Believer

by Ravin Tija Maurice

  “It shouldn’t. I’m not emotional because I have done nothing wrong. My only crime is being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I can explain it all. I have nothing to hide. Millie was only there because of me. She did nothing wrong either.” I bit my tongue and tried my best not to ramble, which would have been a dead giveaway that I was lying.

  Kiera groaned and shook her head. I put my hands on the table and rubbed them together in an attempt to warm them. She wrote something else in the file, and then leaned over the table and uncuffed me.

  “Don’t take this as a kindness. I am letting you go because there is nothing to hold you, or Philomina LeFaye. I know you well enough to know that if there was something to bust you for, it would take work to find it. I want to trust you. But I am watching you. If I see or hear anything that I don’t like, you’re done. Got it? I will book your ass and feel no ways about it. I should have let you spend the night in a holding cell. You don’t get special favours because you’re a Bishop.”

  I smiled sweetly. “Not even ‘cuz I’m your favourite?”

  “Don’t push your luck. Let me get your stuff, and I will take you home.”

  “What about Millie?”

  “I informed her that I would escort you home. She wants you to phone her later.”

  I smiled. “Okay. As long as she is safe.”

  “She will be heading home shortly. Now, wait here. I will be right back.” She took the file and left the room.

  Would I actually have snooped in the file if I’d had the chance? If I would have gotten caught, my free pass would’ve been revoked with lightening speed!

  We sat in silence on the way home. I didn’t have much to say anyhow. I had given Jesse’s phone to Kiera before we left the station, and I didn’t want to nervous talk. Which was something I did often, and if I wanted her to believe me I had to keep my mouth shut.

  She hugged me goodbye when we pulled up out-front of the house.

  “I expect more from you, Cas. I know you’re going through a lot,” she began, “But don’t let it fuck up your life. It’s not what he would have wanted.”

  I laughed. “Do you mean Jesse? He would have wanted to live, Kiera. Turns out he didn’t give much of a shit about me. Only what I could do for him.”

  She made this expression at me that was best described as an awe-poor-you face.

  “Don’t do that. I do not need pity. I’m a big girl.” I kissed her on the cheek and opened the car door. “Let me know when you guys have a suspect. Anything you need, just let me know.”

  “You got any ideas on that, Cas?” she asked.

  I faltered. “Not at the moment. Why?”

  “You did so well with Morris Ludlow I figured you had already opened a file.”

  “Nah. I am not convinced he was murdered. So, no reason to look.”

  She shrugged. “I see your point. Maybe another day I will show you a reason.”

  “Don’t you have people for that? Like cops and shit?”

  “Maybe they’re not as good as you. Have you ever thought about going to the police academy? You could be my apprentice.”

  Something popped up in my mind, and I hesitated as to whether to mention it to Kiera. If Bliss and I weren’t friends anymore, I didn’t need to protect her secret. After tonight, I should put it on a billboard.

  “Hey, Kiera. Can you do something for me?”

  She smiled. “Is it legal?”

  “Absolutely. I want you to find out if Melissa ‘Bliss’ Fiori is an undercover cop or not. Keep it between us.”

  “Why would you ask me that?”

  “Because she told me she was, and I want to know if that was a lie, like half the other shit that she told me.” I hugged her again and got out of the car.

  “Is that a good idea? I mean, if you’re really done with her and her situation, do you really want to know?”

  “I think it would help me get passed it. All I want is a yes or no. You don’t have to tell me if she’s an undercover either. Just ‘is she a cop’? Yes or no. Easy peasy.”

  She smiled at me. “I’ll look into it. Especially if you’ll seriously consider going to the police academy.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Thanks for the ride.”

  “I wish it was under better circumstances.”

  I shovelled the front walk and the driveway before I went in the house. It gave me the opportunity to calm down and clear my head.

  It was earlier than I thought. Ted was asleep in his chair, and he stirred when I kissed him on the forehead. I whispered to him that I was taking a beer, grabbed a bottle out of the fridge, and went to my room.

  I got my phone out of my purse and sat down on my bed. Opening the bottle, I took a swig. I wasn’t a fan of beer, but today I would make an exception. It would raise a few eyebrows if I went in the liquor cabinet. One beer I could pass of as a passing urge, hard liquor not so much.

  Too bad we didn’t have any wine. I could add that to my to do list for tomorrow.

  My eyes started to feel weird again, and this time I knew what it meant. So I breathed deeply and let it happen.

  “Is now a good time to say I told you so?” Lilly asked.

  “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me about Bliss?” I asked. “Warn me? Anything?”

  “Would you have listened?” she said, and I started crying. “Look, she’s a lost cause. She’s tangled in a web that you do not want to get snagged in. Trust me. Focus on other friends.”

  I started crying harder. “Don’t you get it? I don’t have any other friends! I’m pathetic.”

  “Pathetic according to who? Did that vamp tramp call you pathetic? You realize you’re bothered by an insult from a walking vampire toy, right? That is far more pathetic than whatever lame insult she called you.”

  I tried to inhale calmly. “You have no idea.”

  “Who are those people you were rolling with?”

  “Millie and Nya are le Fay. They’re my mom’s people. And Eric…well, every guy I have ever liked has had a hidden agenda. I’m sure he does too.”

  “Did you like that clown from that band? The pretty one?”

  “I went to high school with him. He was my lab partner. He sung that stupid song for me. It was silly. Like a teenage crush. What the fuck do you know about Fray anyway? How did you know I know him?”

  “Your expression at the Matador said it all. Either you knew him personally or you fangirled. Hard. And I know it’s his and his band’s stupid fault there’s a fucking virus. That’s enough. That shithead is a waste of space. You can do so much better. I don’t even know you, and I know you can do better. I should have poisoned them all or something. Just wiped their useless asses from the earth before they could do more damage.”

  “He told me he did it to save his friend.”

  She laughed. “And that makes it okay? He can turn us all into cattle, but as long as his friend is okay it’s acceptable? Fuck him.”

  “Cattle?”

  “That’s the point of the virus. They’re turning us into superfood. Like the flesh equivalent of kale.”

  “I thought they were making vampires.”

  “No. They are too keen on their elitist bullshit. Only the crème de la crème get chosen to be one of them. Like they’re fucking Kardashians or some shit.”

  I took another sip of my beer. “I can’t deal with this shit. Can we just put a lid on all this? Like push pause or some shit?”

  “Sorry, dude. Welcome to the trip. It gets heavy. But you should be used to all this by now—”

  “I have only known for a few weeks! My mom bound my goddamn powers, told me nothing about any of this, and then she died.”

  She chuckled. “I know, I know. She told me all about it.”

  “Excuse me? What do you mean she told you? And why is it funny?”

  “Oh. Shit. I didn’t even think about that. You haven’t spoken to her yet, have you?”

  “No. Of course not,” I said.

  I was about to sa
y more, when it felt like someone ran an ice cube up my spine. I jumped, and that flash of cold took over my body. I felt the dark presence. That same darkness I had felt at the club. It tried to wrap itself around me like a blanket.

  “Did you just feel that?” I asked, spinning around and looking for whatever it was. As quickly as it had appeared, it was gone.

  “No, dude. I can’t feel shit! Did you hit your head or something? You’re a light weight if you’re already buzzing.” She watched me as I sat back down on my bed. “I guess I can Karate Kid your ass. You look like you could use the help.”

  “Karate Kid? What the fuck are you talking about?”

  “I can teach you, dumbass! There is shit that Millie and the Merlin are too fucking vanilla to show you.” She laughed to herself. “Millie and the Merlin. Sounds like a shitty band.”

  I shrugged and took another sip of my beer. “Sure. Why not? My life is already pretty weird. Why not have a ghost teach me magic? Sounds great! I got some questions about my mom though. You will need to explain about her murder.”

  “Save them. Soon enough you can ask her yourself.”

  My phone beeped with a text from a number I did not know.

  All the message said was ‘I’m sorry. This was the only way I could save us all.’

  9.

  When I woke up the next morning, I thought I would feel different.

  My already screwy world had once again been flipped on its head. Bliss and Noah Fray had come back into my life and almost as quickly were gone. I was pleased that I had found out the truth about Fray before I had done something I would regret. I already felt like a fool, it would have been much worse if I had slept with him.

  The Bliss thing was painful. It made me sad. I couldn’t begin to understand how someone would want to be possessed the way Tobias was possessing her. She wasn’t a person anymore. She was an object. Getting played always hurt. I needed to figure out what was wrong with me that it keeps happening. Because it wasn’t just about not inviting these people into my life, but figuring out what makes me so attractive to them.

  I wondered if either Bliss or Fray had sent that text.

  And, really, did I care? It was just a ploy to suck me in. I was not falling for it.

  Nope. Not falling for it. Jesse used to do the same shit.

  That was always how I got played. Some stupid text would tug at my foolish heartstrings, and I would allow him to speak to me and get sucked back in. Jesse could play me like a musical instrument. I was not doing that again.

  Regardless of how painful it was, I didn’t feel different. I couldn’t help but wonder if I was numb. If I had finally reached my bullshit limit. Something had to give, and maybe I had finally cracked.

  I got a text from Kiera while I was eating breakfast.

  “Anything important?” Ted asked. He was sitting beside me at the kitchen table. Cuddy was on my other side. They were both happily eating the eggs and bacon Ted had made, I assumed to cure his hangover.

  “No. Just Kiera. I had asked her to look into something for me,” I replied.

  “Anything I need to know about?”

  “No. Nothing major.”

  “Did you finally get a hold of Bliss?”

  “Yeah, I found her. She’s not who I thought she was.”

  “Oh? What happened?”

  I sighed. “She’s hooked up with Tobias Kinkaid. And she is clearly on...” I glanced over at Cuddy, “something.”

  “I’m 18 years old, Cas. And I have seen Breaking Bad. You don’t need to do that,” Cuddy said with an eye roll.

  “So maybe Jesse was right about her after all?”

  I put down my fork and turned and looked at him. “Well, that’s a first!”

  “Hey, he gets one,” he said. “I am quite shocked that a Fiori would hook up with a Kinkaid.”

  “Well, I am absolutely fucking disgusted. But, hey, what the fuck do I know?” Both men looked shocked as I spoke.

  “Reign in those f-bombs when we get to the office, please. I get that you are upset, but cussing is not appropriate,” Ted said.

  “I’m good. It’s out of my system. I just feel like an asshole that I believed her and Fray were my friends.” Unless that text was true. But I’m not getting sucked in.

  Ted gently pat my shoulder. “You were in a bubble for a long time. This is all stuff you should have gone through ages ago but didn’t because you were so focused on Jesse. It’ll be okay, I promise. And hey, maybe you’ll make friends with Eric eventually. He’s a good guy.”

  I would very much like to be his friend, and more.

  But I may have fucked that up before it even started.

  We left shortly after that, dropping Cuddy at school on the way to the office. Rollo’s car was in the school lot. I hadn’t read the text from Kiera yet, so I scanned it quickly when we pulled into the L&B parking lot.

  It was as I had suspected. There was no record of a Bliss or Melissa Fiori anywhere, other than a sealed juvenile record. Kiera reassured me that she knows the officer who runs the entire undercover department, and he told her that there was no Fiori anywhere. She even found a picture of Bliss on Facebook that she showed him, and he said no. Then she ran it through their employee database, and nothing. Bliss was not, and never had been, a cop.

  Of course she isn’t, you gullible moron.

  I texted Lemme and asked her if she ever got that secondary data from my other contact, and she replied, ‘Not yet. Is it coming soon?’ and I swore at my phone. Either that text was bullshit or not her.

  “Everything okay?” Ted asked as we got out of the car.

  “What? Yeah. Sorry. Kiera had a question about Jesse’s phone,” I said as we got out. “She picked it up from me last night when I was out. I was going to give her his spare charger, and I forgot.”

  “Well, she knows where you live if she really needs it,” he replied. He held the door open for me, and we both headed inside.

  The waiting room was empty, and I could hear Ramona humming to herself as she made coffee in the break room. Ted smiled and waved as he headed to his office. I thought about going and talking to Ramona. Her motherly disposition and kind words always made me feel better when I was upset. But I decided against it and headed for my office instead.

  I stopped, took a deep breath, and opened my door. The room smelled like fresh coffee, and Eric sat in one of my chairs with his feet up on my desk, messing with his phone.

  “Good morning,” I said nervously, closing the door behind me. I slid over my desk to my chair, trying very hard not to knock over the two coffee’s he had brought.

  “Good morning. How was the big house?” he asked, not looking up from his phone.

  I shrugged. “Fine. I didn’t get charged. Clearly, since my head is not outside on a pike. Millie is fine too.”

  “I know. She phoned me. Why didn’t you?”

  “I figured after what happened last night you wouldn’t want to talk to me.”

  “Should I talk to you?”

  “I don’t know if I would. But, as you can see by the supposed friend I have been chasing around, I am not the best judge of character.”

  “She is not worth it. You should focus on other friends.”

  I laughed. “Funny, that is exactly what Lilly said. The sad part is, I don’t have any other friends. It was her and that dude. The fuckboy with the loft. That’s why I got so upset. Because what she said hit the nail on the head.”

  He finally looked up at me. “You have me.”

  My eyes began to glaze over with tears. “I do?”

  “Do you really think I am going to abandon you because you flipped out? I am not pleased that we could have gotten hurt, and you and Millie got arrested, but I’m not going anywhere, Cas.”

  I climbed back out from behind my desk and curled up on his lap, leaning my head on his shoulder. I took a deep breath, taking in his smell. The joy that I felt that he didn’t storm out of my office was huge, but I tried to keep my
face neutral. I didn’t want to look like a lovesick teenager. The warmth of his body was comforting, it made me feel safe.

  “Thank you,” I told him. It took every ounce of strength I had to not cry.

  “You’re welcome.” He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me. It was better in that moment than any kiss. “Well, now that we found her what do we do?”

  “She lied to me.”

  “I know. She’s—”

  “No. She told me she’s an undercover cop, so I would tell her what I had found out about the virus. She’s not.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Absolutely. My cousin looked into it. And she was thorough.”

  “Huh. So I guess we know what we’re doing now.”

  “What?”

  “We’re vetting Bliss Fiori.”

  When I kissed him on the cheek he turned his head, and we had a proper kiss. That warm wonderful feeling I’d had the first time we kissed was back, and I wished we weren’t at work.

  “Is that one of your powers?” I asked as we separated.

  “What?”

  “That your touch calms people down and makes them feel good.”

  “No, not at all. But I am happy to hear that. I take it as a compliment.” He hugged me close to his body. “So, is Fiori Spanish?”

  “As far as I know.”

  “Maybe she’s a bruja. You’d think that was something Lilly Darling would have picked up on. She never mentioned it?”

  “That’s a good point. Lilly said nothing about Bliss. Hiding something magical from me is one thing, but she also hid it from Lilly and the Kinkaid’s. Which reminds me, the last time I summoned Lilly, I felt something weird.”

  He chuckled. “Yeah. She’s a ghost.”

  “No. It was something else.” I kissed his cheek again, then climbed back over my desk to my chair. “It was a cold chill up my spine, then like a blanket of darkness surrounded me. It felt like a physical presence, but it was entirely made of the darkest parts, not just of me, but of everything.”

  His expression was blank as he thought about what I said. “I don’t know what to tell you. There is the story, you know, about what happens when a prophecy does not run its natural course. I see what you just described to me as something letting you know that it’s there. What it is, I don’t know. Don’t the le Fay have a family history book? Might be in there.”