Struggle to Forever: a friends to lovers duet

by Lilliana Anderson

  Twenty-Four

  Elliot

  “Did you see the size of that bath in there?” I say to Paige the next morning.

  She raises her eyebrows, “I did. Do you think you’ll fit?”

  “I think we’ll both fit.”

  A smile creeps over Paige’s face. “Well, what are you waiting for? Go and turn it on.”

  I get up and stride over to the en-suite and turn on the massive bath, waiting for the water to get nice and warm before I return to Paige. She’s lying on the bed, smiling to herself while she’s looking at her phone. I flop down beside her. “What are you grinning about?” I ask.

  “Us,” she says, showing me one of the photos of us on the Cobb last night. “Although, I do need one more very important one to make my collection complete.”

  I fold my arms up behind my head as she climbs on top of me. My arousal stirs because she’s straddling me and we’re both naked. She grins and wriggles her hips making me harder. “You’re not taking a photo of that are you?” I ask, unsure of where this is going.

  “No,” she says, leaning down to kiss me before sitting back and aiming her phone at me. “I want a photo of you lying there, naked beneath me.”

  I’m grinning as she taps her screen, and it makes a clicking sound. She turns her phone around for me to see, and it is just me, waist up.

  “See, you can’t see anything, but I’ll always know what was going on.” She moves her hips over my shaft again, and I pull her face towards me to kiss her, sliding my tongue in her mouth as we take turns tasting each other.

  She reaches over to the nightstand and picks up a condom then breaks away from me. “Where do you think you’re going?” I ask when she slides off me, but I quickly jump up and follow her as she heads to the en-suite and beckons for me to follow her.

  Paige

  Tearing the foil off the packet with my teeth, I take the condom out and roll it down the length of his shaft as I plant feather light kisses over his chest and neck, taking my time, sliding my hand up and down his rock-hard shaft as I finish.

  He moans as he leans down to kiss me, pulling me towards him so we’re pressing firmly against each other. He’s all hard muscle and smooth skin to my soft tissue and curves. We press together like our bodies were made to absorb each other. It’s amazing.

  “Get in,” I say as I push him back a touch and lean over to shut off the tap.

  He does as he’s told, and I climb in on top of him, taking him inside me before the water washes away my natural lubrication.

  Moaning slightly as I connect us to the base of his shaft he leans back and closes his eyes. “I told you it was a big tub,” he says in this low sensual voice that never fails to set my body on fire.

  Rocking my hips, I lean in, gently brushing my lips over the stubble on his chin before grazing his lips with mine, leisurely sliding my tongue along with his so I can savour every piece of him. I want to remember his mouth, his tongue, his teeth. I want to make love to him for every possible moment I can until he goes. I need enough of these moments to last me my lifetime, because when he goes, he’s gone, and there’ll never be another man for me. Not as long as I live.

  Elliot

  The water sloshes slightly as she slides up and down my shaft. My hands roam over every part of her body, touching and squeezing as my mouth connects with hers in a kiss I never want to end.

  I feel my orgasm building and reach in between us to circle her clit. She moans in my mouth, and I almost explode right then and there. She feels so amazing, as she clenches herself around me and whimpers in my mouth, grinding on top of me, moving closer and closer to her climax.

  A fresh bout of arousal washes over me as her hips spasm, but she refuses to break our kiss, moaning her orgasm into me as she struggles to keep her mouth moving. Shuddering along with her, unable to hold on any longer, I continue to kiss her, refusing to let her go even for a second. We don’t stop touching and kissing until the water turns cold, and we start to shiver, deciding that then would be a great time to get some breakfast.

  Paige

  “Here, put this on,” Elliot offers, holding out a white fluffy robe for me to wear. I’m still shivering after our extended bath and the thickness of the robe is welcome against my skin. He hugs me to him, rubbing my back and arms to create some friction until finally I heat up again.

  Looking over the menu, we call down to reception and ask if we can have our breakfast brought up to us. We don’t want to waste time getting dressed and eating in the dining room. We’re perfectly happy right here.

  No more than twenty minutes later there’s a knock on the door and a tray is brought in sporting coffee, orange juice, warm croissants, scrambled eggs, bacon and a selection of fruits. It smells divine, and my stomach grumbles loudly in reaction.

  “Hungry?” Elliot asks, grinning as he thanks the staff member and turns the lock on the door.

  “Famished,” I say, sitting down at the small table and pouring us both a coffee from the pewter pot. I feel a little goofy with the grin that’s plastered across my face. But, we can’t stop smiling and touching each other while we eat.

  Elliot has become snap happy and keeps taking photos of me with food in my mouth. I'm laughing because my face looks funny when I’m chewing. But, then he takes a photo of me laughing with food showing in my mouth, and that makes me laugh more because it’s gross.

  “Delete it!” I say to him, grabbing for his phone.

  “No, it’s mine,” he teases as he holds his phone away from me. He looks at me, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “You know, I don’t think it’s fair that you have a topless photo of me and I don’t have one of you.”

  I shake my head laughing. I'm not about to let him take a photo of me topless. “No way, mister. You’re not getting a titty shot of me.”

  “Not of your breasts, Paige, of your back.”

  I take a deep breath to steady the sudden nerves I feel at him mentioning it. I’ve become used to him tracing Phoenix's wings, tail and claws when we’re in bed together; showing it around him doesn’t seem so scary anymore. But, he still doesn’t understand the true meaning behind it. I'm not sure how I feel about doing this.

  “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I just think you’re so beautiful, and your tattoo is breathtaking. I want to look at it while we aren’t together.”

  I sit and stare for a moment, studying his hopeful face. “All right,” I concede.

  “Really?”

  “Yes, really.” I stand up and move over to the bed before I can change my mind. Undoing my robe so it falls to my waist, I sit with my back to him. I twist my hair and hold it up on top of my head with one arm and look over my shoulder at him to check if he's ready.

  It’s then he takes the photo. He smiles fondly at it as he brings it over to me to look at. It almost looks like a professional photo; the lighting is perfect, and my face has a mixture of trepidation and adoration on it.

  “Beautiful,” he breathes, looking at it and kissing my neck.

  He sighs heavily as he puts his phone to the side and meets my eyes. I can tell he wants to say something, but he’s warring with himself before he begins.

  “What is it?” I ask.

  “I just… I want you to know that I’ve never been happier than when I’m with you. I want you to know that I—”

  “Don’t, Elliot,” I say quickly, cutting him off. “Don’t say anything to make this harder. I’m staying and you’re going. Please don’t try and change that.”

  “It doesn’t have to end when I go, Paige. You could come with me. Or I could come back. Or you could come with me and then we both come back,” he argues regardless. “Don’t end this. You know how I feel about you, even if you don’t want to hear it. And I’m sure you feel the same way about me. We can do this. We can do this anywhere you want, any country you want. I just want you.”

  Tears threaten to spill from my eyes as I pull my robe back over my shoulders and close it tigh
tly around me. “Elliot, you can do so much better than me. Why are you pushing this?”

  “Because I love you, damn it!” he yells suddenly, his outburst scaring the shit out of me as he jumps off the bed and paces the room. I sit there, trying not to cry as I watch him work through his emotions. When he stops and looks at me his eyes are shining as well. “Why won’t you tell me what makes you so sad? Why don’t you trust me enough to love you no matter what you may have done?”

  “Because you wouldn’t, Elliot. You couldn’t love me if I told you everything about me,” I cry, tears flowing freely as I stand up and try to move towards him.

  “Why won’t you just tell me, Paige?” he yells, exasperation written all over his face as his eyes plead with me. “Let me make my own fucking choices.”

  I place my now shaking hands on his chest and look into his eyes, imploring him to stop. “Please Elliot, can you just accept that the time we have left is it? I can’t go back with you. I need to stay here and deal with my mother, and you need to go back to your life.”

  “Paige, you are my life, can’t you understand that? I don’t want to go back without you.”

  He circles his arms around me and kisses me as the tears continue to flow from my eyes. Pressing his forehead against mine, he breathes in deeply and speaks in a strained voice. “Come back with me, Paige.”

  I step back from him, our eyes locked as he waits for me to answer. But I won’t answer. What would be the point? I’m not going back, and I’m not telling him why. I’m not strong enough to watch his love slip away.

  His eyes widen as the realisation hits him that I’m not planning to answer him. Pressing his palms to his eyes before he rakes his hands through his hair, he blows out a charged breath and steps back from me.

  “This is fucked.” Moving quickly, he pulls on a pair of pants, dropping his robe on the floor where he stands and picks up his shirt and shoes then looks at me, pain behind his eyes as he shakes his head then makes his way to the door, walking out and closing it quietly behind him.

  It feels worse than if he slammed it. At least I’d know he was angry and going off to calm down. Right now, I don’t know what he is, and not knowing scares me even more.

  You lost him.

  He’s going to leave and never come back.

  He’s abandoning you. Just like everyone else.

  You’re unloveable.

  Panic overwhelms me, and I drop to the floor, crying into my hands. Oh god, I thought I could handle this. I thought I could cope with him leaving. But, I’m falling apart and all he’s done is walked out the door.

  You’re not unloveable, Phoenix whispers.

  Then why did he go?

  Because he does love you. You hurt him.

  My emotions churn in my stomach as I think about the strain our separation will cause over the next five days. I don’t want to spend them fighting. But, I know I can’t go with him. It wouldn’t be right.

  I’ll hurt him more if I go with him.

  The acid in my stomach rises as the image of him boarding a plane and leaving me hits home, running to the bathroom, I heave over the toilet until the entire contents of my stomach is gone, and I’m left with nothing but my tears as I cry into the bowl, wishing I’d never started this.

  Elliot

  Dropping my shoes on the floor, I stuff my feet into them as I pull my shirt over my head. I can’t go far because I’ve left my wallet, phone and the car keys in the room with Paige. I just need to get out of there before I beg her and make a total fool of myself.

  A cold blast of air hits me when I step outside, but I couldn’t care less. I need some fresh air and a chance to calm down. I walk through the gardens until walking isn’t good enough anymore, and I break into a run. When I reach the edge of the garden, I keep going, pushing myself harder and faster until my legs burn, and my chest hurts from sucking in the chill air. I drop on the ground and stare up at the bright blue sky, watching as cumulus clouds float slowly across its expanse, mocking me with their perfection as my insides rage on in turmoil.

  I have five days to go. That’s it. I don’t want to spend them fighting. I simply wish she’d come with me. I don’t want to leave her behind.

  Paige

  I took a shower to calm down, and now I’m attacking my hair with a comb to try to detangle my curls. I forgot to pack conditioner, but it serves me right for letting Elliot love me. A head full of knots is the least I deserve.

  After getting a hold of myself, I realised he had to come back to the room. His wallet and keys are here so he can’t go far. He’ll be back, and then I can take it all back. I can tell him I didn’t mean it. I can say whatever he needs to hear. Just give me five more days.

  When the handle of the door finally turns, my breath catches at the sight of him. He looks distraught, and I feel terrible that I’m the one causing his beautiful heart so much pain. I stand, watching him carefully as he walks towards me with grace and speed. His arms reach out, and he pulls me to him, our mouths crashing together in desperate need.

  “I’m sorry,” he breathes, holding me to him. “I shouldn’t have reacted like that. I shouldn’t have yelled.” He kisses me again, more softly this time and presses our foreheads together. “Forgive me, Paige, I’ll do whatever you want. Just don’t let this end.”

  Don’t let this end.

  I close my eyes tightly as a single tear leaves my right eye and slides down my cheek. Elliot holds my face and kisses it away, capturing my mouth and sliding his hands under my shirt and over my bare skin.

  “Please, Paige. Don’t give up on us.”

  “OK. I’ll come back with you,” I whisper, even though I know full well I’m not going to. I’m a terrible person.

  Elliot

  I think my heart just exploded in my chest. Did I hear that right? She’s coming back with me?

  “You will?” I ask, not quite believing my ears.

  “I will,” she whispers, tears falling freely from her eyes.

  Wiping her cheeks with my hands, I draw her mouth to mine, slowly sliding my tongue in unison with hers. I have completely lost my mind, and I’ve lost it in her. Lifting her shirt over her head, I throw it on the floor, picking her up, so she’s wrapped around me, her body quivering as we kiss.

  “I love you, Paige.” I carry her over to the bed and lay her out in front of me, kissing every part of her as I try to convey everything I’m feeling in the way I’m touching her and loving her with my body.

  “I was so afraid you wouldn’t come back,” she whispers, as her nails drag along my back and she presses herself against me.

  “I’ll never leave you, Paige,” I whisper back, sliding against her body as we rub our arousal against each other.

  “I need you, Elliot. I don’t think I can breathe without you,” she murmurs as she tilts her hips, guiding my tip inside her. I freeze momentarily, locking my eyes with hers as she thrusts her hips upwards, urging me to enter her. “Just you, I need you,” she repeats, and I slide myself inside her, moaning at her hot wetness as she clenches herself around me.

  “God, you feel amazing,” I moan as we move rhythmically together in a sensual dance I’ll never have enough of. I’m crazy about her. I'll do anything to be with her.

  Clinging to each other, our mouths connect along with our bodies. We moan and whimper as we slide together, our climax building until we release it as one, gasping for air but refusing to part. If only we could stay just like this, unmoving forever. This is sheer bliss.

  As we lie together afterwards, I trace over her tattoo with my fingers while she rests her body over my chest. I can’t help but notice that out of everything she said just now, she avoided saying those three words that would mean the next five days would be filled with hope instead of trepidation. She never said she loves me, even though I fucking well know she does.

  Twenty-Five

  Paige

  “I can’t believe you’re quitting on me,” Andrea moans as I tell her my n
ews. “And in a week? How am I supposed to replace you that quickly?”

  “I’m sorry, Andrea, really I am, but I told Elliot that I’ll go back with him,” I explain. “Don’t hate me.”

  Andrea laughs as she comes towards me and gives me a friendly hug. “I could never hate you, Paige. I'll really miss working with you. To be honest, I was pretty sure this would happen when you and Elliot got your act together, and I’m so happy for you both. Do you think you’ll ever come back? Because I could always use you if you do,” she asks hopefully.

  “I don’t know what’s happening right now. I’m still kind of shocked I agreed to go.”

  “Well, you want to go don’t you?” she asks.

  “I want him. I just kind of wanted to stay here longer. There are things I wanted to do, but now I’ll have to put them off.”

  “Well then, that settles it. You must come back and when you do, you’ll work for me again.”

  I laugh at her boldness. It’s nice to be wanted. “All right, I’ll come back as soon as I can,” I concede.

  “Excellent, now get to work, missy. You still have to finish up all of your booked clients before Thursday.”

  “Yes, ma’am!” I say, saluting her on a laugh as I move towards the front of the salon and flip the sign on the door to open. Looking around, I let out a sigh. I’m really going to miss it here.

  Elliot

  “Good morning, Elliot,” Celsey sings out as I enter the gym for my last few days of work. “You’ve got a busy client list today. Everyone wants to get one final session in before you leave. Are you counting down?” She hands me a sheet of paper with my client print out on it.