Struggle to Forever: a friends to lovers duet

by Lilliana Anderson

  Through his chest, I hear Jeff say something. But I can’t understand a word of it. I’m lost in the embrace. It’s been so long since someone has held me.

  Eventually, he gently pushes me away and peers into my face smiling. His hand grazes my cheek as he brushes my hair back with his fingers.

  “Let’s go inside,” he suggests in a low intimate voice. “You can dance all night, and you’ll feel amazing. I promise.”

  Nodding, I follow Jeff and Tahlia up to the back entrance to the club. There, Jeff claps hands with the bouncer, who immediately lets us in.

  “Told you he was connected,” Tahlia murmurs in my ear. “And I told you he was hot too. He’s got his eye on you.” She giggles as she nudges my side playfully.

  The sound is deafening when we walk through the main doors of the club. Some sort of indiscernible music plays, and I can’t help but move along as the beat takes over my body. When the song nears its end, the DJ starts to splice a new one in. It’s a familiar beat, and the room starts to cheer and move more excitedly as Silento’s Watch Me plays.

  Euphoria replaces the blood in my veins as my molecules dance for me. Or with me. I can’t really tell. I just know it’s amazing, the song feels like it’s a part of me.

  In unison, the room bounces together, our hands in the air as we gyrate and shout the lyrics, performing the moves at the right times.

  Some guy, indistinguishable to me in the dark of the room, comes and starts to dance against Tahlia. She breaks off with him, leaving me to dance on my own. I’m feeling so wonderful that I couldn’t care less. I just keep bouncing along with everyone else, swaying my body and feeling the music vibrate along with my cells. Every piece of me seems to want to be a part of the beat, and I feel as though I have no control. I can’t do anything but dance.

  After a while, Jeff appears in front of me and starts to sway along with me. He is truly the most beautiful man. With his dark-brown hair, clipped close to his head and designer stubble sprinkled along his jaw line. I’m in awe.

  I can’t help myself, I reach out to run my hand over his head. I have this great desire to touch it, to feel the short spikes prickling into the palm of my hand. He grins as I do, and takes me by the wrist, pulling me closer to him. Our dancing slows, and he leans down to speak into my ear.

  “Have you ever been fucked, Paige?”

  He pulls back from my ear and stands in front of me, his eyes searching mine as he waits for my answer. I don’t give it to him. I don’t want him to know how inexperienced I am.

  His mouth curls in a half smile as he places his index finger onto his tongue, and then slips it inside his pocket. When he holds it in front of me, there is a small white pill stuck to the end of it.

  He holds it to my lips, and I open my mouth obligingly. But he pulls it back and shakes his head slowly from side to side, his eyes dancing as he watches me.

  “This one is going to cost you,” he murmurs in my ear.

  “I…I don’t have any money,” I stammer. “I’m sorry.”

  “I don’t want your money,” he says, placing the pill on the end of his tongue as he leans in close to me and brushes his lips against mine. “I want to touch you.”

  “Touch me where?”

  “In places you’ll love. I want to make you my girl.”

  “Your girl?”

  He nods. “Would you like to be my girl, Paige?”

  My urge to be important to him is so great that I don’t even think before parting my lips. I let his tongue—and the pill—into my mouth.

  “That’s my girl,” he murmurs, pausing long enough for me to swallow before he reclaims my lips with his.

  His mouth moves over mine, claiming me. The sensations rippling through me are amazing, the slick texture of his gliding tongue, the smoothness of his teeth as I run the tip of my tongue over them, and the softness of his lips.

  We sway together again, locked at the lips as our hands roam. I’m loving the feel of the fabric of his shirt under my fingertips, and the firm build of his chest as it presses against my soft one. Then his hand slides between us, his fingers tucking in the waist of my jeans.

  “This is the part where I touch you.” He locks eyes with me, and I nod, knowing I agreed to this, and wanting it as well. I don’t know if it’s the drugs or him. But the aching between my legs demands to be satisfied, and when his fingers find their way there, I almost lose consciousness from the contact. It feels so fucking good.

  He doesn’t enter me. He simply keeps his eyes on me as he teases my entrance, pulling his hand back out of my jeans then sucking his finger into his mouth. “Sweet,” he says. “Sweet sixteen.”

  Holy fuck.

  He pulls me back against him, hugging me against his chest as we slow dance to fast music. We stay like this for, I don’t know how long, but eventually the music cuts out, and the lights are turned on.

  Abruptly, he breaks away from me and calls out. My ears are buzzing in the absence of the music. But when Tahlia appears, leaning up against the guy she was dancing with, I realise he was calling to her.

  We all head out to Jeff’s car. I’m still feeling so wonderful that I don’t even think about the guy getting in there with us. I don’t even think about the fact that the house we arrive at isn’t Tahlia’s house at all. I just go along with it.

  I’m Jeff’s girl.

  Tahlia leads the guy she’s with into a room as soon as we get inside, leaving Jeff and I on our own.

  “You still feeling a little buzzed?” he asks, sitting down on the couch and patting the seat next to him.

  “A little,” I reply as I lower myself to sit where he indicated. I’m still smiling. My face hurts, but I can’t seem to stop.

  “I should probably apologise to you,” Jeff starts, creasing his brow as he looks down at his hands, and twists the gold band that adorns his thumb with his long fingers.

  “Oh, really. Why?”

  “Because I kissed you. A lot. I touched you too. I probably shouldn’t have done that.”

  “Why? Because you’re older than me?”

  “Well, yeah, and I was supposed to be looking out for you and Tahlia. I wasn’t supposed to be hooking up with a beautiful girl who is almost half my age.”

  Blushing, I shake my head, letting my curls fall over my face. “You’re not that old.”

  “I am, Paige. In five years’ time, our age difference won’t matter. But right now, it seems quite vast, don’t you think?”

  I bounce one of my shoulders as I chew my lip. “Does that mean you don’t want me to be your girl anymore?” I ask, disappointment blooming in my overwhelmed mind.

  He rubs his hand over his face and head, then leans against the back of the couch, looking up at the ceiling. “God, I still want that. But I bet if your father had any idea what happened tonight, he’d hunt me down and hang me.”

  “I doubt that,” I deadpan. “The man I thought was my father couldn’t care less what I do. And I’ve never met my real one.”

  He sits up, leaning a little closer. “What about your mother? Does she care?”

  “No. She kicked me out months ago.” My eyes lower to my hands, clasped in my lap.

  His brow furrows as he hooks a finger under my chin and lifts my eyes to meet his. “Are you serious? They just kicked you out?” I nod. “What for?”

  “For being me, I guess. I figure my mum had an affair, and I’m the result of it. I’ve always been treated differently from my brother and sister. I never felt wanted. Eventually, they just sent me away.” For some reason, I feel comfortable with Jeff and tell him everything I’ve been through so far. He sits quietly, listening to me as I unload.

  “That’s pretty messed up. Where are you staying now?”

  “On the couch in Tahlia’s garage.”

  “Are you serious? No, no, no. That’s not cool.”

  “Well, what else am I supposed to do? I don’t have any other family to stay with, and I’ve stayed with every friend I can. I’m
not entering the system either. I don’t want to go into foster care, or a home, or whatever-the-fuck they do with girls my age.”

  “Paige, you have other options.”

  “Oh yeah. Like what?”

  He shifts where he sits and turns to face me, taking my hand into his before he meets my eyes. “You might not want to hear this. But, a girl who’s good in bed will never be wanting for a place to sleep.”

  “What? No…I don’t know about that.” I laugh, feeling slightly uncomfortable with that idea. “I mean I’ve never…”

  He closes his other hand over mine and says, “I know. I can teach you if you’d like. I always take care of my girls.”

  His girls. My heart thuds solidly as I think about what it is he’s offering me. Not his girl. One of his girls. “Oh, um. Is that what being your girl means? Like being a prostitute?” I practically whisper.

  Jeff laughs. “No.” Thank God. “If you’re my girl, I’ll be the one who looks after you. You’ll ever have to sleep on an old couch in a dirty garage again.” He reaches forward and touches my face gently with the back of his hand.

  “You want to look after me?” This sounds too good to be true. “Here?” I look around the spacious lounge room.

  He nods. “You’re so beautiful, Paige. You should have seen the way other men were watching you tonight. It made me feel like I had to have you. You have a quality that draws men in, and I’d love to be the man who teaches you how to use this gorgeous body of yours to your benefit. A woman like you could use her beauty to have the world at her feet.” He chews on his lip as his eyes travel up and down my body. The expression on his face seems as though it hurts for him to look at me and not touch me.

  “Really?” Strangely, I don’t want to run. I’m not at all scared. I want him to touch me. I want him to teach me. I’m tired of sleeping on a couch. I’m tired of sleeping in a garage. I’m tired of silently begging, tired of feeling dependent on others. I’m tired of being a burden.

  I don’t know if it’s the drugs in my system, or if I just don’t want to feel like a kid anymore, but something makes me move towards him. I want him. Badly.

  My breathing becomes shaky as I close the distance between us and pause just before my lips connect with his. I touch them lightly at first, testing to see if he really does want me, or if it’s all talk. Even after all he’s done and said tonight, I still feel unsure of his attraction towards me. I’ve never really felt as beautiful as he’s saying I am.

  However, my worries go unfounded. I’m rewarded with a primal growl as his arms wrap around me, and he pulls me to him, deepening the kiss as I climb onto his lap.

  Exploring his mouth with mine, I rock my body against his, marvelling in the sensation of him beneath me as my senses come alive.

  A slight bout of nerves starts to bounce around inside my body when I feel the hardness between his legs as it presses against me. I don’t have much time to dwell on it though, because with one swift movement, he lifts me up and carries me to the bedroom, dropping me on the bed and holding himself above me.

  His kisses make their way along my jawline and down my neck, while his hand kneads my breasts. Sensations I’ve never felt before shoot through my body, zinging between my legs like some sort of electrical charge. All my nerves vanish. I’m in a state of pure ecstasy.

  Jeff slides down the bed slightly and lifts my top, kissing me softly next to my bellybutton before rimming it with his tongue. As his fingers skirt the edge of my waistband, I suck in my breath, feeling unsure of what will come next.

  “You will stay with me, Paige,” he murmurs as his fingers work to get the button of my jeans undone. “I want to teach you something new every night, every pleasure I can think of.” He undoes my zip and slides my jeans down my legs, revealing my white cotton panties. The burst of cool air against my skin causes my flesh to prickle with goose bumps. “When I’m finished with you, you will be an absolute master. No man will be able to resist you.”

  I gasp as he pulls my panties back slightly and kisses just above my mound, his fingers teasing me as they trace the elastic that runs around my legs. He hooks his fingers into the waistband and pulls them down, dropping them to the floor and revealing me completely, giving me nowhere to hide.

  I feel a mixture of nerves and desire as he sits back and studies me. “Open your legs for me,” he commands. I close my eyes, suddenly a little unsure of myself. “It’s OK. We can stop whenever you want to. Tonight will be all about you. I want to look at you. I want to taste you. I want to show you the best part about being a woman.”

  “The best part?”

  “Yes. When your legs are wrapped around a man’s head and your hips are bucking wildly because you can’t take it anymore.”

  My stomach jumps up as my heart thuds loudly against my chest. “I’m scared.”

  “Don’t be. Relax, my girl,” he coos, his voice so soft and gentle that I find myself letting out a slow steady breath before doing what he asked and opening my legs for him to see.

  “That is one very nice pussy,” he growls, rubbing his hands gently up and down my legs. “Hmmm. I’m going to kiss it now, Paige. OK?”

  “OK,” I whisper, the sound barely making its way over my lips.

  When I feel his breath, warm between my legs, I jolt involuntarily. The anticipation of his touch is just too much.

  “Have you ever touched yourself?”

  “No,” I gasp, as his tongue darts out and touches me lightly, right on a very sensitive spot that makes me quiver.

  “You should. It will help you know your body. Men want to please a woman, Paige. Just as much as they want to be pleased themselves. This,” he says as he kisses the sensitive spot again, “is your clit, and if I suck on it, and swirl my tongue around it, it gets harder and more sensitive. See?” He demonstrates, and I writhe beneath him, gasping for air as he shows me sensations I never knew I was capable of experiencing.

  “Ohhh!” I call out, as he sucks more firmly on my clit, sliding his tongue up and down so it enters me for a moment, before sliding it back up and circling my clit once more.

  The rhythm causes a sensation to build between my legs. It travels up into my stomach and sends tendrils of ecstasy swirling through my body, all the way to my fingertips and down to my toes.

  As the pressure builds between my legs, I find myself calling out more and more. My hands clench against the sheets on the bed, needing something, anything to grab on to as the feeling takes over me.

  My ragged breathing causes my throat to go dry. I move my tongue around my mouth and try to swallow. I don’t know what to do with this pressure, it’s more than I can handle right now. It feels amazing, but at the same time it’s scaring me. I don’t know what’s going to happen.

  “Jeff,” I gasp. “I feel… oh god!” I yell as the pressure explodes out of me. Colours flash before my eyes as my body jars in spasm. He grips onto my thighs and drives his tongue inside me, moaning into me as I continue to gasp and cry out until I can’t take it anymore and push on his head. “It’s too much. I’m sorry. You need to stop.”

  Lifting himself up, he wipes his mouth and moves up the bed so his body is covering mine while he takes his weight on his hands.

  “You taste amazing,” he whispers, before dipping his head to gently kiss me. I can taste myself in his mouth. It's something I thought would be strange to do, but it’s not as bad as I was expecting.

  When he breaks away, I can’t help but ask, “Um, is there something I need to do for you now?”

  He chuckles as he pushes himself up from the bed. “No, not tonight. Having you come in my mouth was all I needed tonight.”

  Once again, I blush. Having him talk the way he does is both intimidating and a turn on. There’s something about the way he looks at me that makes me want to be around him. When I thought he wanted to teach me to be a prostitute I had an internal freak out, but when he explained he just wants to take care of me and teach me about my body, I couldn
’t really see a downside. He’s gorgeous. He’s clearly loaded. And he just rocked my world in the most amazing way. And even better, he makes me feel wanted—seen. It’s something that has been severely lacking in my life, and I didn’t realise how badly I wanted to feel something, until now…

  Ten

  “So, Jeff tells me you’re staying with him for a while. Sick of the old couch are you?” Tahlia asks me the next morning after she’s said goodbye to the guy she took to bed last night.

  I shrug and press my lips together. Feeling as though I must seem a little ungrateful when Tahlia and her family have been nothing but welcoming to me.

  “I don’t have to stay. I can come back if you want.”

  She moves closer and sits beside me on the couch, tucking her legs beneath her as she leans her head against the back of it facing me.

  “Don’t be silly. I’d take the offer of a bed over that uncomfortable thing any day. I’ll miss you though. I’ve kind of gotten used to having you around.”

  The corner of my mouth turns up in a slight smile. “Yeah, we’ve had fun, haven’t we?”

  “The best. But don’t worry, we’ll still see each other heaps. It just won’t be every day.”

  Nodding, I sigh contentedly as I sit back against the couch. Quietly, I contemplate my life’s direction as I watch Jeff walk from the bedroom to the kitchen. The private grin he gives me starts my heart beating wildly in my chest.

  In my mind, l can actually see a way out of this state of homelessness I’ve found myself in. I can feel a sense of hope blossom inside me. A hope I might have some sort of normal future after all. With Jeff.

  Tahlia leans in close and whispers in my ear. “Don’t get too attached, OK? Just have fun. He’ll help you.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “What are you two whispering about?” Jeff asks as he wanders into the lounge room carrying a mug of coffee for each of us.

  “I was just telling her to watch out for the likes of you. You’re a known heartbreaker,” Tahlia informs him.