sense, Ev, and I’m trying to get a clear picture.
“I know coming home was a shock, but you have to understand when I tell you that Ryley and me ending up together wasn’t planned. I didn’t set out to be with her. Things just happened. Our feelings developed over the years and we acted on them. We shared a bond. One of the things you said the other day really made me think a lot: How does it feel to be you? And the answer is, I never set out to take over your life. I was happy with Cara and I was happy being an uncle to EJ.
“But when shit went south between Cara and me, I started spending more and more time over at Ryley’s because she was my connection to you. Being at the cemetery where you’re buried wasn’t cutting it. I needed a connection and she and EJ were it. It was years, Evan, before she and I even discussed what we were feeling, because we were both afraid of tarnishing your memory.”
Evan finally raises the bag of ice to his
nose. He winces from the cold sensation and pressure being applied to his face.
“I hate you.”
“I know,” I say, sighing heavily. “If I knew you were alive, I swear to God I would’ve been looking for you.”
Evan sits down and, to me, this means progress. “That’s just it,” he says as he leans forward, resting one of his elbows on his knee. His other hand is still holding the ice pack. “About three months in I asked O’Keefe to get a message to you. I wanted you to know that everything was good, but that I needed you to check on Ry because she was pregnant. He told me that he gave you the message. I left it at that because a few days later a box came from Ryley with pictures of her belly getting bigger and a letter.”
“Was it her handwriting?” I ask the moment he pauses.
Evan shakes his head. “I never thought about it until now, but all her letters were typed and I think I figured at the time that she was tired and didn’t want to handwrite everything.”
“You were about fifty days out when they came knocking on the door. They told Ryley first before they told Mom or me. Ryley called me and I could hear it in her voice when she said your name. By the time I got to your house, Carole and Jensen were there and Carole was on the phone yelling at someone. I had never seen her scream before that day. That was also the day Ryley told me she was pregnant. I didn’t know what to think until Mom came storming in, demanding that Ry move out.”
Evan groans, and I know why: Our mother. When our father died, she changed. She became cold and shut off. It’s not that I blame her, but she still had three children that needed her. When Evan died, she became mechanical and shut off. EJ has brought her back a little, but not much. To him, she’s an amazing grandmother. To the rest of us, she’s cold hearted.
“Mom begged Carole to investigate and she did. I know she spent hours scouring through documents looking for something that would tell us otherwise, but every ‘T’ was crossed and all the ‘I’s’ were dotted. Whoever wanted you guys to disappear did a damn fine job of covering the trail.”
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