Deceptive Secrets

by RM Walker

  “Not quite,” Jake said. “You have”—he looked at his watch—“ten minutes till it’s considered afternoon.”

  “Sorry,” she mumbled. “There’s a problem though.”

  “Have you wet yourself? Or are you sweating for England?” Nate asked, pushing his glasses up his nose as he squinted at her.

  “Well, that’s the problem. The tent is leaking, everything is soaked.”

  Nate looked at Matt. “Well, I guess that answers that one for us.”

  “What?” Lily came towards them, shivering as a gust of chilly air came through the open flap.

  Matt flicked the netting down, so they could still see out, but stopped the draft.

  Josh and Jake wrapped her up between them, then quickly let her go. “You’re all mushy. Get dried and dressed before you catch a cold.”

  “My clothes are all wet. I had them laid out for today.

  “Wear something of ours, and roll it up,” Jake suggested and went into their side to find something for her.

  “The campsite is flooding in places.” Nate came over and kissed her gently. “We were discussing whether we should pack up and go home. There’s not a lot we can do with weather this wet.”

  “But now it’s leaking your side, we should just give up,” Matt added. “It doesn’t look like it’s going to break any time soon.”

  “What were we going to do today?” she asked.

  “We were going to go to Golitha Falls, but in this we’ll be wading through mud.” Matt stepped away from the flap.

  “We’ve left some clothes on the bed in there for you.” Jake came back in.

  She kissed him and went in. She came out a few minutes later, rolling up the sleeves. She’d had to roll up the sweats too, but it was better than damp clothes. The twins swept her up between them, her face jammed against Jake’s chest.

  “You look fucking gorgeous in our clothes,” Josh said, as they released her.

  “Thanks for bringing me here.” She looked at them and then the others, making sure they were all listening. “I’ve always wanted to see the Jamaica Inn. And you bought me a meal in there. It was incredible, and I’ll never forget it.”

  “You’re welcome,” Nate said, pushing up his glasses. “Thank you for fixing my glasses.”

  “That’s the other thing that’s incredible,” she said.

  “What? Nate’s glasses?” Jake looked at Nate sideways. “’Cause there’s nothing else incredible about Nate.”

  Nate flipped him off. “Ignore the peanut gallery, Lil.”

  She found her hairbrush and tried to restore some semblance of normality to the tangled mess on her head. “I mean, when we bonded.”

  “Oh, yeah, that was incredible,” Josh said. “It was a shame we couldn’t have done it under the moonlight at the pool.”

  “Yeah, but that was before we knew what would happen,” Jake reminded him. “We’d have frightened the wildlife if we’d done it there.”

  Lily yawned behind her hand and they stared at her.

  “It’s midday. How on earth are you still tired?” Nate asked in disbelief.

  “I think I was born tired.” She went over to where they’d stashed the food they’d brought with them and settled down to make sandwiches. “Do you want some sandwiches?”

  “Yes, please.” The twins’ response was instant and in sync.

  “Yeah, if you don’t mind,” Nate said, going into their sleeping area with the twins.

  Matt crouched beside her. “About last night.”

  It hadn’t occurred to her he might regret it, but his eyes gave nothing away. Whatever his response she had to be honest with herself. “I don’t regret it, Matt. I never will.”

  She saw the spark of relief flash across his face, and she tugged him to sit. She crawled onto his lap, cupping his cheeks with her palms. “Do you?”

  “Never.” His words were adamant and the kiss he gave her firm.

  She wound her arms around his neck and buried her face into his neck as he held her close, rocking her.

  “You blew my mind. I mean, you’ve gotten me off before, but being inside you? Shit, Lily. It was different, somehow.”

  “Better?”

  “No, not better, well, not... You get me off and I’m dying, but inside you? I can’t explain it.”

  “It’s a connection, or at least it is for me.

  “Yeah, connection is a good word. Even before I got off, I felt it. It’s gonna sound stupid ’cause I was inside you, but it felt like you were inside me. You were everywhere, in my blood, in my mind, my veins, everywhere. I always felt kinda hollow after with...yeah. But you got inside me and I’m never letting you leave. I guess you complete me? Bugger, I sound like a girl now.”

  Lily kissed his neck, unable to talk past the lump in her throat. He pulled back, reaching to wipe away a few tears that escaped.

  “I hope these are coming from the happy tears well?”

  She giggled, nodding and wiping away a few more that came out. “I love you so much, Matt.”

  “Good. Right, enough with the girl talk, yeah?”

  She got off his lap and he stood up. “I am a girl,” she reminded him, grinning.

  “Yeah. Although, if you were a boy, I’d turn gay to keep you.”

  “Who’s gay?” Jake came out with a roll of sleeping bags in his arms.

  “Nate is.” Josh followed with blankets. “We’re going to start packing up.”

  “Reckon Merlin’s still got his wand?” Lily mused, bringing out the packet of bread and cheese slices they’d bought in the campsite shop.

  “What? Merlin didn’t have a wand.” Matt sounded confused.

  “Sure, he did. When all the dishes needed washing, and putting away, he used his wand. We could do the same if we could borrow his wand. Get all the clothes and stuff to pack themselves away. Instead of Rubity, Scrubity, we could have Packity, Tentity.”

  “Lilith.” Nate’s voice echoed from the other room. “Merlin did not have a wand, he didn’t have a pointy hat, wear blue robes, or sing fucking songs.”

  “Met him, have we?” she called, smirking at Matt who was shaking his head, a huge grin on his face.

  Nate grumbled, but she didn’t hear what he said. “What was that, darling? I didn’t quite catch what you said.”

  “I said.” He came to the flap and pointed at her. “That if Merlin was like that in real life, then you are most definitely the Mad Madam Mim.”

  “You forgot Marvellous,” she said smiled sweetly at him. “I’m the Marvellous Mad Madam Mim.”

  He sped towards her, gripped her cheeks, and narrowed his eyes. “You just love to wind me up, don’t you?”

  “I just love to wind you up,” she agreed.

  He kissed her thoroughly. Her hands hovered by his head before she melted into him and sank them into his hair.

  She dimly heard the tent flap being unzipped, and something about getting the car, but it was vague amongst the feelings Nate gave her when he kissed her like this.

  And this was why she loved to wind him up.

  Leaving

  Thursday morning was cold, the sky a foreboding steel grey. Thick fog crept through the trees, its fingers creeping up the edges of the lawn outside the kitchen window.

  They’d arrived back to Lily’s late Wednesday night. They’d tried to leave packing the tent to the last minute, hoping the rain would stop. But there had been no end in sight and they’d taken it apart in the pouring rain. They’d arrived home soaking wet, muddy, and exhausted. They’d dumped the tent in the back garden and then ordered in take-away, taking it in turns to shower while they waited. Lily had taken their sleeping bags and blankets, which were still dry, and arranged a nest on the living room floor. They stayed there huddled in front of the fire-place, talking for hours until falling asleep.

  Lily checked the time before looking back out at the questing fog. A few more minutes and Drew would be expecting her. They were leaving for Wells and she was regrettin
g it already. The logical side of her knew it was only for a couple of days, but the emotional side of her felt like it was an eternity until she’d be with her boys again. Her throat ached with unshed tears, her stomach cramping.

  Josh slid his hands around her waist and she melted back against him.

  “Going to miss you, baby.” He held her tightly, rocking her from side to side.

  Unable to speak she nodded. The rocking freed her tears and they slid down her face, dropping onto his hands.

  “Sweetheart. Don’t cry.” He turned her, and she went into his arms, burying her face in his shoulder. He brought her backward from the sink, and Jake slid behind, wrapping around her as well.

  “You’ll be back soon,” Jake said into her ear.

  “I know. It’s just... I don’t think there’s been a day since we first met when I haven’t seen you, or least one of you.”

  “When you come back we’ll be together,” Josh said.

  “And none of us will go away without the others again,” Nate said, coming in with Matt behind him.

  The twins moved away, and she grabbed a tissue, blowing her nose.

  “We’ll save you the best seats in the Bootlegger, Saturday,” Josh said.

  “Which is, of course, our laps,” Jake added, trying to make her laugh.

  A knock sounded at the front door, and her shoulders slumped.

  “Thought you were going over there. Eager bastard.” Nate stepped forwards. “Josh, Jake, go and open the door but try not to let him in.”

  “Jawohl.” They saluted him and left the kitchen.

  “I’m snotty,” she protested, as Matt and Nate tugged her between them.

  “Don’t care,” Matt muttered. “Be careful with him, yeah? He loves you, we can see that, but that may not be his only motivation.”

  “Can’t you hang on!” Nate snapped as Drew came into the kitchen.

  “And a good morning to you too, Nate.”

  “Hey, I’m nearly ready.” She wiped at her face, moving away from them.

  “The twins are carrying your bags to my car. Any more bags to go? Or is it just the two red ones?”

  “No, that’s it.”

  “She has to be back Saturday afternoon at the latest,” Nate insisted.

  “Will she turn into a pumpkin after then if I don’t?” Drew arched an eyebrow at him.

  “No, but your face will turn into a bloody pulp,” Matt snapped.

  “Hey, come on, please. Don’t argue with each other now,” Lily begged,

  “She’ll be back for the birthday party.” Drew looked at her. “Let’s hit the road, before the traffic builds up. I have a bit of surprise for you as well.”

  “What?” Nate asked suspiciously.

  “If I say it now, it won’t be a surprise, will it?” Drew spoke as if they were slow.

  “Please, don’t fight,” she pleaded.

  “We’re not, are we, Nate?” Drew clapped Nate on the back and left the kitchen. “Come on, Lily, I really don’t want to get stuck in traffic on the M5.”

  Lily picked up her shoulder bag and followed him out. The creeping fog from the forest was winding through the village, and she didn’t like it. It was foreboding, ominous, giving her the urge to run from it. Instead, she locked up and put her key into her bag.

  “I hate this fog, it’s creepy. I don’t like it.” It didn’t help that walking to the car felt like she was walking to her execution.

  “It’s just a sea fog. Live here long enough and you get used to it,” Nate said.

  The arrived at the car and Nate took her bag as the twins kissed her, whispering they loved her. She tried hard to hold back the ugly crying that was threatening. But when Matt and Nate surrounded her as well, it was a lost cause.

  “For goodness sake, Lily, it’s two days, not twenty years.”

  Nate pulled away snarling, and Matt caught his arm as Lily caught his hand. “It’s okay, Nate, just leave it,” she said.

  “Look, I get it’s emotional, first love and all that, but I really don’t want to sit on the M5 for hours.” Drew opened her passenger door. “You’ve heard the saying absence makes the heart grow fonder. You can’t find out if it’s true if you don’t let her go.”

  “Jesus Christ, could you be any more of a git?” Josh snarled.

  “Probably.” Drew shrugged. “Sorry, I’m being insensitive. It’s just I’ve been caught in traffic on that stretch before and I don’t want to do it again any time soon.”

  “Yeah, okay.” Lily hugged them again and then got into the car, winding down the window.

  “Call us when you get there,” Nate shouted as Drew pulled out of the car park.

  She waved at them until she couldn't see them anymore and then she put the window up and sniffed.

  “There’s more tissues in the glovebox.”

  “You think I’m silly.” She took out some tissues.

  “No. Not silly, a little dramatic. Oh, what the—” He snarled low in his throat.

  “What? What’s wrong?”

  “Please tell me that isn’t what I think it is on your palms.”

  “My palms?” The scars were red and angry looking. She touched one of them gently with her fingertip, but there was no pain. “They didn’t look like that before.”

  “When did you blood bond?” His voice was tight.

  “Monday night.” She blew her nose noisily.

  “Monday? Night? Evening?”

  “Technically it was Tuesday, as it was about two in the morning.”

  “Hallows’ Eve. Samhain. Under a blood moon. You performed a bonding spell with four idio—boys, who you don’t know from Adam, on the strongest magical night of the year?” He slapped his hand on the steering wheel. “Well, at least I know my daughter’s not a drama queen. You aren’t being dramatic, Lily, you’re being separated from the other half of your soul. You stupid girl.” His sarcasm turned to anger.

  “I am not stupid!” She turned in her seat towards him. “And it’s none of your business what I do.”

  “We are not going down that path now. Prove to me you’re not stupid; explain exactly what you’ve done.”

  “We bonded. They cut their palms—”

  “I know how it’s done,” he snapped. “What does it mean?”

  “Our magic bonded.”

  “And?”

  “And it means we’ll always be connected. They’ll know if I’m hurting, or upset, and I’ll know if they’re upset.”

  “And?” He shook his head, not looking away from the road.

  “That we won’t be able to be apart.” She folded her arms. “It’s my life. I’ll do with it what I want, Drew.”

  “Oh, we’re back to Drew now as well.” He blew out his breath and pulled up at a red light. “Yes, it’s your life, but you should’ve made sure you were fully informed before you threw away the seventy odd years you have left.”

  “I’m not throwing my life away.”

  “You are if it’s not real love. What did I tell you about love? True love?”

  “It can’t be fooled by magic, you can’t make someone fall in love.”

  “If it isn’t in their hearts.” The light went to green, and he drove on. “So, if this turns out to be a healthy dose of teenage lust and hormones, by the time you’re twenty and see it for what it is, it’ll be too late. You’ve chained yourself to them, and them to you.”

  “I do love them.”

  “I know you think you do. I know you truly believe it. They believe they love you too. But only time will tell, Lily.”

  “Isn’t that true of all relationships though? That’s not dependent on the age, some older people get married and end up divorced.”

  “Yeah, but that’s a legal piece of paper that can be torn up, two wedding rings to be pawned, a record collection to be argued over. If they decide to leave you, a divorce court couldn’t grant you a decree nisi and you all go your own merry way. You’re not married to them, you’re blood bonded with the
m.”

  “I think—”

  “Hold on, I haven’t got to the good part yet. No matter how much those boys hate you, and you hate them, you won’t be able to leave them. If you meet someone else one day and fall in love for real, too bad. Even if you’re lucky enough to find a witch who decides to stick around anyway, you’ll still never be happy.”

  “I won’t hate them.”

  “Hang on, it gets better. Your magic is now superglued together. If something happened to one of you, the rest would fade. A part of your souls would die. You’d carry on living, but you’d never be the same. And because your soul is glued to four others, you’d die a little every time you lost one of them. When the last one dies, so will you.”

  “I don’t think they know that,” she said. “I don’t think they know they’d die. I should tell them, is there a way to break it?”

  “So, they don’t die? Fuck them, Lily, they’ve forced you into this. I only care about you, I don’t want you to die.”

  “They haven’t forced me into anything,” she exclaimed. “I know you think I’m just a silly, stupid, seventeen-year-old, who doesn’t know her own mind, but you’re wrong.”

  “Eighteen, Lily, you’re eighteen.”

  “So what?” she snapped. “I love them with every fibre I have. They are the one constant for me. The only ones I could rely on, that had my back.”

  “That sounds like a strong friendship, not a romance,” he argued. “Love is bigger than you are, it goes deeper than you can imagine. True love isn’t in a heartbeat, or in a second glance. It’s not instant, it takes time to shape. Love at first sight is nothing more than a surge of sexual feelings that overcome someone. True love can’t be defined and isn’t bound by the laws of human nature. True love is the purest form of love, but romantic love needs sexual attraction to stay alive.”

  “You fell for Sarah quickly.”

  “I fell in lust instantly. She was gorgeous, five minutes after talking to her and she could have led me anywhere by my hormones. But time spent together grew into true love. The type of love that’ll see you through the bad times. When they drive you up the wall with a bad habit, but you put up with it. It’s arguing with them over the colour of the wallpaper and then laughing about it. True love keeps people together long after lust fades, when certain parts don’t work like they used to. When you look at each other and see the other half of your soul underneath the wrinkles, age spots, grey hair, and arthritis riddled joints. It sees you through when they hurt you, and you forgive them because they didn’t mean it. And they do the same when you hurt them. No one is perfect, but true love is, and it lasts forever.” He fell silent, wiping his hand over his mouth.