Believer

by Ravin Tija Maurice

  “Aren’t you the girl who claims to be related to Peter Pan? You have no right to mock me. And you! You betrayed your own people! To work for the goddamn Kinkaid’s! AND I watched you die! And you’re here! How am I supposed to believe a word you say?”

  Lilly threw her hands up in the air. “Fine! You want to be like that? Fine! Bring me back when you come to your senses. But ask Millie and the fucking Merlin what happens when someone fucks with a prophecy. Ask them. Then fucking call me back when you know I’m not lying, and we can talk more about Frankenstein.”

  It was like my vision snapped, the world had turned into elastic that had been pulled and snapped back into place. I blinked, and Lilly was gone.

  That’s it. I’m done.

  My phone rang forty five minutes later. It took that noise to bring me back to reality. What had just happened, what Lilly Darling had just told me, was mind boggling. I wasn’t sure how to function. I was in the fetal position on my bed, trying to think.

  Then I heard Lilly’s voice in my head.

  The dead girl who had just spoke to me.

  Ask Millie. And the fucking Merlin.

  “Hello?” I picked up on the third ring.

  “Hey, Camille. It’s Millie.” She sounded like she was walking outside. “Are you busy tonight? I got word on another game. And this is a big one.”

  “Can I ask you something?”

  “Absolutely. What’s up?”

  “Do you know anything about what happens if you disrupt the natural order of a prophecy?”

  Silence. “Where is this coming from?”

  “Something Lilly Darling said today.”

  “Lilly?”

  “I’m not sure how I did it, but I summoned Lilly Darling.”

  “Holy shit, Camille! That’s huge!”

  “I know. She told me to ask you about this prophecy thing. She said some other shit that I don’t quite believe…she even said something about my parent’s murder. I swear on everything that is holy I have lost my fucking marbles. I watched her die, and yet she was sitting on my desk.”

  “She did? Well, Lilly is a lot of things, but a liar is not one of them. Let me look into this prophecy thing. I think I know what she means, but I want to double check. Ask Eric too. I will come and pick you up tonight, if you’re free. I hope you’re free.”

  “I am. What time are you coming?”

  “I’ll be there in an hour. Make sure you bring your gloves. It’s mandatory.”

  Ted was asleep in his chair when I came downstairs. Empty beer bottles were strewn on the floor beside his feet. The house seemed empty, and while normally I would be happy that Ted had some time to himself, something inside me did not want to leave him alone tonight. But I had to figure this out. Millie said this was important. I had to regain my composure to find Bliss.

  I wrote Ted a note and told him I was doing more cooking with Millie, and I would call him later. I signed it with I love you. It was important to tell him that. I was sure that I never said enough.

  While I waited on the porch for Millie, I texted Eric and told him about Lilly and about the poker game. He said he would meet us there and not to worry. I had to refrain from flipping out. I hated it when people said don’t worry. A series of anger-fuelled rants ran through my mind as I stared at my phone, deciding if I should reply to his text or not.

  My life is chaos, and you’re telling me not to worry? I see dead people, and you say don’t worry?

  A light sprinkle of snow began to fall from the sky, distracting me from my thoughts. Canada had very defined seasons, and I should have known when there was a slight chill at night that winter was coming. I quietly went back inside and grabbed a jacket in case the weather got worse.

  Millie arrived, and I carefully walked out to her SUV; there wasn’t enough snow yet that it needed shovelling, but it was slippery.

  “Hi!” Nya was oddly chipper when I climbed in the back. Millie pulled away and drove off as soon as I closed the door.

  “Hey,” I said, putting on my gloves. My hands were already turning white.

  “You good, dude?” Nya asked, watching me through the visor mirror as she applied her pink lipstick.

  “No, but that’s not news. Where are we going?”

  Millie smiled. “More poker. Only this game is often frequented by vampires. They’ll know something I am sure.”

  “I’m in the mood to break stuff if they want to make life difficult.”

  “Did Eric have any insight about what Lilly said?”

  Nya’s eyebrows raised. “When did Lilly say…?” She turned and looked at me. “Did you summon Lilly?”

  “You never told her?” I asked Millie.

  “Not my news,” Millie replied.

  “Yeah, I don’t know how I did it, but I summoned Lilly. She said a bunch of shit. But the important part was that disrupting my prophecy is a big deal. Oh, and supposedly the Kinkaid’s have the real Frankenstein working for them.”

  “Huh.” Nya’s gaze went back to the mirror and her makeup. .

  “That’s all you got is ‘huh’?”

  “Did you ask Eric?”

  “Yep. He said don’t worry.”

  “Urgh. I hate that.”

  “I know, right? Do you know what she was talking about?”

  Nya looked at Millie, then back at me. “I think I might but…”

  “But what? Spit that shit out already!”

  “There is this thing, but we don’t know if it’s true or not. Prophecy’s don’t just happen all the time so we have no proof.”

  “Nya, I’m not in the goddamn mood. Lilly was already cagey enough. Just tell me!”

  “Alright! Fuck! There is this story that if a prophecy is not allowed to run its natural course a—”

  “Marie would have known that. She wouldn’t take that risk,” Millie interrupted.

  “Just spit it out!” I yelled.

  “A demon is formed!” Nya blurted out. “Jesus. There is no proof that it’s true. It’s just a story.”

  “Harold would know that too. Why would either of them risk it?” Millie continued. “It makes no sense.”

  “Well, once we’re done with this bullshit, I will summon my mom and ask her,” I snapped, my frustration and anger turning into a hard ball inside my chest. “Since when do demons exist? I have too many questions that I cannot handle the answers to right now, especially walking into what we are about to walk into. My head is going to explode. And we haven’t even addressed the Frankenstein mess. But if demons exist, why the fuck not, right?”

  Nya smiled. “Let’s tackle one bag of bullshit at a time, Cas. Now, just a quick warning.”

  “Son of a bitch!” I cursed loudly and slid down in my seat.“For fuck’s sake! What now?!”

  “Vampires are temperamental. Just so you’re aware. They think they’re superior and can be a bunch of bitchy little girls.”

  “I met the Kinkaid kids. I get it.”

  “We keep warning you to prepare for shit to go south. This would be the place for that to happen. What happened at Burnt Offerings is nothing compared to what could happen here. Is Eric meeting us there?” I nodded as she continued. “Good. We will need all the help we can get.”

  “Great. Just great. When did my life turn into this insane cluster fuck? I need to find Bliss. I can’t. I just can’t.”

  Millie gave me a compassionate smile. “We’ll figure it out. Just breathe.”

  “And put your big girl pants on,” Nya added. “Because we’re here.”

  We went in a back door in an alley that was propped open with a brick. I wasn’t sure exactly where we were; everything was covered in a thin layer of white snow that made it seem clean and pure. When I looked around more closely, I figured out we were in Greek Town, part of the east side of Toronto and far enough that I was out of my element. The last time I had been in this neighbourhood was a disastrous process serving incident with Ted.

  As soon as we stepped in the door, th
e hair on the back of my neck stood up and my hands began to throb. I put them in my pockets and tried my best to relax and breathe. I had to keep my cool.

  Eric crept up behind us just as we stepped into the hallway beyond the door. He put his hand on my shoulder, and I immediately calmed down.

  “My hands hurt,” I said quietly to him, showing him that I had my gloves on.

  “Hello to you too,” he said. “Since when?”

  “Since we stepped in the door. There is something fishy going on.”

  I held onto Eric’s arm as we walked down the hallway into a smoke-filled room. A woman walked passed us with long dark hair. She was wearing a backless shirt that showed off an enormous tattoo, and an extremely short skirt and heels. I couldn’t help but stare at her.

  “Holy shit, it’s you!” I heard a male voice exclaim. I got goose bumps. “Hey, new girl! I knew I sensed something about you.”

  I turned my head and smiled at Tobias Kinkaid, trying to keep my expression neutral. The woman with the long dark hair finally turned her head, and I saw her face.

  “Bliss?” my voice was small and quiet like a surprised child. We made eye contact; her pupils were so dilated that her irises looked black. She could barely keep her eyes open they were so red. I was sure the colour drained from my face, and it was just as white as my hands.

  She stared blankly at me like she had no clue who I was, then turned and walked back over to Tobias. She perched on a stool beside him, her face eye level with the table. Her already long hair looked as if it had grown a foot more since the last time I saw her as it now reached her waist. Tobias touched the top of her head affectionately, like one would pet a dog or a cat.

  She should just sit on the floor and get it over with. Where was her collar and leash?

  I stood there for a few minutes, completely dumbfounded as Eric and Nya pulled me to the other side of the room.

  “So that’s her, huh?” Nya said quietly to me.

  “That was her,” I replied. I had to fight to keep my voice level. “I don’t know what the hell he has her on, but that’s not the same person. And what’s with the massive tat on her back? Is that part of it?”

  I watched as my friend sat beside that piece of shit, on her little stool like a prized fucking puppy, and made goo-goo eyes at him. She kept reaching out for him, and he would shoo her like a fly buzzing around his head.

  “I have to go talk to her,” I said as I broke free of the others and walked over to my friend.

  “Hey!” I tried to seem as cheerful as I could. “I haven’t heard from you in a few days, how are you?”

  Bliss glanced at me, half smiling. “Oh, I’m good.”

  “Can we talk for a sec?”

  Bliss looked at Tobias. He glanced at me briefly, and then nodded like he was giving her permission. Should have patted her on the head and gave her a treat while he was at it.

  She got up and we stepped away, not out of earshot, but far enough that I could say what I needed to without Tobias getting involved.

  “Are you okay? I haven’t heard from you in a while. Some shit went down with Fray and we really need to talk about it.”

  “I am fine, Camille. I don’t have time to hear about your stupid boy problems, nor do I want to,” Bliss snapped. Her face contorted into this angry snarling expression that made me take a step back. The expression on her face, in her eyes, made it seem like she was disgusted to even look at me. Like my presence annoyed her.

  “Okay, well, do you want to come with me to—”

  “I don’t want to go anywhere with you. You’re a pathetic loser. I am exactly where I need to be.” Her words stung, just as she had intended.

  “What? I don’t…I don’t understand.”

  She sighed loudly and rolled her eyes. “God, you are as stupid as Jesse always said. Do I need to spell it out for you? We’re not friends, Camille. Now get out of my face.”

  She turned and went back to Tobias, leaving me standing there like the asshole I was.

  I quickly turned and walked back over to Eric and Nya before anyone could see my face. Millie was off by the bar talking to Liam Fitzpatrick.

  I stood beside them and took a calming breath. I would not cry. I could not cry. I already looked stupid enough, if I started crying now that would make me exactly what she said I was. A pathetic fucking loser.

  “What just happened?” Eric asked quietly. I looked him in the eyes, and Bliss’s words rang in my ears. I felt darkness swirl around me.

  He could never love someone like me.

  He reached out for me, and I pulled away. I lowered my gaze to the floor and bit back my tears. Using every bit of energy I had, I tried to imagine a hole in the floor beneath my feet that would swallow me up.

  Tobias Kinkaid began to laugh. And that darkness took on a shape.

  The sound was so painful it felt like I had been stabbed a thousand times in the back. My worst nightmares were now becoming fully formed.

  I had no friends. Because I am a pathetic loser who doesn’t deserve any.

  I am nothing without Jesse.

  When the rumble started, it was almost inaudible. Then things in the room began to shake. I could hear the furniture as it pitter patted on the floor like dozens of tiny dancing feet, and the rattle of the paintings as they tapped on the walls.

  The darkness smiled.

  “Who the hell is doing this?” someone yelled. My eyes remained down.

  “She probably is,” I heard Bliss’s disgusted voice snap. I assumed she pointed at me. I felt people come towards me, and the shaking got louder. Eric clamped his hand around my wrist. His power crept up my arm, but my energy wasn’t interested and pushed it away.

  “Hey!” An angry voice got closer to me. “Cut that shit out!” Eric’s grip tensed.

  I lifted my head, looking the man, who was easily three times my size and thundering towards me like an angry hippo, in the eye. I smiled sweetly, then used every bit of power I had to fling him across the room. It also flung all the furniture and several other people. Including Tobias and Bliss.

  I hope I killed him.

  I hope I killed them both.

  Eric yanked hard on my arm. “You need to chill.”

  “No,” I said calmly.

  Another large man started coming at us. I turned my gaze to him, that coil of energy that had grabbed Fray shot out like a bullet and tried to shove the man towards the ceiling. But he put up a fight, using whatever magic he had to keep his feet on the ground. I felt his power begin to stir inside him like the beginnings of a thunderstorm, and I pushed at him again to try to keep him from doing anything.

  “What did she say to you?” Eric asked.

  “The truth. That I am a pathetic loser and have no friends. That she and I were never friends.”

  “Cas....”

  “Save it. Either help me or leave.”

  “It’s in your best interest to leave. Now. Even if the three of us help you, we can’t take this on. We need to run. Now.”

  “Take them and go.”

  “I am not leaving you here.”

  “Why do you care? It’s not like you could give a shit about a pathetic loser like me. All you care about is my prophecy shit,” I growled at him. So many emotions were swirling through me that they were competing for which should take priority, which was causing the energy that fuelled my powers to go into high gear.

  “Is that what you really think?”

  “I think a lot worse than that, but that is the easiest to vocalise.”

  He took a deep breath then turned away from me. Which is exactly what I thought he would do. Expecting him to do something different only set me up for disappointment. The furniture continued to shake, and people began to get up and leave.

  “Camille, what the hell are you doing?” Millie’s frightened voice snapped me back into reality. She stepped in front of Eric so all I could see was her. “Camille, I get that you are upset. But you can’t do this. I know you thou
ght she was your friend, but it’s not worth your life.” Millie put her hands on my shoulders and looked in my eyes. “If you do this now, you can’t come back from it. The whole world will know.”

  I got a flash of my mother’s face, and thought about what she had done to protect me from all of this. I liked to think she and I would have been friends. That now that I was an adult we could have hung out like people. Maybe even been girlfriends.

  She would have only hung out with me because she had to. That’s what moms do.

  I heard the sirens. Eric and Nya disappeared. The rest of the world went on. But Millie and I stood there. She stayed with me, and so did the darkness.

  Even when the cops came, Millie stayed. She smiled at me like a mother would as they cuffed us both. She continued to smile at me when they put us in separate squad cars and drove her away.

  8.

  today

  back to where we started...

  “My hands? It’s weird, right?” I said to Kiera, showing her my white hands. “It’s a circulation thing, I think. It’s called Raynaud’s syndrome. I have to go back to the doctor.”

  I had checked it out ahead of time, in case I ever needed to explain my hands to anyone not magical. I needed a plausible reason. This was the best I could find.

  “You do. Because that’s weird,” Kiera replied. “Are you sure you’re ok? Because that’s pretty close to the colour of dead bodies. You really need to talk to your doctor.”

  “Yeah, the blood just randomly stops running to your digits. Apparently, it can also happen in your nose and ears. White means it’s not severe. When it turns blue that means it’s bad,” I explained. “If you uncuff me and give me my bag, I can give you Jesse’s phone. And can I have my gloves? This shit happens because my hands are cold. I need to warm them up.”

  She pointed at my hands again. “Are you trying to slip your cuffs?”

  “What? No! Why would I...?” I looked down at my hands, the cuffs now hung loosely like a set of bangles. Oops.“I guess the arresting officer didn’t do them up that tight. You should talk to those uniform officers, Kiera. If I was a regular perp I could have slipped my cuffs and attacked you.”

  “Alright there, Bonnie without Clyde,” she quipped. “Why are you not more bothered by this? Your lack of emotion for being arrested scares me.”