Love

by Douglas R.

  Cinder readjusts his majestic pose, inundated with narcissism. "I'm not as weak as you think." He snarls. Then lets out a hand. "What's in the pocket."

  It's not a question. It's a demand. My heart is galloping and I'm happy he didn't bring out the Nanotop this time so he could get the stats. When he approaches the Kronite twists into my clothes once again and Cinder grits hard on his teeth, shooting me a laser glare.

  "Get it if you can." I say and stroll right by him.

  As I near the door I hear him call out, "Artemis won't be happy about this!"

  I close my eyes and reach deep within.

  I don't care.

  23

  "Mylo, she's on the spore!" says Elia.

  The young boy jumps from the table, leaving his bananas and salad dinner and rushes over the red carpet imprinted with a picture of his sister. He scurries over the image of her face as he peals into the next room where Elia is waiting for him with the spore in her hands. It glows in a gentle pulse, as if it had a tiny heart.

  The boy's caretaker pats on the couch beside her lap and Mylo leaps on. She passes the spore to him and his legs are already kicking the wind.

  "So excited!" says Elia.

  Mylo beams at the spore and practically shouts his sister's name. "MYLA! MYLA ARE YOU THERE!"

  There's laughter in the room. It's coming from Elia. And as Mylo presses his hear to the spore, he's sure he can hear his sister laughing out tears.

  "Can you hear me?" says Mylo.

  "Yes! Yes!" Myla croaks. "I can hear you. Loud and clear."

  "When are you coming back, Myla?" says Mylo. "Dad always talks about you but I never get to see you."

  "I wish I could see you too, Mylo. But I'm so busy every day."

  "Mom says you're a Lebra."

  "I am."

  "Does that make you important?"

  "Um... to you," Myla laughs.

  "You're always important to me. I want to see you, Myla!"

  "Easy there," says Elia, rubbing the boy's shoulders.

  "One day I'll make it happen."

  "Really?"

  "Yes."

  "Promise me I'll see you. Before the bad things start to happen."

  Elia fazes into a worried look as she slowly turns to Mylo. She can sense Myla's speechless expression, hanging in the void of shock.

  "I heard Elia and mom talking last night."

  "That's enough little guy. Time for your shower," says Elia.

  "Wait!" Myla snaps. "Mylo... I'm okay, alright? We're all going to be fine. Cinder is making sure we're protected."

  "Are you sure, Myla?"

  "Time for a bath, Mylo. Say goodbye to your sister—"

  "Please! Give us some time," Myla shrivels through the room. "Don't make him go."

  "Myla, I think we should get back later," says Elia.

  "How are you sure?" Mylo pushes.

  "Because Cinder is good and responsible."

  "But mom says you don't like Cinder—"

  Elia scoops the boy in her arms and marches to the bathroom as Myla's last shaken breaths glow in the spore as it rolls on the couch.

  24

  "How does Mylo know about this?"

  "I'm sorry, Myla. Your little brother is a skilled eavesdropper," says dad.

  "Well, obviously. He has a sister he's never met before, I'd expect him to try to find out as much about me as he can."

  "Don't worry about, Mylo. He'll be okay."

  "They won't make him listen to those binaural beats?"

  "The ones for memory loss? No way," says dad. "The Elders do not interfere with Mylo's life. Elia will take care of everything there. And she's on our side."

  "Thanks, dad. But I think they've already interfered with his life a great deal."

  I hear my dad sigh and it makes me clutch my stomach. I was excited to talk to him on the spore for the first time and when Mylo came in it was like stars in the sea. Now my concern for him has got the best of me.

  "How are you doing?"

  "Fine..."

  "Doesn't sound very fine." My dad can read me like a Nanotop. I'm happy he's used the skill to change the subject.

  "It sucks. What can I say? This isn't what I wanted."

  "This is never what anyone wants."

  "And why does it have to be me?"

  "Well, think about it this way. If it wasn't you, what if it was Mylo? Hmm?"

  I take a breath. "That does sound like it's a little worth it. I'm glad Mylo doesn't have to deal with the prospect of being—"

  "Don't say it, Myla. Don't dare what you don't want, remember?"

  "I know. But it's coming and Phoebe knows I'm not ready. Rhiannon knows it too. But he just feeds me lies of how good I am and how safe I'll be."

  "Same thing you told Mylo... Listen. There's nothing wrong about lying to someone so they feel better, safer and happier."

  "But it's not true. We can say all what we want but the truth is that it's not there. The opposite is happening."

  "You're wrong. It's never about what's happening. It all comes down to the present moment... what are you feeling now?"

  "What?"

  "Don't look too far, the stars are only visible at night."

  25

  Baby, when they see us in the sky

  We'll be crashing through the night

  They'll be freaking out 'cause we're so bright

  Yeah, we're so beautiful

  We're so freaking beautiful

  Like an X-mark of shooting stars

  Come up in my head

  Explode, like fireworks!

  I think it's the art of anticipation. When it starts the beats are quietly chasing each other like atoms around a molecule. And as you wait for the big clash, they come out of the muffle and into focus. They're no longer oscillating between my ears. One soft pounding claims the left ear bud, another louder one in the right. They start competing for my attention, each getting louder like I have to choose one to love.

  Music is the best escape I have. I can't leave Pandor and I know I'll be in trouble for sneaking out and possibly for my insubordination to Cinder but like I said, knowing what's waiting for me in the sky and with the horror of what could happen to me, that's the least of my problems. And if Artemis can see what matters in the dark, he'll know better than to bother a girl like me for getting some fresh air.

  The lights are out in my bedroom and I'm a starfish on my bed. I lazily watch the Lunabees swirling out the window as the music plays.

  It's beating in my heart

  I'm freaking out

  Baby, I'm freaking out

  So loud

  Yeah, we're so beautiful

  We're so freaking beautiful

  Like double rainbows in your eyes

  When you look at me

  Just wanna explode, like fireworks!

  It feels like I'm climbing a mountain. In a way that doesn't make you tired. You feel you're going higher and higher effortlessly.

  The sounds paint a picture in my mind of the boy I love. With double rainbows in his eyes that make me want to explode. Next time I see him, I'll look out for those double rainbows. You never know, I just might find them. And maybe he'll see an X-mark of shooting stars in my eyes. I think that will truly make us star-crossed lovers. Or... it may mean that I've blacked out just like in the cartoons in his iPod.

  I may not have told you 'cause ugh! You know the way my day goes at the Major Tower. Anyway, Pokemon, Kids Next Door and Scooby Doo have conquered my early mornings and they will conquer my night again. Especially that yellow charming fluff of lightning.

  Pikachu.

  I wish he didn't have to be caged in a tiny red and white ball. Even in good people there can sometimes be too much power. And I don't mind being powerless because I've learned that I can't do much to change that.

  I just don't like to be owned.

  I want to explode. To fill the air and sky and find my X-mark of shooting stars. I agree with Fergie on this.

/>   I want to be fireworks.

  26

  "You want to be fireworks?"

  "Uh-huh!"

  "Have you been listening to Fergie?"

  "Yes," I grin. I guess I just couldn't wait to tell Blake when he came around. We're lying in the meadow. Facing each other. He's flat. I'm supporting myself with my elbow, looking into his eyes and I can see from his expression he already knows what I'm looking for.

  "You won't find any double rainbows here. Sorry." He chuckles.

  I punch his arm and tell him to hold still.

  "What?"

  I cup my hand around his chin so he doesn't move. I look in deep. He's still as a statue, staring back at me, staring at him.

  "Why does the double rainbow in your eyes look like me?"

  Blake laughs. "Silly! It's your reflection!"

  "Like I wouldn't know." I keep staring at him and in my favor he doesn't move. He's good at being a rock. And I'm good at melting. Every other program is shutting down and there's some hot liquid seeping through my guts, daring me to take the lead and just do it.

  I don't get it. If we've kissed before why should I be so damn nervous about doing it again?

  I think he takes the cue that I'm biting my lip when his hand reaches for my face and I know my time is up. I crash on his lips.

  His hand moves up my neck. I get to his upper lip first—which I think is breaking the rules of kissing. Xena once told me the boy kisses the upper lip first.

  But this isn't Maths. And it doesn't have to be because we're syncing so well I don't think our lips know any rules. They're moving and communicating in a way only they can understand. As my body temperature soars I understand there is no way I can plan a kiss so natural. Like being so skilled at something on your first try.

  I squeeze my body into his pelvis. I can't help it. I want him to consume me. He wraps his arms around me and my ability to think suffers a sudden death. His warmth engulfs me. It's passion. Like I'm drunk or high or something.

  Whatever happens next is out of the control of my trained mind. Something else is taking over. Guiding me as we roll on the grass, as I suck his lips and as he nibbles mine back.

  The moment he shifts his weight off me I gasp at the stars... and the strobes of light swirling through the mountain peaks.

  I turn my head and catch his gaze, softly looking back at me.

  "You're beautiful. So freaking beautiful."

  I smile, "I thought quoting songs was my crime."

  "Well, if they lock you up in a cage for that, I'd like to be right beside you."

  I can't explain it. Not even to myself. As soon as I register those words they ignite a reaction that makes me jolt. My lips are on his faster than I can think about what I'm doing.

  I grip his clothes almost as much as I can bite this boy up and I don't stop until I'm breathless. I'm back on the ground again, gasping for air. Blake doesn't faze. He doesn't forget to breathe when we kiss. I'll just have to develop the skill with time, and with more dreams I guess.

  "The cage is not a good place," I say.

  "Even with me in it?"

  "That would be sweet. But then they'd put you in another cage because they don't want anyone to be with me. Like what they did with my family. My parents are in one cage. I'm in another. And my little brother, Mylo is in a cage far far away and I can't see where it is. At least you're here. No one can take you away from me."

  "Am I able to say the same?"

  I turn to Blake. His expression is genuine. "I am a Lebra. Right now it means I've got to prepare to fight against my enemies."

  "I could help."

  "Haha. Please don't. It's way too dangerous."

  "And what do your enemies want?"

  I sigh. This is the question I didn't want to answer. But I don't want to lie to him the way I did with Mylo.

  "Me."

  He jerks back. "Why?"

  I begin to tell him about Stretaka and the Great War. "... What's left of him is a mind. He's like a storm of dark clouds, cruising in space. Waiting to find me."

  "And when he does?"

  "You don't wanna hear it."

  He strokes my arm. His fingers slide between mine. "I think I do."

  I take a breath.

  Here it is.

  "Okay, what does a mind wandering in space want with a girl with powerful strengths?"

  Blake looks away for a clue. And then back. "I can't think of anything other than... it wants some revenge. Maybe to kill you because he was almost killed by a Lebra."

  "Worse," my gaze does not waver away. "He wants my body."

  27

  I freeze him. He is motionless.

  "Your body?"

  "He wants to destroy who I am and fill me up with who he is. This girl you see... she won't be Myla. She'll be Stretaka. And she'll be invincible. She'll have all my powers and his own. There will be no stopping her."

  "And that's why they hide you in a cage?"

  I purse my lips, "Yes. For my own good."

  I'm surprised to even admit that. There are films on my eyes but they quickly disappear. This world doesn't allow for tears. It's a happy place. Negativity isn't compatible here.

  "So what do we do?"

  "There's nothing we can do, Blake. Except... hope Stretaka never gets through the Shield. It's the only thing keeping him out there."

  I sigh. But them I'm filled with joy again. "Anyway," I get on my feet and pace back to where I sat down earlier when I was waiting on Blake. I pick up the camera and give it back to him. "I got your pictures!"

  "Awesome," he turns it over and I stop his finger before he can turn it on.

  "Not now. Wait till you wake up."

  He shrugs. "Deal. Thanks, Myla. Can't wait to wake up."

  I punch his arm, "Heck no! I want you to stay!"

  He laughs, "You better get to bed earlier then."

  "I do. You're the one who's always late to arrive."

  "Sorry. I DJ at a night club called Neon twice a week."

  "Hey! A date's a date. Even if you have to fall asleep to get here. You still gotta be on time."

  Blake laughs and sits back on elbows. "You know you're the sweetest girl I've met?"

  "I guess it's why they call her the girl of your dreams."

  "Yeah... that's you. You know, Matty and I have this comic we dig. It's not as popular like Spider-man or X-menbut—"

  "Spider-man! Like his mom's a spider?"

  "No silly. That's cartoon stuff. Comics are a little more realist...tic than cartoons... in a way I guess. Spider-man actually shoots webs out of his hands and he swings around buildings."

  "I wanna read the Spider-man comic!"

  "I'll bring them next time. Anyway, Matty and I love The Alita comic series. It's about some space girl in a ship and the crew is lost in space. They barely know who they are. They only know they have a mission to get to some planet, find some missing time machine that will take them home..."

  "Oh! So this Matty thinks I'm the space girl?"

  "He calls us, DJ and the Space Girl."

  "Sounds like a story."

  "'hope it has a good ending."

  The dark feeling of the future crawls back but it can't stand the light from the stars. It can't get close.

  "Like Scooby Doo."

  "Yeah. It always has good endings."

  "They always win the case."

  "I even got you a little Scooby Doo story book I used to read when I was a kid."

  "No way!"

  Blake gets up and walks behind a tree. He comes back with a little book and my heart is skipping foolishly. I've always heard of books but we don't use them at all in Pandor. It's history there.

  As soon as he comes back I'm already flipping pages and pointing at my favorite characters. "Daphne! Fred! Shaggy!"

  "Scooby and Velma."

  "I know all of them. They're my favorite gang! Thanks so much, baby!"

  "It's just a book."

  I whack his hand,
"Don't you ever say it's just a book. This is so much. It's an artifact. It's a treasure. It's a story."

  "Alright, alright. I just got one question. Which character you love the most?"

  I glance at the cover of the book. They're all standing in front of the Mystery Machine Van. "I love all of them. I like Velma because she's so smart and Daphne is hot like me," I grin and he sways into me playfully. "I like Shaggy the most. He's the funniest. And Scooby too. They're so carefree. Not the smallest concern for life."

  "We could live like that, you know?" Blake's eyes connect with mine. He holds them. "We could forget all our concerns and be like Shaggy and Scooby."

  "Forget all about Stretaka."

  "Carefree. Not the smallest concerns. You like that?"

  "I want that!"

  "You got that. Right here."

  He moves in to kiss me again. I close my eyes and there are no concerns. There is no fear about the future. There is only now. Only love. Only happy tears. Only a good story book and a good boy who knows damn well how to kiss a girl till her blood boils. It's a one piece puzzle. And who cares where that piece goes. It's none of my concerns.

  28

  "Can anyone tell us what prompted Katniss to volunteer in place of Primrose?"

  Mr. Avery scans the class and stops his gaze at the back. "I think Blackburn can tell us."

  A paper ball is tossed half way across the room, landing on Blake's head. He doesn't stir a bit.

  "Blake." Avery calls out again.

  Sherri rubs his arms, whispering, "Blake, wake up!"

  "Not that way," Matty grabs the water bottle on the side of Blake's desk and Sherri cups her mouth, already laughing as her brother uncaps the bottle and holds it over his head.

  "Rise and shine, Buddha!"

  The class bursts into laughter when Matty turns the bottle over, pouring the water. Blake launches out of his chair, shaking the water out of his hair and shrieking until he realizes he's in class.

  Sherri snorts. Avery crosses his arms.

  "Thanks, Mathew."

  "You!"

  Matty laughs. Blake snatches the bottle away. "That's not funny."