Always Yours

by Grace Owens

  “Can I buy you a drink?” he asked, without meeting my eyes.

  “I’m good,” I answered and gestured toward the drink in my hand.

  “Let me buy you your next one,” he insisted.

  “I know the owner, so there’s no need.”

  Before the guy could respond, Cailean came up behind me. I had been so focused on trying to get the guy to leave, I hadn’t even noticed Cailean leaving his spot behind the bar.

  “You good, babe?” he asked, throwing his arm around my shoulders. He might have asked me the question, but his eyes were on the guy. I wanted to roll my eyes at his behavior, but honestly, I was glad he had showed up when he had.

  “I’m good,” I confirmed and squeezed his hand that was resting on my shoulder.

  I looked up at him, begging him not to cause a scene. I knew what was going through his mind - I’d been watching him interact with women for the past half hour - but the difference between us was that I hadn’t acted on my jealousy. As much as I appreciated him coming to be by my side, him getting into a fight was the last thing I wanted.

  I sighed in relief when he gave me a nod and simply turned his focus off the guy. I thought for sure when the guy turned to leave that Cailean would be going back to help behind the bar, instead he bent down and gave me a toe-curling kiss.

  His kiss was possessive and claiming. While I would have been mad at his alpha behavior, I was glad because it meant that I got to claim him as well. In that moment, in that bar, Cailean Baker was mine.

  “How about we take this upstairs?” he asked huskily when we pulled apart.

  “Well, what are you waiting for?”

  That night I learned what rough jealousy sex felt like and if every time the green eyed monster came out to play resulted in that, then I wouldn’t mind it at all.

  ↞ ♥ ↠

  “Something’s been bugging me since we got back home from Leavenworth,” Cailean admitted after we had just shared lunch the next day. To be honest, something had seemed to bother him since our trip home, but I had been too chicken to confront it. Besides, I had figured it was just his protective nature after the whole fiasco with my dad. He’d been more attuned to what I needed and he had been touching me more and more as if to make sure I was still here.

  “That was two weeks ago,” I said.

  “I know.” He sighed and sat down, pulling me to straddle him. I had a feeling he put us in this position on purpose, to keep me from running away. I was not about to like whatever he was about to say. “It’s been on my mind quite a bit since you moved in and started helping me with the bar.”

  Started helping with the bar seemed to be a big statement; I’d only helped him once and I’d gone down there this morning to look through things. Still, he made it seem as if I was working for him now, and maybe I was. I wasn’t quite sure anymore, but I liked the idea of it so I wasn’t complaining for once.

  “What is it?” I asked, feeling worry spread through my body.

  “I used to hate you,” he started, squeezing my thighs as if he was having a difficult time telling me all this. Was I finally going to find out what I had done so wrong to deserve his bullying? “Like really hate you.”

  “Trust me, I wasn’t liking you very much either.”

  “I hated you because you were so fucking beautiful and pure, and so goddamned innocent. You still are.”

  “Well, that’s dumb.”

  “You came from something so ugly.” I flinched at his words, trying to pull away from him. He wasn’t letting me. “All I kept thinking was, how dare you be so bloody beautiful with your white skin and dark hair? Trade in your overalls for a dress and you would have looked like a Disney princess. I still can’t watch those fucking movies without thinking about you.”

  “I didn’t come from something ugly,” I argued, my body turning to stone at his harsh words. My mom had been the most wonderful person and here he was, calling her ugly.

  “Your dad killed my uncle.”

  “What?” Everything stilled as I tried to process what he was telling me.

  “Your dad killed my uncle,” he repeated. “Ran him over in his semi.”

  “No, he didn’t.”

  “Think. Think real hard about where your dad was for a few years before I came into your life. Think about all the jobs your dad has had since then.” He placed his forehead against mine and looked me in the eyes. I closed them, hoping to erase all the truth I had seen shining in his.

  I didn’t want to think about the three years my parents had been separated, and I didn’t want to think about jobs my dad had supposedly turned down because the pay wasn’t good enough, and I didn’t want to think about the fact that my dad hadn’t worked a real job since way before my mom passed away.

  Because if I forced myself to think about it, everything Cailean was telling me made sense. And there was no way, no matter how bad or drunk my dad was, that he had killed someone.

  Accident or not.

  No way.

  No.

  “It’s not true. If he killed someone, he would still be in prison, Cailean.”

  “Vehicular homicide and he got out after not even serving half his sentence.”

  I got off his lap and this time he let me. Pacing the floor in front of him, I tried to make sense of what he was telling me, but it still couldn’t be true.

  “It’s not true,” I repeated.

  “We moved here to fight your dad getting released. My uncle had run a dental office over in Leavenworth so while the trial and everything was going on, my dad stayed there and kept things running and to make sure your dad got put away for good.”

  “Your parents invited me for dinner,” I argued, because who would invite the daughter of the person who killed your brother for dinner?

  “Because they know you’re not your father. I was so young when my dad decided to move us over here permanently and I blamed you for that.”

  “So you decided you had to get me drunk, marry me and then proceed to fuck me.” Tears pooled in my eyes at the realization that everything had been a lie. “Why? To get revenge?”

  “Marrying you? Yes, that was revenge. The fucking was just an added bonus.”

  Wow. Was this really happening?

  “Good to know.” My words sounded cold even to me, but his whole confession just proved that he was still the same person. How had I let him get this control over me again? It looked as if my dad had been right for once.

  Gosh, had he really killed someone?

  “Babe, stop,” he said, trying to prevent me from leaving the living room by grabbing my hand. I hissed at him and put as much distance as possible between us. “I realized when we went up to see my parents that you’re nothing like your dad.”

  “And what about our baby? Was that all planned, too? Trap me with you forever. Now, that would be an epic revenge.”

  I was pacing around the apartment, trying to find everything I needed to get out of here.

  To leave. I needed to leave.

  I couldn’t be in the same room as Cailean a minute longer.

  “Gert, stop, please.”

  “Although, since I’m such an ugly person, I can’t for the life of me understand why you would even want to be married to me, let alone be tied down with me forever.”

  I had finally managed to put on a coat and a pair of shoes. I could come back for the rest of my stuff later.

  “Just finish listening to me, please,” Cailean pleaded, blocking the front door. “I don’t think you’re an ugly person at all, and I know that now, but I didn’t know you back then.”

  “The baby, Cailean,” I whispered on a broken sob.

  He grabbed my cheeks in his palms, forcing me to look at him. Tears were flowing in steady streams, no matter how many times his thumbs tried to dry them.

  “I love our baby, Gertie. If you won’t believe anything else, at least believe me when I tell you that. All those feelings of hate are in the past and I wish so fucking badly
that I could take it all back, but I can’t. You deserved to know the truth and I know I should have told you sooner. Probably that morning in Vegas, but then I saw you again at the wedding, so fucking beautiful, and then you hit me with the pregnancy tests and everything just seemed so right. I couldn’t ruin what we had with the past again.”

  “Instead you waited until I was stuck with you. Clever, Cailean. Very cleaver. Now I live with you and I work for you. You waited until I was truly with you to hit me with this?”

  “I didn’t plan for it to be this way.”

  “I need you to move,” I said, trying to calm myself. I had heard his reason for bullying me, for continuing to manipulate me, but I didn’t have to stay to listen to his excuses.

  “Where are you going to go?” I hated him for the concern that was shining bright in his eyes so I pushed his hands away so I wasn’t forced to look at him anymore.

  “None of your business, now move.”

  “At least take the car,” he pleaded and reached over to the entryway table for the keys to the Volvo. He must have been crazy if he thought I was going to use his car.

  “Move.”

  “Take the car or I will physically restrain you. You’re not walking the Seattle streets alone.” He pushed the keys out to me again. I hadn’t hated my car for failing on me as much as I did in that moment. I hadn’t needed it and didn’t think too much of it when Cailean had called a tow company to get it from my ex-employer’s parking lot. It wasn’t as if I had needed it lately. “Your choice.”

  “Fine.” I snagged the keys out of his hand, but he still wouldn't move. “Now, move or I will kick you where it hurts. Pregnant or not.”

  He sighed heavily, but he finally moved out of my way and I wasted no time leaving. The door slammed shut behind me as I rushed down the stairs. I didn’t even bother saying anything to Charlotte or Sam as I passed them and made my way through the crowd.

  The Volvo was standing in the spot next to Cailean’s monster truck, so I had no problem finding it. I managed to get inside the brand-new-smelling car before the sobs started.

  I took deep breaths, trying to calm myself down enough to drive, but what was the point? I had nowhere to go. I could have gone over to Allie’s, but she would question everything and I wasn’t ready to admit what a giant mistake I had made moving in with Cailean. There was Hanna, but with Hanna came Sebastian and there was no way I wanted him to see this. I had handed over the keys to my old apartment earlier in the week. Like I had said, the bastard had probably planned exactly when to tell me. Either that or he had impeccable timing.

  Pulling out my phone, I dialed my dad. I didn’t want to talk to him, but on the off chance that he actually answered my call, I needed to confront him about everything Cailean had just told me.

  “Yeah?” he grumbled into the phone.

  “Is it true?” I asked, my voice cracking.

  “What’s true? I’ve told you not to listen to anything the Bakers tell you.”

  “You know what I’m talking about. Yes or no, dad?” I spit the last word at him, already knowing he would continue to play dumb.

  “I had nothing to do with it, Gertie. It’s all lies.”

  No, he was the one full of lies. I could tell by the defensive tone he was using.

  “How could you?”

  “How can you?” he asked angrily. “I raised you and you choose to believe them over your own father.”

  “You didn’t raise me. My mom did.”

  With that, I hung up on him and I was pretty sure that was the last time I would ever speak to him again.

  Even though my dad had confirmed what Cailean had just told me, it didn’t mean that things suddenly became clear. My husband had still married me out of revenge and my dad had still killed someone. By accident or not.

  I sat in that car for hours, going over my options in my head, but every time I thought of something, I would quickly realize what a horrible idea it was or how I didn’t have money for an indefinite hotel stay.

  Finally, after knowing Cailean would be locked up in his office or too busy in the bar to notice me, I opened the car and got out. I didn’t care if he expected me to come back or not, but I refused to return to his apartment in shame of my outburst, so I kept my head held high as I walked back through the bar doors. No one paid me any attention and I was thankful that the bar was busy enough that I was able to sneak back upstairs unnoticed.

  The apartment was dark and quiet when I got back, so Cailean probably hadn’t expected me to come back.

  Good. I hope he’s miserable, I thought as I took my clothes off and got ready for bed.

  I locked the bedroom door behind me, knowing that he would try and sleep in the same bed as me unless I physically kept him out. Hearing it click into place felt final, as if this guy had now taken another piece of my heart.

  Chapter 14

  ◆◆◆

  “GERTIE?” HANNA ASKED, looking at me expectantly. I must have tuned out whatever they were talking about because I had no clue what the conversation had been about.

  My mind had been going over what had happened between Cailean and I almost a week ago. I had been locking the bedroom door every night ever since that first time, but I didn’t know why I bothered because every night, Cailean stealthily unlocked it and took his spot next to me.

  I had gone down to the bar every morning before he got up and by the time I was done, he was behind the bar helping Sam and Charlotte. Anything that involved the running of the bar was done through Sebastian.

  And then repeat.

  Day in and day out.

  Avoidance.

  While I was grateful for the space he was giving me, and truly needed, I felt lonely. Which was why I had called the girls to see if they wanted to have dinner with me so I didn’t have to spend another night alone.

  “Hmm? Sorry, I must have spaced.” I tried to rejoin the conversation.

  “I was just asking how your baby daddy drama is going?” Allie asked, waggling her eyebrows.

  “Please don’t call him that,” I said with a groan. “That’s just trashy sounding.”

  “Okay, well, how is the drama with your baby’s father going?” Hanna tried again.

  “That’s not much better.” I cringed. Since when had my life turned into a soap opera? “And not so great.”

  “What did the hubby do now?” Allie asked on a gasp and I shot her a glare. What was so wrong with calling him Cailean?

  “It’s not just him. I was an idiot that decided to move in with him and as if that wasn’t enough, I was also silly enough to agree to help him with the bar.”

  Man, that felt good. I didn’t know why I hadn’t told the girls before now, but it still felt good to finally have someone other than Cailean to talk to. Or not talk to, which was what we had been doing this past week.

  “You did what, now?” Hanna asked, leaning in as if she possibly hadn’t heard what I had just said.

  “Why on earth would you do that?” Allie asked in confusion.

  “Because I wasn’t able to find a job before the lease of my apartment was up. I couldn’t afford to keep it.” I shrugged my shoulders, trying to act nonchalant instead of embarrassed.

  “You could have come to us, Gertie.” Allie was unable to hide the hurt in her voice and I felt slightly guilty, but I still would have gone about everything the same way. “I mean, I wouldn’t have been able to give you a job or anything, but I have a spare room.”

  “He’s paying you?”

  “He is.” In fact, I had gotten my first paycheck yesterday; way more than I had made at my previous job, but a paycheck nonetheless.

  “Cailean doesn’t need help with the bar, you know that, right?” Hanna clarified. “Sebastian is bringing home a pretty decent amount of money.”

  “I know he doesn’t,” I said defensively. I wasn’t that naive. It had only taken me one day of helping him to figure that out, but I had been desperate for something to do. “I wasn’t e
ven expecting him to pay me, but it’s a paycheck until I can get a new job.”

  “Okay, it seems you have everything figured out, so what’s the problem exactly?” Allie asked.

  I didn’t want to get into the details of what Cailean had shared, it seemed too private somehow. “We got into a huge argument and now I feel as if he trapped me.”

  “Oh, Gertie,” Allie said sympathetically.

  “No, don’t ‘Oh, Gertie’ me, Allie. I know couples fight, but guess what, most couples marry out of love and they have that love worth fighting for. We don’t have that.”

  “You have a mutual love for that baby growing inside you,” Hanna said, pointing to my belly. “I would say that’s something worth fighting for.”

  Well… when she put it like that.

  I nodded and cradled my stomach. It was true, the baby was worth fighting for. As much as I wanted to hate on Cailean, I knew he loved our child. I saw it every night when he pulled me in close and put a protective hand on my stomach. I had seen it in his eyes that awful afternoon when he told me all those horrible things about my dad - which I had buried deep inside me for a day when I was ready to confront it and process it. My dad hadn’t tried to call me back, not that I had expected it, and I hadn’t told Cailean about it.

  I wanted to see him as the man my mom had fallen in love with and continued to fight for until the day she died. But I simply couldn’t do that anymore.

  I might not ever admit to myself that my dad had done, but again, I would deal with that another time.

  Probably in a long, long time.

  Maybe never.

  Unaware of the turmoil inside my head, the girls went on with the conversation, discussing their lives and relationships like they always did. Normally, I would butt in and give my two cents, but tonight, distraction was all I wanted and that was exactly what they provided