Burden

by Lila Felix

  “I don’t even know where you work,” I pointed out to Hawke. Rev rumbled a laugh next to me.

  “We all work for the same construction company. It’s owned by my uncle, the clan leader in Caddo parish. I run the faction down here.”

  “Ahhh, that’s where the muscles come from.”

  Rev cleared his throat next to me, loud enough to make sure we knew it had nothing to do with a tickle in his throat. Pictures of Hawke hammering nails and lifting boards floated around in my mind and Hawke began to look uncomfortable. Another thing he could sense. I’d have to keep that under wraps as much as possible—which was extremely difficult when I was sitting next to him.

  “Alpha, may I ask what you wanted to speak to me about?”

  Hawke took a deep breath and reached down to hold my hand, “I haven’t spoken to the Coeur about this yet. And, of course, if she has any reservations, it won’t come to pass. But my Betas are all my friends. They are young and inexperienced like myself. I know that Tarrow is in over his head and Flint’s wife is about to have twins. I think that I could relieve them both of their positions, give them a break—by asking you to be my Beta. I would keep River and Aspen. Would you consider being my head Beta, Rev?”

  The fierce male said nothing, just looked out the window. He stayed that way until we reached a parking lot of a place that looked, from the display windows, as if it sold TVs. If the boy came to buy more TVs, I was going to go nuts.

  We got out of the car, and Rev opened the door to his side and walked around the front of the truck. My eyes were so wide at the seriousness of his face that they hurt.

  Without any warning, he got on one knee and bared his neck fully—not the half bared neck most bears did casually. It was a proper, complete submission to his Alpha with his face nearly to the ground.

  “It would be my greatest honor to serve you as Beta, Alpha pair above all Alphas of the Great Bears.”

  There were humans all around us gawking. I bet they thought my mate was getting a very generous proposal. But the gesture was aimed at us both. It made me feel like the most humbled person in the world.

  “Rise Beta. Thank you. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a full bow. We’ve chosen well,” He looked over at me, cringing at not getting my opinion on the issue—but I trusted his decision. And from the respect and honor Rev had just shown my mate, I knew he’d chosen well. I nodded just in case he needed extra confirmation.

  Rev rose and I swore as we began walking he wiped his face on the inside of his bicep. He was the kind of clan member I wished I could be—and I was supposed to be the Coeur. Hell, I didn’t even know how to pronounce it correctly, yet. We all looked a little too serious, so I tried to lighten things up, “Now he’s gonna expect me to bow to him like that. Good job, Rev.”

  “It’s only reserved for very special times. Anyway, the Coeur bows to no one.”

  He didn’t get my joke.

  “What are we doing here, Hawke? I hate TV.” I reached for his hand and threaded his fingers with mine. He looked down at them clasped together like he’d momentarily forgotten that we could hold hands. Then he brought them up to his mouth and kissed mine.

  “I’m buying my Beta a tool.”

  Rev and I shared a look. We stayed at the place for hours. Finally Rev walked out with a new computer, a new printer, external hard drives and the works.

  “We forgot to stop at the electricity company,” I said, when we were almost home.

  “Thank you, but I called them while you were gone. They have to call me back with the tally of how much credit we’re owed.”

  We got home, Rev looked confused. He didn’t know whether to go home or stay with us. Hawke clapped him on the back and told him to come back the next afternoon after Hawke had gotten home from work. He left shortly after, leaving everything in the living room—except the laptop, that he took with him.

  I curled up on the couch in the same quilt from the other night and wished I had a book.

  “Do you have books?”

  “Of course, there’s a bookshelf under the stairs. Didn’t you see it?”

  “No. I’m going to explore tomorrow.”

  I got up and sure enough, under the stairs on the opposite side of the living room were books mostly non-fiction but one shelf, a shorter shelf at the bottom was filled with Nicholas Sparks books. I’d read a few, tossed aside by clan members, but not all of them. I needed something to take my mind off the very intimate process that would happen soon. I plopped back down on the couch with that quilt and my new book.

  “Do you mind music,” Hawke asked.

  “Not at all,” I answered, looking over the top of my book, secretly watching every move he made. He straightened some of the books and moved the printer and other things into his office. A piano played soothingly in the background. I kept watch but he never came back from the office.

  “You have to look at the book in order to read. Just a tip.”

  He was right behind me and I nearly jumped out of my skin. I must’ve screamed loud enough for the entire clan to hear.

  “I’m sorry, Echo.” He didn’t even try to suppress his laugh.

  “That’s ok. I’ll get you back.”

  “Scoot up,” he urged me and I did, knowing that there was just so long before he would join me.

  He sat behind me, shoes now off, and I laid back against him.

  “Those were my mom’s. She only read Nicholas Sparks—and she always cried. My dad hated her reading them. So she would only read when he was at work or in his office and then she’d hide them on the bottom shelf.”

  I put the book down, he’d never spoken much about his mom.

  “You don’t talk about her.”

  He pushed my hair over my left shoulder and held me around my waist. Then he let out a sigh, warm and strong against the back of my neck. Then I felt his forehead in the same place.

  “She was always quiet. Not just that she was a quiet person—like she was afraid to talk—to say anything wrong. Horace’s mate reminded me so much of her. She was so loving to me when my dad was gone. But as soon as he came into the house or the room, she froze. I don’t think he hit her. I never saw bruises or anything. But I do think he abused his power as the Alpha with her and the rest of the clan. I wasn’t all that sad when he died. It’s horrible to say, but I was relieved. I thought my mom would be happy to be free of him. And then the next day she died—she just stopped breathing in her sleep while she was taking a nap. We hadn’t even buried my dad yet. So then we just buried them together. And for her, I mourned.”

  I burrowed myself deeper in his hold, knowing that our nearness would help him.

  “How could he do that to her? She was such a good female. She acted as if everything I did was a freakin’ miracle of nature. If he would’ve nurtured her the way he should’ve, I know this clan wouldn’t be where it is today.”

  “I’m sorry. You loved her. I hope one day my children talk about me like you talk about her.”

  Our cubs—mate—mine—mark. I giggled a little at the pure joy my bear took in hearing about our future children.

  “That feels fantastic,” he said.

  “What?” If I was doing something that made him groan like that, I needed to know what it was—so I could repeat it often.

  “I feel you, her, your bear. She was completely contented to hear you talk about cubs. That’s the first time I’ve felt her. It’s you, but it’s like I can feel you and my bear can feel your bear. It’s amazing.”

  “I never heard her before you. Now we’re almost inseparable.”

  “The closer we get to completing the mating claim, the more we will become in sync—us and our bears.”

  “I talked to Martha about your gift today. She’s going to help me make it.”

  “Good. I’m glad you have a friend. How long do you want to wait?”

  “Not long, I know we have to complete everything before the next full moon, but I would like to as soon as pos
sible.” I confessed with a breathless voice. And I didn’t. I knew that we were destined to be together. I no longer had any doubt.

  “Thank God,” he responded.

  We spent the rest of the afternoon and into the evening just like that, letting his music flow through the room and him reading over my shoulder into my ear. Audible books had nothing on my mate using his baritone voice in my ear reading me a romance novel.

  As the day wore on, I could sense her anticipation grow. But what we were about to do, we would remember it for the rest of our lives. She must’ve been on the same lines of thought because she shut the book and turned around to face me.

  “Are you hungry?” She asked me.

  I couldn’t resist, “Not for food, my heart.”

  She blew out a very heavy breath and gave me a hint of a smile while the blush spread over her face.

  “Is the moon out yet?”

  “It’s rising.”

  She rose on her knees and taking my face in her hands, pressed her lips to mine and the rest of her melded to me on cue. I grabbed her hips and tried to get her even closer. As the kiss deepened, a noise erupted from her mouth and it was more animal than woman. Bear and man fused within me. I nipped at her bottom lip, begging for her to bid me entrance. I needed my tongue on hers, to feel them move together in a dance I’d never known, but craved like it was candy I’d yet to taste. My mate, the female I’d always desired let me in without hesitance. And this time, the moan came from me. Before I knew it, we were caught in a frenzy of desirous energy. She was amazing. She moved her mouth, her lips, her hands in ways that brought me to peaks I’d never fathomed. And it was just kissing. Her emotions flipped at once and love and lust were covered in a film of anxiety and shyness. I pulled away, never wanting to move too fast for her. I wanted every memory of us like this to be treasured, not something she wished she could do over again.

  Not completely willing to let go, I kissed her jawline and her neck while we both somewhat recovered from the escalation we’d reached.

  “I’m going to take a long, hot bath. I’m so nervous.”

  “There’s nothing to be nervous about. You’ll see. It will become pure instinct.”

  “I hope so. I’ll see you in a bit.” She kissed me once more, slower this time and then went upstairs. I didn’t hide the fact that I watched her climb the stairs, enjoying the sway of my mate’s hips, the curve of her backside, her legs that seemed to never end.

  “I see you,” she said as she reached the top.

  “Oh trust me, I see you too.”

  She was still giggling as she entered the bathroom but I didn’t let myself uncoil until I heard the water run.

  Everything in me called for her, my bear, my heart, even my blood called her name.

  I may not make it through the night. What a blissful way to die.

  Folding up the quilt and returning the book to the shelf, I turned off the music, grabbed the iPod, and took the stairs two at a time getting to my room—our room. Shucking my shirt, I sat on the edge of the bed and let her anxiety pour over me.

  There was no use in trying to stop it. She would just have to work through it. I waited what seemed like hours until she came into the room, dressed in a pink top with whispers of straps and some black shorts. Martha was getting the best Christmas present in the history of Christmas presents.

  “Come here,” I held out my hand to her. She took it but never lifted her eyes to meet mine. “Breathe, Mate. It’s just you and me. Nothing you say or do can ever change this,” I pressed my hand to her heart.

  “I’m ready. Do I need to say anything?”

  She sat next to me, and I made sure to look in her eyes when I spoke, “You say, ‘I submit to the mating claim and mark you as my mate.’ The rest will come naturally. But first, I want you to know something. I’ve waited for you all of my life. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to keep you safe—even from myself. Do you trust me?”

  “Yes, I do.”

  “Then mark me, Coeur. Make it known to everyone that we belong to each other.”

  She stood, placing herself in front of me, took my hands and gestured for me to stand. I got to my feet and before I knew it, we were wrapped in each other. Her on her toes, me bending down to meet her. As we kissed, her nervousness faded and was replaced by another emotion, wild and vulnerable at the same time. We broke free and she breathlessly, in a fury of emotions, snaring me in her eyes, proclaimed, ‘I submit to the mating claim and mark you as my mate.’ Her bear had taken over, knowing it could guide her better than me.

  And then she sunk her teeth into my shoulder. Pain was fleeting, pleasure took over soon after, and made my life complete. I felt her teeth at first, but then a sensation overtook it, a warmth, a healing heat coupled with her love for me and the sealing of our verbal claims.

  “Echo, I submit to the mating claim and mark you as my mate.”

  I bit her in the same place, and for a split second before, my bear was confused, torn between hurting her and marking her. Until my teeth hit her flesh. And then the decision was made. It was for her protection, for her safety and because of my love. Now I knew. I knew she’d never want or need for anything. She’d never be hungry or overworked again.

  She was mine. And I was hers.

  “Wake up,” her voice was in my ear and above it, I could hear the blaring of my phone alarm.

  No, I’m not ready.

  “It’s your alarm,” she giggled, her face now on my chest.

  “It’s too soon. I just want to stay here all day with you.”

  “I would love that more than anything. But I have things to do, plus Martha and I are going to start on your gift and you can’t be around to see it. Plus, there’s that whole ‘I manage a construction company’ thing.”

  I groaned and hefted her up so her face met mine, “Must you be so sensible?”

  “Yes,” she answered, but her eyes were on my shoulder. Pride slammed into the both of us as we recalled the night before, that and desire.

  “It’s already scarred. That’s my healing.”

  “I know. I felt it. It was mind-blowing.”

  “Mind-blowing, huh? What time do you have to leave the house?”

  “Flint is picking me up at six fifteen. I didn’t want to leave you without the truck. And you have your phone.”

  She laughed, “I’m going to be fine. Tell me what you want for dinner.”

  “You.”

  “You have me.”

  “Then anything. I don’t care. I have to get up but I don’t want to.”

  “I’m going to make you breakfast.” She bolted from the room and I was left with no choice but to get up and get ready. I seriously debated showering, knowing that her scent was all over me. And my bear wanted everyone to know that her scent covered me and mine covered her.

  “The mark covers all those bases now,” I said to myself as I dropped my shorts, eyeing the mark in the bathroom mirror. I showered quickly wanting to spend as much time with her as I could before leaving. It wasn’t the mate claim that had me on edge about separating myself from her. It was just me. We were still in the honeymoon phase, so to speak, and I wasn’t ready for it.

  I threw on some jeans, a white t-shirt and a red flannel button down shirt, grabbed my socks and shoes and ran downstairs. She’d made French toast and sausage. And I could’ve kissed her just for remembering the coffee. I wrapped my arms around her middle as she poured two cups full and put a debit card next to her.

  “I’m going to the bank today to add your name to the account. I need your social security number and your full name. Wait, I don’t know your full name.”

  “Echo Marina Valley. I don’t know yours either.”

  “Hawke Matthias Turnclaw, my father was Matthias. Now, go sit. I get to serve you today.”

  “Fine,” she sat at the table and had a piece of paper and a pen next to her.

  “What’s that?”

  “A list. There’s stuff that needs t
o be done around here until I can get a job.”

  A full on machismo fit pounded into me, it was my bear, and I could barely subdue it.

  “You don’t need a job,” I wasn’t barking, just stating a fact. I put her plate in front of her.

  “So what am I supposed to do, just mooch off of you? I can work just like every other female around here.”

  Her anger was bubbling to a simmer.

  “It’s not mooching, it’s letting your mate take care of your monetary needs. Plus, we are announcing to the pack that a lot of the things they’ve been working for will now be taken care of—the females won’t have to work anymore. And with them home, maybe we won’t have so many school issues.”

  She pushed her plate away. I was about to get a real taste of my female’s anger. I could just feel it.

  “So, let me just get this straight. Are you telling me I can’t work?”

  She emphasized the word ‘can’t’. What the hell? How had this morning changed from bliss to anger so damned quickly?

  “No, I’m not saying that. You can do whatever you want to do, go to school, work, whatever. Are you saying that I’m not worthy enough to provide for you?”

  “Whatever. I will just stay home.”

  “No, really, if you think I can’t provide, then by all means go to work. I just think after twenty years of basic slavery you’d want to rest. I just want you to be happy. I can’t decide for you. Let me know when I get home, please.”

  The honk of a car horn broke the tension—a little.

  “I guess I’ll see you tonight, though this is not the way I wanted to leave.”

  She was looking out the window, a clear message to me, or so I thought. I threw on my socks and boots on the last step of the stairway. And that’s when I decided something. It didn’t matter if she didn’t want my love—I was gonna give it to her anyway. So I strolled into the kitchen, kissed her forehead and then kissed her mark, my mark and then left.