I Don't Belong to You

by Samantha Restrew

  «Yes, it seems reasonable to me. I recommend. Do not act recklessly, in case you were the first to find them.»

  «Of course! What are you worrying about? I know very well my job.»

  She nods and go in the snow. I do the same. Shit! It’s very cold! I’m losing the feeling in my feet. My upper side is well covered. When we understood that we had to go in the Sierra, we forced José to give us something heavier to wear, but we are still wearing our city shoes and the cold is coming up from the feet freezing my bales. It doesn’t matter. The death of that bastard Matthew Ross worth a cold ass. I want to kill him. I won’t do anything to Khyla. Even though I know that she isn’t a victim, I want to give her the opportunity to save herself as a reward for the beautiful days spent fucking together. At the most she will go to jail. But I want him dead. Dead as a doornail, with dangling tongue and face white as marble. I’m not interested in delivering him to justice. I just want to burn his brain with one shot of my gun. I’m already pleased just thinking about it. And Raven is moving away from me quickly, penetrating in the vegetation. Thanks to Heaven! Less witnesses, the better.

  CHAPTER 31

  KHYLA

  The snow come down dense, partly covering the sight. Even though we are well covered from head to feet, I’m feeling freezing. Difficult to understand if it’s only physical or even emotional cold. I really would like to be already in the house of José’s friend. I’m so tired that, after drinking something hot, I don’t rule out I could sleep for a week. Yes, because the only one knowing about our plan to go through the Sierra to go to Nevada, is Fred, but he was surely ahead when we turned in Tioga Road, so I can assume to be safe.

  «How long does it take to arrive, Matthew?» I ask.

  He doesn’t reply, absorbed as he is orienting himself in the snow. I’m fruitlessly trying to understand his thoughts, but it’s not easy to go over the courtain of his silence. I just know that, while I’m pretty quite, he seems worried and I can’t understand the reason. There’s no way to be caught here. At the most we could have to defend ourselves from some wild beasts. To think about it, makes me shiver. Now it seems to me to hear a howling. No! It should only be a suggestion. It could only be the sound of the blowing wind, carrying the snow. However, it’s better to be vigilant. I wouldn’t like to save me from the police and then being mauled by a pack of wolves or a bear.

  I walk and at every step I’m feeling more and more exhausted. My legs sink in the fresh snow and I have to make a great effort to get out from the footstep of my passage.

  «Khyla, did you hear?» whispers Matthew.

  «What?» I ask scared. The doubt that the howling of the wolves is not only the result of my imagination is manifesting in me and I’m beginning to fear the worst. He doesn’t answer, increasing even more my anguish. I express my fear.

  «Matthew, do you think there are wild beasts?»

  He laughs. An hysterical laughter, not at all reassurant.

  «That would be better, believe me. Instead I think I heard muttering in the woods. A kind of far echoes of multiple voices.»

  «It could be someone walking in the fresh snow.»

  «Yes, why not... Do you think that someone might organize a trip in the Yosemite Park in the middle of a snowstorm...?» comments Matthew, that clearly wants to conceal ironically all his anxiety.

  «What are we going to do?» I ask to understand if he’s got a plan.

  «At the moment the voices are far away. That doesn’t mean that, whoever it is, already sniffed our tracks. We should reach the house. Then we’ll see what to do.»

  I nod and we set off again. Matthew raises his pace and urges me to do the same. I’m trying, but joining physical strength to speed is too much for me. So he approaches and takes my hand. As soon as I feel his firm and secure grip, I resume the strength and the right peace to go on.

  «Come on, Khyla... It won’t be long...»

  «Yes, Matthew» I answer whispering.

  But at a certain point he stops, pricking up his ears.

  «Damned! Can you hear them?»

  «What?»

  «Their steps. There’s no doubt... someone is coming in our direction. We must hide.»

  He indicate a large tree and I’m appalled. What’s the matter with him? Does he think that the trunk is enough to hide the both of us?

  He drags me and I can see that there’s a large hollow hidden by a big stone. Not very large, but it’s enough for the both of us. We plug in and crouch down so that we can look outside without being seen. Thank to the big stone that works as a roof, there’s no snow inside the hollow, yet this is not a great consolation. Our bodies are adhering to the frozen ground. The only heat I can feel is his own breath on my neck when he turns to look at me. At the umpteenth time that my eyes are fixed in his, I can’t stand the temptation and I kiss him. This simple gesture is enough to provoke in me a deep desire. I know that it makes no sense to give in to my instinct. Even though this guy provokes in me an incredible roller coaster of sensations, I’m able to understand that this is not the right moment to let myself go. Yet to feel the soft taste of his lips comforts me very much. Perhaps because it could be the last time I do it.

  Matthew welcomes my kiss with a smile and embraces me as to give me courage and confidence. We prick up our ears again and so we percept the steps, at first farther away, getting more and more closer to our hiding place.

  I start trembling and Matthew, with soft voice never heard before, whispers that there’s no sense in having fear, that everything is going to be all right.

  «At least there could be a plausible explanation. They could be poachers taking advantage of the bad weather or rangers who control the situation.»

  Yes, it may be, but when two feet appears just in front of our hiding place, I hardly hold back a cry. Hell! I know very well those trousers. It’s impossible to be wrong... I washed and ironed them for months. That one in front of us can only be Fred.

  FRED

  At every step I feel more and more the weight of the guns charged with bullets. I can’t leave alive that dirty bastard, so I chose to bring with me a gun from my collection, beside the ordinance one. I admit that I’ve been lucky. When I started to San Francisco, I couldn’t know that those two were going to pass through the Sierra. I obviously had a premonition. In fact I’m holding a Sig Sauer, the best in case of freezing cold.

  The situation is less simple than expected. I followed their tracks as long as I could, but there is a big snowstorm and I have to cover my eyes with my arm not to be blinded. Let’s imagine if I could see where there are suspicious subsidences.

  No... I don’t even want to figure out the possibility of another failure. To imagine them escaping again after all the efforts made... this wouldn’t be acceptable. First of all, if I’m here is because of the affection that I felt and still feel for Khyla. Then the idea of being the only one to capture them is so tempting that I’m excited like a child on his first day of school. I can already see my photo model profile on the tv and the National press. If everything goes according to my plans, I will become a hero, I’ll be surrounded by a bunch of adoring women and I will certainly get a promotion. Actually, I think it’s this need to feel special, the reason why I’m still fighting against the dense snow. Yes, now I’m sure of it. About Khyla I felt something, but not so strong to justify this untiring commitment to this mission. Instead is the success that is calling me and I’m ready to answer.

  I proceed and try to catch some noise that indicates their closeness, but nothing. The howling of the wind comes peremptory to my ears and prevents me from hearing any other sound of different nature.

  Then a suspicious rustle behind my shoulders, I turn suddenly but I don’t see anything, yet I’m sure that they are there, somewhere...

  I go ahead confident. As a good gunfighter I pull out my Sig Sauer, ready to shoot against anything moving, even if my goal is to kill that bastard Ross. I stay still trying to catch again the rustle I heard b
efore, but the only sound I hear is the chirping of birds perched on the trees. What are they doing in this frost? I thought that all the birds were migratory like the swallows. I admit that I’m not an ornithology expert. The only bird I know very well is the one that I keep warm in the pants. If everything goes according to my plans, I soon can release it in Raven’s bed. I know women. I can understand when they like someone and she goes crazy for me.

  But it’s not time to think about these futilities. First duty, then pleasure. I can feel adrenaline flow through the veins and get straight to my brain. I’m so excited. I feel almighty, invincible like Superman and handsome like Indiana Jones in The Predator of the Lost Ark.

  Despite the intense cold, a drop of sweat comes down from the temple running over my cheek. Then I suddenly hear a noise behind my shoulders, it’s certainly not a bird, I turn and shoot.

  CHAPTER 32

  KHYLA

  I’m feeling weak, oppressed by concern. I considered this walk in the snow as the last effort before the deserved rest, instead it turned to be the worst nightmare. As we still are in the hollow with the blue trousers of Fred in front of us, I realize that we have come to the last challenge, at the moment of truth. Or salvation or final defeat.

  «Matthew, what are we going to do?» I whisper in his ear.

  «We wait for him to move away and then run in the opposite direction. I don’t see any other alternatives.»

  «What if he’s not alone?»

  «I’m sure he isn’t alone. I heard more than one voice and certainly he wasn’t talk to himself.»

  This isn’t comforting at all, but it’s not even conceivable to stay underground for long. I’m moving my fingers continuously to keep blood circulation active, but the more the minutes pass, the more I feel them swollen and insensitive.

  We look at Fred’s movements and, after a while, we see him disappearing in the snow-covered vegetation.

  «Thank to Heaven he hasn’t seen us!» I exclaim, sighing with joy.

  «We must take advantage of this to continue the escape. If we move in the opposite direction of his, we could be safe » says Matthew. I think that he says only half of what he is thinking and I’m astonished by the way in his eyes goes blank as he’s looking at the details of the next action in his mind. But I’m too much scared to help him to be polite and rational.

  «I’m so fucking scared, Matthew» I say trembling with terror.

  «There’s no need to be scared. If you’ve been following me until now, it means that you know you can trust me. Now we’ll get out of here and escape from that damned policeman. When we’ll be in the house, you’ll see that everything will be ok. José told me that the father of his friend is a poacher and there are some guns hidden in a hatch in the kitchen. If your guy tries to get closer to us, he’ll have to deal with me.»

  «Fred is no longer my guy for a long time, now» I comment sullen. I would like to add that my heart overflows with feeling and passion only for him, but it would not make a sense to reveal it now. That’s why I only smile and whisper to him: «I’m ready. Let’s go.»

  He gets out of the hollow with an athletic jump and pulls me up. We are about to go, when a long shiver runs along my back. My sixth sense tells me that there is something bad. I slowly turn and see Fred’s back side. What the hell is he still doing here? Perhaps, because of the bad weather, he has lost the sense of direction and is back on his footsteps. The feeling of anguish I feel in this moment is very strong. I would cry out my desperation, but Matthew doesn’t give me the time to express what I’m feeling. He takes my hand and lead me behind the trunk of a large secular tree, in the ultimate attempt not to be seen by Fred.

  I should be stronger, but I can’t. I’m still trembling, submerged by anguish. Matthew holds my hands, caresses my head and embraces me, whispering to my ear that everything is going to be all right. I’m pleased by his sweetness, perhaps for the first time since I know him, but this won’t do me any good, with Fred nearby. He knows what to do. He’s an asshole as boyfriend, this is for sure, but he is also a policeman with undeniable qualities. He used to pass more time at the shooting range than at home with me.

  Matthew peeks from aside the sequoia and makes a nod to tell me to be ready to go behind the other tree. When he makes a peremptory gesture I run, he follows after a few seconds. It’s at this point that a firing rumbles making me jump. A cry and I see Matthew falling on the snow. It can’t be true... It can’t end like that...

  I cry out all my desperation. I don’t care if Fred is going to kill me, but I can’t leave Matthew in this moment. I go toward him and notice that the bullet went into his right thig. I can see a large spot of blood wetting his trousers and I bent to check his condition. He doesn’t speak, he hardly breaths, but thanks to Heaven he’s alive.

  «Move away, Khyla! I want to finish that asshole!» Fred shouts with all his voice to overcome the noise of the wind, that meanwhile started to blow with all its impressiveness.

  I caress Matthew’s beautiful face, pull the gun out of his pocket and stand up, taking the most threatening look I can.

  «Don’t you dare to move or it will be you to die!» I shout, pointing to Fred the empty gun. Not that this is an ingenious move, but maybe will keep Fred away from Matthew. He won’t dare touch me, or so I hope.

  «So it’s true! You are his accomplice! I would never expect that from you, Khyla... Do you know where you got yourself into?»

  «These are no more your buisiness since you fucked with Fanny in my bed, Fred. Anyway, if you want to know why, I’m helping Matthew because his detention was unjust. If the Law is wrong, it is necessary to remedy to its mistakes. Even going against legality.»

  He laughs and doesn’t stop pointing his gun to me.

  «Are you listening yourself? He did you a brainwashing. And you risk your freedom because of a man like that? I betrayed you, but I would never had endanger your life, not even for all the gold in the world. He, instead, doesn’t care to use you as a shield.»

  Hearing these words, I would really like to have the weapon loaded to riddle him with holes and shut his mouth ones and for all. I know him very well and I know that he is trying to make me nervous to achieve his purpose. I’m not going to allow it.

  Or, at least, so I think, but Matthew doesn’t. He is saying that I should move away, because for him is over, while for me there’s still hope.

  «I have no intention of abandoning you. Whatever happens, we’ll be together.»

  I bent keeping the gun to Fred’s direction and with the other hand I try to pick up Matthew. Initially he attempts to oppose, but in the end he surrenders because of my sureness, so I can manage to put his arm on my shoulders so to be a support for him. We start going backward, hoping to convince Fred to let us go. But the more we go backward, the more he comes forward.››

  «I beg you, let us go. I ensure you that Matthew is a good guy.»

  I see him moving the gun and I understand that maybe there is still hope...

  FRED

  That cretin is still begging me to save her Matthew. What’s the matter with her? Does she think to have to deal with a saint with a halo above the head? For sure that guy has remarkable persuasive skills to convince Khyla to take up the cudgels for him.

  If it wasn’t because of her, I would have already rubbed his head, but I can’t kill them both. How could I justify to my colleagues and to the Media the death of the hostage because of my fault? I wouldn’t become a hero, but a National laughing stock.

  I am thinking quickly. I’m not going to let them go, of course, nor to kill Khyla. What am I going to do? Then, finally, the genius plan. I move the gun aside pointing it to a large snow pile. Khyla seems reassured just because she doesn’t know what is going to happen. I shoot and then run to shelter behind a tree. As I thought, a big white block comes down becoming more and more bigger while descending overwhelming everything it encounters on its way. From behind my shelter I see that the snow slide goes against th
e two fugitives sweeping them away them. I’m impressed by Khyla’s wide opened eyes, that looks at me before being swiped away by the white hell. The snow slide leads them to a precipice and I see them falling down. It’s impossible for them to save. This time I’m the winner.

  I see Raven running toward me breathless.

  «I heard shots! What happened?» she yells, approaching me while I’m pretending to feel a deep pain. I’m so good playing the part, that I could win the Oscar for the best performance.

  «Raven, it’s been horrible. They appeared with a gun. As I was trying to stop them quietly, they shoot and I dodged the shots, but they provoked a snow slide that brought them down that precipice.»

  She covers her mouth with a hand to hide the horror, then goes to look down the precipice.

  «With this bad weather I can’t see anything. We have to call the rescurers. Maybe they are safe.» she suggests.

  «I don’t think they can do much with these meteorological conditions. And with the flight they made it’s impossible that they survived. It’s better to go and say to your colleagues what happened. When we’ll be at the police station, we might better organize what to do.»

  She ponders for a few seconds, then agrees with me: «Yes, maybe you’re right. We’ll do the appropriate checks, but nobody can be saved in this situation. I’m very sorry for your ex girl-friend»

  «Me too» I answer with tearful voice. She embraces me with an arm around my neck in sign of affection and I cling to her hips, slightly touching her beautiful buttocks with my arm.

  Raven sighs and looks at me with adoring eyes.

  «You’ve done your best. You have nothing to complain.»