Broken Mirrors

by A. F. Dery

  “So perhaps your expectations were set a little too high, that doesn’t mean they were based on fantasy, Thane. So you aren’t infallible. The rest of us get on all right without that privilege, you know.” So intent was his scrutiny of his own hands that he nearly jumped when a cool, tan hand suddenly covered his own, his eyes flying to hers. She was standing so close to him that he could smell her, all soap and some strange sweetness that he couldn’t identify, but did not dislike.

  She squeezed his hands. “Hear her out, before you condemn yourself this way,” she urged. “I know she didn’t like me, but honestly, Thane, I can’t imagine her going that far over it. Not that I knew her all that well, but still. I can’t bring myself to believe that you were all wrong, all this time.”

  “She felt like you were out to annoy her personally just by remaining here, Kesara,” Thane said gently, pleasantly surprised to find his voice working properly. Perhaps Ytarens breathed more air than normal people, he thought, for he was certainly finding it difficult to breathe normally with her standing so near.

  “People feel a lot of things, but she would have had to stoop to actual dealings with other foreigners to betray you, wouldn’t she? Would I have been worth it to her?” Her tone was skeptical, her eyes intent on his face.

  That did give him pause. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “You may have become so if she thought you were threatening her interests.”

  Kesara frowned a little. “Her interests? You mean her job?”

  “No.” It was suddenly so hard not to grin that it was almost intolerable. “I mean me. There were, ah, rumors, that she would have agreed to an ‘arrangement.’ Not that anything ever came of those rumors.”

  “You mean...oh,” said Kesara, her blue eyes widening. To his mixed disappointment and delight, she flushed red beneath her tan and stepped away from him, as if suddenly realizing she might appear to be posing a threat to those very interests at that very moment. A small, choked sound escaped him before he could stop it, unable to quite smother the urge to laugh.

  “I know, it’s ridiculous,” he admitted.

  “It’s not any such thing!” Kesara protested. “It’s only...well...Cook?”

  “Try not to think about it too hard,” he suggested. “I wouldn’t want you to go blind or anything from that mental image.”

  Kesara laughed, startled. “Why would I...I have to suppose that Eladrian men prefer women like Cook- or, rather, Eva. Or either of them, they do look a lot alike.”

  “You think so?” Thane tried not to smile. “I don’t. We all look the same to you, do we?”

  Kesara shook her head a little. “Not all of you.” She appeared thoughtful for a moment, then hesitantly asked, “Thane, do I look like a child to you?”

  He frowned, wondering where this was going. “No,” he said slowly. “Are you one?” He forced himself to keep his eyes politely trained on her face. She didn’t look anything like a child below the chin to his recollection, he thought wryly.

  “No,” she said just as slowly. “But I’ve heard the other servants say...well I was just wondering.” She stopped suddenly, looking a little pale. “I feel kind of badly about Darius now.”

  “Darius?” Thane raised an eyebrow. This was rapidly becoming the strangest conversation he’d ever had with another person.

  “Everyone’s waiting out in the hall,” Kesara reminded him.

  “Oh...yes, well...” Thane made what was probably a rather macabre show of clearing his throat, then said, “I suppose it is past time to face whatever is going on, then.” He regarded the Ytaren woman curiously. “But I very much want to continue our conversation afterward. You never did quite tell me what happened with my steward that caused you to nearly take flight in my very corridor.”

  Kesara made a polite, noncommittal noise, demurely lowering her eyes, and he shook his head. He wasn’t going to leave it go this time. He had more answers than that one to get out of her this day.

  Thane took a step towards the door and hesitated, glancing down at her. “Er, thank you, Kes,” he said awkwardly. He hoped she would not press him for any elaboration on that, and she did not. She looked up at him again with an odd half-smile and said nothing, so he added gruffly, “Now for gods’ sakes, go sit down!”

  Thane followed Kesara out into the hall, noting to his satisfaction that the soldiers who were supposed to be guarding her had been waiting in the corridor. He wasn’t sure his heart could handle much more disappointment in one day. He saw her settle herself on the chaise without any apparent difficulty.

  Something just isn’t right about her, he thought grimly, but he was having trouble mustering the conviction he felt was due. He shook his head a little and turned back to the expectant chief magistrate, signaling with his hand for the man to call the assembly to order. He did so, and Thane looked again to the middling woman behind the stand. Cook- now Eva- looked distinctly nervous now, her face white as chalk and beaded with sweat.

  Thane cleared his throat as the room quickly hushed. “Eva, would you care to revise your last statement about not having any personal contact with a non-Eladrian in the past year?” He was proud of how serene he sounded. He could lie as well as any kitchen worker, he thought bitterly.

  “But I have not, m’lord...I mean...not really,” Eva stammered. Her hands twisted the hem of her omnipresent beige apron, her brown eyes suspiciously bright. “I mean...” She bit her lip and looked down at her hands. “I, uh, did have a bit of a...well, understanding...with a Court messenger...I mean to say, m’lord, he just passes through now and then, and it didn’t mean a thing to me! I don’t consider him a lover as you said, or a friend...just...” She trailed off, finally looking back at him with anxious eyes.

  Thane stared back blankly. “You’re having sex with a Court messenger? Where does the betraying-your-Lord part come in, Cook- beg your pardon, Eva?”

  Eva drew herself up to her full, not unimpressive, height. “You make it sound so dirty, m’lord, but it was just a distraction, I tol’ you, it didn’t mean anything. I never did betray you! Why, if we’d had an understanding, it never would have happened!”

  A murmur broke out in the crowd behind her at this pronouncement and Thane barely stopped himself from rolling his eyes.

  “I don’t really care if it ‘meant anything’ to you, Eva. As you said, we had no understanding, and no plans for one that I was aware of. Did the two of you discuss Keep business at all?”

  “No, m’lord!” Eva said, then casting a nervous glance at Graunt, she quickly amended, “Well, sort of, I suppose. I mean, we would just talk about the goings-on. You know, nothing secret, just those little bits of news, innocent tidbits, and he’d tell me the same about things happening at Court. Nothing that would interest m’lord.”

  A dawning awareness came to Thane. He said slowly, “You told this messenger about your demotion, didn’t you.”

  Eva hesitated, then nodded. “Yes, m’lord, of course. I may have complained a bit about that foreign bit of goods,” here she jerked her head towards Kesara. “She’d no right to come traipsing in taking work from good Eladrians. It was all fine and well during the ague when no other hands could be found, but now? She has no business here. And no business with yourself when there’s good Eladrian women going begging, if you ask me.”

  “I didn’t,” Thane said coldly. Eva bit her lip again, releasing her apron hem from between shaking hands. “Is there any chance your, eh, bed partner would have arranged something to vindicate you for your unfortunate setback?”

  Eva’s eyes widened in surprise. “Surely not, m’lord. We weren’t close like that or anything. I never did ask him to, and I don’t believe he would have cared enough about it to do something himself. I told you how it were, m’lord.”

  Thane looked to Graunt but she remained still, giving him a slight shake of her head. Eva was telling the truth.

  But there remained another possibility. The messenger could have been involved with someone at Cour
t, someone who could have profited from the “innocent tidbits” he had picked up from the woman who was once Cook for Lord Eladria.

  Someone like Malachi, who for all his introversion, had a greater presence at Court than Thane ever had, surely all the more true since his marriage. The High Lord’s servants were generally loyal, but they did not have the Eladrian reputation.

  However much shadow that reputation is in at the moment, Thane thought darkly. But if it Eva’s words were true, then she had not betrayed him after all, and her only lie had evidently been out of some presumption that he would be offended at her involvement with another man.

  It was too bizarre to contemplate. He realized as he finally noticed the cringing of the people around him that he’d unconsciously begun to grin. He ignored them and turned to Kesara.

  “You were right,” he said.

  She smiled back tentatively but did not venture forth the “I told you so” that he justly deserved. He turned back to Eva.

  “In spite of your pique about her, this same foreigner defended you to me, Eva. She did not think you would betray me.”

  Eva glanced over at Kesara, surprise mixing with the dislike on her face, making her resemble a scowling deer, if deer could scowl. Thane bit back a laugh and continued, “It is not a crime by our laws to mix with foreigners. I dislike the idea that one of my most trusted servants- that is to say, once most trusted,” and at this emphasis, Eva winced, paling, “gossiping about Keep business with outsiders, but it does not appear that you revealed anything that was meant to be kept secret. I find your behavior imprudent, but imprudence is not unlawful.” Thane paused, briefly considering an amendment to his people’s code of laws, then dismissed the idea with a vague shudder when he considered the upkeep that would be involved in enforcing such a thing. “In any event, I do not need gossips in my Keep. Because of your careless talk, whatever your intentions were, an innocent woman- whatever her origins- was abducted by her former slaver and brought to serious harm when she was supposed to be under Eladrian protection. Not a fact that disturbs you at all, clearly, but it does me. You will be finding employ elsewhere, Eva, and I can hardly recommend you at all under the circumstances. However, I find you guilty of no crime. You are free to leave at once.” Thane gestured to one of his men who came over briskly. “See that she is taken directly off this mountain. Have another servant pack up her things and send them along, I do not want her lingering here. The guards are to be notified that she is not to be allowed re-entry without my express permission,” he instructed in an undertone. The soldier nodded once, saluted respectfully, and went to one of the soldiers guarding Eva to relay the instructions before disappearing from the hall.

  Eva had begun to cry, again wringing her apron. “M’lord, I’ve worked here most of my life! None will employ me without any kind of reference. All these years of faithful service, and you would cast me out for a bit of pillow talk?”

  “I would remove you from my service because trading idle gossip with a bed-mate matters more to you than keeping Eladrian business in Eladria,” Thane said coldly. “I also find it a tad hypocritical that for all your reported disgust of foreigners, you have no trouble carrying on an affair with one. But your private affairs are, of course, your own. That is not why you are being discharged.”

  Eva shook her head rapidly and began to stammer something out, but having received their instructions and Thane’s curt nod of dismissal, they each took one of her arms and led her away, protesting incoherently.

  Thane motioned to the chief magistrate, who began calling the names from the list Darius had compiled.

  It took the rest of the day, but the other names all were innocent of any crime. The only true rupture in his security had been Eva’s gossiping, and that this was not a willful betrayal of him and his country was absurdly comforting.

  Still, it was news that Thane did not relish the prospect of sharing with the High Lord, that one of his servants was evidently in league with Malachi against one of those in the High Lord’s favor. These things, alien as they were to Thane’s realm of experience, were all too commonplace at Court, but they were still far from glad tidings, and accompanied as they would be with a distinct lack of progress on the project the High Lord had tasked him with, he was not at all looking forward to their next meeting.

  Of course, there was still time for that project. It would be some days yet before there was any chance of hearing from the High Lord. But first he had to hear the petitioners, who had been forced to wait another day while he sorted out the whole sordid mess with Eva-formerly-Cook, and more immediately, he was long overdue for a discussion with Kesara. He still meant to find out whatever Graunt was trying to keep from him about her. He was not a man meant for worrying and hand-wringing in the night, but for facing his foes head on, an impossible task when he was fumbling about in the dark.

  Thane arranged for dinner to be brought up to his tower and told the men guarding Kesara to bring her there while he changed out of his ceremonial robes. When he emerged from his bedchamber, she was seated at the same place as usual, and the thought warmed him. She smiled when she saw him then reddened as she remembered what she was supposed to be doing, quickly trying to get to her feet.

  He waved a hand nonchalantly, struggling against his own smile. “Oh, don’t, Kes. At least, not til the bandages are off. Come to find, my servants babble enough as it is without adding more fuel to the fire.”

  Kesara subsided into her seat with a rueful glance at the servant who stood near the table, waiting silently to be service with a suddenly pale face.

  “We won’t be needing you,” he told the woman shortly. She curtsied and hastened from the room. Kesara bit her lip and he raised an eyebrow.

  “Go on, I know you’ve got something to say,” he said, amused.

  “There’s no need to be nasty with them. They weren’t the source of the trouble, you know,” Kesara said carefully.

  “Nasty? I’m not being nasty, believe me. They can hardly blame me if I’m not too keen on their company after the day I’ve had. Good gods, I was convinced there for a moment that everything I held to be true was nothing but self delusion. Now I know that perhaps my zeal was a little too great, but the basic premise at least was not wholly inaccurate.” Thane sighed, sitting down. “What a day, Kes. Since you came up those tower stairs, it’s as if the world’s gone mad.”

  “Yes, I do tend to sow madness in my wake, my lord,” Kesara said skeptically, and he laughed.

  “Maybe it’s a Mirror thing. I wouldn’t know, given that I know next to nothing about Mirrors, and what little I do know may not even be, shall we say, the whole story.” He had meant to hold off introducing the subject until they’d eaten, but with the opportunity so clearly presenting itself, he could not resist. He looked at her intently, watching her reaction for any minute flicker that might add to his knowledge, but her face was blank, her gaze unwavering.

  “I would be pleased to tell you whatever you want to know, my lord. You know my lot is cast with you now no matter what happens,” Kesara said calmly. Thane relaxed, his lips spreading in a smile before he caught himself. He looked down at the table laden with food and said, “I have plenty of questions, but let’s eat first. I’ve not had anything all day.” He considered that as he speared a chicken and frowned. “I suppose that means you haven’t either. I did not mean to deprive you. You had only to ask and something would have been brought for you. Normally there are breaks in the proceedings for that kind of thing, but under the circumstances, I preferred to get through the dreadful business as quickly as possible. There are actual petitioners waiting to be heard, and they’ve certainly been kept waiting long enough.”

  “I understand, my lord. You don’t need to justify yourself to me, of all people. Besides, I can go without food as long as any Eladrian can, you know,” and she flashed him a look that suggested challenge. He raised an eyebrow.

  “Oh, can you, now?” His tone dripped with doubt. “You real
ly think so? You’re so much smaller than ‘any Eladrian,’ though. I would imagine you need more frequent feedings than we do.”

  “So sorry to disillusion you, then, but I obviously don’t, or I would have dropped over by now, wouldn’t I?” Kesara’ voice was nearly flat, but her chin was held high, her eyes glittering with triumph.

  It shouldn’t be so damn easy to smile at her, Thane thought ruefully. I rather like not terrorizing people all the time by the mere fact of my existence.

  “Oh, you have me there, O honorable Ytaren,” he said as dourly as he could manage. Kesara made an odd choking noise that he suspected would have been a laugh, had she not only just taken a drink the moment before.

  “Do I need to thump you or are you all right?” he asked gravely.

  She shook her head mutely, her hand pressed over her mouth, and said after a moment, “If you thumped me, I’d never be got out of this chair again. You’d have a permanent memorial to Ytar right here in your sitting room. I regret to say it would not be a very sightly one, more of a suggestion, really.”

  “Are you trying to make me laugh while I’m eating? Because if this is some subtle foreign assassination attempt, it won’t work. Unlike you, it is nearly impossible for me to choke on anything. Trust me on this, Kes. You wouldn’t want to see the proof, I’m sure.” He gave a quick, closed-mouth smile to assure her that he was jesting before casually popping an entire haunch of lamb into his mouth. Her eyes widened in obvious awe before she no doubt remembered not to stare and hastily looked back down at her own plate.

  They ate for a while in silence that was oddly comfortable. She had gotten used to him too easily, he thought, and he had adapted to her presence too quickly. Perhaps it was this bonding she spoke of facilitating the proceedings. The truth was, Thane had never really considered himself to be someone who was difficult to get along with. For example, he had no trouble whatsoever getting along with his troops, and never had, even before he had begun to lead them. Women, however, were different.