I Wanna Be Bad For You

by N. Carmouche

  “I know, but sometimes it’s like that, I guess.” I said, as I sipped the rest of my tea.

  “Girl, I don’t blame you. From the looks of this place, Shaad must have some fat ass pockets, girl, but you nasty motherfuckers need a maid. Don’t nobody want to see all these hand and booty prints all over the window.” She said, pointing to all the smudges on the glass from the other night. I nearly spit the tea that I was drinking across the room, as we both cracked up laughing. I made a mental note to do some housekeeping once we got back from our day out, but I couldn’t help but smile just thinking about how Rashaad had worked my body over.

  “So, umm, is Sasha going to meet us at the mall?” I asked Rina, as I shook the visual from my mind.

  “Yea, she said she was on her way few minutes ago, so whenever you ready, we can roll.” She replied. I bent over to lace up my new Gucci sneakers when I was hit with a wave of nausea. I ran back into the kitchen and expelled all the contents of my stomach into the garbage can.

  “And, there it is, Baby!” Rina cheered. “I knew this shit was coming, because I been watching them hips spread like hot butter!” I rinsed my mouth with warm water and looked at her cross-eyed, as she went into her Coach bag and pulled out an EPT test.

  “Rina, for you to be a damn lesbian, what the hell are you carrying around pregnancy test for?” I asked.

  “For your information, nosey! I’m bi-sexual, but stay out of my damn business, Baby! Plus, I was told that, if you stayed ready, you ain’t got to get ready, honey. So, all you need to know is that I have needs, and I’m ALWAYS ready for the outcome! Now, gone head and piss out some magic!” She laughed. I shook my head at her before snatching the test and heading straight to the bathroom to find out my fate. It only took seconds before those two blue lines popped up. I sat there in complete shock and disbelief for a few seconds before Rina burst into the bathroom.

  “I knew it! Yasssss, hunty. Rashaad done dropped bombs all up in them ovaries, baby!” Rina jumped and down clapping, as I stood there feeling mixed emotions. That was all happening too fast, even though it all felt right. Rashaad and I hadn’t discussed children in the short amount of time that we’d been together, and the fact remained that our relationship was still so new.

  I exhaled a long sigh, as I took a seat on the toilet. I stared at those lines so hard that I could see them even when I closed my eyes. That was a game changer for me, but regardless of what was happening, I was not going to put myself through another abortion. I’d never felt so sad and alone than when I’d aborted my pregnancy with Anthony.

  “Don’t sit there looking all down.” Rina said, as she walked over to comfort me. “I’ve seen how that man looks at you, Baby. I’m sure he will be happy, and hell, if he ain’t, we can just cut his ass!” She said, causing me to laugh and cry at the same time, even though I knew in my heart that she was dead serious.

  “You are crazy.” I said, as I wiped my tears away.

  “We all are. I just don’t hide the shit, but on the real, Baby, you know I got you, so don’t even worry about it. Now, let’s go spend your baby daddy’s money chile. This is a celebration!”

  I left the test sitting on the bathroom counter in hopes of Rashaad returning home while we were out to avoid me having to initiate the conversation. I knew that he’d probably be shocked, but I just wasn’t prepared to see disappointment in his eyes if he wasn’t happy. When he’d left the house earlier, I knew that he was headed out to the streets. I could tell that they had some heavy shit going on, and the last thing I wanted to do was add to his stress.

  Rina and I walked out and headed to the underground garage in anticipation of getting our shop on. I had taken over Rashaad’s Audi lately, and he had no complaints about it since he couldn’t stand my trusty Nissan, but despite how much he protested, I wasn’t getting rid of it, because it served as one of the many accomplishments of being self-reliant that I had. I gladly took every chance I could to cruise in Shaad’s luxury cars, though. Plus, that day, I really needed that dose of retail therapy, because my mind was racing in multiple directions. I was unsure if I was even ready for this. To be somebody’s mama was a big deal, after all, and I, for one, didn’t have the world’s greatest example.

  I dropped Rina off in the front of the mall where Sasha awaited us before going off the find a parking space. I pulled into the far corner of the lot, as not to park too close to anyone. I was one of those people who feared mystery scratches. Before I could unbuckle my seatbelt, I felt my phone vibrate.

  I rolled my eyes when I saw that I had a message from Tiara. After that night at the club, I had pushed the bull she had kicked my way to the back of my mind. I was fully aware that Mesha and Rashaad messed around before me, and it was always some basic bitch waiting to see someone happy, but hoping to fuck a good thing up when they think you don’t know about a nigga’s past. I was sure that using Tiara was yet another ploy for Anthony to try to destroy what I had going on, but if he thought anything would make me run back to him, he was sadly mistaken. I was over and done with him and everything he came with. My only regret was giving him so much power over me, in the past, by letting him take my virginity. I mean, I know I wasn’t the only female in the world that lost all sense of who they were after that first little taste of dick, but a fool in lust soon wakes up, and I was wide awake now.

  I opened the message only to find a video clip of this broad Mesha with a mouth full of my man’s dick. I felt the world closing in on me, as I noticed that Rashaad was wearing one of the shirts that we’d picked out together the day we ran into that bird at the mall. I could feel my blood begin to boil, as I sat there and watched Mesha giving the performance of a lifetime, as my so-called man looked like he was in heaven, so I knew that that only meant that he had been blowing smoke up my ass that whole time. I scared myself when I started laughing. I could feel the ice forming on my heart with every beat. And, to think, I was falling for that nigga and had just found out that I was carrying his baby.

  “Fuck this! I’m not about to be a weak bitch and play the fool for a nigga again!” I said out loud to myself, as I put the car in reverse and pulled out of the parking space. I began driving toward the empty section of the lot. I slowed the car down to about five miles per hour, all the while, fighting the sting of tears in my eyes. I, cautiously, opened the door and stepped out, letting the car continue to roll as I began walking my pretty ass towards the entrance of the mall. I heard the crunch of metal behind me, but I didn’t have to look back to know Rashaad’s beautiful Audi had crashed into the concrete column of the parking garage.

  I walked in the mall in search of Rina and Sasha to shop as we’d planned. Fuck that nigga! Ain’t none of ‘em shit! I thought to myself, as I swiped away with his Black card. I didn’t even bother to tell Sasha or Rina what I’d just done.

  Rashaad

  My fist slammed into the side of Ant’s face, and I could hear the crack of his jaw. Blood leaked from his mouth, spilling over his, once, white t-shirt. For the past two hours, he’d been in and out of consciousness as Meek, Drama, and myself delivered him the beating of a lifetime. Little did he know that that would continue until I got all the information that I needed from his ass.

  The slow approach on the shit that had been going on was past over when my mom called Meek and I this morning saying someone had left a counterfeit hundred dollar bill on her car with a red lipstick print on it. She’d called us initially to cuss us out, because she thought that, maybe, it was a random chick that one of us had dealt with, but we knew exactly what it was. Someone was reaching out to deliver a message, and whoever was behind those cash swaps was now taking shit to the personal playing field. That was never going to be tolerated.

  Meek had already called my pops on his burner line to let him know what was about to go down, so that it wasn’t a surprise to him and his partners. He’d given us the green light, but we’d both noticed the anger in his voice when we mentioned that the drama had spilled to our m
other’s front door.

  Meek threw a bucket of water on Ant to wake him from his beating slumber. He let out a blood curdling scream, as Meek erupted in uncontrollable laughter.

  “Nigga, did you just throw bleach on this dude, bruh?” Drama asked him.

  “Yea.” Meek cracked up, as Ant cried out in pain.

  “Yo’, something is wrong with you, my nigga.” I stated, as I shook my head.

  “What can I say? A nigga watch too many movies.” He shrugged. “Why y’all looking at me like that? The nigga is wide awake now, ain’t he?” He laughed again.

  I walked over to Ant, pushing his head back so he could look up at me through his swollen eyes. His skin had already started to blister from the bleach eating away at his wounds. Even if I decided to let him walk out of there, he would have definitely had to live with these scars for the rest of his life, but the last thing on my mind was letting that nigga breath after this.

  “You got anything you want to talk about, nigga?” I looked down at him.

  “Please, Shaad. Man, please, just don’t kill me! I’m so sorry man.” He begged.

  “Oh, don’t be sorry now, nigga. You should have thought about this shit before you started a war with a giant. Now, tell me what I want to know, and I promise you I’ll make the rest of your stay here painless.” With all the screaming Ant had done earlier, I was glad that we’d took him out there to an abandoned warehouse near the Indiana state line. He could scream all he wanted, but there was no saving him.

  “Fuck all that. It’s too late for all that sorry shit.” Meek yelled.

  “All…all I know is that this b-b-bitch said she owed y’all this.” Ant stuttered.

  “What’s her name?” I asked, calmly, as I untied his hands from behind his back and sparked the blunt I’d had tucked behind my ear.

  “D-d-danielle Lagarita. This Spanish bitch from up north. She said y’all niggas been in the way for far too long and offered to pay me to knock y’all out the game. Listen, man, I was bent behind you takin my girl man. I s-swear, all I wanted to do is piss you off and get a lil money out the deal. I wasn’t trying to take it to y’all family man, I swear!”

  I exhaled a cloud of smoke and looked over at Meek, who looked as confused as I was about this broad that Ant had just told us was behind all of this. The name didn’t ring bells for me, at all, so for the life of me, I couldn’t understand why the bitch would have beef with us. It was no secret that, in a short amount of time, we had definitely sent waves throughout the city, so it didn’t come as too much of a shock that somebody was feeling some type of way.

  I handed Ant the blunt that I’d been puffing on, and he, nervously, took it with his blood soaked fingers.

  “So, she broke you off for you to help her come at us. For what, though?” Meek asked.

  “All I know is the shit sounded like it was deeper than just y’all. She said that, because of your father, her daughter missed out on the good life.” He exhaled smoke, “I never saw the bitch with a kid, and she’s lived in the hood since I was a shorty. I just figured she was delusional, but I wanted that money. Her and her man was dead set on getting at y’all, though.”

  I snickered, as I watched how relaxed Ant had become, despite the fact that his face was disfigured and was leaking blood everywhere. Niggas will tell on they mama to spare themselves these days, I thought to myself. I watched him take another pull before I pulled my double edged knife from the pouch pocket of the hoodie that I had on and slit his throat. I watched in amazement, as the smoke that he’d just inhaled escaped into the air from the cut. Drama ran over to the corner and started throwing up.

  “You talking about me playing with bleach and you over here making niggas necks look like them elementary school science projects, and shit.” Meek said, giving me the side eye. But, what could I say? Sometimes, even the crazy shit comes naturally.

  “Man, shut up. You heard what this nigga said about this bitch having a connection to pops. Get him on the line.” I told Meek, as my own phone started to ring. “Aye, Drama, when you finish being a bitch over there, call Chiq and them to come clean this shit up.”

  With everything going on, I hesitated answering the unknown number, then I, immediately, dismissed the idea, because we had pretty much already declared war.

  “Dimé lo?” I answered, in Spanish. I always did the “no English” roll whenever I didn’t know who it was calling me.

  “Hello, is this Mister Rashaad Castellanos?” The caller asked, with authority.

  “Yea, who is this?” I furrowed my brow.

  “This is Victor Johnson, Chicago PD. I’m calling to notify you that we‘ve recovered your vehicle a few hours ago here at the Westfield Mall, in Oak Park.” He stated.

  “Hold up. What the hell you mean recovered?” I was confused. “My wife has my car right now. Did something happen? Is everything alright?” I felt my heart rate speeding up just imaging something happening to Devyn. We hadn’t been together long, but in such a short time, I could admit that I’d developed feelings for the girl. And with everything going on, I hoped, like hell, that that street shit hadn’t spilled over in her direction.

  “Ms. Marshall is fine. She’s provided us with a statement and claims that she must have forgotten to put the car in park before entering the mall. So, unfortunately, the vehicle ended up running into a concrete post here in the parking lot. There were no reported injuries during the incident. We just wanted to contact you to let you know that the vehicle is being towed to our Bellwood impound. You can come down and claim it any time after five, although there isn’t much to claim, honestly. The damage is pretty significant.”

  “Okay, thank you for the call officer.” I said, before hanging up. I was confused as to why Devyn hadn’t called me and told me what had happened, but then again, I was sure that she was probably just embarrassed for having an accident in the whip. Truth be told, I was ready to buy her a new ride of her own later on that week, anyway, so it wasn’t a big thing. I, quickly, scrolled through my phone until I found her name and hit send, but my call went straight to her voicemail.

  “Yo’, Pops said he on the next thing smoking to the Chi.” Meek said, as my fingers typed away at a text message to Devyn.

  Me: Call me and let me know you cool. Don’t worry about the whip, Ma. That’s small shit.

  And, I quickly hit send. The icon on my IPhone displayed, immediately, that Devyn had read the text, but since I didn’t see that she was typing, I placed my phone back into my pocket.

  “But, yo’, check this shit out. That Danielle bitch is Pop’s other baby mama, so whatever kid this nigga mentioned is most likely our so-called sister.” Meek informed me. “Pops didn’t want to get into it too much on the phone, though.”

  “So, it looks like we about to have long overdue family reunion, huh?” I mumbled.

  I was in disbelief at what had just been revealed to me. If my father was crossing state lines while pending his current charges, I knew shit was about to get real, but the first thing I wanted to do was make sure my mom was straight. We decided to make a reservation for her in the downtown W hotel until we figured that whole thing out. If that woman had gone as far as leaving subliminal messages where my mother laid her head, I was convinced that she must have known more about us then I initially thought.

  What I couldn’t understand was why, after all of those years, would this chick just pop up to start causing drama. To my knowledge, my father had always tried to keep track of where my sister was. He even set up an account for her even though Danielle had never hit him up for any type of child support.

  We mapped out a plan and went our separate ways before the arrival of our father. Plus, I needed to go check on my girl and see what the fuck was going on.

  Devyn

  Before we’d even left the mall, I had already called my landlord and requested that I switch apartments. I knew that the apartment across the hall was empty, and it would be an easy move for me to execute in such a
short amount of time. Rina and Sasha were in shock when we’d walked out of the mall and seen the mobs of police cars surrounding the area where Rashaad’s Audi now rested with the entire front end crushed against the cement pillar.

  “Baby, what the hell!” Sasha exclaimed. “Somebody don’ fucked Shaad’s car up!”

  I just stood over there, stone-faced, before I looked over to Rina. My cousin knew me too well, because she picked up on my vibe, quickly, and raised her eyebrows as she shook her head at me.

  “Devyn Lanay Marshall, what the fuck you do that to that man car for?” Rina said, a little bit above a whisper.

  “Hold up, Baby, you did that. Oh shit! What’s the tea honey? We need to ride out on this nigga or what? Let me know?” Sasha said, placing her hand on her hip.

  “I know you didn’t lose your mind, because of the baby, Devyn. Did you tell him? Did he say some stupid shit? I told you we can cut his ass. I got our bail money. What’s good?” Rina started going off. “Cause you know bullshit is my middle name, and we can be ON it! You hear me?”

  “What a minute. You bitches ain’t just about to blow pass this shit about a baby now! Devyn, you pregnant? Oh, my God!” I could tell that Sasha was shocked, as I nodded my head in response to her question.

  “Listen, y’all. I just need you guys to help me find some muscle to help me move my shit from my house by the end of the night.” I sighed. “I’ll fill y’all in on the way back to my place.” My mind had already been made up. I was done dealing with the bullshit that came with relationships. I was okay with the fact that I was pregnant. Hell, I was doing adult things so it only came with the territory, but I refused to put up with anymore messy situations with the niggas that I had dealt with.

  “You know we got you, hun.” Sasha said. “I’m going to go pull my car up, and we can get this show on the road, but what you gonna do about this?” She pointed toward the police.