Never Enough: A New Adult Romance

by Annie Green

  “Are you sleeping with him?” my mom asked snottily.

  My cheeks flushed involuntarily, but I kept my gaze steady. “No,” I lied. “Do you really think I’m that much of a slut?”

  “I don’t know you anymore, Temperance. You dress like one…maybe you’re acting like one too.”

  “That’s enough, mom,” Jed said as Nik shot me a sympathetic glance.

  It was my mom’s turn to feel embarrassed. With flushed cheeks, she leaned across the table, anger filling her large green eyes. “I will convince your father to make you move home. I won’t have you wasting your time with rock bands and delinquents.”

  “I’m not moving home, mom,” I replied. “Cut me off, disown me, but I’m living my life. It’s my time now. Not yours.”

  She huffed furiously and I thought she was going to hyperventilate. She managed to keep it together, much to my surprise. Needless to say, my mom didn’t talk to Jed or me for the rest of our time there. She spoke only to Nik who had eaten at least three plates of food.

  When it was finally time to go, I was coiled tight. I needed a massage, a drink and a movie. Not in that order. Any of those could be subbed out for sex with Damien. Maybe I could convince him to do it once more. He didn’t seem opposed to that suggestion last night.

  “Bye, mom,” I said, leaning forward to hug her, but she turned and walked away as expected. My father however, leaned forward and placed his thin arms around me. His hug was flimsy at best, just like his will and I fought back my disgust. He should be the one protecting me from my mom’s insults. Instead he sat back and let his wife bulldoze his kids. Pretty soon, if my mom continued her warpath, neither Jed nor I would visit them anymore.

  “See you next Sunday,” I told him as Jed and Nik made their way out the door. Nik of course had a plate full of food he didn’t want and he looked a little nauseous.

  “Eat too much?” I asked him when we were finally at our cars. Being out of my parent’s house allowed me to breathe for the first time since arriving.

  “Yeah. Way too much. Hanging out with your family was easier when you and Jed were pushovers. What the hell is going on?”

  I shrugged. “They just put too much stock in us. It’s hard living vicariously through other people.”

  “Tell me about it. Your mom looks way older than she did when I left a year ago. I think you guys are causing her to age prematurely.”

  “Yeah and nice touch with the rock band,” my brother added.

  “It wasn’t a lie. I was asked to come to a practice and see if I wanted to join.”

  Nik and Jed’s eyebrows rose and Jed asked, “What? You weren’t joking?”

  “What band?” Nik asked.

  “My roommate and the guy you met, Jonathan. It’s their band. Silence and Sorrow or something like that.”

  “Cool, well when you guys play tell me. I’d love to come see you up there all rock and roll, playing your cello,” Nik said handing me the plate of food. I took it, knowing I’d probably throw it away at home. After that I’d lost my appetite.

  “Well, I’m going to see if I like them. Damien listens to metal most of the time so I can only imagine what the band sounds like.”

  “Yeah, I remember,” Nik said. “But I doubt that a metal band is going to ask a cello player to come join them.”

  “Yeah, you’re right,” I said.

  Jed wrapped his arm around me and pulled me into his side. “Well, I’m happy for you, Tempie. You need to play because you love it. I’m glad to see you’re no longer living for our parents.”

  I squeezed him back. “Thanks. I’m proud of you too.”

  Jed glanced down at my neck and tugged on the end of my scarf. “What’s under there?”

  I clamped my hand down on the fabric and shook my head. “Nothing. Just a style.”

  “You’re a terrible liar,” Nik said. “You’ve been messing with that all afternoon.”

  “I have not,” I insisted, not moving my fingers from their resting place. “And it’s none of your business.”

  “Who gave them to you?” Jed asked and my eyes widened. I shouldn’t have been surprised. He was a guy after all. He knew all the tricks.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said lamely.

  “Twenty bucks it’s her roommate. I saw how he was looking at her,” Nik chimed in and I scowled at him.

  “Shut up, Nik,” I growled.

  “Just be careful, Tempie. I know guys like him. It won’t end well.”

  I dropped my hands to my sides and sighed. “Thanks, but I can look out for myself.”

  “I know,” Jed replied and took a step back. “I just don’t want you to be hurt. I never want you to be hurt.”

  “I know you are just looking out for me, but I’m fine, really. Nothing bad is going on. Just having fun.”

  Nik’s eyes shot to Jed and then to me. “Well, I hate to break up the bonding fest, but we need to run,” Nik said, jingling his keys. “We have a game to catch.”

  Jed pulled away from me and smiled. “See you soon, sis. Love you and be careful.”

  “Love you too,” I replied before sliding into my car.

  I didn’t like that Nik had suggested I was sleeping with Damien. It would only make Jed nervous and worry about me. But he needed to know I could take care of myself and whatever happened I could handle it on my own. I was just starting to forge my own path. My parents had protected me for way too long. I wanted to experience life, to take what I wanted and really live.

  ***

  When I got home it was still early afternoon, so I pulled on some running clothes and went for a long jog. It helped me clear my head and by the time I arrived home, my mind felt a little less cluttered.

  So I took a shower and slid into bed. Putting my laptop across from me, I selected a slew of scary movies to watch. It was the one genre that could effectively distract me from the anxious thoughts that were starting to creep into my mind.

  My parent’s threats had scared me. While they had cut me off financially, it was only temporary. I knew if I told my parents I’d gladly move home, they’d give me back everything I’d previously had. But knowing I wasn’t going to move home under any circumstances, made me realize I was going to have to be financially solvent. They’d probably take my car away too since they had bought that for me, which meant I would have to start saving for a new one.

  And then there was Damien. I pressed my thighs together to stem the ache building there. We had sex three times, each more amazing than the last, but then he’d left, leaving me cold and alone. I knew it had something to do with that girl and those tattoos. I still hadn’t had a chance to thoroughly examine them because Damien had done wicked things to my body, but I had a gist. Words like ‘love’ and ‘loss’ and ‘sadness’ were etched into his skin. I hadn’t read the script in its entirety, but I wasn’t dumb. That girl had done a number on him.

  I really wanted to see what the new tattoo looked like, but he didn’t show me and after he pushed into me, I had forgotten all about it. I was pretty sure I had clawed my way down it too, but it didn’t seem to bother him. He had been just as wrapped up in the sex as I had. Then he left early that morning, which disappointed me immensely. Not that I had expected a commitment. We had agreed that it was just that once. But it would have been nice to feel those strong arms around me when I woke up.

  It was ridiculous though. How I thought I could remain indifferent to him after what we’d done was just silly. I was probably more into him than I was before.

  As my thoughts began to spiral to a place of no return, I pushed play and allowed myself to become consumed by the horror on my screen.

  Chapter Nine

  Damien

  When I got home from work, all the lights in the house were on. This had never happened before and I immediately began to worry that something had happened to Temperance. I hadn’t seen her since she ran from the house earlier and while she hadn’t seemed upset, I couldn’t
help but wonder if she was okay. The sex we’d had was rough and punishing. And we did it quite a few times. What if I had hurt her?

  I shoved my car keys into my back pocket and took the stairs two at a time until I was at Temperance’s door. I didn’t even bother to knock. Instead I strolled in like I had that right, like we were a couple.

  She didn’t seem to notice, however. I found her curled up on her bed, her long legs bare except for that damn large t-shirt she wore to bed every night. A blanket was covering half of her face as she stared at her computer screen.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked, walking toward her. I couldn’t help the concern that seeped out of my voice.

  She glanced up, her green eyes wide. “Oh, hey. Nothing, just watching scary movies,” she replied with a croak.

  My chest deflated and I felt my muscles relax. She was okay. Just scared. “Why are you watching this garbage?” I gestured to the screen and she shrugged, pulling the blanket up past her eyes. She was so fucking adorable I couldn’t stand it.

  “If it scares you so much why don’t you just turn it off?”

  “I want to see who lives,” she replied through the fabric. I reached over and tugged it down.

  “Scoot over,” I said. I really shouldn’t have tempted myself like that. Watching movies with Temperance wasn’t casual. It seemed a whole hell of a lot like friendship and that’s when things could get messy, but I couldn’t just leave. I wanted to be around her.

  She moved over and I lowered myself beside her. She nestled into my side and I wrapped my arm around her. Inhaling deeply, I caught a whiff of her fading perfume and a hint of her shampoo. Her nearness and her scent reminded me of last night and I instantly wanted her again.

  “Oh my God,” she said burying her face in my neck as some creepy little girl popped out on the screen.

  I squeezed her. I really wanted to set her in my lap and slowly lift that shirt off of her, but I didn’t know if she wanted me like that again. Trying to distract myself from the sex-filled images floating through my mind I asked, “Why are you watching this if it scares you so much?”

  “It distracts me,” she said, her lips brushing against my skin as she spoke.

  “Distracts you from what?”

  She glanced up at me, putting her mouth temptingly close to mine. “From you, my family, from everything going on. It takes my mind off it.”

  I didn’t want her to be distracted from me, but I didn’t say that. Instead I pulled her closer and asked, “What happened with your family?”

  She reached over and paused the movie. “Do you really want to know?”

  I nodded. I shouldn’t have because it was just going to complicate things. When I just knew she played the cello, was a music major and worked at a coffee shop things were simple. I could keep my distance. But the more I learned about her, the more I liked her. She was strong, willful and incredibly, wickedly dirty.

  “My parents are mad that I’m living away from home.”

  “Why?”

  “They want to control me. They’re scared that if I leave I am going to give up the cello.”

  I glanced down into her green eyes and noticed for the first time that there were gold flecks within. “And are you?”

  “No, but I’m pretty sure I don’t want to major in music anymore.”

  “What would you do instead?”

  “I don’t know. I’ve never really thought about what I’d like to do. It’s always been what my parents have wanted for me.”

  “So do it,” I replied.

  “They’ve threatened to stop paying for school if I do that. They’ve already taken away the credit cards and everything else they’ve been paying for. But you know? I don’t really mind it. It just gives me more freedom. I kind of like being out from under their thumbs.”

  “So why does losing their financial support for school scare you so much?”

  “I don’t know. I guess it’s just such a huge expense…”

  “And thousands of students make it every year on school loans. If you want to change majors and your parents pull their support, do it yourself. That’s what I was going to do.”

  Her eyebrows rose. “Was?”

  Shit. I had shared too much, but I couldn’t backpedal now. Instead I just nodded, hoping it would be enough of an answer. It wasn’t.

  “So what happened? I thought you didn’t finish school,” she asked.

  “I haven’t. I made it through my freshman year and then I dropped out. My dad was pissed and refused to pay for anything of mine again.”

  “Was it scary? Losing that?”

  “No. A lot was going on at the time and having my dad not pay for things was the least of my worries.” And wasn’t that true. In fact, I was still pissed at my dad for his lack of support in my decision to drop out of school and live with Sophia. If I had a son who’d done what I had I’d be proud. My father had basically disowned me.

  “Will you tell me what happened that made you drop out?”

  I didn’t reply for a moment and she let it go. It wasn’t that I didn’t want her to know. Sophia was a huge part of my life and had defined the last three years of my life, but I hated what knowing did to people. I didn’t want Temperance to be with me because she pitied me. Trust me. I’d had plenty of offers for pity sex the past year. It hadn’t interested me one bit.

  Understanding flickered through her eyes and my heart swelled with affection for her. I quickly stamped it down.

  “So where’s your dad now? Do you still talk to him or did your decision ruin your relationship?”

  “It ruined it. We haven’t talked in years.”

  Her eyes widened. “Really? Do you miss him?”

  “Sometimes, but I miss who I’d like him to be. To be honest, he was never the ideal father. Walking away from him wasn’t nearly as hard as it should have been.”

  “I’m sorry,” she said before pausing a moment and adding, “Thanks for sharing with me. I know you don’t really do that often.”

  I hadn’t shared that much, but it was enough to damage the casual nature of our relationship. The few things she now knew about me made it a whole hell of a lot easier to open up fully. I didn’t want that kind of exposure. I wanted to keep myself folded up nice and neat, not rolled out and vulnerable.

  I changed the subject, distracting her from me. “So how was lunch besides that?”

  Her lips turned up at a memory. “Well, my mom was all down my throat and my brother’s, which made Nik…”

  “Nik was there?” My fingers dug into her arm and she winced. I immediately loosened my grip.

  “Yeah, he usually comes to family lunches.” She glanced up at me, her bright green eyes watching me. “Why don’t you like him? I know you said he’s a dick, but it’s more than that isn’t it?”

  I glanced away and she nestled her face into my neck. “He is just my friend, Damien. I promise.” Damn, she felt so good and her words were a balm to the jealousy spreading throughout me.

  “I don’t care either way,” I managed to say, even though it was a total lie. I did care. I didn’t want her to want Nik. I wanted her to only want me. Me. Not him. I peeked down at her and she was watching me, hurt moving through her eyes. It disappeared quickly, but was there long enough for me to hate myself a little more.

  “Want to watch the rest of the movie?” I finally asked and she nodded. I needed to end this discussion before I exposed myself in a way I couldn’t repair.

  Reaching over to her laptop, she pushed play and we finished the movie in silence. By the time the credits were rolling on the screen, her apparent hurt had dissipated. I hadn’t believed that horror films could reliably distract her, but I was wrong. She was now in my lap. Her head was tucked under my chin and my arms were wrapped around her waist.

  We sat like that for a moment until I reached forward and closed the lid to her laptop. I wanted to run my hands up her thighs and under that tempting shirt she was wearing, but I wasn’t sure if th
at would go over well with her. We had agreed to just once and doing it again tonight would be breaking our agreement. Plus I had been kind of a dick earlier, saying I didn’t care if she was with Nik too. I doubted she’d want me after that.

  But the longer we sat entwined with one another, the most irresistible she became. My fears of being rejected by her were no longer at the forefront of my mind. All the blood had pooled between my legs and I stopped thinking rationally. I actually stopped thinking at all. I only felt everything.

  I leaned my head forward an inch and inhaled her scent. My lips brushed against her ear and I felt her tremble against me. I took that to mean she wouldn’t mind if I ran my tongue along the lobe before drawing it between my teeth. She didn’t pull away. Instead she arched into me, her ass grinding against my cock and I hissed through my teeth. She felt so good and she looked even better.

  “Just this once?” I finally asked when I couldn’t take it any longer. I ran my fingers up her legs until I was gliding over that sensitive spot between her legs so she wouldn’t say no.

  And she didn’t.

  ***

  I wrapped my arms around Temperance’s naked waist as we rested our heads on each other’s shoulders. We hadn’t really moved from where we had been sitting moments earlier. I had turned her around so her legs would wrap around my waist and then tore her shirt off her head. Then I had impaled her over and over again until we were both satiated and weak. I didn’t last long. She was way too wet and felt way too good.

  “That was amazing,” she said against my skin, her warm breath brushing tenderly against my cheek.

  “I know,” I replied. It was all I could really say. Words couldn’t express how good she felt when she was near me, under me, enveloping me.

  She lifted her head and our eyes met. The dark green depths were hooded by her heavy eyelids and I resisted the urge to kiss her. Doing so would be way too intimate.

  “How are you feeling?” she asked.

  I couldn’t answer that question truthfully. I wanted to tell her that she was a sex god, that she was so fucking beautiful and that I never wanted to leave her, but I figured that would scare me just as much as it would her. So I stuck with a generic answer. “Great.”