Deceptive Secrets

by RM Walker

  “Do you regret it?” Jake asked.

  Nate held his breath. She could finish him with one word. She could finish them all.

  “No. I don’t regret it. I never will. I love you guys, more than life.”

  Her words were so quiet he wasn’t sure he’d heard right. But the rush of relief that sank over him from the others told him all he needed to know.

  “Lily, baby, we fucking adore you,” Josh announced.

  Matt stood up, kissed her, and sat back down. “You are never getting rid of me, Lily Flower,” he said, grinning at her.

  “Or me,” Nate insisted. “Nothing can come between any of us.”

  She beamed around at them; the happiness in her eyes made his heart beat double time. Things had happened quickly, his feelings for her had grown without him even realising it. But he was hers now and always would be.

  “Nate, you’ve broken your glasses,” she exclaimed.

  “What?” He looked down at the snapped arm. “Well, that’s bloody great. How the hell did I do that?”

  “Let me see.” Lily took them from him.

  “I don’t even have my contacts with me,” he grumbled. How the hell had he done that? He’d only cleaned them, same as he had done a hundred times before, and they’d never snapped.

  “Super glue should do till we get back home,” Josh suggested. “They’ll have some in the shop here.”

  “Or we could nip into the opticians in Bodmin and see what they say,” Matt offered.

  “It’s a complete break. I’ll need new frames. I’ll get super glue for now.”

  Lily handed them to him with no sign of a break. He opened and shut the arm, but it was as if it’d never happened.

  “You fixed them.” He looked at her in awe. “Fuck me, Lily May, you fixed them.”

  She was looking as shocked as he was.

  He kissed her gently on the lips. “Thanks, sweetheart. You are incredible.”

  “I don’t even know how I did it.” She laughed at herself.

  “You’re going to be handy.” Josh sent her a sly wink. “I think we’ll keep you.”

  “Lily.” Matt’s serious tone caught all their attention. “Do you know your limit?”

  “What do you mean? What limit?”

  “The limit of your abilities. Do you know what you can and can’t do?”

  “I don’t think I do. Okay, let’s be honest here. I have no idea and it does kind of scare me.”

  “Ours is limited, but we aren’t you. We can ask Jonas,” Matt said.

  “I’m going to ask Dad as well. I’m of such mixed blood that I want to know what I can do.”

  “Mixed blood?” Nate ignored the slither of worry at her choice of name for Drew. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to hearing her say it.

  “Yeah, his mum, my grandma is—” She covered her mouth, her eyes went wide.

  Damn, he could kick himself at how careless they were being. Talking about things so openly, he’d been an idiot.

  “Shit. Yeah. Hold that thought,” Jake muttered.

  “We’ve got a few hours to kill,” Josh said. “Shall we go back to the tent?”

  “Have you seen enough here?” Matt asked her.

  “I want some pictures of the outside, and of you lot in the stocks.”

  “You want to restrain us?” Jake nudged her. “Anytime, babe, anytime.”

  Nate snorted, they were flirting again, and she loved it judging by the giggle. They were so easy with her. They’d not said much about girls until they’d dropped the bombshell of finding one to share. He knew they fancied Lily, they’d made that clear right from the start. Shit, they’d have to be blind not to. As far as he knew, and he wasn’t going to ask, she hadn’t had sex with any of them. He’d gotten close with her a few times, but the time was never right. Would it be right now? While they were camping? And how would that even work with all of them in the same tent?

  “Nate! La la land will have to wait. Lily wants some pictures,” Matt called, and he realised they’d got up and were now waiting for him by the door. The twins were smirking at him, evil gits. He flipped them off, got to his feet, and sent Lily an exaggerated wink, making her laugh.

  He had to get his head in the game for a bit and stop wandering off in his mind. Things would happen when they happened. He loved her, and he wanted it to be perfect for them both, but especially her. If he had to wait till they’d left college and had their own place, then he’d wait. He wasn’t going anywhere, and neither was she.

  Don’t leave me!

  “I am never moving or eating again.” She collapsed onto the sleeping bag, her hands covering her stuffed stomach.

  “So, you don’t want breakfast tomorrow?” Matt called from the middle area where he was going through his bags.

  “No. I won’t need to eat till I’m fifty.” She closed her eyes, thinking about the amount of food she’d eaten.

  “Well, I wondered if you’d body swapped with the twins,” Nate called. “You ate almost as much as they did.”

  “We need all the extra energy to be able to deal with you, Nate.” Josh’s voice came from outside where they were checking the pegs were still secure.

  “I’m going to have to think about joining a gym.” Lily moaned, patting at her stomach which was feeling decidedly rounder than normal.

  Nate poked his head around the tent flap, pushing his glasses up his nose. “Don’t worry, we’re going on a ten-mile hike tomorrow, setting out at the crack of dawn and getting back about midnight.”

  “Are you? Well, I’ll miss you, but I hope you enjoy yourselves.”

  “Lazy toad.” Josh and Jake pushed past Nate and dropped onto the mattress, making her bounce.

  “Stop. I’ll be sick!”

  “Shouldn’t have stuffed that last profiterole down.” Nate came in and knelt beside her head. He stroked his hand over her forehead and through her hair.

  “It was cruel to make the twins argue over it. I was just being a loving girlfriend.”

  Matt came in and sank beside Nate. “All locked up for the night.”

  Jake moved and slid from the mattress onto the floor. “This is too small. Let’s go to our side, more room.”

  “I don’t think I can move,” Lily admitted.

  Nate laughed and got up. “Matt, get her feet.” He slid his hands under her shoulders as Matt grabbed her feet. She squealed as they picked her up and hauled her through to their side. They swung her, let her go, and she landed in the middle of the mattresses with a shriek.

  “If I throw up over your beds it’ll be your fault,” she moaned.

  “You won’t. You love food too much to let it go that easily.” Matt plopped next to her, full length.

  “Oi, move over.” Josh kicked at his feet and slumped by her thigh. Nate and Jake settled the other side of her, and she closed her eyes.

  “Where do you want to sleep tonight?” Nate asked.

  She wanted to be close to all of them tonight, she still hadn’t got used to the gentle hum that lay at the back of her mind. She knew it was them, knew they were happy as well. But she didn’t want to be on her own tonight, or ever again.

  “Can I stay here?” she asked, not opening her eyes. “With all of you?”

  In answer her shoes and socks were tugged off by the twins. She opened her eyes and came face to face with Matt.

  “We want you here too,” he whispered. “Sit up, sweetheart.” He kissed her gently and helped her up. Between him and Nate, they pulled her jumper off and threw it to the side, leaving her in her t-shirt.

  “Are your jeans comfy? Do you want us to get your shorts?” Jake asked her.

  “Can I use one of your shirts, please?” she asked.

  Matt rummaged around in his bag and drew out a long soft t-shirt. “We’ll go and change, okay?”

  “Which sleeping bag?” she asked, standing up.

  “We can open them all out,” Matt suggested. “Make them into blankets, rather than bags. We�
��ve got blankets here, and Nate keeps it warm enough anyway.”

  She helped re-arrange it, and then they disappeared to change. She stripped quickly, shrugging Matt’s shirt on before settling into the middle. She’d ask what they were doing tomorrow when they came back. If the ten-mile hike became reality, she’d be quite happy on her own reading. Just thinking of it was enough to have her yawning and her eyes closing.

  IT WAS NO GOOD, SHE wasn’t getting back to sleep, she had to go to the loo. There was nothing for it, but to crawl quietly to the end of the mattress and nip out to the facilities. She shrugged into her coat, stuffed her feet into her boots and quietly left the tent, zipping it behind her.

  It was much darker than she’d anticipated, especially after the tent, which was lit all night with a lamp set on low. After a few moments her eyes adjusted, and she could see the shower and toilet block by the main area. It was cold, and goosebumps rose on her legs. She picked up speed, the frigid air making the urgency even stronger.

  When she came out, Matt was leaning against the wall. “I didn’t mean to wake you, sorry,” she said.

  “You should. Not saying you’re helpless, but no point in putting yourself into danger if you don’t need to.” He took her hand, switched the torch on, and they headed to the tent.

  “It’s safe enough here though, right?”

  “Yeah, as safe as it can be without knowing who else is camping here.”

  “I forgot Jake’s Beast of Bodmin Moor.”

  He laughed. “It’s a local tale. People say they see a large black cat. The size of a panther.”

  “Aww, people are afraid of a kitty?”

  “Yeah, a very big kitty with sharp claws and fangs.”

  They stopped at the tent and he opened the flap, letting her in. The warmth hit her as she slid her coat off and put it down with her torch.

  “Are you cold?” he whispered, securing the tent shut.

  “Yeah, it’s freezing out there. At least it’s not raining.”

  “It’s supposed to start up again early morning.” He knelt in front of her, rubbing her calves.

  “You don’t have to do that,” she whispered.

  “It’d be easier if you lie down.” He looked up at her.

  She studied his face, stroking her hands through his hair. “We’ll wake the others, unless we go into my side.”

  He got up, pushed his hands into her hair and held her gaze. “Are you sure?”

  She knew what he was asking her, and she knew her answer.

  “Yes. I want to make love with you, Matt.”

  He briefly closed his eyes and then he was kissing her gently, soft presses of his lips on hers. She put her hands on his hips and tugged him closer. He caught her to him and walked them into her side.

  She lay on the mattress as he zipped the flap and secured it. Kneeling at her feet, he stroked his fingers up her shins and down her calves. Lifting herself onto her elbows, she looked down at him. He held her gaze as his hands smoothed up the back of her calves, hooked under her knees, and then stilled. His head tilted, asking permission to go further. She grinned at him and opened her legs a little, giving him her answer. Dropping a kiss onto her knee he drew her legs apart, crawling between them. His hands slid up her thighs and back down, making no move to touch her intimately. The anticipation and the sensations made her toes curl. Leaning over her, he kissed her, sliding his fingers up over her hips, and hooking into the sides of her panties. He slid them down her legs, and helped her to kick them off, before kneeling back between her legs.

  “Oh, shit.” He sat back on his heels, covering his face with his palms.

  “What’s up?” She sat up startled. “Are you okay?”

  “No. Yes. I can’t protect you. I didn’t bring anything because I didn’t want you to think I was pressuring you.” He lowered his hands. “Why are you smiling?”

  “Did you really think about it but decided to leave them behind?”

  “Yeah. We didn’t bring you away to fuck you. I don’t want you to think I’m only interested in getting laid. Now what’s so funny?”

  “Nothing, I’m not laughing, Matt. I love you so much.” She sat up, unable to wipe the smile from her face. “You thought of me.”

  “Well, of course, I thought of you.” He pulled a face at her in confusion.

  “And you have no idea why that means so much to me.” She leant forwards and kissed his lips. “Look in the inside pocket of my backpack.”

  He frowned, dragging the backpack onto the bed. He looked inside and went still when he found the box of condoms. He looked at her sideways. “Are you sure?”

  “Matt, I wouldn’t have brought them if I wasn’t sure. But if you’d rather—”

  She never got to finish what she was saying, because he was over her, kissing her so desperately her brain ceased all higher function.

  He settled between her spread legs and there was no doubting how much he wanted her. He nuzzled her neck, his hands holding her hips, and the sensations had her clawing at his back. She wanted to touch him, to feel his skin against hers. “Off, take it off,” she pleaded, tugging at his shirt.

  He sat up from her and dragged it over his head, throwing it to one side as she struggled to get hers off. He helped her and then his mouth was on her breastbone, his tongue moving into the hollow of her throat. She collapsed onto the mattress with a moan as his hands covered her breasts. Her hips lifted, grinded against him, and he grunted in her ear. It wasn’t enough, it would never be enough. She wanted all of him, needed all of him. Sliding her hands to his waist she pushed at the waistband of his boxers. He helped her push them down, then he was back on top of her, with nothing between them.

  She heard him swear as she cried out. He’d touched her before, brought her crashing over the edge of pleasure more than once, but this was different, this was almost overwhelming. This made her ache deep inside and only he could take it away.

  “I need to—” His voice was strained with effort as he sat back from her and grabbed the box. She heard a tearing sound and she sat up enough to watch as he covered himself. It kicked up her desire to an inferno.

  He leant on his forearm beside her. “Lily, you are so beautiful.” He kissed her, his tongue dancing with hers as his fingers trailed up the inside of her thigh.

  She moaned as his fingers teased and explored her, bringing the ache to an unbearable level. She wriggled under him, desperate for him to do something that would ease the ache.

  “Matt, please.” She wound her arms around his neck, her hands tight in his hair. “Please, Matt, I want to feel you inside me.”

  He lowered his head to her shoulder, his body shaking. “Trust me, Lil, just trust me,” he pleaded, his voice ragged with lust.

  “Always.” She bucked upwards as he increased the pressure of his touch. He was winding her higher and higher until she was exploding into a thousand pieces. He moved, lowering his hips, and she registered why he’d made her come first. He pushed his hips forwards slowly, his hands on her hips, his face buried in her neck. He was shaking, groaning as he sank inside her.

  This wasn’t like anything she’d ever experienced. She was stretched to the limit, almost beyond what she could bear. She moved, trying to ease the pinched feeling, and he swore in her ear.

  “Keep still, baby, please. Just...just...oh, fuck.” His voice was ragged, and it sent a bolt of lust through her. He was groaning as he held still, waiting for her to get used to him. She kissed his ear, a wave of love swept over her. He was hers now. She owned him, and she’d never let him go. She brought the soles of her feet up the outside of his legs, and he sank deeper into her, her name ripped from him in a groan. The shift was different for her too, it eased the pain as her muscles relaxed. She tentatively lifted her hips, and he hissed.

  “Shit. I am so fucking sorry.” He drew back from her till he was almost out of her.

  She grabbed at him, clawing at his shoulders. “Don’t. Don’t leave me.”

&n
bsp; “Never.” He thrust forwards and then drew back again. He repeated it twice and then went rigid. He jerked against her, gasping her name and expletives, before collapsing onto her, wrapping her in his arms.

  Satisfaction and pleasure rippled through her, she was familiar enough with him to know he’d come. He lifted up from her, and she tried to stop him.

  “I have to take it off,” he said, and drew out of her. She winced, not expecting the sting. He turned from her, and she fell back against the mattress, turning onto her side. He rustled around for a few seconds, before draping a blanket over them. He drew her into his arms, and she went willingly.

  “Lily, sweetheart. I’m sorry I hurt you.”

  “You didn’t hurt me.” She traced a finger over his abs and kissed his chest.

  “You’re so perfect I couldn’t last. I didn’t make you come.”

  “Yeah, you did.”

  “No, I mean when I was in you. I wanted you to come first.”

  “Next time. We can practise.” She lifted her head and kissed his chin, never wanting to move again.

  “That’s a good idea. We can add it to our ongoing experiment on getting each other off.”

  “Well, I’m game if you are.” She cuddled into him.

  “Shit, I love you.”

  “About last night.”

  Cold, wet drops landed on her face, and she groaned, turning over on the soaking wet mattress. She bolted upright. Several drips were coming through the tent roof from the rain that was pounding down.

  The murmur of voices came from the main area, and she reached for her shirt. Her thigh muscles complained and shivered in remembrance. She loved him, but this was a connection forged that strengthened her love. They were connected in every possible way, and it was something she craved with all of them.

  A drop of icy water landed on her head, bringing her back to the present. She dragged her damp shirt on and staggered into the main area.

  “Good afternoon.” Josh smirked at her.

  “It’s not, is it?” She looked around, not sure where her phone was.