The Toll

by Jeanette Lynn

  “Magic out the bum, curses and enchantments, bonding, mates, but vampires are ridiculous? Is it really that far a stretch to wonder?” Giving him a dark look as I pulled back, he tugged me close and hoisted me up his chest, hands automatically pawing my ass to steady me as my arms wove around his neck.

  “Suppose not, but it isna true. Vampires are a load of shite.” Smirking, he leaned in, almost nose to nose with me as his eyes swirled, burnt orange flames bathed in bright, citrusy orange, licking across his irises to melt with teeny tiny flecks of blue towards the pupil. “Something the little people made up to scare all their young. Scarin’ little orange haired bits ‘o’ nothin’, frightenin’ their little nuggets into not goin’ out at night an’ all that.”

  Biting the inside of my cheek as I glanced between us, I closed the distance, my mouth just a hair’s breadth away from making contact. “Mmm. That so?”

  “Yup,” he grumbled, inhaling my scent deeply, a deep rumble following, “be sayin’ it’s so.”

  “Good. And since I’m not afraid of the dark, you, or an impeding rogue vampire attack, it won’t matter if I do this.” Giving him a decent look of my own, I pulled back just enough to flick the end of his nose, twist the end of his ear, then slap his rather round grey rump, hard, ready for it when he barked out a surprised shout, went to grab all three offended appendages at once, and dropped me right into the water.

  Kicking my legs furiously, I spun and swam for shore hard, arms pumping with all my might as I tried to reach it before he caught up. Just on the bank, I scrambled up, choosing to climb over the mud caked lip, which was quite faster, as opposed to the spot a bit farther out that tapered into a flat, sandy area.

  “Demon wench!” Troll bellowed. “Get back here, now!”

  Rolling over as I flopped out, I ignored all the muck I was mired in, tripping over my own bare feet as I stumbled to get up. Once finally upright, hands on hips, I faced him.

  “Something doesn’t feel right,” I said finally, ignoring his murderous glare, ignoring the heat of his eyes roaming over me. There was possession there, clearly, and my insides, as well as certain other, more prominent parts of my anatomy, warmed at the thought. Mine, those pesky instincts shouted. “I-I feel...” Trying to figure out exactly what it was I was feeling, how to put it to words, my lips pulled down into a moue of distaste, brows dragging down, and my fingers rapt on my naked hips, tapping away steadily as I attempted to sort myself out.

  “An’ what would ye be feelin’, nugget? Me pain? Hmph. Evil woman.” Rolling his shoulders, muscles bunching and flexing with the motion, he growled, “Now, quit her blatherin’ an’ get back in here. Gettin’ this over wit’ now.” Troll, equally as displeased, if for an entirely different reason, was still rubbing his ear, waist deep in water, glaring up at me. Waving his hands in front of the water, he stared down at it for what felt like forever before his eyes shot back up. “Afore I canna,” I thought I heard him mutter, grimacing before he cleared his throat really loud.

  Face slowly lifting, my eyes widened. I’d been thinking about everything since it all happened, one crazy event after another, and then-“You wanted her to fix us, as in... sever the bond? Not something else, like be able to be apart for an extended period of time. You want to cut ties completely.” Instantly, I was hurt and then appalled at the thought, shock mixing in there for good measure. “But you know that isn’t possible...” A huge, dread filled knot filled my stomach. “What are you planning on doing?” Swallowing hard, a huge lump formed in my throat. “You know we can’t... I can’t... It would kill us!” When Troll just stared up at me, bare arms folded over his massive chest, muscles wet and gleaming with water, flexing in the muted sun, expression implacable, I went on. “The way you’re talking... You’re going to try and ‘fix’ this somehow,” fix us, I thought silently, bothered by the thought inexplicably, “but you already know there’s no real fix...”

  Troll’s face tightened and he growled, motioning for me to go to him. “Come, nugget, an’ I’ll be explainin’, just like ye wanted, yes? Alright? We’ll even have that wee talk ye’re blabbin’ ‘bout.”

  Stumbling back, my expression tightened too, a short, sharp stab of pain making me wince. “No,” I shook my head, “you’re lying.” His words, I knew immediately, were false. As he spoke and I stared down at him, perplexed, my worry rising by the minute, heart pounding as adrenaline pumped through me, I knew he wasn’t telling me the truth. My sense was kicking into high gear, every false word that spilled from his lips pricking me like poisoned darts, aimed right for the middle of my chest.

  ‘Gift of the bonded, submit within. Take the source, claim it wise. Repercussions never bias.’ I don’t know why the words came to me, sang to me softly in my head, spilling from my lips, but as I whispered them and a wash of dizziness enveloped me, everything started to slowly unravel.

  “The heart.” Troll’s eyes met mine evenly as my bright blues bore into his. “The heart. They’re talking about the heart, and love, aren’t they? ‘Gift of the bonded, submit within’.” Wringing my hands, I clenched them together to hold back the trembling. “You would give your heart to the one whom you loved, and typically, one’s self—your virginity—which would represent the blood sacrifice.”

  “Or me bite,” Troll muttered, running his tongue along his teeth as he eyed my neck surreptitiously.

  “Cursed is thee who gives too free. Doubly cursed are ye who too freely take, yet never give. Cursed in love,” my head bobbed along as I spoke, rubbing at my nape absently, “it makes sense. Give yourself too freely, physically,” Troll growled when I muttered, “—sex—yet never freely take. Holding yourself back? Giving without giving? Taking too freely, without any meaning...” I’d started pacing back and forth, a strip of wet earth smooshing under my feet, the bit of leaves and grass mixed in squishing wetly with every chaotic step I took. “Help me out here, Ornthren. Feel free to nudge me in the right direction.” Lips pursing every time I looked to him, he had a different emotion drifting across his rather cross mug.

  “No, nugget, but maybe, an’ yet maybe not right. Dunno, an’ dinna matter, either way. Ye canna break the curse, any more than the next.”

  “Hm? What?” Stopping dead in my tracks, I felt more lost than ever. “But doesn’t it? Can’t it be... I mean...” Jaw tightening at what I took as him playing games, I snapped, “Explain.”

  “Guess ye could be sayin’ the meanin’ slips, an’ ye canna break it unless ye plan on breakin’ me.” At my blank look he sighed. “Open ta interpretation, as it were, eh? What it be meanin’ fer me, willna mean fer ye, an’ something else fer such an’ such, but it be bollocks, either way.”

  “Wind said curses could be broken,” I argued.

  “Wind is an eejit. Cursed, ye bear it, wear it. Isna fixable. Nugget,” he snorted, arms stretched out wide. “I be the curse, ye see? It ends, fer me, when me body lies cold an’ dead, an’ the last of me kind croak out. Least, that’s how I be figurin’ it. An’, speakin’ ‘o’ curses, an’ riddles, an’ such, ye wasna exactly virginal, if we was ta go by what ye be thinkin’, when I met ye, hmm?” Satisfied with his crack pot answer, he nodded, waiting for me to...? Pat him on the back?

  Hah. I wanted to sock him, right in his boxy-jawed, hairless kisser.

  Throwing my arms up in exasperation, I growled, “You were my first.”

  Flashing a teeth baring smile that was more of a snarl, he hissed, “An’ I’ll be yer last.”

  Eyes flashing electric blue, I shucked off his stupidity. “But what I said makes perfect sense, and what you say makes no sense. It needs meaning.”

  “Tis a curse, nugget. Rubbish, either way. Was it supposed ta?”

  “Yes!”

  “No’ always how it works.”

  “It should,” I groused, still bent on deciphering it.

  “Says you.”

  “You aren’t helping any.”

  Troll’s massive shoulders shrugged and his arms fel
l limply to his sides. “That’s life, then ye die. No use trippin’ over yerself over it, tits over arse, tryin’ ta figure it out.” Glancing around at our surroundings, he let out a slow breath and closed his eyes.

  “But wouldn’t that, I don’t know... fix this all somehow?”

  “If I’d’ve known that, would I be bonded to a carrot-topped wench with too big a mouth, an’ not enough sense to suit her? Hmph.”

  He was being mean again, intentionally. One second I’m his—he’ll be my last, the next I’m the biggest regret—poor, him, stuck with a whiny human twit.

  And here we are again, ‘round and ‘round. “So... you are going to kill us, then?” Over my dead body!

  Oh, lord. My hand slapped over my mouth as I growled, as if I’d said the words aloud.

  Letting out a loud, annoyed huff, Troll didn’t bother opening his eyes, fingers playing in the calming waves. “Never said nothin’ bout killin’ ye, ye dramatic harlot.” Jaw jutting forward more than humanly possible, a grinding noise issuing from his tightly sealed lips, he grumbled, “Now, get in here, right quick. Wasted enough fuckin’ time as it is, an’ ye’re makin’ this all harder than it needs ta be.”

  ‘Do to ye as does to thee, never harm and never flee. Feel it ill, sicken still. The body lives, the mind divides. Heed the warning, claiming Ornthren. Distance weakens, minds do forth rend.’

  “No. We can’t. You know we can’t,” I whispered it aloud, horror etched onto my face. “Have you lost yourself completely? We’ll go crazy if you separate us.”

  Troll cracked an eye open, studying me curiously. “Says who?”

  He’d just confirmed it. He’s going to separate us somehow. “You!” My finger thrust out at him. “You told me it would make us mad if we were apart for too long, and, you know,” my mind went back to the dream and the jail-type magical cell he’d been held in, “well, you remember, you could have.” Sort of did, more than you already are, you daft male.

  My hands were wringing anxiously again, the need to run and hide, as if somehow that could delay whatever he had planned for us a little longer, riding me hard.

  Whatever he’d devised, my gut said it wouldn’t be good. Run. Run. Hide.

  “Only if ye gave it back.”

  Staring down at him, I froze, pinned in place. “Gave what back?”

  “Ye know.”

  My hands went to my chest, pressing between my breasts.

  My heart.

  I couldn’t take mine back any more than I could convince him to willingly hand over his. “You already know the answer to that.”

  “Oh, be knowin’ what ye said.” Eyeing me speculatively, his tone called me the liar.

  ‘Take the organ, keep it safe. Ignore the missive, reap the fate. No toll will save a bonded break’.

  I caught it almost too late as I prepared to rush him and wrap my hands around his too-thick neck, attempting to strangle his obstinate Ornthren behind. “You’re just trying to rile me up so I’ll storm over there.”

  Cocking his head, he raised a condescending brow. “I am, eh? It workin’?”

  “No, just like whatever you think you’re going to do won’t work.” I’d already accepted my plight, our plight. My lot in life has already been set. There’s nothing to do about it now, except to accept it.

  Don’t want to leave him, the little voice in the back of my mind whispered. Mine.

  Grunting, he muttered, “Ye’ll be leavin’ that ta me.”

  “I don’t,” I mumbled, in my own little world. I don’t want him to leave.

  “What now?” Troll grumbled.

  Dropping my hand from where it was picking at my lower lip, I marched toward the edge of the water, a foot shy of the end.

  Shoulders back, spine stiff, chin held high, I announced defiantly, “I think not.”

  Moving slowly closer, Troll murmured low, a dangerous purr to his voice that set my teeth on edge, “Ye think not wha’?” So, now he wants to play ignorant? Alright.

  “This is all you being a coward again,” I accused.

  “Not a coward, ye wench. Even a dafty coulda figured it out by now.”

  “Enlighten me.”

  “Maybe I dinna wanna be saddled with the likes of ye. Ever figure that one, nugget?”

  Lies! “Bull.”

  “Oh? Thinkin’ highly of ourselves now, is we?”

  “Bull shit!”

  Snorting, Troll smiled slowly, a shit eating grinning spreading across his dark lipped mug. It was mean and condescending. “As ye like, luv.”

  Crouching down, I bent forward on my hands and knees, fisting the grass, leaning towards him when he shot across the distance, his lips pulled back in a teeth baring snarl as we bumped noses.

  “Oh, yeah?”

  “Yes,” he hissed, eyes flashing black.

  My runes lit up, blue eyes lit, and I nipped at the tip of his flat nose. “You want me.”

  “I be thinkin’ not.”

  “You love me.”

  “Love yer pussy.” Smirking, he tilted his head slightly. “Big difference. Love it wrapped ‘round me hard cock as I pound inta ye, grippin’ me tight, nothin’ more.”

  “No, y-you said-”

  A deep, mean chuckle leaving him, he muttered, “Maybe I be better at lyin’ than ye think.”

  Flinching, I ignored the jab and the swift pain that followed. “You’re bluffing.”

  “Ye’re stallin’.”

  By this point I was ready to scream. “Prove it!”

  Fast, Troll gripped my shoulders and dragged me in, ignoring my shriek and shouted out expletives as I slammed into him. As he clasped me to him in a bone crushing hug, his lips dove at mine.

  Arms pinned to my sides, I could do nothing to retaliate, his mouth taking mine voraciously, ardently, until I finally folded, swallowed up in him, the mounting urgency riding him, and kissed him back. Bodies heated, skin to skin, the reaction was instantaneous—we ignited. Our teeth clashed, tongues tasting, lips devouring, as we both went at each other hungrily.

  Just when it was all getting to be too much, building to the point where I thought I might burst from wanting, Troll trailed biting kisses down my neck, nuzzling his mark on my shoulder.

  “I’m no’ a coward, nugget,” his deep voice murmured, low and husky. Working his way back up to my lips, he kissed me hard one last time before pulling back to stare deeply into my eyes. “Nothin’ cowardly ‘bout it.”

  “Say it,” I called softly, brushing my cheek with his sweetly as I closed my eyes. “Say it and mean it, and I’m yours.”

  Lids squeezing shut tight, he stilled, holding me just like that, breathing hard against my skin, warm breath fanning my sensitive nape.

  Opening his mouth slowly, lips parted, I’d thought he was about to do just that as he breathed in slowly. Holding his breath, chest puffed out, he cupped my head, tucking it into his chest, fingers tightening.

  “Troll?”

  “Hold yer breath,” he muttered, voice thick and low.

  “What?”

  Jumping up high in the water, he shot up, my body tight to his, then dove down, deep, deep down, until we settled at the bottom.

  When it was apparent he wasn’t going to let me go or resurface any time soon, the lake bottom and all of its plant life wading around us, my mouth opened in a panicked shout.

  As my heart started pounding frantically, beating wildly against my chest, his eyes flashed and his runes lit up, the water responding in kind.

  No! NO! He is going to kill us!

  “Liar! Traitor!” I roared, bubbles rushing out of my mouth as it opened wide, clawing at him as I tried to wrench free.

  Troll mouthed something I couldn’t make out, arms holding me bruisingly, eyes sad and solemn. The water swirled around us fast, knocking us angrily from side to side, spinning and spinning in some kind of crazy, whirling pool as it kicked up around us, eventually swallowing us whole.

  The center opened, a wall of cylindrical water,
churning mercilessly, from all sides, effectively trapping us.

  When the current was strong enough, Troll humming quietly in the center, muttering strange words as his body vibrated, closing his eyes, he hummed lower, changing the tune.

  Closing in on us slowly, the violent waves spinning around us shrinking, and that’s when I felt it beating at my flesh. Terrified, I cried out, hissing, and that’s when Troll let go, the swirling water sucking me right into its vortex. Reaching out for him, my hands slid over his, digging into his shoulder as I tried to hold on for all I was worth.

  “No!” I shouted, never to be heard. “Don’t do this!” I mouthed, begging, feeling my nails raking down his arm as my grip slipped.

  He did nothing, just watched me go, fisting his hands on his thighs as I clawed and scratched at him, screaming his name. Tortured orange eyes meeting mine, he mouthed something I couldn’t make out.

  “I loved you!” I bellowed, glaring into his gaze, my own runes lighting up.

  Closing his eyes shut tight, shutting me out, I sucked in a mouthful of water as his runes lit up, glowing bright, a sharp, zapping sting shocking me as I tried to clutch at him, sending me flying back.

  The raw pain on his face as his eyes popped back open, wide, and the ache in my chest as I flew back, tossed closer to the surface, was the last thing I’d remember of him as I was sucked in, tumbling end over end, up and up, and then out.

  “Ahhhh!” screaming bloody murder, I shot up, my hands slapping to my sweat dampened chest, running all over my body to make sure I was well and truly alive. Letting out a startled shout, I glanced down, blinking stupidly at the clothes I’d fallen asleep in. Plucking at a sleeve, I grimaced. They were soaked to the bone. “What... Where? What?” Head snapping about, my eyes darted around, chest still heaving as I gasped in huge gulps of air, taking in the lumps of hay and a ratted blanket underneath me, comprising the makeshift bed I’d slept in.

  The room smelled stale and slightly moldy, an old, musty, acrid mildew scent permeating the air. There was a crack in the window over my head, little slits of sunlight streaming in, blinding me with their intense light.