Love's Sweet Surrender

by Love's Sweet Surrender (lit)

  They all sat down to eat with the children chattering about what they had done during the day and what interesting things they’d found in their explorations while the adults sat quietly listening.

  When everyone had finished their meal, Seth cleared his throat and slid a look at Lily. “Children. I need your attention for a minute.”

  All eyes turned to look at Seth.

  “I know you all like Miss Lily very much as your schoolteacher.”

  “Yes, sir.” Johnny’s reply echoed through the room while the other two nodded their heads in agreement.

  “Well, how would you like it if she came to live here with us?”

  Lily held her breath waiting for some reaction from the children.

  “Live here?” Jarod asked.

  “Yes, live here with us, all the time.” Seth waited patiently for the next question.

  “How would that be, Pop?” Johnny asked, his gaze ricocheting back and forth between Lily and Seth.

  “I’ve asked Lily to be my wife, and she’s agreed. We will be married in the next few days, I expect.” Seth took her hand in his and looked at her. She stared back when the "next few days" part sank in.

  “You are gonna be our new mommy?” Anne asked from the end of the table, and all eyes turned to her.

  “Yes, I guess so, sweetie.” Lily had to pull her hand from Seth’s grasp when Anne bounded around the table and jumped into her lap. The child hugged her around the neck, and Lily had to smile.

  “No!” yelled Jarod, jumping to his feet and storming off to his bedroom, where he slammed the door behind him.

  “I’ll go talk to him.” Seth rose to his feet and followed his son.

  Lily was astonished at the terribly hurtful cry that was ripped from Jarod’s throat when he denied what was happening to his family. It hurt her to think Jarod didn’t want her here.

  Johnny said, “It will be all right. He was very close to our mother, that’s all. I’d be happy if you would live here with us. Maybe you can make Pop happy again.”

  “I’ll do my best, sweetheart. I’ll do my best.” Lily continued to watch the closed door as she heard Jarod’s heated voice from behind.

  Several minutes later Jarod and Seth returned to the table. Jarod slowly approached Lily to apologize, but she knew it wasn’t over yet by the anger reflected in his eyes.

  After he made his apology, he asked, “May I be excused now?”

  “Sure, son. We’ll talk later,” Seth answered. “He’ll come around. Don’t worry about it.”

  “I hope so.”

  Later that night, after everyone had gone to sleep, Lily lay in the bed in the guest room, wide awake, with nothing to do but think about what lay ahead for all of them. She finally got up, slipped on her bathrobe and opened her door slowly. She crept through the house and out the front door. The night air was chilly, so she drew the robe tighter around her. She didn’t succumb to the chill and did not retreat into the house. The sounds surrounding her were soothing tonight while she stood on the porch looking out over the yard, watching the moonlight wash across the ground.

  * * * *

  Seth had stepped out onto the porch a little while earlier and sat in the chair to the side of the front door, but he knew Lily was completely unaware of his presence. He watched her several minutes as she stood at the porch railing. A man would be a fool not to want her—and want her he did, with every fiber of his being. His body had a will of its own when she was near, and while he sat there in the silence, his body reacted feverishly to her presence. The thin nightdress outlined her figure and her unbound hair lay in waves down her back and made his fingers itch to touch it. He knew the scent of her hair, even without standing near, and he groaned silently in his misery. How he planned to be married to her, sleeping in the same bed without touching her, he didn’t know.

  Maybe this marriage thing isn’t such a good idea.

  Waves of desire washed over him, and another groan rumbled through him. He wasn’t aware he had let the groan slip from between his lips until he saw Lily turn at the noise.

  “Seth. I didn’t know you were out here.”

  “I know. I didn’t want to disturb you, so I stayed silent. You looked lost in thought.” He didn't rise from his chair. At this point, he wasn’t sure his legs would hold him.

  “Couldn’t sleep?” she asked, stepping closer.

  He had to clear his throat in an attempt to dislodge the lump that had formed when she walked toward him and the moonlight outlined her body beneath the nightdress. The material was almost transparent. With a bit of a squeak to his voice, he said, “No, I was a bit restless, that’s all.”

  The scent of lavender clinging to her hair made matters worse, and he stifled a desperate moan.

  “I know how you feel. I just kept tossing and turning in the bed, so I thought I might as well get up. She sat in the chair next to him making him wonder if he was going to lose his mind with her being so close. "I hope things are all right with Jarod. He seemed so upset with us being married.”

  “He's very upset, but he’ll come around. It’s not that he doesn’t like you. It’s just hard for him to accept anyone else in my life, or his, other than his mother. That’s all.” He took a deep breath, trying to calm his raging desire before he did something stupid, like take her in his arms again.

  “I hope so. He’s a good boy, and I don’t want to do anything to upset him.” She focused on Seth's face and put her hand on his arm while he tried not to flinch.

  She really has no idea what her touch does to me. Sparks zipped down his arm to settle in his groin.

  “Everything all right? You almost sound like you are in pain.”

  He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw, grinding his teeth while he tried desperately to conceal the desire raging through him at her touch. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he said in a near whisper.

  “Are you sure? You don’t sound fine. Is there something I can do to help?”

  His mind raced. He knew only too well just what she could do to help his condition, but he couldn’t tell her. “No. I think I’ll just go back to bed.” He scooted to the edge of the chair but had to stop for a moment to regain control of his body while his rock hard shaft pressed insistently against the front of his trousers.

  “I should return to bed as well. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then. Good night.”

  “Night,” he squeaked in return.

  Before she opened the door to go inside, she looked back over her shoulder, and he almost threw caution to the wind and followed her to her bed.

  Chapter Fourteen

  With the rise of the morning sun, the two adults sat at the breakfast table, reluctant to talk about the events of the previous night, especially in front of the children.

  “We’ll have to make a trip into town today to get your things from the house and talk to the preacher,” Seth said as he finished his food and sipped his coffee. He watched her over the rim of his cup.

  “I suppose so. I’m sure we can do this quickly and silently in town. Maybe just have Madge there. She’s really my only friend here," she sighed, and sadness passed over her features for a moment. "It’s too bad we couldn’t wait a little and have Edward and Kathleen come out, but it would take them time to get here.”

  “We will do this as quietly as you wish.”

  He was certain this wasn’t exactly the way she had planned on getting married. Didn’t every woman wish for a nice wedding ceremony with all her family and friends around? Did he really want to take that from her? Hadn't she mentioned being engaged before she came to Parkville?

  “It’s fine. I never really wanted a big wedding anyway. I’d always kind of thought it would be a nice, small affair." She smiled, and her whole face lit up with mirth. "The matrons and eligible young ladies in town are going to be very upset, you realize. You're one of the most eligible bachelors around these parts, from what I’m told.”

  Eligible bachelor? I don't want a wife, much less any of p
rudes in town. So why in the hell am I marrying Lily? The children. I have to keep telling myself, it's for the children. “Of course, the children will be there. We can talk to the preacher and then figure things out. I’m sure Madge would love to be present. When would you like this to take place?”

  “Uh… maybe in a day or two. Let’s see what the preacher has available. Not like we need to rush, really, except that it’s not proper for me to be staying here,” she said, lowering her eyes.

  “Well, I don’t care much for propriety anyway. Why don’t you get whatever you need to take into town, and we’ll leave shortly then?”

  “All right. I’ll be ready in a minute.” She headed off into the guest room while he went out the front door to hitch the wagon.

  A short time later found them side-by-side on the wagon seat heading for town, with uncomfortable silence stretching between them.

  “Are you really sure you want to do this, Seth? I mean, it would be fine if you've changed your mind.”

  “Yes, I’m sure, and no, I haven’t changed my mind. I know it’s not exactly the kind of situation that you’d like to find yourself in, I’m sure, and if someday you meet someone else that you fall in love with, then I’ll be happy to step aside.”

  “You’d do that?” Lily asked, surprised.

  “If that’s what you wanted. Neither of us is coming into this marriage in love with the other, so if later, you know, after the children are grown, you want to leave, you can. I won’t stop you.” He dared not look at her, otherwise she’d realize her leaving was the last thing that he wanted.

  Silence fell between them for the remainder of the trip.

  * * * *

  When the wagon rolled into town, Seth stopped at the boarding house so Lily could talk to Madge. “I’m going over to the store to get some supplies. I’ll meet you here in about an hour so we can walk over and talk to the preacher.”

  Seth didn’t wait for her response but went back around the wagon after helping her down. He quickly jumped back in, obviously in a hurry to get away from her.

  “Lily,” Madge excitedly called from the door. “Is that you? What are you doing here?”

  “Hello, Madge. Seth dropped me off a moment ago. I need to talk to you, if you don’t mind. Is there somewhere private we can go?” Lily stepped onto the porch surrounding the front of the boarding house.

  “Yes, of course, my dear. Follow me.” Madge led her to the front parlor and closed the door behind them. “How about we go in the back where my private area is?”

  “That would be wonderful.”

  After they had moved into Madge’s private parlor, she closed the door and indicated for Lily to have a seat. “Now, what can I do for you? You seem to be in a strange mood.” Madge seemed to be able to pick up on things Lily wished she couldn’t.

  “Madge, I need to ask a favor. Will you be a witness for me? Like a maid of honor, I suppose.”

  “Maid of honor? I don’t quite understand.” Madge’s eyes opened wide, and she asked, “Are you and Seth getting married?”

  “Yes. I guess you could say that.”

  Madge jumped up, lifted Lily to her feet and hugged her. “That’s wonderful! I think you two will make a beautiful couple. When’s the wedding?”

  Relief washed over her. “Probably in a day or two, depending on the preacher.”

  As a worried frown pulled down the corners of her mouth, Madge fired the questions at Lily in rapid succession. “A day or two? Is there something I should know? Seth didn’t take advantage of you, did he?”

  Lily tried to reassure her as she placed her hand on Madge’s arm. “No, Madge, that’s not it at all. Nothing has happened between Seth and me. He just asked me to marry him the other day. It's protection for me after what happened the other night, and I can be a mother to his children.”

  “You mean you two aren’t in love?”

  The two women sat back down on the settee, and Lily tried to explain.

  “No Madge, it’s not like that. Maybe that will come someday, but for now, it’s just a marriage of convenience, for the children’s sake.”

  * * * *

  Madge listened to Lily talk of the arrangements between her and Seth, and although Lily tried to assure her that she didn’t love him, Madge knew better. She had seen the way Lily looked at him sometimes and how she had so readily accepted his help after the attack. No, this young woman was very much in love with her soon-to-be husband, even if she didn’t realize it herself just yet.

  “I’d be happy to stand up with you,” Madge said, in answer to Lily’s original question. “Are you having a nice, big wedding? I’m sure there are many people who would come, even on short notice.”

  “No, nothing like that. It will be just you, the children, Seth and me, of course. We just want something small and quiet.”

  “You do realize everyone will be twittering about this for some time, you two getting married so quickly and all. There will be talk.”

  “I know, and I personally don’t care. I don’t think Seth does either. When I don't give birth in nine months, they’ll find out that it’s not because I am with child. I’m sure that’s what will be said for the most part.”

  “You are probably correct. I will beat down the gossip as best I can, Lily. I hope you know that.”

  “I knew you were my friend, Madge.” They heard the bell over the front entrance tinkle in the distance.

  “That might be Seth. He was coming back after he finished at the grocer.”

  The two women walked out from the back to find Seth standing in the center of the front parlor.

  “Well?” Seth asked, directing his query to the two women as they walked in.

  “She agreed,” Lily responded to his unspoken question.

  “I’m happy for you, Seth. I think it’s wonderful you two are getting married.”

  Raising a questioning eyebrow at Lily, he remarked, “She does understand what this is all about, right?”

  “Yes, she knows.”

  “Yes, I know all about your reasons behind this marriage of sorts, but I still think you two make a nice couple. Just let me know when, and I’ll be there.”

  “Well, we should head over to the church to talk to the preacher. Thanks again, Madge, for understanding.”

  “Of course, Seth.”

  * * * *

  Seth stood for a moment looking at Lily. He hadn’t really thought how strange this would be, talking to the preacher about marrying someone other than Victoria. The marriage between them had been almost expected, but now here he stood, approaching the preacher about marrying someone else, and it felt outlandish, odd but right. Seth picked up her hand from where it rested at her side and folded her fingers into his own as they turned to walk toward the church.

  When she looked at him with a wide-eyed questioning look, he just said, “We need to keep up pretenses, of course. We can’t just ask the preacher to marry us without giving him the impression we want to get married, right? Besides, the folks in town will start talking soon. See how those two women are spying on us from near the dress shop? It will be all over town by sundown that we were walking holding hands.”

  “I see.”

  Approaching the church, they took a deep breath, walked up the stairs and opened the door to go inside the cool interior. The preacher watched them enter with a curious expression. “Well, hello you two. Is there something I can help you with?”

  They walked up the aisle toward the preacher. “Actually, yes there is. We would like to be married.”

  The preacher almost dropped the plate he was holding in his hands. “Married?”

  He and David had known one another for a very long time. In fact, they had attended school together right here in this town, so David had known both him and Victoria, and when the two of them got married, David was in attendance.

  “Yes, David. Marry. Lily and I.” He was a little amused by the look he was getting from one of his long-time friends.

&nb
sp; “This is rather sudden, isn’t it?” David shifted his look back and forth between them. “I mean, Lily, you’ve only been in town a few weeks.”

  “I know, but Seth and I literally met before I even got here, on the train, and it was an instantaneous attraction, you could say,” Lily told him, which wasn’t totally a lie, but it surprised Seth all the same to hear it come from her lips.

  “Is there a problem, David?” He let go of Lily’s hand for a moment so he could pull her to his side and wrap his arm around her shoulder.

  “No. I suppose not. I’m sure six months or so from now would make a lovely wedding.” David turned to grab his appointment book sitting on the pulpit.

  “Six months? No, David. Two days. Or tomorrow, whichever is easier for you.”

  David almost tripped over the stair as he moved back in front of the couple. “Tomorrow? You aren’t serious, Seth?”

  “I’m dead serious, David. We want to be married tomorrow or the next day. What do you have open?”

  “I… well… let me see.” He scanned the pages in front of him, shifting his eyes to look at Lily, and then back to his book. “I believe either day would be fine.”

  “Which would you prefer, sweetheart?” Seth asked Lily.

  * * * *

  While they stood in front of the preacher discussing the ceremony arrangements, Lily felt a slight panic rising in her chest. Seth had asked her which she preferred, tomorrow or the day after, and when the endearment slipped so easily from his mouth, it gave her goose bumps.

  “Why don’t we say the day after tomorrow? That will give us a little more time to get things together.” The realization of her upcoming marriage to the man standing next to her was becoming overwhelming, and she felt the panic rise further.

  “All right then, the day after tomorrow. Shall we say about one o’clock?” Seth asked Lily, then David.

  “That would be perfect, Seth. Thank you.” She flashed him a brilliant smile while she played the part of the blushing bride and then gave him a quick brush of a kiss on his lips before she turned back to David.