EXONERATION (INTERFERENCE)

by Kimberly Schwartzmiller

  I started to get nauseous again. I dropped my head into my hands, trying to ebb away the dizziness and queasiness. It didn’t work, seconds later I was running back to the bathroom, throwing up the remains of my stomach contents. I sat there, staring at the porcelain bowl, wondering what was wrong with me.

  “What’s that all about? Do you need a doctor?” he asked, standing over me with a wet washcloth.

  “No, I’m fine. I don’t know what it is…maybe I ate something I shouldn’t have.”

  “Well, do you need anything?”

  “No. You can go to work. I’ll be fine.”

  “I um, I’m sorry about…what I said before. I know you’re with me. I just, I wish it was every night. I miss you Rebecca. I do love you…so much.”

  I stood up and said, “I know you do. I’m trying, Parker. I really am.”

  “Well, maybe we can try for a baby? I don’t even care if it’s a boy. I’ll be happy either way. As long as I have you!”

  I managed a small smile. “Are you sure you’re prepared to go through that again? You almost passed out when I had Shannon,” I actually smiled, remembering his terrified expression.

  “Well, I was a little shocked. But, I’ll be prepared this time. And, I’ll be there from the beginning. I’ll run and get you whatever you’re craving, at any hour of the night. I’ll tie your shoes when you can no longer reach or see your feet. I’ll rub your aching back…”

  “Sounds enticing,” I laughed.

  “Sounds wonderful,” he said, looking nostalgic.

  “Well, I guess you’ve already proven you can handle me throwing up. I did a lot of that when I was pregnant with…” I stopped talking and started thinking…counting days… “Oh, my God!”

  “What?”

  I looked up into Parker’s eyes. “What’s the date?” I asked.

  “The 20Why?”

  “No, no it can’t be!”

  “It’s the 20. Look,” he said, holding out his cell phone.

  My face went pale.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “It…oh, um…I just forgot to make the house payment!” I lied. My head was spinning.

  “It’s okay. I can drop it off at the bank on my way to work, if you want.”

  “What?” I said, my head reeling.

  “The payment? I’ll drop it off.”

  “Oh, no, it’s okay. I haven’t written the check yet. I’ll probably just pay online. I have some errands to do once I get Shannon off to school anyway. Have a good day,” I said.

  “Are you sure that you’re okay?”

  “I’m fine…really.”

  Signs and Symptoms

  The second he left, I headed to my day planner. “29, 30, 40…oh, no, 55 days since my last period. Fifty-five days since…How could you be so stupid!” I was too old to deny the signs and symptoms this time. Nausea, vomiting, sore and swollen breasts, and a period that was late by over three weeks…there was no denying it! I was pregnant.

  I dropped Shannon off at school and ran to the drug store to confirm my suspicions. I was racing back home, and suddenly I decided I wasn’t in a hurry to face it. I drove up to my favorite coffee hut and ordered a decaf vanilla latte. I looked down at the drink. You know it’s true or you sure as hell wouldn’t have ordered decaf!

  My hands were shaking as I reached down to pick up the test stick. I wasn’t the least bit surprised when I saw a big + sign in the test window. Oh, God! This can’t be happening…again. Why can’t I remember to use birth control? But, I had used birth control the night I was with Parker, which meant only one thing; I was carrying Shane’s baby…again!

  I was determined to take good care of my baby this time, so I immediately walked over and called Dr. Emory’s office and made a prenatal appointment. Then, I looked around, thinking I should keep busy…or something. I had to take my mind off of it for a while. I started cleaning windows, but found myself back in the bathroom vomiting again. I was exhausted, drained from the stress in my life and now that I was pregnant, I knew it was only going to get worse. I put my hand on my tummy and said, “It’ll be okay. Even though your daddy and I aren’t together, we’ll still be there for you. He’ll love you, I know he will.”

  As I listened to my own words, I realized I was right. He would be there, but not just for Shannon and this baby, but for me as well. I couldn’t tell him last time, but I sure as hell would tell him this time! I stood up and brushed my teeth again. I grabbed my purse and walked out the door.

  I drove to the clinic intent on telling him about the baby right away. He missed out last time, and I wasn’t going to let it happen again. I didn’t care about the consequences, I loved him and I was determined to work something out.

  I walked into the clinic and the receptionist obviously remembered me, “Hello Mrs. Hayes. Is Snowball doing okay?”

  “What? Oh, yes, she’s fine. I um, I need to talk to Shane…Dr. Ramsay for a minute, please.”

  “Well, he’s with a client. It shouldn’t be too long.”

  “Okay. I’ll wait.” I walked around the reception room, getting more and more nervous every second. I knew the longer I waited the harder it was going to be, so I finally just walked through the door that led to the exam rooms, spouting something about needing to use the restroom.

  “But…it’s out of …”

  But, I was gone and not listening. “Shane!” I called.

  “Rebecca? What are you…are you okay? Shannon?” he asked, walking over to me.

  “Shannon’s fine, but um, I’m not okay…I’m…” Just then Annette Williams walked out of his apartment in the back, adjusting her skirt and looking flushed.

  “Hi Rebecca. How are you? I missed you at the last fundraiser,” she smiled while sidling right up next to Shane.

  “Oh, um, yeah. I didn’t um…volunteer at the booths….um, I did the flyers…what, what are you doing here?” I asked, irritated to see her anywhere near him.

  “Oh, I was just getting some advice from the good doctor here.”

  “You don’t have any pets.”

  “I know, but I’m thinking of getting one,” she smiled up at him with obvious longing.

  She had just come from the back…the room where his bed was. The bed we slept in and probably conceived the child I was now carrying. Suddenly I was sick again. I ran outside to get some fresh air. Shane followed after me. “Rebecca, what’s wrong?”

  I was bending over by the car, trying to keep my latte down and catch my breath.

  “Nothing, I’m fine,” I lied, standing upright.

  “What was that all about? Why are you here? Not that I’m not happy to see you.”

  “It was a mistake,” I said, breathlessly. I was desperately trying to quell the nausea tumbling in my stomach. “I have to go. You’re picking Shannon up today, right?”

  “Of course. It’s Wednesday.”

  “Yeah, okay. Um, can you drop her by the club tonight? We’re um, we’re going out to dinner with my parents and my sister…and um…celebrating,” I mumbled.

  “Yeah, okay. I can keep her late…if you want.”

  “No. Just drop her off at six. I’ll meet you by the front door.”

  “What are you celebrating?”

  “Sam’s getting married, and she’s um…she’s pregnant.”

  “Oh, that’s great. Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine. I um, I have to go.”

  He grabbed my arm, gently. “What is it? Why did you come?”

  “I just…wanted to tell you…where to bring Shannon tonight.”

  “Rebecca…?”

  “I have to go. Go on back…to Annette,” I said, unable to keep the jealousy from my voice. I got in my car and drove off, wondering how I could ever have believed he still loved me.

  I showered and dressed in a new blouse which I noticed seemed to be pulling on the buttons, making them gape in spots. This made me angry. I had fallen for him again, only to be betrayed by him once more
. I knew he hadn’t left this time, but I thought it would have been easier if he had left me instead of taking up with that woman.

  I pulled out a dress, opting to try and hide the evidence of my adultery from my family. I knew I couldn’t hide it for long, but I needed to think about what I was going to do. I knew I couldn’t stay with Parker, whether or not Shane was in the picture, or not. I didn’t love him and it was time I stood on my own two feet. I had a good job, even if it was one I didn’t like. But, it gave me the option of raising my children on my own.

  “You look…radiant,” Parker said from the doorway.

  “Thank you.”

  He walked up to me and leaned down and kissed me. It was quick, so quick that I didn’t have time to even think of turning away. “You’ve made me so happy. I love you, Rebecca. Are you ready to go?”

  “Um, yes. I just need my purse.”

  Parker was non-stop jabber all the way to the club. I tried to pay attention, and I must have mumbled and nodded at the right times, so he just kept talking animatedly. My thoughts were on Shane…Shane and Annette. I couldn’t get the picture of her coming out of his room out of my head. I knew I shouldn’t be angry. I had no right to expect him not to have a lover. He was a man, and as Parker always said, men have needs. I was foolish to think he would be true to me when I was offering nothing in return.

  I was completely lost in my thoughts and didn’t notice Parker pulling into the club parking lot until my door was opened by the valet. I walked inside and Parker immediately put his arm around me and led me to our usual table in the back of the club. I looked around at all the people I’d known for years. I noticed Annette was in the opposite corner with her parents. The sight of her made my nausea return full force. She smiled and waved as if nothing had happened, as if she wasn’t stealing the only man I had ever or would ever love.

  My face went sheet white and of course it didn’t go unnoticed by my mother.

  “Rebecca, are you alright?”

  I turned to face her, thankful for the distraction from the other side of the room. “I’m fine, Mom. Just tired.”

  We all sat down and Parker ordered Champagne for the table and a bottle of sparkling cider. When the Champagne came, he filled four glasses with Champagne and two with cider. I watched him, wondering what he was doing. He handed one glass of cider to my sister and the other one to me. He smiled at me and I realized…he knew.

  “A toast to my sister-in-law and my new niece or nephew,” then he turned to me and said, “And to my wife,” he looked down at my stomach, “and my new son or daughter.”

  “How did you…?”

  “I saw the test in the bathroom. I couldn’t be happier.”

  “Oh, Honey! Both of my girls are giving me new grandchildren?” my mother said, hugging me tight.

  My father was the next one to pull me into his arms for a congratulatory hug. I wondered if they’d still be this excited if they knew who the father was. I glanced up at my sister and she saw right through me. She gave me a soft smile, knowing I was torturing myself.

  “When were you going to tell me?” Parker asked, pulling me down next to him after my parents were through hugging me.

  “I um, I just found out…today. You um, you didn’t give me time.”

  “So, when’s the big day?”

  “I um, I don’t really know…yet.”

  “What big day is that?” Shane asked, standing at the head of the table.

  I looked up at him and I was suddenly angry. He did it to me again. No, I let him do it! I was, once again, carrying his child…and once again, I’d have to do it alone. I managed to hug my daughter and then I said, “Stay with Grandma, I need to talk to Shane for a minute.” I looked up at him, anger evident in my eyes.

  “Okay. Let’s go,” he said, grabbing my arm.

  “Get your hands off my wife!” Parker seethed, but knew better than to lunge at him this time.

  “Relax, Hayes, she just needs to talk to me. I’ll keep my hands to myself.”

  “See that you do!”

  I walked him to the door and said, “I told you to meet me at the door at six!”

  “I was at the door at six. It’s now 6:20.”

  “Oh, I didn’t realize.”

  “What’s wrong with you? Why did you come to see me today?”

  “I told you, I needed you to bring Shannon here.” I was shaking and he could see it. He started to reach out to me and then stopped. The next thing I knew, he leaned down and kissed me. I started to pull away but found I couldn’t. He wasn’t holding me to him, obviously remembering his promise to keep his hands to himself, but I was holding him.

  When he pulled away I was crying. “What is it? Rebecca…?”

  “I’m sorry. It’s nothing. I can’t talk about it right now.”

  “Meet me tomorrow morning after you take Shannon to school. I’ll move my appointments to the afternoon.”

  “No, it’s okay.”

  “Rebecca, we need to talk. I can’t go on like this anymore. I love you, and I know you love me.”

  This enraged me. Here he was professing his love for me, kissing me and all the while he was carrying on with Annette Williams. “You love me? Really? Because you have a really strange way of showing it! You left me…alone and pregnant seven years ago. And now, you’re sleeping with Annette. I don’t want to do this alone again! I can’t!” I sobbed.

  “I’m not sleeping with Annette! Are you crazy?”

  “I’m not stupid, Shane. I saw her come out of your apartment, straightening her dress…”

  “She used the restroom in my apartment. The clinic restroom is broken! I didn’t sleep with her. She came on to me, but I told her to leave. I have absolutely no interest in her whatsoever! I love you! I always have and I always will!”

  He looked so sincere. I wanted to believe him, I needed to believe him. I didn’t realize it, but my family was standing behind me. He knew it and he didn’t care that he professed his undying love to me in front of them.

  “You can’t fall for his crap again, Beccs!” Parker said, grabbing my arm.

  “Don’t call me that!” I turned on him. “I hate that nickname.”

  “I’m sorry…it’s habit. You’re tired. You need to rest. Let’s go home, okay?” he said, putting his arm around me and leading me away from Shane. But, I wasn’t done. I needed to know something, and now was as good a time as any. I pulled away from Parker and faced Shane. “Why didn’t you come back for me when you got out of jail? Why?” I cried.

  “I did. That’s the first thing I did. But, you were already married. I didn’t want to believe it, but when I saw you in your yard…you looked so happy. I didn’t want to ruin it for you.”

  “I wasn’t happy. I haven’t been happy since the day you left.” I knew Parker heard that, but I couldn’t lie anymore.

  “But, you were happy. You were planting seeds and I watched you sit back on your heels and smile.”

  “I was planting wildflowers. I plant them every spring.”

  “Wildflowers?”

  “Yeah, you gave me wildflowers the first night you came to dinner at my parent’s house. I’ve loved them ever since.”

  “I thought you were happy with your life. I didn’t want to hurt you again.”

  “You didn’t come to me. You just left me wondering what I did wrong.”

  “I wrote to you…every day for a year! You never wrote back.”

  “Rebecca, let’s go!”

  “Shut up, Parker! This doesn’t concern you,” I said, and then turned to face him, “Or does it?”

  I turned to my parents. “Did I get letters from him?”

  My mother looked away, refusing to say anything. She was a dead giveaway. I glared at my father. “You kept them from me? Why? Why would you do that? How could you do that?”

  “He was a thief, Rebecca. A liar and a thief!”

  “They were my letters! Where are they?” I was still crying.

  “I
threw them away…” he said.

  “Not all of them. I still have some, Honey. I’m sorry. I didn’t want to keep them from you. You were just…so fragile at that time. He’d hurt you so badly, I didn’t want to see you suffer anymore.”

  “So you lied to me? I want the letters! NOW! Tonight!”

  “Okay. I’ll um, I’ll dig them out.”

  “Rebecca, this is crazy. You saw the video. You saw him take the money with your own eyes.”

  I turned to Shane. “Can you explain that?”

  “I…”

  “He’s a liar! You can’t believe anything he says!”

  “SHUT UP PARKER! I need to hear him say it!”

  Parker was fuming, I could see it, but he did as I said. I turned back to Shane.

  “I borrowed three hundred dollars that night. I had my paycheck, but I didn’t have time to go to the bank and the jewelry store. I was going to make the deposit in the morning and replace the money from my check when I cashed it.”

  “The jewelry store?”

  “Yeah, I picked up your ring that night. I had the money, Rebecca, I just couldn’t make it to the bank before the jewelry store closed and I couldn’t propose without the ring. So, I borrowed the money.”

  “You went to jail because of my ring?”

  “No, I went to jail because someone had it in for me…and set me up.”

  “Who?” I asked, completely oblivious.

  “Does it matter?”

  “You heard him, he explained. Now, let’s go home, Rebecca!” Parker said, pulling me away.

  “STOP pulling on me!”

  “You’re my wife! We’re leaving…NOW!” he ordered, pulling me along.

  I was confused. I turned back around. “What about the money?”

  “I told you…I was just borrowing it!”

  “Not that money, the money from my dad?”

  “What? What money?”

  “He’s a liar, Rebecca. He’s only telling you what he thinks you want to hear. Let’s go! You’re carrying my child now, and you shouldn’t be getting so upset.”