Forbidden Affair

by Patti Beckman

  A half-hysterical laugh broke from Jacquelyn's lips. "And I always blamed myself for being secretly jealous of you because you are so beautiful!"

  They stared tearfully at each other, then Natalie rushed into Jacquelyn's arms. "Oh, Jackie," she sobbed, "I do love you in spite of everything."

  "And I love you, Natalie. Just the way I did when we were children."

  Then she dried her eyes. "Now for heaven's sake, tell me what has taken place between you and Gerrard."

  "Well, we've had several long talks since he came back. You see, I was so hurt, so angry when he just walked out of my life that way. I didn't think I could ever forgive him for leaving me that way. He didn't even say good-bye. But he explained all that: how ashamed he was, how he had considered himself a failure, the crisis he was going through in his life. Now I understand, and I've forgiven him. The more we talked, the more we realized how much in love we still were with each other. Finally, just a little while ago, Gerrard told me he couldn't stand by and see me marry Scott. He begged me to elope with him, and I have just agreed to do it. I know it's the right thing. Scott won't be hurt because he doesn't really love me. It's you he loves, Jacquelyn. He's never gotten you out of his system. I tried to kid myself into believing he had. But deep down, I knew better. And I know you still love him, too. The trouble is, both of you are so stubborn and so filled with pride that you won't admit it to each other!"

  Natalie grasped Jacquelyn's hands tightly in hers, gazing directly at her. "Jackie, don't you make a terrible mistake, either. Don't marry Austin. It's not fair to Scott. It's not fair to you. And most of all, it wouldn't be fair to Austin. In a few more minutes it's going to be too late. Don't let that happen."

  "I—I wish I could believe you, Natalie. About Scott being in love with me. But that time in Paris, he never once said anything about love or marriage to me. After we came back he was so cold and distant. It was obvious he just wanted to get me in bed to satisfy his male ego."

  Natalie shook her head. "It's his pride, I tell you. I wouldn't admit it to you before because we were two women fighting for the same man. The truth is, Scott was fighting himself. He does still care for you, but he's too stubborn to admit it. I can be truthful with you now, Jackie. Don't let his pigheadedness keep the two of you apart. You belong together. Fight for him, Jackie. Make him admit he loves you."

  Jacquelyn swallowed hard. "But Natalie… your brother… Austin. He's waiting right now to go meet me at the altar."

  "Then go have a talk with him. Tell him the truth. That's much kinder than marrying him under these circumstances. He'll be hurt at first, but he'll get over it. Listen, I know Austin. After all, he's my brother. He's had this childhood dream of marrying you and just can't let go. He's more in love with the dream than he really is with you. He knows you don't love him the way a woman should love a man she's marrying. In time he'll grow up and find the right girl who will give him the kind of love he deserves. Please be fair with him—and with yourself, Jackie. Tell him the truth."

  Then Natalie jumped up. "I have to hurry. Gerrard has a car waiting out back." She paused at the door. "On, by the way, Jackie, would you do me a favor? Would you tell Scott I'm not going to marry him?"

  "What?" Jacquelyn exploded. "You mean you haven't told him yourself?"

  "Well, you know me. I'm kind of chicken about creating a scene. You come visit us out in Oregon, hear? Bye now."

  "Natalie, come back here!" Jacquelyn cried, but the dark-haired girl closed the door and fled down the stairs.

  Jacquelyn gathered her courage. Then she went to have a talk with Austin.

  Jacquelyn met Uncle Luther near the entrance of the great ballroom. He looked dignified and elegant in his cutaway coat, the proper, regal master of the manor. He turned and, seeing her, smiled and extended his arm. Jacquelyn nestled her hand in the crook of his arm. His commanding presence gave her a measure of security, something she badly needed at this moment.

  An usher stepped to the doorway and signaled. In the ballroom, the orchestra struck up the wedding march. Through the open doors, Jacquelyn could see a mass of humanity. Her knees began trembling. Her mouth felt stuffed with cotton.

  "Where's Natalie?" Uncle Luther whispered hoarsely, looking around. "The girl is going to hold up the ceremony."

  "She isn't coming."

  Uncle Luther glared at her from under bushy eyebrows. "What do you mean, she isn't coming?"

  "I'll explain later," Jacquelyn whispered. "Now come on, take me down the aisle."

  Looking totally bewildered, the proud elderly gentleman began his slow, measured steps down the plush red carpet between the rows of spectator's chairs. The scene became a blur going in and out of focus to Jacquelyn, a confused montage mingling the wedding party, the hundreds of eyes directed toward her, the decorations, the flowers, the candles, the flower girls strewing rose petals before her, the children carrying her train, the orchestra playing. And at the center of it all, like the point of a vortex, was Scott McCrann waiting at the altar, looking handsome beyond description.

  Jacquelyn was half-paralyzed with fright. She was about to undertake a desperate gamble, the outcome of which might be that she would humiliate herself in front of half of Louisiana.

  Scott was scowling darkly when she arrived at the altar.

  "Where the heck are Natalie and Austin?" he growled binder his breath. "They're throwing this whole ceremony off schedule. Both couples are supposed to be at the altar at the same time."

  Jacquelyn saw the minister standing before them in his formal robes, holding his bible.

  She whispered to Scott, "Natalie is on her way to Oregon with Gerrard. She just jilted you, my friend!"

  Scott's eyes widened. He turned pale, then flushed with anger. Finally, he choked under his breath, "What am I supposed to do? Stand here like ah idiot? Why didn't she tell me?"

  "She asked me to tell you," Jacquelyn whispered.

  The minister cleared his throat. He was looking at them with a puzzled expression. Jacquelyn could hear the spectators begin to murmur behind her.

  "Where's Austin?" Scott asked through his teeth. "Don't tell me he changed his mind at the last minute, too."

  "Something like that." Jacquelyn stared at the minister's collar. She swallowed hard. "I just broke our engagement."

  There was another moment of stunned silence. The stirring and murmuring of the spectators was growing more audible.

  "Is everybody going crazy?" Scott swore in a hoarse whisper.

  The minister shifted his weight from one foot to the other, looking more confused by the minute as Scott and Jacquelyn continued their angry, whispered conversation.

  "Now what do we do?" Scott gritted. "Turn around and announce to everybody that the wedding has been called off?"

  "I guess so," Jacquelyn whispered back. "Embarrassing, isn't it?"

  "It sure is!"

  Jacquelyn's palms were sweaty. Her stomach was doubled in a hard knot. "Of course," she murmured, "there is still one bride here, all dressed up and no place to go."

  He scowled at her. "What is that supposed to mean?"

  She shrugged. "Just seems a shame to waste all that cake and champagne," she said tentatively. "And you've paid for the orchestra and all…"

  He stared at her with a medley of emotions flashing in his eyes.

  The minister cleared his throat again. The guests were stirring around, whispering loudly.

  Somebody coughed. The minister ran a finger around his collar.

  Scott continued to stare at her.

  Jacquelyn shrugged. "I just thought I'd tell you," she whispered, "that I'm willing if you're willing."

  Doggone you, Scott McCrann, that's as close as I'm going to come to proposing. Do you need a piano to fall on your stubborn blockhead?

  She did go one step further. She looked him directly in the eye and said, "I love you, Scott. I always have."

  So much for what was left of her pride.

  "Mister McCrann…"
the minister whispered.

  "Shut up," Scott said, then immediately apologized. "Oh, Pastor, excuse me. I didn't know what I was saying. We're trying to work something out."

  "Work something out?" echoed the minister, sounding shocked as well as confused now.

  "Yes," Scott said, looking directly at Jacquelyn. And what she saw in his eyes told her that the rest of her life was going to be just fine.

  He told the confused preacher, "I was just about to propose to my bride…"