Always Yours

by Grace Owens

  The whole time, his eyes never left my face and I found myself having a hard time tearing my gaze away. It was as if we were in a bubble, nothing else mattered in that moment except the way we made each other feel.

  “I can feel you getting close.” He grabbed a hold of my hips to help me move on top of him faster. “Tell me what you need.”

  “More,” I pleaded, my fingers finding a grip in his hair. “I need more.”

  I didn’t need to explain further. I didn’t even think I could have even if he hadn’t understood my body the way he did. Luckily for me, he knew exactly what I needed and managed to get one hand between us to stroke me where we were joined while his mouth teased my nipple.

  I tossed my head back, unable to look at him as my orgasm soared through my body. If Cailean hadn’t had a tight hold of my body as I rode through the ecstasy, I would have fallen off the couch.

  “Ah, fuck,” he groaned, holding me still as he emptied himself inside me.

  There was no sweeter sound I had ever heard from him than when he came. It sent shivers all throughout my body and I swear I got goosebumps.

  I massaged his scalp as his breathing against my neck slowed down and we both came back to earth. Sharing an experience like this with him always got to me. It amazed me how two people that were so opposite of each other could work together so well.

  “You have to let me go so I can go clean up real quick,” I whispered even though I made no move to fight his hold.

  “Or we can just stay here all night.” He twitched inside me as if to make a point.

  “Hmm,” I hummed, oddly content where I was and when his big hands began stroking my back, I would be asleep in minutes if I didn’t get up. So, after a little while, I finally got off him. Both of us groaned in protest as our bodies separated.

  This time when I walked out of the bathroom, he was slung out on the couch, controller in hand as if he belonged there.

  “I thought you said you had a bar to run,” I commented and hesitantly sat down next to him, not really knowing what to do.

  “I have the night off. I just wanted you to get your shit so I could get you over to my place sooner.” He eliminated the space between us by pulling me to his side. While he had put his clothes back on and we weren’t skin to skin anymore, it still felt intimate. “I figured we could watch a movie or something. Maybe get you some real food to eat.”

  I cringed at the sight as he gestured to the empty container of ice cream and a bag of chips on the coffee table. To be fair, it was the only thing in my kitchen that I could stomach right now.

  “Nothing in my kitchen sounded good,” I said defensively.

  “Here, you pick something to watch and I’ll go get us something.” He got up and handed me the controller. “Just please don’t pick some mopey and weepy shit.”

  With a quick kiss and checking his pockets for his things, he was almost at the door when I called out, “Mashed potatoes.”

  “Mashed potatoes?”

  “Yes, I could kill for some mashed potatoes right now. And coleslaw. Oh, and don’t forget the bread!”

  He looked at me with a confused expression for a minute before nodding. I didn’t find anything wrong with my request, just some good ol’ American cooking.

  “I’ll be back.”

  And he did come back with a big bag from KFC with everything I had requested, but enough to feed at least another five people. Leftovers, he had explained because apparently he didn’t like my choice of ice cream and chips for dinner.

  He stayed with me that night and after having his way with my body once again - not that I was complaining - he just held me until I fell asleep. I knew then that my decision had already been made.

  ↞ ♥ ↠

  It only took one of Cailean’s boxes for my most precious possessions and then a bag for the clothes that still fit me. There were only a couple of things left to grab at the apartment, but the furniture had come with it so there wasn't much.

  It was humiliating to walk through the doors of Murray’s four days later and to add to the pile of shit was my car. It had refused to start after I had gotten off work for the very last time, so here I was, close to tears with one small box, a bag of clothes and a recommendation letter. Sure, I could have waited to move until the weekend, but I had been driving around with my things in the trunk of my car for a couple of days now and Cailean’s bar was closer and within walking distance while mine wasn’t. I’d taken my car’s breakdown as a sign that it was time to suck it up and just get it done with.

  “Hi, Gertie,” Charlotte greeted as if we’d known each other since we were kids. To be honest, I hated faked kindness, but there was something about Charlotte that was growing on me the more I saw her. “Do you need any help with that?”

  I looked down at the box in my hands and shook my head. I was still ready to bolt and I wouldn’t be able to if she took my stuff.

  Where will you go?

  “Is Cailean here?” I asked, looking around. The bar was starting to fill up, which wasn’t a surprise since it was a Friday night.

  “No.” She shook her head. “But Sebastian is; want me to get him?”

  “No, thank you,” I answered. If Sebastian saw me, Hanna would find out about my situation before I was ready to tell her. “I’ll just wait for Cailean.”

  “Okay, want me to store your stuff back here?”

  I looked between her and my box, knowing it would be in the way as the bar got busier, but I still wasn’t ready to not bolt. In the end, I let her put it in the staircase that lead to Cailean’s apartment. I should have just asked her if she had a spare key to the place so I could wait up there, but surprisingly, the atmosphere of the bar soothed me. So I stayed and chatted with her when she had a few minutes to spare while sipping on a soda. I learned that she had been working for Cailean and Sebastian for almost a year now, and that she was going back to school for a Bachelor’s Degree in Education.

  Impressive. Maybe I should go back to school?

  For what, I didn’t know. My passion had always been numbers and money, making everything come together in full circle.

  “You’re married?” I asked, gesturing toward the two rings hanging from a chain around her neck.

  “Oh,” she uttered and quickly tucked them back inside her top. “Um, sort of-”

  “Gertie?” Sebastian asked, interrupting whatever Charlotte was about to say.

  “Hey,” I said with a shy smile, turning toward him. I didn’t know how to explain my reasoning for being here, but at least my things were tucked away so I didn’t look like a homeless person anymore.

  “Cailean should be back soon,” he explained, his brown eyes full of questions. He knew how I felt about Cailean so his confusion as to why I would want to see him made sense. He scratched his black beard, something he had let grow out after the wedding, and asked, “Did you want to wait in the office or something?”

  “I’m good, thanks. Charlotte’s been keeping me company.”

  “Right.” He made a move to leave, but turned back to me before he could. He seemed hesitant, almost as if he wanted to say something, but didn’t really know how. Sebastian may be married to one of my best friends, but other than that, we didn’t really have much in common. “Look, Cailean may be my cousin and all, but me and Hanna will always be here if you need anything.”

  His eyes shot down toward my midsection as if to tell me that my baby was included in that sentiment. It was sweet and a bit unnerving that he seemed to know what was going on.

  “Thank you,” I answered. Truly, what else could I have said? Besides, it seemed our conversation made him a bit uncomfortable so I didn’t want to drag it out longer than necessary.

  Turned out, I didn’t need to wait long before Cailean came back.

  “Gert?” he asked from behind me. I spun around to face him and noticed that he was wearing gym clothes, and looked a bit out of breath and sweaty. Now, that should have grossed me out, but instead
it had the opposite effect. “What are you doing here?”

  “I’ll give you three guesses,” I replied sarcastically.

  He stepped into my space and gave me a chaste kiss before asking, “Where are your boxes?”

  How the bastard knew exactly what I was doing here, I had no idea. Not that it would take a rocket scientist to figure it out, but still.

  “My things are in the stairwell. I didn’t have a key,” I answered with a shrug.

  “We’ll take care of that.” He grabbed my hand, giving me no choice but to follow him. “This is all you brought?”

  I looked to the box and the bag that he was pointing at. “Yes. I mean, I have a few heavier things, but that’s all I need for now.”

  Instead of answering me, he let my hand go and took both of my things without much effort. Granted, he was in better shape than me, but I had been huffing and puffing a bit after carrying them from my car and here he was, not even breaking a sweat.

  Unlocking the door, he carried my box over to the coffee table.

  “If you don’t mind, I’m just gonna hop in the shower real quick.”

  “Sure.” What else was I supposed to say? Did he want me to join him? Was he giving me space so I could unpack? I felt like a fish out of water as I watched him walk toward the bathroom, dropping my duffle bag by the bedroom.

  “Feel free to snoop. I shouldn’t be too long,” he said with a wink and didn’t even bother closing the bathroom door behind him.

  Me? Snoop? Pfft. Right.

  Okay. I could admit, I was a snooper, but this was different. It didn’t feel right. He had invited me to share his home and snooping felt as if I was invading what little privacy he had left.

  Seeing the apartment with new eyes, I noticed that it felt a lot smaller than it had the other times I’d been there. The bathroom was right next to the bedroom and opposite that was a small closet that was now open, and not a closet at all. It was my new laundry room. While it was only big enough to hold the washer and dryer, it was a big upgrade from the laundromat I was used to. The kitchen was a bit bigger than mine had been, but still a bit small, and instead of cramming in a dining room table, Cailean had simply put bar stools by the counter. Again, functional, and it wasn’t as if I could complain. It was a lot better than being homeless.

  Cailean joined me in the kitchen a few minutes later, wearing a clean, black t-shirt and jeans. I hadn’t even noticed the shower turning off.

  How will I ever get used to being this close to him?

  “So what are the rules?” I asked, looking around. I didn’t know why I felt so awkward, but I did. Moving in together was a big deal. From now on, there was no escaping him and no avoiding each other. Until I could figure my shit out, as Cailean so nicely had put it a few days ago, this was my new reality.

  “Rules?” He chuckled. “Babe, we’re two adults living together. Rules are unnecessary.”

  Right.

  Aside from college dorm living, I had never actually lived with someone before that wasn’t my parent. Rules had made sense. Rules made things clear. Rules were tidy and neat and easy to organize.

  “As long as things stay the same as before, then fine.”

  “Gert,” he started, trapping me in his arms. “The moment you decided to move in with me, everything changed.”

  “It’s not like you gave me much choice,” I argued.

  “And what choices did you have exactly? It was either sleeping on Allie’s pull out couch or sharing a bed with me. We both knew exactly what you would choose.”

  “I never agreed to share a bed with you.”

  Crap. I hadn’t even thought about that.

  “Let’s be clear on something, Gertie.” He spun me around so I was forced to look into his blue eyes. “You’re staying with me and you’ll be sleeping in that bed with me. End of discussion.”

  I rolled my eyes at his bossiness, but I’d come to expect it when it came to Cailean.

  “No rules, my ass,” I muttered under my breath.

  “If you’re hungry, I got you some mashed potatoes, or there’s some pancake mix in the pantry,” he explained and showed me the shelf that did indeed hold multiple packs of each.

  “You’re not staying?”

  “Sorry, Friday is double-coverage night.” He shrugged his shoulders apologetically and while it was nice to see a side of Cailean that was more on the sweeter side, I definitely didn’t want him to move his schedule around because of me.

  “I didn’t ask you to stop running your bar just because I moved in with you for a couple of weeks. I’ll be fine on my own, you know?”

  “Doesn’t mean I like to leave you up here all alone.”

  “I don’t care. I’m going to take a shower and trust me, I won’t be able to stay awake much longer than that.”

  He groaned and squeezed me tighter. “Don’t mention you naked in a shower and expect me to go back to work.”

  “I’m sure you’ll be too busy to think about me doing anything.”

  “I’m never too busy to think about you.” He bent down and kissed me. I knew by the possessiveness of the kiss that if I didn’t break it off myself, it would turn into much more than a goodbye kiss.

  “You’ve got a bar to run,” I said and stepped away.

  “I do.” He sighed heavily and turned toward the door. “Lock this behind me. I should be back in a couple of hours.”

  I did as he asked, but instead of taking a shower as I had said, I was too busy taking in my new, temporary, home. By the time I was done doing exactly what I told myself not to do, snooping around Cailean’s boringly normal apartment, I was way too tired to stand upright, let alone take a shower.

  Falling asleep in Cailean’s bed was no hardship; apart from being exhausted, his bed felt like heaven and smelled just like him. I didn’t wake up when he got off work, but I did register a pair of strong arms and a warm body envelope me at some point in the night.

  Again, no matter how crappy my day had been, I felt content by the time morning rolled around.

  Chapter 13

  ◆◆◆

  MOVING IN WITH Cailean proved to be pretty easy considering how our relationship had been up to that point. It probably helped that he spent ten or more hours per day down at his bar. Most days, I just saw him briefly in the morning and whenever we ran into each other during the day. It always ended up with him pulling me to his chest when he got home and then we started over again the next day.

  It had been almost a week already and I was going stir-crazy being holed up in his apartment. I had been applying for job after job, but things like that took time to hear back about and I wanted a job now.

  This was why I found myself down at the bar, something I hadn’t really done since the night I moved in. Cailean had gone down after sharing a lunch with me, or breakfast for him, and that was a couple of hours ago. While I didn’t want to seem needy or clingy, I actually missed him. Or maybe I was just lonely.

  “Ran out of things to watch on Netflix?” Cailean asked with a smirk when I showed up in his office.

  “I’m bored.” I shrugged, not really denying his statement. “I’m not used to just sitting around like a couch potato.”

  “You’re pretty cute for a potato,” he joked and pulled me into his lap. From the look of things, he was working on payroll and my fingers itched it get my hands on the numbers.

  “Good, because if I continue this way, you’ll be having sex with one pretty soon.”

  “You’re jokes are terrible, babe,” he said with a chuckle.

  “Yet you’re laughing.” I smiled in triumph.

  “True.” He smiled. “How about you keep Charlotte company while I finish this up and then we can go do something?”

  “Charlotte’s pretty busy and I don’t want to go do something, I want to work.”

  “You’re not working the bar,” he said in a firm tone.

  “I wasn’t saying that. Just maybe let me… help?”

  “H
elp with what, exactly?” he narrowed his eyes in suspicion as he looked at me.

  “These,” I gestured toward the paper in front of him and there was no hiding the excitement in my voice.

  “You want to help me with paperwork?” He was confused and I detected a bit of disgust in his voice.

  “Yes. Can I? Pretty please?” I shot him my best puppy dog eyes.

  “You don’t play fair and if you want to do my paperwork, by all means, weirdo.” He pushed us away from his desk and stood up, setting me on my feet. “You need my help, I’ll be in the bar helping out.”

  And with that, he left me alone in his office. While he hadn’t given me specific instructions on how to complete it, my snooping skills and previous experience had the task completed within a few hours. It felt good to have something to do, something that used my brain instead of turning it to mush, which it felt as if the TV had been doing.

  Walking back out to the bar, a crowd has formed in the hours that I had been holed up in Cailean’s office. I watched him behind the bar from afar, and I couldn’t help but to feel wonder as I saw him interact with his customers. I was perhaps a little bit jealous when a woman would come up and he would flash that smile of his, but other than that, I understood why he had been in such a hurry to get out of the office and back to where he belonged.

  I found an open spot in Sam’s section of the bar and sat down, continuing to watch Cailean pour drinks.

  “Hey, mama,” Sam greeted, his tanned skin making his white teeth flash as he smiled at me. “What can I get you?”

  “A Diet Coke would be nice.”

  “Caffeine-free okay?” he asked, leaning closer. “Boss ordered them specifically for you and we are under strict orders to not serve you anything with caffeine in it.”

  “Of course he did.” I rolled my eyes, not at all surprised by Cailean’s protectiveness. “And it’s fine.”

  He looked relieved as he went to get my drink. It made me wonder if Cailean had prepared them for something worse.

  I sat on that chair, watching Cailean mostly, but also the customers. I’d always been a people watcher, but it had been a while since I had taken the time to just sit down in public. My people watching got interrupted when a guy squeezed in between me and my neighbour. At first I thought he was about to chat her up, but then he turned toward me and did a full once-over. I fought a shudder as his eyes stayed at my boobs. I wasn’t wearing anything revealing, but you could still see a bit of a cleavage and the way he was staring made me regret my choice.