Deceptive Secrets

by RM Walker

  Coldness crept into Lily’s stomach. The odds against them were stacking up.

  “What will happen?” Josh asked. “When they realise we’re serious about this?”

  “Mum seems to think it’s a phase. She thinks it will burn itself out,” Matt replied.

  “All of us? Or you and Lil?” Jake asked.

  “Me and Lil,” Matt muttered. “She’s wrong.”

  Nate cleared his throat. “Here’s what we’re going to do: we keep our heads down, we keep going quietly, and eventually they’ll realise it’s not just a phase. Y’know, like when something hangs around until eventually it’s permanent and you don’t even realise.”

  “What the hell, Nate?” Josh demanded. “What have you been sniffing?”

  “Shut up. Lily knows what I mean, don’t you, Lil?”

  “Actually, I do. Mum had a yucky toenail once, she kept saying she’d get it done, but she left it for so long all the toenails on that foot went funny. She didn’t even realise it had happened until it was too late.”

  “Are you comparing our relationship to toenail fungus?” Matt asked, a tinge of humour shaded his voice.

  “I was thinking more along the lines of a cat that keeps coming around until eventually it’s part of the family and no one really notices it happening,” Nate drawled.

  “Same thing.” Lily shrugged. “Stray cats, toenail fungus, both creep up and cling on.”

  “So, you’re suggesting we fester together slowly and quietly, and by the time they realise it, we’ll be a stray cat with claw fungus that’s part of the family?” Jake asked.

  “Pretty much.” Lily turned in her seat to look back at Matt. “But it’s up to you. They’re your parents.”

  “Yeah, they are. But you lot are my family,” Matt replied. “I’m not giving any of you up to keep his conscience clear.”

  “Will you fester quietly with us? With me?” she asked.

  “I wouldn’t want to fester anywhere else.” There was hurt in his eyes, an edge of betrayal, but there was also a spark of happiness. The odds were stacking up, but they weren’t going to back down. If they couldn’t get over them, they’d go around them.

  “It's not wrong, just different.”

  Lily sat on Nate’s bed, watching him find some sleepwear for Matt. They’d picked up her clothes before coming here. She’d been nervous at first, but his parents made her feel welcome and there’d been no mention of why they’d changed to staying at Nate’s.

  “Your dad doesn’t look like he was brought up in a commune,” she mused.

  “What did you expect? Tie-dyed clothing, long beard, and sandals?” Nate laughed as he threw a pair of shorts at Matt.

  “Yeah, I think I did,” she admitted, looking around his room.

  It was very Nate, with books everywhere. A telescope sat on the windowsill, a desk sat against the wall with a laptop on it. A bookcase stood beside the door, stuffed full of books, papers, and magazines. A TV was hooked up to a games console, and the twins sat cross-legged in front of it, going through his games.

  “He’s very easy-going,” Nate said, slumping beside her, leaning back on his elbows. “He’s on his annual leave now, but usually he’s...” He pulled a face, trying to get the right word.

  “Away with the hippy fairies?” Josh suggested.

  “Yeah,” Nate agreed.

  “He ignores you?” she asked.

  “No.” Nate smiled. “It’s not bad, it’s just he’s a genius. He works in Defence, that’s all I know. But when he’s working on a project he’s—”

  “Away with the scientist fairies,” Jake finished, making Nate laugh.

  “Distracted, I guess. He doesn’t forget us, just sometimes he’ll get an idea and disappear into work for days.” Nate lay back full length. “He’s always had my back when I need it.”

  A tap sounded on the door, and Adam stuck his head around, smiling. “Okay in here? Don’t make it too late.” He ducked back before anyone could reply and then came back again. “Mum and April have gone over to June’s.”

  “Is Mum alright?” Matt asked.

  “Yeah, I expect so. You know what they’re like, one gets upset and the rest are clucking around like mother hens.”

  “I upset her,” Matt blurted. “I told them Dad was a hypocrite for cheating on Mum. I don’t think they knew I know.”

  Adam came in and shut the door behind him. He was an older version of Nate, minus the glasses. His eyes were a faded blue, and his hair was short, and tidy compared to Nate’s longer, untidy style.

  “It was never openly acknowledged, and as such, it was pushed under the carpet. I expect some of it was to try to protect you and some of it was to protect your dad’s career. A scandal like that would destroy his career.” Adam leant back against the door.

  “Then he shouldn’t have cheated on Aunt June,” Nate pointed out.

  “You’ll get no argument from me there.” Adam looked back at Matt. “I’m not excusing him, but he’s right about the press; any scandal is political death for him. His career would be over, he’d lose his seat. But it wouldn’t just be his job. That manor may not have a mortgage on it, but he’ll still have bills, expenses, running costs. I expect financially he’s worried too, And, despite what you think, he doesn’t want to see you get hurt. No parent wants that for their child.”

  “I’m not giving up on Lily.” Matt growled, folding his arms. “I don’t care how many people think it’s wrong.”

  “I’m not telling you to give up, this relationship you have is different, but it’s not wrong. You’re eighteen soon, it’s your life to lead, your choices to make, but sometimes you can’t win no matter what you do, you just need to figure out which is the better loss.” Adam shrugged. “I can’t tell you what to do, Matt, but you know I’ll always listen if you need me to.”

  “Thanks, Uncle.”

  Adam smiled and rapped his palms against the door behind him. “Right. Not too late. Beauty sleep, and while Lily doesn’t need it, you, my boys, need all the help you can get.”

  “Gee, thanks, Dad, we can feel the love from here,” Nate drawled, grinning at him.

  Adam winked and went out, leaving the door open. “Make sure you boys are in the living room when Mum gets home. It’s my neck on the line.” He laughed as he went down the stairs.

  The sound of squealing tyres and loud music made Lily jump, but it was just the twins playing a racing car game.

  Josh looked over at her and lifted the controller. “You wanna play?”

  She wrinkled her nose and shook her head. “No, it’s fine.”

  “You want to watch a film instead?” Jake asked, not moving his eyes from the screen.

  “No, you carry on.” She watched Josh nudge Jake with his elbow, making Jake crash his car.

  “Cheater!” Jake exclaimed, nudging him back.

  She looked at Matt. He’d shut the door, his gaze was on the screen, but she could see he was miles away.

  “I’m sorry, Matt, I didn’t mean to cause problems for you,” she said.

  He dumped the clothes on Nate’s chair and sat beside her. “You haven’t. None of us have caused this. He cheated on Mum and that’s hanging over his head, maybe it wouldn’t worry him so much if he hadn’t done that.”

  Nate sat up, kissed her on the temple, then crossed to sit with the twins.

  Matt lay on the bed and pulled her beside him until her head was on his shoulder and his arm was around her waist.

  Lily waited to see if the others would complain, but all she heard was the twins bickering over who was the better driver and Nate telling them they were both cheaters. She slid her hand over his shirt, to rest over his heart.

  “I don’t want to make your life hard, Matt.”

  “You aren’t. It’s perfectly simple to me. You stay with all of us. We stay with you and we all fester quietly.”

  She chuckled and snuggled into him. “We’ll make it work. I want to make this work.”

  �
�So do we,” he said. “Although, I would love to see the twins try to become priests. They wouldn’t last a week before they were kicked out and told not to come back.”

  She laughed, closing her eyes as he trailed his fingers up and down her arm. She didn’t know what lay ahead of them. But if the five of them were together they would cope with whatever they had to face.

  “YOU IN THERE, LILY Flower?”

  She pulled the toothbrush from her mouth. “Nearly finished.” She dribbled minty toothpaste down her chin and spat into the sink.

  “Can I come in?” Matt asked.

  She opened the bathroom door as she carried on brushing her teeth.

  “Are you sure you’re going to be all right up here?” His hands were behind his back as he stopped just inside the doorway.

  She spat again and rinsed her mouth out before turning to him. “I’ll be fine, thanks.”

  “I haven’t had a chance to give you this.” He brought a gold wrapped parcel from behind his back. “Happy birthday.”

  She smiled at him, drying her hands before taking it from him. “You didn’t need to—”

  “I don’t know if you’ll like it,” he broke in. “I mean, I can change it if you don’t.”

  Her fingers stilled on the tape holding it together. “Matt, of course, I like it, I love it.”

  “You haven’t seen it yet.”

  “I don’t need to see it.” She closed the gap between them, and going on tiptoes, she brushed her lips against his. “It’s from you; I love you, therefore, I love this.”

  He caught her round the waist before she could step back and drew her into him tightly, his kisses possessive. She clutched his shoulder with one hand, the present crushed between them with the other.

  He pecked her lips and stepped back. “I don’t know if you’ll like it, I can change it. For another colour, or even something else.” He took the wrapping from her as she opened out the tissue paper to reveal a knitted hat and gloves in the same green as the scarf Nate had given her.

  “I love them. This is my favourite colour.” She hugged him.

  “Are you sure? I can get you a necklace or a bracelet if you’d prefer, or the money instead.”

  “Matt.” She held his gaze. “I love them. I don’t want anything else, just these.” She put the hat on and looked at him. “How does it look?”

  “Real cute,” he replied, and bending, he kissed the tip of her nose.

  “It matches my scarf.” She put the gloves on and admired them.

  “We bought them at the same time. Nate said you’d like it, but I wasn’t so sure. It’s not very expensive.”

  “Hush, presents aren’t about money.”

  “They used to be with Connie,” Josh said coming towards them, a towel and toothbrush in his hand. “She’d turn her nose up if it cost less than fifty quid.”

  “Connie is a fool. But I can thank her for one thing.” Lily pulled the gloves off.

  “What?” Matt frowned at her.

  “She left you, leaving you free for me.”

  The frown disappeared, replaced with a wide grin. His eyes sparkled with a happiness that had been missing since his parents’ betrayal.

  “He’d have chucked her for you anyway.” Josh tugged her braid. “Finished in here?”

  Jake came bounding over with his things in his arms. “Aunt May’s coming down the path. Lil, into the bedroom quick—nice hat.” He kissed her cheek, pushed Josh into the bathroom and followed him. “C’mon, desperate for a piss.”

  Matt laughed, kissed her again and headed for the stairs. “See you in the morning, Lily Flower.”

  “Goodnight,” she called and went into Nate’s room. She shut the door behind her and pulled the hat from her head. On the bedside table there were three blue candles, the flames burning an unnatural blue. He must have done it while she was in the bathroom. She picked up the note propped against them.

  Lily May.

  You can leave these burning all night. They’re safe to do that.

  (rip this up after you read it)

  Love you,

  Nate.

  She smiled as she sank onto the bed, holding the note to her chest.

  “THANKS.” LILY TOOK the mug May held out to her.

  “Did you sleep okay?” May asked. “I told Nate to change the sheets, but I don’t think he did.”

  “It was fine. I slept well, thanks.” She looked at where the boys were in the living room, going over some last-minute homework they’d neglected.

  “All these years with Adam has given me a unique way of looking at things that my sisters don’t have. Steve and April will be happy if the twins are happy. June will be a harder nut to crack. She’s lost her belief in love; but the way to win her over, to win us all over, is to look out for those boys. All I ask is for you to be careful with them, all of them. They’re not as invincible as they think they are. And my Ignatius, well, he’s like his father, not nearly as confident as he likes to look. You have the power to break him. Please don’t.”

  “I promise I will never deliberately hurt him, any of them.”

  May looked over at where Josh was arm wrestling Matt, and Nate had taken on Jake. “It’s just been the four of them for so long.”

  “I can’t choose one over the other, they mean too much to me. If I try to imagine being without them, it’s very bleak. I’d survive, but my life would never be the same. I’d never be the same.” Lily held May’s gaze when she looked back at her.

  “You remind me of my grandmother, Hazel. She had the same air about her that you do.”

  “Air?” Lily frowned, not sure what to make of that.

  “She had a way with her.” May began washing the dishes. “She was a case. She doted on us as children though. She told my mother that when we were born the sky was full of shooting stars. We were born in the afternoon.” She laughed, shaking her head. “She had her wacky ways. When we were christened, she refused to step foot in the church, but waited outside. She and mother never saw eye to eye. Mother took after her dad, he was an exacting man with no time for any nonsense.”

  “Nonsense?” Lily picked up a towel and began drying the dishes.

  “Jiggery-pokery, he called it.” She chuckled. “Gran was a bit of a dreamer, given to flights of fancy. I see it in Matt more than the others, full of fancy ideas and strange ways.”

  “What would she do?”

  “She was from a different generation. Very superstitious, kept iron horseshoes in every room, salt around the windows, crystals, and stones everywhere. Rosemary and other herbs were always planted in a certain order and in certain places. She’d make her own medicine, knew every plant you could and couldn’t eat. We used to eat some odd food when we stayed with her after Grandad died.”

  “How do I remind you of her?” Lily held her breath, placing a dry mug on the table.

  “She may have been a dreamer, but if something was worth fighting for, you didn’t stand in her way. I see both in you. She would have liked you. Adam and I like you. Just be careful with them, they’ve never fallen for someone like they’ve fallen for you.”

  “Lily! C’mon, we’ll be late.” Nate came in with her coat and helped her put it on. He turned her to face him and began to zip it up.

  “Nate, I can do it myself,” she said as he brought the zip up to her chin.

  “I know.” He pulled the hood up and brought it together under her chin so only her face was showing. He leant forward and kissed her gently before stepping back.

  She grinned at him, his smile brightened, and his gaze dropped to her dimples.

  “There they are,” he whispered. He kissed her cheek and then stepped away from her to look at his mum. We’re off now. See you later.” He grabbed Lily’s hand and pulled her from the room.

  She called a goodbye to May as Nate bustled her out of the cottage and down to the Land Rover. She climbed into the front seat as Nate got into the back with the twins.

  “What did she say
?” Nate asked, leaning forward.

  “Get your belt on, Nate,” Matt ordered as he pulled away.

  “No, she didn’t say that.” Lily grinned.

  Matt sent her a sideways eye roll. “Smart arse.”

  She grinned at him. “She said she has a unique way of looking at things thanks to your dad, Nate. She loves you all and doesn’t want me to hurt you.”

  “She’s always been the more accepting one,” Josh observed. “She’s also the bossier one, that’s where Nate gets it from.”

  “Did you really need to add that?” Nate shook his head.

  “Do you think she knows what you are?” Lily turned in her seat to look back at them.

  “No. Why? Did she say something?” Nate asked.

  “She said I remind her of her grandmother. Said you do too, Matt.”

  “Hazel?” Matt asked.

  “Yeah. I think she may’ve been a hedge witch.”

  “Yeah, she was,” Jake said. “We wish we could have met her. It would have been a lot easier having someone in the family who knew magic.”

  “We found out in the Aperio,” Josh added.

  “What else would that tell me?” she asked. “Would it tell me what Drew told me?”

  “It’ll give you details, but it won’t show you emotions or why things happened,” Matt said.

  “I still have things I want to know,” she said.

  “We can be with you,” Nate suggested. “When you talk to him.”

  “You don’t trust him,” she pointed out.

  “No.” Matt looked at her quickly before looking back at the road. “He said he was stopped by the Council, and now we know that’s a lie.”

  Josh put his hand on her shoulder. “You didn’t want to hear that, we know. But you’re going to have to face it.”

  She remained quiet, but she didn’t think it was as clear cut as they thought.

  Or was desperation making her clutch at straws?

  Families

  A ‘Happy Eighteenth’ banner was strung above the bar, and a few helium balloons were bouncing near the ceiling. April, June, and May were sitting at a table, Steve and Adam were leaning against the bar, but there was no sign of Harold. There were quite a few people she didn’t recognise, and some villagers who she did recognise.