Always Yours

by Grace Owens

  “Cailean, please put me down,” I pleaded.

  “Almost there,” he said without putting me down.

  I stopped putting up a fight and chose to look at the pictures that hung on the wall along the staircase. Almost all of them were of Cailean growing up. While I had known what he had looked like up until high school, the photos from college were new to me. He’d played football in high school, but I’d had no idea that he had continued into college. It probably shouldn’t have been a surprise to me, but it was.

  “Do you still play?” I asked, gesturing to a photo of him in his early teens, smiling big for the camera in his football gear.

  “No,” he said with a scoff. “I only played because it pleased my dad. America doesn’t have rugby, but football is the closest so that’s what it was.”

  “Huh.”

  I didn’t know why I thought he would have continued to play, it wasn’t like he was playing professionally, but to have played all the way through college just because it pleased his dad? I didn’t understand that, but it was none of my business anyway.

  “Welcome to my lair, my lady,” Cailean said dramatically as he set me down on my feet in the doorway to his room.

  “So this is your room, huh?” I asked absentmindedly. It was huge. His bed was the biggest one I’d ever seen, with a massive wooden frame, compared to the one I’d grown up with which was just a simple twin sized bed. Everything in here was just so warm and welcoming with dark wood and bricks – who the hell even had a fireplace in their bedroom anymore? Well, Cailean did, and images, very naked images, of the two of us in front of said fireplace flooded my brain.

  “You have no idea how many times I’ve imagined you in here,” Cailean whispered as he came up behind me, wrapping his arms around me. It sent a dangerous shiver down my spine.

  Why is he doing this to me? I thought as I tried to concentrate on everything but his body so close to mine.

  “Stop doing that,” I said weakly and managed to get myself away from him.

  “Stop doing what?” he asked even though I could tell by the smug look on his face that he knew exactly what he was doing.

  “You know what,” I grumbled and walked over to the bags he had set down on a chair earlier.

  “You can stop your bloody pretending.” The words might have been harsh, but his voice was gentle. “I know you want me, your mouth might spew out all those lies, but your body is telling me something different.”

  “It doesn’t matter what my body wants.” I decided not to deny the fact that it did indeed want him.

  “Keep telling yourself that, Gertie. In my previous experience, the body always wins over the mind.”

  I chose to ignore the jealousy that bubbled up when he mentioned his previous experiences by rifling through my bag for pajamas while he went to the bathroom. I had no right to be jealous, nor did I want to be jealous, but the mere thought of him with another woman made me see red.

  How the hell were we supposed to live our lives separately yet together? We would be in each other’s lives for the rest of our days and eventually, a woman would take up the spot next to him. A woman who would be my child’s stepmother.

  Oh, Lord, please help me.

  “Crap, crap, crap,” I muttered over and over again, digging deeper in my bag, unable to find any healthy thoughts or any pajamas.

  “What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Cailean asked, coming out of the bathroom, staring over my shoulder. Again, standing way too close for comfort. He smelled like toothpaste and something else that I could only associate with Cailean.

  I ignored the delicious smell, and the fact that he had called me sweetheart. “I forgot to bring something to sleep in.”

  “It’s okay.” He shrugged and walked away. “You can just sleep naked.”

  “Cailean,” I started, but stopped when I saw him smirking at me and I knew that he was just messing with me. A part of me couldn’t help but being disappointed, but I quickly pushed that emotion away where it belonged – deep, deep inside my brain.

  “What? Sleeping naked with your husband is such a terrible thought,” he said in a mocking hurt tone.

  “When that husband is you, then yes, it is,” I answered back even though I knew that was a complete lie – if you erased the past, Cailean would have been a hot guy that I wouldn’t mind getting naked with at all – and he just proved what a big lie it was when he pulled his t-shirt over his head, revealing his upper body. “What are you doing?”

  “Huh?”

  Oh my God, I thought as I tried my hardest to look away. He was standing in front of me in nothing but his tight, very revealing, underwear. Sure, I had looked at him after waking up in Vegas, but my memories served me no justice. He was muscular, much more so than I remembered; every inch of my fingers were twitching to touch his abs. He had more tattoos than what I had seen before – from where I was standing, I saw text and designs that looked so personal that I should have looked away. Should have. There was something about this man that made me unable to tear my eyes away.

  “You okay there, baby?” Cailean asked after what felt like hours, but I hoped it was more like seconds.

  I left out the breath I had been holding and looked away. “There’s not a modest bone in your body, is there?”

  “Of course there is. I still have my underwear on, don’t I?” He was smug, which meant that he had caught me staring. He tossed me his t-shirt and said, “You can sleep in this.”

  “But it’s yours.”

  “So are you, so I’m sure you’ll get along great.”

  He turned around and laid down on the bed, dismissing the subject. I didn’t mind and went to the bathroom to change. As I pulled the t-shirt over my head, my senses came alive with Cailean’s scent. I allowed myself a minute to admire his campfire scent before getting ready for bed.

  When I got back out from the bathroom after getting ready for bed, I found Cailean looking very comfortable on the big bed. Realization suddenly hit me – he thought we would sleep in the same bed. How had I not thought about sleeping arrangements until now?

  There was a couch underneath the window, but it looked more decorative than comfortable. Would a sore body be worth the struggle?

  “Just get your ass in bed, Gert,” Cailean muttered tiredly. I was unaware that he had even noticed my hesitation.

  “Don’t you dare cross your side of the bed,” I said in my most threatening voice, giving up the struggle of comfort versus personal space.

  “Or you’ll do what?” he shot back and scooted toward the middle of the bed.

  “I’ll kick your balls. No more babies for you… ever.”

  “You’re too nice, there’s no way you would do that. Besides, I think you would end up regretting it more than I ever will.” He sounded so sure of himself as he made himself more comfortable.

  “I wouldn’t take advantage of my niceness if I were you,” I said, using my threatening voice again.

  “I would never. Now, come to bed already, I’m cold.” He patted the bed next to him as if he was expecting me to come and snuggle up close to him.

  “Then scoot over,” I demanded and pulled the blanket down, preparing to get in. However, it turned out to be a big mistake as that also uncovered an almost naked Cailean in the process. Again, the view of his abs made my stomach muscles clench in excitement and for some reason, I couldn’t tear my eyes from him.

  Cailean cleared his throat and I looked up at his smug face. “My eyes are up here, you know?”

  “Your eyes aren’t nearly as interesting as your abs,” I lied – his eyes were more than fascinating and he had a way of trapping me with them.

  “I guess I’ll have to walk around naked more often, then.”

  I got up on the huge bed and lay down as close to the edge as possible. I heard Cailean chuckle behind me as he turned the lights off.

  ↞ ♥ ↠

  He released my nipple with a quiet pop and moved his way down. It would have tickled if
it hadn’t been for the fact that I was beyond wanting him at that point.

  “Please,” I moaned.

  “Please what, baby?” he murmured, placing more kisses along my rib cage. I squirmed underneath his touch, wanting him to touch me everywhere at once. He came back up to my face and planted a small kiss on my lips and pulled away when I leaned in for more. “Tell me what you want.”

  “You,” I managed to say. It was the only thing I could say to explain what I wanted. “I want you.”

  “I’m yours,” he said as he kissed me along my jaw. “Always.”

  “Then please,” I pleaded again and this time he listened. I felt him move and position himself between my legs, his eyes boring into mine as if asking permission – he didn’t need permission, but I still felt myself nod slightly as he pushed forward.

  ↞ ♥ ↠

  I opened my eyes and got blinded by the light that shone from the windows. At first, I had no idea where I was because it didn’t look at all like the bedroom where I had just been. Then I realized that I was in Cailean’s room, his childhood bedroom, and when it dawned on me that it had all been a dream, I was hit by a wave of emotions – longing, lust and sadness.

  As I was lying there, contemplating whether or not to wake Cailean up and demand that we relive the dream, he rolled over and gathered me into his arms, pressing his lower body closer to mine. My first reaction was to tense up, knowing very well what was poking my backside. My second reaction, however, was to relax and push back.

  “Hmm,” he hummed sleepily in my ear, causing a shiver to run down my spine. It also made me think of my dream and I wiggled a little bit. The want was almost enough to choke me. “If you keep doing that, I can’t promise I’ll be a gentleman anymore.”

  “Please,” I heard myself whisper and pushed harder against him. Where on earth had that come from? It couldn’t have been me, begging Cailean to do something. Right?

  “Gertie,” he said in a warning tone, moving his hand to my hip to keep me from moving any further.

  “Cailean.”

  “You let me touch you and you’re mine.”

  I kept rolling my hips against him and in that moment, I would have said anything for him to just touch me. To take the ache away.

  “Always.” I repeated what he had told me in my dream, hoping it would spur him into action.

  I was right.

  He wasted no time moving his hand up my body, taking my shirt along with him. It left my boobs exposed, but as long as he was touching me, I couldn’t care less. I reached back and grabbed his head, bringing his lips to my neck and I didn’t even have to tell him in words what I wanted.

  As he switched between nibbling, sucking and kissing along my neck, he replaced the hand at my boobs for the one that had been resting underneath my head. This gave his other hand free range to explore the rest of my body and it seemed as if he knew exactly where I needed him because he kept bypassing the spot between my legs.

  He chuckled when I let out a whimper in protest.

  “Patience, baby,” he scolded, hiking my shirt up further, although I think we both realized that moving in order to get rid of it completely would break the spell, so it was left on. I could feel him wiggle himself out of his underwear and a bolt of uncertainty hit me.

  Was I ready for sex again?

  He probably felt me stiffen for less than a second and all the kissing and touching stopped. I knew I wanted to be touched, I just didn’t know if I was ready for more than that just now in his childhood bedroom and with his parents somewhere close.

  “Touch me, please,” I whispered.

  His arms made me feel safe the way they snaked around me. One between my boobs and the other dangerously low. I knew by the way his hand was drawing small circles that he could feel that my stomach was no longer as flat as it had been last time, but for once, I didn’t care. All I wanted was for him to trace those circles just a tad bit lower. I was aching for it.

  Grabbing his hand, I pushed it down my panties, hoping he would get the hint. I had never been this forward before, but I had also never been this horny before either.

  He hummed in appreciation as his fingers glided through my folds. I was embarrassingly wet, but I was grateful for it when one of his fingers slipped inside me. He started moving slowly at first, but my hips had a mind of their own and urged him to go faster. I could feel him hard and ready up against my back. Adding a second finger, he started moving his hips in the same rhythm he thrust his fingers inside me. It was as close to real sex as it got and one of the most sexual experiences I had ever experienced. Sad as that was.

  “You’re so fucking tight. I can’t wait to fuck you again.”

  He was being ridiculous and his words was making my body do ridiculous things such as clench around his fingers and moan.

  “Just shut up,” I managed to get out.

  In return, he curled his fingers inside me and a sensation rushed through me which caused my eyes to roll back in pleasure.

  “I can feel how close you are, baby.” He took my ear lobe in his mouth and gently bit on it.

  I could feel my body lock up in his arms as I clenched around him again. As tremors raked through my body, I was vaguely aware of something wet hitting my back and the thought that he, too, had come made a moan slip out before I had the chance to stop it.

  I felt powerful in that moment. Everything floated away - our past, our future. The only thing that mattered was the present.

  My whole body was tingling and I hadn’t felt this relaxed in a very long time, if ever. It scared me to admit, but I wanted to stay there in Cailean’s arms until I had no choice but to get up. For that reason alone, I knew I needed to somehow untangle myself and take a step back.

  “I should go take a shower,” I said when I was somewhat calmer. I was still reeling over the fact that I had let him do that to me, but the orgasm had brought something similar to contentment and my body felt too relaxed for me to care about it.

  “There should be some towels already in there,” he murmured in between the kisses he was peppering down my neck. Again, it felt too good for me to stop it.

  “Okay.” While I was glad that he hadn’t offered to take one with me, I couldn’t help but be somewhat disappointed. After all, he was the one responsible for the mess on my lower back.

  I hadn’t even thought about shampoo or conditioner before stepping into the shower until I saw some fruit scented bottles standing next to what I assumed was Cailean’s stuff. I debated whether or not to use it, but they seemed to be unused. The shower was way better than the one I had at my apartment, and not wanting to face Cailean and what we had just done, I took extra time and care into cleaning myself.

  Toweling off, I realized I had been in such a hurry to get away from Cailean that I had totally forgotten to bring a set of clean clothes with me.

  Tiptoeing my way back into his room, clutching the towel close, I hoped Cailean would still be asleep and not notice my lack of clothing. Who knew what would happen if I returned naked?

  I found that I had nothing to worry about because he was passed out and very… naked. The blanket was twisted around his thighs, leaving his somewhat still-hard dick on display. In true Cailean form, he seemed very comfortable being exposed in such a way. What was next, sharing a bathroom together?

  Once I had put on my underwear, I started to make some more noise in the hopes of waking him up. I smelled breakfast and I was starving, but I really didn’t want to go downstairs and face his parents alone. While Cailean seemed comfortable in our relationship, I was far from it and I didn’t want his parents to see right through me.

  Fully clothed and with nothing more to occupy myself with, I came face to face with the realization that I might just have to face them alone after all; the growling of my stomach didn’t give me much choice and Cailean was still passed out.

  “Where do you think you’re going?” he asked and grabbed me before I could make it to the door, scaring t
he crap out of me. We fell into a heap on the bed, but he was still careful to make sure my belly hadn’t been squished.

  “I’m smelling waffles.” I let out a dreamy sigh at the sweet smell.

  “You smell like…” He put his nose against my throat and sniffed loudly. I immediately tensed at his words, waiting for teenage-bully Cailean to make his appearance. He always used to tell me how awful I smelled. Instead he finished with, “Peaches.”

  “I found some shampoo in the shower,” I explained, blushing a bit at the thought of smelling like one of his old girlfriends. It was either that or smelling like a man, though. “It was unopened.”

  He inhaled deeply and snuggled us closer.

  “I would assume so. You’re the only chick I know that has used my shower. I’m sure my mom put it there for you.”

  The only one who had used his shower, but not the only one he’d had over. Choosing to ignore that thought, I was about to ask him to get dressed so that we could go downstairs, but my stomach decided to do the talking for me, letting out the loudest growl I’d ever heard.

  “What the fuck was that sound?”

  “I’m hungry,” I answered simply, too famished to even worry about being embarrassed about the noise.

  “I guess we should get some food in you then,” he said, sounding almost regretful as he released me to get out of bed.

  “That would be nice.” I smiled, admiring his backside as he moved around the room, again, completely comfortable and not in the least bashful about his nakedness.

  For a blinding second, I pictured an alternate future where this would occur on a daily basis and for that tiny second, I felt… happy.

  Damn stupid hormones for making me think and feel things I shouldn’t.

  Chapter 11

  ◆◆◆

  “DO YOU MIND if we stop by my dad’s house on the way?” I asked Cailean as he settled in the driver’s seat, getting ready for the long drive home. While I wanted nothing to do with my dad at the moment after he didn’t show up yesterday, I still felt some sort of obligation to tell him my news in person. No matter how much Diane had blabbered when she got home yesterday.