Promise of Redemption

by Ellie St. Clair

  “Christina!”

  The sound of Beatrice’s voice shattered the tension between Christina and Lord Northcliffe and, as Christina turned to face her friend, she sensed Lord Northcliffe’s presence vanish from beside her.

  “There you are! When I called upon you, your butler said you could be found here. What a delightful shop this is. I must confess I do not visit it nearly often enough. And that dress is altogether lovely!” Beatrice exclaimed, a smile wreathed on her face as she came toward Christina. Her smile wavered as she drew closer, however, apparently seeing Christina’s expression. “Are you quite all right, my dear? Who was it you were talking to? Is your husband here with you?”

  Christina clutched to Beatrice’s arm, feeling a bit weak at the knees as she drew in deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself.

  “Good heavens, whatever is the matter, Christina?” Beatrice asked again, sounding puzzled as the smile faded from her face. “Have you had some kind of shock?”

  Christina swallowed hard, closing her eyes and attempting to rein in her emotions. “I was accosted by that gentleman,” she said, becoming angry now as her fear passed, and she opened her eyes to look at Beatrice. “And no, Lord Ravenhall is not here. I did have a maid with me, but the poor thing looked ill as we began walking so I sent her home.”

  Lady Beatrice’s eyes widened. “You were accosted? By whom?”

  Christina opened her mouth to speak, only to close it again. Her husband had kept the information about Lord Northcliffe and Miss Churston to himself, with the exception of telling Lord Hudson, and it would not be right of her to speak to Lady Beatrice about it.

  “I — I am not sure,” she said, as the door to the bookshop opened again. “Someone who, I think, believed I might be free with my favors now that I am a married woman.”

  Beatrice gasped, her cheeks burning rosy red. “That is truly awful!” she exclaimed, grasping Christina’s hand. “You must return home at once. Did you bring a carriage?”

  Christina shook her head. “I walked.”

  “Come with me, we shall return you home,” Beatrice replied, gesturing to her maid to follow her as they left the bookshop. “It has been an age since we last spoke, Christina, and I so wanted to catch up with you, which is why I was seeking you out.”

  “I have missed speaking with you as well, Beatrice,” Christina replied as they walked out to the street. “You must come for afternoon tea tomorrow. I insist upon it. It has been too long since we have talked.”

  Beatrice smiled, seeming genuinely pleased with the thought. “That would be simply wonderful.”

  Feeling a good deal better now that she was out in the fresh air, Christina drew in a deep breath and settled her shoulders. “What has been keeping you occupied as of late? Have you any gentlemen to speak of yourself, Beatrice? I am sure there are many who are keen to court you.”

  Beatrice shook her head as they approached her carriage. “No, not yet. I believe my personality is a little too loud for many of the gentlemen who are looking for a bride. Mama is always telling me that I must calm myself down but as much as I try, there is very little I can do!”

  Christina smiled softly. “You will find someone very soon, I am sure,” she replied, glad that the memory of Lord Northcliffe was being chased away by Lady Beatrice’s conversation. “And you need not change who you are to find him either.”

  Just as she was about to climb into Beatrice’s carriage, she was interrupted by the sound of her name being called. Turning her head, she saw Lord Hudson waving at her from his curricle.

  “Lady Ravenhall!” he exclaimed as he brought his horses to a halt and stepped down from his seat. “How good to see you! I was just on my way to your home, to speak with that husband of yours.”

  “Lovely to see you as well, Lord Hudson,” she said. “Lady Beatrice was going to see me home, but if you are going that way, I will not trouble her, if you do not mind.”

  “Of course not,” he said with a warm smile and a prolonged glance at Beatrice, which Christina noted with amusement. “I would appreciate the company.”

  “Lady Beatrice, you remember Lord Hudson?” Christina asked.

  “Absolutely,” Beatrice replied, her eyes brightening as she smiled at Lord Hudson. “From the wedding and then at the picnic.”

  He beamed at Beatrice. “It would be difficult to forget you, my lady. You were a wonderful dancer, if I recall correctly, and an excellent lunch companion.” As he helped Christina into the curricle, Christina was interested to notice that his eyes never left her friend.

  “I do hope I will have the opportunity to dance with you again, Lady Beatrice,” Lord Hudson continued, seeming reluctant to leave her to join Christina in the carriage. “Or perhaps you might enjoy a short walk in the park one afternoon?”

  Christina smiled to herself as she watched from atop the curricle. Beatrice colored furiously but nodded, her expression a little shy. Apparently, Lord Hudson was interested in furthering his acquaintance with Beatrice and, privately, Christina thought they would make a good match, as they were both as cheerfully loud as the other.

  “A lovely lady, your friend,” Lord Hudson commented as he stepped and sat down, taking the reins in hand while Christina waved goodbye to Beatrice. “I always meant to call on her but I had not yet had the opportunity what with all I have been engaged in recently.”

  Christina lifted one eyebrow. “Helping those who cannot help themselves?”

  Lord Hudson grinned. “Precisely. I’m sure Ravenhall has told you all about it but we have been able to secure a third establishment to rent for those who require a place to stay away from drunken husbands and the like. All quite secure, and the sewing and washing will be brought in as a means of payment for the women who are able. That husband of yours is quite something, Christina.”

  Nodding, Christina looked out at the passing houses, thinking how strange it was that Lord Hudson appeared to know more than she did regarding her husband’s actions over the past few weeks.

  “Yes,” she murmured, her eyes glazing over with a sudden sheen of tears. “Yes, he really is something, Lord Hudson.”

  16

  Daniel yawned widely as he leaned back in his office chair and stretched, thinking that it was likely time for him to retire. He had already tossed his jacket and cravat on the chair across the desk, though he knew his valet would most likely have a fit over the state of his clothing come the morning.

  Daniel had been surprised when Christina had returned from her walk with Lord Hudson earlier that afternoon, but of course, he welcomed his friend and, once their conversation was over, Daniel had insisted that Hudson remain for dinner.

  He had regretted it, however, when he saw the way Christina laughed with Hudson, smiling at him and responding to his witty conversation. He knew there was nothing between the two of them, and yet, he couldn’t help the envy that crept over him, as he wished that he was the recipient of her sparkling eyes and meaningful conversation.

  It was better that she remained at a distance, he reminded himself. He couldn’t help but notice, however, that in moments of silence she seemed somewhat restless, pushing food around her plate and fiddling with the simple gold band around her finger. Following dinner, she retired early, leaving him and Lord Hudson with their port.

  Guilt and shame now crept through his veins as Daniel realized he had been caught up with his own feelings of jealousy and entertaining his guest when he should have likely ensured that his wife was not unwell. He had bade her goodnight and left things there, not once thinking to go and check on her, nor considering speaking with her to find out if something was the matter.

  Mayhap she just has a headache, he told himself, throwing back the rest of his port. And she will be asleep by now, anyway. There is no need to trouble her.

  Getting up from his chair, Daniel wandered to the window and looked down at the streets of Mayfair below, though his mind was now filled with thoughts of his wife. He had been doing so well t
hese last few weeks, ensuring he spent as much time away from her as possible, forcing her from his mind without too much difficulty, but it was taking more and more effort to do so since he was often caught up in thinking of her. He did not want her in this thoughts, did not want his heart to quicken whenever she came into a room, did not want desire to pool in his core when she smiled at him — and yet it seemed he could no more keep his emotions under control than he could keep from breathing. Needing to speak of it, he had finally expressed some of his thoughts to Hudson earlier that evening, but the man had simply laughed at him, clearly not fully understanding his distress.

  “Laura is no longer with you, Ravenhall,” Hudson finally said with more compassion, when he realized that Daniel was actually serious, and Daniel wished he had never said anything, as he didn’t want to be pitied. “You have done right by her, but it is time to move on, to find happiness for yourself. You have every right to fall in love with your wife, you know. In fact, I would heartily recommend it.”

  Frustrated, though at who and for what he wasn’t sure, Daniel threw his head back and stared at the ceiling, his eyes closing tightly. This was not what he’d intended. He’d thought to remain aloof and entirely unaffected by his wife, believing that he’d be able to consummate his marriage without any kind of emotion bubbling up through him, but now he knew it would be impossible. Perhaps that was why he’d stepped back from going to her bed, why he’d stopped himself from doing the one thing he ought.

  He wanted to be detached, and yet his heart wanted to be tangled up with hers. He reminded himself of how he had felt when he’d found Laura in the threshold of his home. Daniel vowed that he would never again leave himself vulnerable to that potential heartbreak.

  No one will ever again have my heart, he vowed trying to convince himself as he opened his eyes and looked back out onto the road. What you feel for Christina is desire. Nothing more.

  “Daniel?”

  Jerking in surprise, Daniel turned to see Christina standing framed in the doorway. She was in her nightdress, with no kind of dressing gown wrapped around her to hide her form from him. As she walked toward him, Daniel came to his feet, his breath hitching in his throat as he saw the outline of her curves through the thin material, the swift kick of desire catching him unaware.

  “What are you doing here, Christina?” he ground out as she reached him, but cut his words off when she looked up at him.

  Her eyes were red-rimmed and filled with unshed tears, her lip trembling just a little.

  Concern filled him. Why had she been crying? He didn’t think but reached out his hand toward her, and she caught it with her own, clenching it as if drawing strength from him. To his surprise, she leaned into him and rested her head on his shoulder, even though he had not invited the contact. For a moment, he stood still, unsure of what to do as he felt her body soft and warm against him. He meant to put his hands against her to gently push her back away from him, but it seemed his arms acted of their own accord, as they slowly wrapped around her shoulders, his hands rubbing her back as she sighed, sniffling just a little.

  “What’s the matter, Christina?” he asked, gently, pushing away the sudden, ferocious desire to look down into her eyes, take her lips, and kiss away whatever was troubling her with all of the passion and desire that had been building within him for weeks now. “Is this why you left the table earlier this evening?”

  She nodded, her head rubbing against his shirt. “I saw Lord Northcliffe today,” she said, and his blood turned to ice in his veins as he froze in place, his heart seeming to come to a stop for a moment.

  “He knew who I was and where to find me,” Christina continued softly. “He — he frightened me.”

  Daniel swallowed hard, fear and anger fighting to take control of him, but he knew it was more important to be there for Christina.

  “He said to tell you that he had been called away from London for a time on business, but that he has returned again with no intention of leaving, despite your threats.” Christina lifted her head and looked up at him, and Daniel saw how she tried valiantly to keep her chin from quivering as her eyes searched his for reassurance. “How did he know who I was?”

  Drawing in a long breath, Daniel let it out slowly as he tried to stay as calm as he could. “He will have made it his business to find out. Lord Northcliffe and I … we have been something of competitors since our school days as boys. We were consistently besting one another. When I fell for Laura, I didn’t know that he had already developed affections for her. Apparently, that was just more than he could take. Anyway, I’m not sure what further I can do to keep him away until I can prove to the rest of society what he has done.”

  “I — I was afraid of him,” Christina admitted, biting her lip. “I didn’t know what to do, but luckily Lady Beatrice arrived and Lord Northcliffe seemed to vanish.”

  “Why did you not speak of this before now?” he asked, confused now. “Lord Hudson knows Lord Northcliffe, and he would have understood your need to tell me everything.”

  She shook her head, her eyes drifting closed. “I did not want him to see me upset,” she replied, her head now leaning on his shoulder again, her breath whispering across his neck. “I wanted only to speak to you.”

  There was such vulnerability in her words, in her openness, that Daniel could not help but respond, and warmth spread through his body in the knowledge that he was the one she trusted. His arms tightened around her in a sudden, fierce possessiveness, his eyes closing as he battled the emotions running wild through him. There rose in him such a ruthless protectiveness that he felt as though it might take charge of him completely, in his anger that Northcliffe had chosen to frighten Christina as a way to get at Daniel.

  “This is not your fault,” Christina whispered, her hands reaching up to slide around his neck, her fingers threading through his hair. “Do not blame yourself, Daniel.”

  He couldn’t speak for a moment, his blood pounding wildly as he fought the furious desire rushing through him, the desire that swept all other emotions away. He wanted to remain angry with Lord Northcliffe, wanted to stay enraged with him what he had done, but all he could think was just how much he wanted his wife.

  She stilled in his arms as he lowered his head, brushing her temple with his lips while inwardly cursing himself. He knew he had to bed her, but this was not how he’d intended to do it. There had been the thought that he’d remain entirely aloof, as though he’d be able to separate his heart from his body as he lay with her, but he couldn’t ignore the deep, unquenchable emotion that filled him. He was fond of his wife, he realized, otherwise he would not be so upset by what she had told him. He was angry that Lord Northcliffe had frightened Christina, that he’d used her as a pawn in whatever cruel game he was playing — but the urge to protect Christina, to reassure her and take away her fear, grew with every second that he held her in his arms and became more important than any vengeance.

  He stepped away, suddenly desperate to break their connection. He couldn’t do this. Not now, not when he had lost all control over his emotions.

  Christina looked up at him, her face filled with confusion, her arms falling to her sides. She swallowed hard, her lips trembling as a sheen came over her eyes, more tears threatening to fall from them.

  “Daniel,” she whispered, stepping toward him. “Don’t turn away from me. Don’t fight what you feel.”

  Daniel wanted to say no, wanted to leave her, but it was as if an invisible cord pulled him toward his wife, to her lush beauty, her caring heart, her practical, rational mind. Closing his eyes, he fought hard, but it was of no use. He had to surrender to what he felt.

  Without thinking about what he was doing, he stepped toward her suddenly and slammed his mouth down over hers. The passion that swiftly took over surprised him and Christina responded to him in kind, her body shivering as he held her tightly.

  If you give into this desire, then nothing will ever be the same again.

  He ign
ored the voice inside his head, forgot the memory of his first love and his fear of loving again, and chose to let his desire overrule it all. The feeling of her lips on his burned hot fire through his body, and Daniel knew he was lost.

  His hands began to roam up her back, his lips leaving her mouth to touch the curve of her throat. She gasped, and one of her hands tightened around his neck. He didn’t stop, couldn’t stop, but instead lifted her bodily into his arms and strode from the room and up the stairs.

  17

  Her bedchamber was warm, with only a few candles and a fire burning in the hearth. Daniel did not put Christina down until he reached her bed, easing her back gently as he kissed her again.

  There was no need to ask her if she wanted this, not when he heard her quiet moan as he ran his hand down the length of her body. Reminding himself that she was innocent, Daniel lifted himself up from her for a moment, looking down into her eyes as they fluttered open.

  “Don’t leave me, Daniel,” she whispered, her eyes bright in the candlelight. “Please, don’t leave me. Not now. I need you.”

  His heart cried out that he needed her just as much, but he did not say a word to her. Instead, he pushed his hands into her hair, marveling at how easily it came free of the long braid she’d tied it in. It was lit by the flames in the grate, shimmering with gold and bronze, and he savored the feel of the silken strands running through his fingers as he spread her hair out across the bed.

  Goodness, she was glorious.

  His fingers found the buttons of her nightgown and, without hesitating, he began to pluck them open. Christina inhaled sharply as his hands touched the bare flesh beneath. Desire burned through him as he let his mouth trail down her neck, her collarbone and, finally, to her breasts.

  Christina nearly came off the bed as he touched her, her mouth opening but no sound coming out from it. Never before had he wanted a woman so badly, and he was suddenly desperate to see her in all of her naked glory.