Deceptive Secrets

by RM Walker

  She dug her heels in, refusing to let him push her. “No, Nate. You will listen to me.” She kept her eyes covered with one hand and gripped at his jacket with the other.

  He jerked back from her. “Get out before you give someone a heart attack.”

  “No, I’m not leaving. Not till I say this. Yes, I love them. Yes, I told them this morning. Then Matt got all weird and I ran off like a coward, you know the rest. Thing is, Nate, I haven’t had five seconds alone with you, to tell you that I—” She stopped, blind behind her hand. She was about to hand him her heart having no idea if he felt the same for her.

  “Go on,” he whispered.

  “I love you.” She held her breath but there was no reply.

  Her heart sank, and tears filled her eyes. “You don’t have to say anything. It won’t change anything. They said they loved me, but even if you don’t—”

  His lips stopped the rest of her words. He drew her hand from her eyes and backed up, looking at her but not letting go of her hand. “I love you too.”

  “Really? You’re not just saying that? Y’know, because I said it and you feel awkward and sorry for me.”

  He snorted, rolling his eyes. “Lily May, I love you.” He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed her knuckles.

  She didn’t even try to control the wide smile that took over her face. She went into his arms and buried her face in his neck as he wound his arms around her waist.

  “I’m pleased you kids have sorted this out, but do you think you could let me out now?”

  Lily shot back from Nate, banging into the door. An elderly man stood behind Nate smiling at them.

  “Sorry, sir.”

  The faint tinge of red across Nate’s cheeks was no match for the burn on her own. She held the door open and stepped to one side. “I’m sorry.

  “Most exciting thing to happen to me since ’66 when England won the World Cup.” He went out laughing and the door swung shut behind him.

  Lily buried her face in Nate’s shoulder. “You could have said there was someone in here.”

  “You’re joking. You do remember me trying to get you out, right?”

  “Well, yeah.” Lily lifted her head and held his intense gaze. “Do you really love me?”

  “Yeah, I do. I always will.”

  There was quick tap on the door and it was opened. The bartender stuck his head around and leered at them. “I’ve a queue of gents here asking if you two are finished yet.”

  Lily blushed as he winked at her, and she went through the door with Nate behind her. Two men were standing outside, talking to the elderly man

  “I’m so sorry,” she muttered as scurried past them.

  “’Tis all good, maybe get a hotel next time, be more comfortable.”

  Their laughter rang in her ears as she all but ran back to their table, diving in next to Matt.

  “Whoa. We could fry eggs on your cheeks.” Josh laughed.

  Nate sat beside her and finished his Coke in one swallow.

  “Everyone will think I just did the walk of shame.” She pressed her fingers to her burning cheeks.

  “Well”—Josh looked at his watch—“you’ve only been gone about ten minutes, so, unless Nate is a quick finish, there wasn’t time for you to do the real walk of shame.”

  “Get stuffed.” Nate flipped him the finger and then ruined it by grinning at him.

  “That’s what everyone thought Lily was getting.” Jake cackled and high fived Josh.

  “Guy, stop, please?” Lily begged. “It’s bad enough everyone knew I was in the men’s loo.”

  “Sorry, we didn’t mean to embarrass you—just Nate.” Josh smirked at her.

  “Who needs enemies, eh?” Nate tipped his glass at them and drained his Coke. “But talking about embarrassed, I overreacted, sorry.”

  “S’okay,” Josh said. “Matt suggested something cool though, while you two were prematurely in the loo.”

  “Josh.” Lily groaned, covering her eyes with her hand.

  Jake laughed as Josh tugged gently on her fringe. “Sorry, Lily Pad. Go on, Matt, tell them what you said.”

  “Halloween falls on a Tuesday this year, but it’s also half-term.” Matt looked at her and Nate. “We could go up there and stay for a couple of days.”

  “There’s no way they’d rent a room to the five of us,” Nate replied.

  “No, but the campsite is close enough. We could camp Monday and come back Thursday.”

  “Camping? In a tent?” Lily wasn’t sure she liked the sound of that. “I don’t have a tent.”

  “We do,” Nate said. “We’ve got a six berth, three rooms. We used to go camping every year until Mum decided a bed was better for her back. Dad misses it though.”

  “Reckon he’d come with us?” Jake asked.

  Josh looked at him in horror. “You want a parental unit with us, Jacob?”

  “Why, Joshua, what did you have in mind that we couldn’t do in front of Uncle Adam?”

  Josh gave him a sly smirk. “Besides, we can’t use magic around him.”

  “Yeah, true. He was so much fun though.”

  “Did you go on holiday together?” Lily asked.

  “Yeah, of course,” Josh replied. “That’s why they camped, other than Uncle Adam harping back to his hippy days. When there’s four kids and two adults; camping is cheaper and way more fun.”

  “Whoever went on holiday would take all of us,” Matt explained. “Except for my parents. They’d go skiing for their holiday, and I’d stay with Nate.”

  Lily leant on her hand and sighed when Matt began to rub her lower back.

  “Where did you go for your holidays?” asked Nate.

  “Didn’t really. Mum was always painting and when it was the summer hols we were usually too busy moving and trying to settle someplace else.”

  She saw Josh frown at Jake, and she shook her head. “You don’t miss what you’ve never had.” She didn’t want pity. It was one of those things that didn’t bother her. “Camping sounds different. Won’t it be too cold end of October?”

  Matt put his mouth by her ear. “Nate keeps us toasty warm.” He sat back from her. “That’s why we keep him around. He has his uses sometimes.”

  An urge to tease Nate flitted through her, and she bit her lip to stop the giggles that wanted to erupt. She caught Josh’s eye and winked before turning to Nate and smiling at him.

  “They’re being mean to you, aren’t they?” She lifted her hand and stroked his cheek. “My poor, Iggy, I love you.” She nestled her head on his shoulder, making eye contact with Jake who was beaming in delight.

  “I really don’t like that name.” Nate sounded uncomfortable.

  She pulled back and pouted at him. “Oh, but I thought we could have special nicknames. I’ll call you Iggy and you can call me Snookums.”

  She heard Matt choke on his drink with laughter, but she kept her gaze on Nate, poking her bottom lip out further. “Don’t you like me calling you Iggy?” She sniffed for effect.

  “I like it as much as I’d like getting the plague,” Nate drawled. “I’m warning you, Lily May. Don’t.”

  “It’s okay, baby, I get it.” She pecked his cheek, avoiding his gaze.

  “That’s one happy memory,” Matt smirked. “You being sick all over Wendy’s”—he caught her glare—“ah, Drew’s shoes.”

  “Best moment of our lives,” Jake announced. “Well, almost the best.” He winked at her, his eyes drifting to her breasts.

  She flushed, widening her eyes at him to be quiet. “Back to camping. I’ll need to let Mum know.”

  “Tell them what she said to you this morning,” Josh prompted her.

  His words whisked her happiness away, leaving a deep sadness. She tried to keep the emotion from her voice as she spoke but failed. Nate wrapped his arm around her shoulders as Matt kept up a slow rub on her lower back.

  “She’s worried it’s going to show around you,” she finished.

  “We need t
o talk to her. Maybe get Jonas to talk to her. He’s already said he would,” Nate told her.

  “I think if that happens, she’ll move us away faster than I can blink.”

  “You could come and live with me,” Matt blurted. “We have the room.”

  “Your parents wouldn’t allow that,” Nate said.

  “I could talk to them.”

  “They wouldn’t understand,” Josh said. “You wouldn’t be able to tell them the truth. All they’d think is you wanted to shack up with her under their roof. They’d never agree to that.”

  “And if Lynda throws her out when she refuses to take the tablets?” Matt demanded.

  “She won’t.” Nate shook his head.

  “How can you be so sure?” Lily asked.

  “Because she loves you,” Nate replied. “She’s wrong, but she’s done it to protect you. She’s panicking, and she’s scared.”

  “Drew said the same to me when I lost my temper.”

  Nate made a face but said nothing.

  “I just need to convince her we should stay and that I don’t need the tablets. I’ll talk to her tomorrow when I get home from college. I’ve hardly seen her recently. I should stay in tomorrow evening with her.”

  “That’s probably a good idea,” Josh said.

  “Just sucks from our point of view,” Jake finished.

  “What are you going to do about Drew?” Josh watched her through his fringe. They needed a haircut.

  “I know you don’t like this, and I am sorry, but I need to know what else he says. I want to talk to him still.” She shrugged.

  Jake reached out, took her hand, and stroked his fingers across her palm. Josh placed his fingers on the skin of her wrist. When they all touched her, when they were all focused, their connection was almost tangible.

  “We’ll go along with whatever you want,” Matt said and slid his hand under her jumper to touch her bare skin. Nate’s fingers grazed over her throat, and she sighed.

  “And we’re going to make us work,” Nate stated.

  “Aye.” The whispered agreements caressed her.

  “Aye,” she agreed. “We’ll make it work.”

  A lack of moral code

  “Who told you?” Matt demanded.

  “It doesn’t matter how I found out. I didn’t believe it—until now. You don’t deny it? Any of you?” Harold demanded.

  “Did my dad tell you?” Nate asked, moving to stand beside Matt.

  “No. It wasn’t family,” June answered, standing beside Harold at the kitchen island.

  Relief flooded through Lily, they didn’t need any more betrayal.

  “I don’t know who it was,” Harold said. “It was anonymous, but that’s beside the point. The point is it has to stop.”

  Matt’s arm tightened around her waist. The twins moved closer to her, and Josh slipped his hand into hers. It was a movement that didn’t go unnoticed by June.

  “You have to remember your behaviour reflects on me as an MP. Imagine if the press got wind of this? That you all indulge in group sex orgy.”

  “Rubbish. It is not an orgy,” Nate exclaimed.

  “We’ve not even had sex, why do you have to make it about sex all the time?” Matt demanded. “I love her. We all do.”

  “You’re not even eighteen yet,” June stated.

  Lily avoided eye contact with her, keeping her gaze on the newspaper Harold was tapping his fingers on.

  “A few weeks, Mum, that’s all. But what’s that got to do with it?” Matt clenched his fingers in the material of her jumper by her waist.

  “You’re not old enough to know the difference between lust and love,” June replied.

  “Well, hang on. How—”

  “Maybe not.” Josh interrupted. “But isn’t that for us to learn by experience? Who knows where we’ll be in ten years. We may get the calling and become priests, giving up all sinful fleshly urges.”

  “Oh, for goodness sake, Jake,” June snapped. “Can’t you ever be serious?”

  “He’s Josh, and he was being serious,” Lily spoke without thinking and winced as she caught the fury in Harold’s eyes.

  “What?” June looked at Josh.

  “Lily’s right, I’m Joshua, and we are being serious. We feel like we feel now. Whether that changes or not is still to be seen. But for now, we know we want Lily, and we also want Nate and Matt.”

  “You want your own blood? You’ve perverted our son!” Harold roared, spit flew from his mouth. “June! I told you that nutter was going to ruin Matthew. I don’t care if she is your sis—”

  “No.” Jake shook his head. “You’ve picked it up wrong. Matt and Nate are our brothers, our blood, nothing comes between us.”

  “Except Lily,” June pointed out.

  “No,” Nate said. “She doesn’t. Because we are all involved with her.”

  “You’re all missing the point,” Harold snapped. “Whether you’re in an orgy or not, the fact of the matter is I won’t have a scandal.”

  “Not to mention the morality of it,” June added. “You’re passing her between you.”

  “They’re not passing me around,” Lily exclaimed.

  “Then what are they doing?” she demanded. “Matt has you Monday, Nate gets you Tuesday, and the twins get you Wednesday and Thursday?”

  “It’s not like that,” Lily denied. Indignation rose insider of her, but she stamped it down for Matt.

  “Then how is it? Explain to me how the physical side is going to work. And don’t start saying you’re not having sex with them. You will, if you aren’t already.”

  “I—”

  “I love you, Mum”—Matt interrupted her—“but how we’re together is none of your business, and it never will be. It wouldn’t be your business if it was just me dating her.”

  “Again. I don’t care if you all take turns with her or fuck her at the same time.” Harold slammed his hand down, making Lily jump. “I care about having to answer to the PM why my son is splashed all over the newspapers, because he’s having orgies with the same whore as his cousins! And believe me, it will get out. You know any bit of dirt is used in a fight like this. Elections are next year, Matthew, don’t ruin this family with your lack of moral code.”

  “Lily is not a whore,” Matt ground out. “But while we’re talking about moral codes I guess you’ve just been damn lucky the pages have never got wind of all your little indiscretions, Father. How many is it now?”

  “Matthew.” June’s voice was strangled.

  “What? You must have known I knew. You were never quiet arguing over it. Did you really think I’d never notice the new crockery and vases that would appear? Did you think I never heard you throwing them, Mum?”

  Harold’s face was puce, and Lily didn’t know if it was anger, embarrassment, or both.

  “So, Father, before you go lecturing me about loving one woman, perhaps you should remember all those bloody women you cheated with.” Matt stalked towards the kitchen door. “We’ll sleep somewhere else if Lily isn’t welcome here.”

  Lily scrambled after him, aware of the twins behind her. She heard Nate saying something to June, but she only wanted to get to Matt. She caught up with him at the Land Rover. He was kicking the front tyre repeatedly, his hands in his hair.

  “Matt.” Her heart contracted, and she went to him. She’d expected anger, and it was there, but he was distraught as well.

  “I can’t believe he has the nerve to say that. To lecture me about morals when he’s the biggest cheating bastard I know. He only cares about his career.” He kicked the tyre again. “He doesn’t care about Mum, he doesn’t care about me, just his seat in parliament. Well he can go to hell. Come on, we’re leaving.”

  “Matt, please, calm down.” Lily caught his hand. “You can’t drive like this.”

  He screwed his eyes shut, his fingers curling tightly around hers. “He just—fuck!”

  “He loves you.” Josh put his hand on Matt’s shoulder as Jake moved to Mat
t’s other side.

  “No! All he cares about is his career and reputation. He doesn’t care how I feel. He doesn’t care that Lily makes me happy. He says I’m immoral, but it’s not me he’s worried about, only his image.” He blew out his breath and shook his head. “Every time I’ve had to listen to her cry, listen to him try and worm out of it. Beg for forgiveness, promise never to do it again. God knows how many plates we’ve been through. It’s never his fault though, he’s weak, he’s just a man, she never gives him enough affection—” His voice broke.

  Lily pulled him towards her, and he went into her arms, bending at the waist. The twins moved closer, hands on his back as he buried his head in her neck. This was more than just tonight, this was years of build-up, and it broke her heart.

  “Dad says we can crash there tonight.” Nate’s voice had Matt pulling back from her, turning so they couldn’t see his face.

  “Thanks, Nate. I’m fine now. Sorry about that.” He took out his keys. “How long before you can learn to drive, Lily?”

  His abrupt change of subject threw her for a moment. “I don’t know.”

  “Matthew.” June came out the door, her eyes red from crying.

  Matt threw the keys to Nate and went to his mother. Lily scrambled into the Land Rover and shut the door. The twins got in behind her and Nate climbed into the driving seat, but he didn’t start the engine.

  “Will he be all right?” Lily stared at her fingers, helpless to know how to help him, and it was tearing her apart.

  Nate sighed heavily, resting back against the headrest. “I don’t know. It’s about time they knew what they’ve put him through.”

  “They didn’t realise? How couldn’t they know?”

  “It was unspoken. No one acknowledged anything was wrong,” Josh answered her.

  “They kidded themselves that he thought it was just an argument,” Jake added. “He’d end up at ours, or Nate’s, when it got too bad.”

  She chanced a sideways look and saw June closing the door behind her. Matt got into the back and Nate drove away.

  “What did she say?” Jake asked Matt.

  “Neither of them are happy about it. Mum worries for me; Dad worries about his career.”