The Shocking Trouble on the Planet of Shobble

by L. M. Moriarty

  ‘And tell me, have you decided whether you would be willing to help us?’

  Nicola didn’t hesitate. ‘Absolutely!’ Then she added quickly, ‘Depending, of course, on what the mission actually involves.’

  Enrico said, ‘Of course, of course! May I suggest you drop by for dinner and a briefing? I assume you have your own transport?’

  ‘Yes, we do,’ said Nicola proudly, thinking of the Mini Easy-Ride Spaceship that Shimlara had left behind with Tyler after their last mission.

  ‘Excellent! Shall we say 6 pm?’

  Nicola’s mouth dropped open. Did he mean 6 pm today?

  ‘Well, it’s been a pleasure speaking with you,’ said Enrico, without waiting for an answer. ‘I do look forward to meeting you. Oh, I’ll have someone pick you up at the SpacePort, of course. Cheerio!’

  The line went dead. Slowly Nicola hung up the phone. My goodness, she thought. What have I done?

  ‘Well?’ said Sean.

  ‘We need to be on the planet of Shobble today at 6 pm,’ said Nicola. ‘For a mission briefing and dinner.’

  ‘EXCELLENT!’ said Sean.

  ‘Did you mention we weren’t exactly “highly trained”?’ asked Katie worriedly.

  ‘What are you talking about?’ said Sean. ‘We’re the best! We kick butt!’ He kicked over a chair to demonstrate.

  ‘So when should we leave?’ asked Tyler.

  Everybody looked at Nicola expectantly and suddenly she remembered the huge weight of responsibility that came with being in charge. It was like lugging a heavy backpack when everybody else was walking around empty-handed.

  ‘Okay,’ she said. ‘We’ll have to pick up Shimlara from Globagaskar on the way. I don’t know how long it takes to get to Shobble and there are probably time differences, so, um, I think we should leave Earth by no later than, um, ten o’clock.’

  ‘Right! Meeting at ten hundred hours.’ Tyler stood to attention.

  Nicola said, ‘I don’t know if it’s cold or hot on Shobble so you’d better bring summer and winter clothes just in case – oh, and pack anything else that you think might be useful.’

  ‘Like what?’ asked Katie, who had actually taken out a notepad and was writing down what Nicola said. Sometimes Nicola didn’t know which was worse: when the members of the Space Brigade didn’t respect her, or when they did.

  ‘I don’t know,’ she admitted. ‘Just think creatively.’

  ‘Right,’ said Katie uncertainly.

  ‘I guess I’d better call Greta,’ said Nicola. ‘And Sean, can you send Shimlara an i-mail?’

  Everybody scattered. Nicola dialled Greta’s number, gritting her teeth in preparation. Normally it took only about thirty seconds of conversation with Greta before Nicola found herself wanting to bang her head against the nearest wall.

  ‘Hello?’

  ‘Hi, Greta, it’s Nicola.’

  ‘My mother says it’s bad manners to call anyone this early.’

  Nicola turned and gently bumped her forehead against the kitchen wall.

  ‘Sorry. It’s just that the Space Brigade has another mission –’

  ‘What? When did you hear about this? Why didn’t you tell me earlier?’

  ‘Well, I –’

  ‘I suppose Katie and Tyler and Sean already know about it?’

  ‘Well, yes, sort of.’

  ‘Typical. Favouritism. A good leader shouldn’t favour anyone. Anyway, I’m very busy today.’

  ‘Oh! Well, that’s okay. I just thought I should ask –’

  ‘But I suppose you need me. It’s not like you could have managed the last mission without me. So when and where do we meet?’

  ‘Ten o’clock at my place,’ said Nicola weakly. ‘Pack clothes for all seasons and anything that you think might be useful.’

  ‘You’re not very organised – you really should have given more notice and sent out memos and a schedule. That’s what I would have done. But all right, I’ll see you then.’

  Nicola hung up the phone. Sean called down from the top of the stairs, ‘Shimlara just i-mailed back! She hopes it’s even more dangerous than last time!’

  ‘Well I don’t!’ called back Nicola, but suddenly she was in an excellent mood. She ran up to her bedroom to start packing.

  4

  As Nicola was going through her drawers looking for warm clothes to pack, her mum poked her head into the bedroom. She was still wearing her dressing gown, and her hair was sticking out around her head as if she’d just been electrocuted.

  ‘Good morning! Caught any worms?’

  ‘Huh?’

  ‘The early bird catches the worm.’

  ‘Oh. Um, no. Ha ha.’

  Her mother yawned hugely and walked into the room. Nicola kicked the bag she was packing out of sight.

  ‘What does “fortuitous” mean?’ asked Nicola.

  ‘It means something happening by accident that turns out to be good luck. For example, let’s say that one day, on a whim, I decide to take up pottery, and as it happens there is a special promotion where Brad Pitt is giving a kiss to every lady who signs up for pottery that day. Well, that would be fortuitous. Extremely fortuitous.’

  Her mother looked dreamy for a second before pulling herself together and saying, ‘Your dad and I are going shopping for Grammy’s present today. Do you want to come? Or are you too busy? I thought I heard Tyler and Katie this morning.’

  ‘Sorry,’ said Nicola. ‘I can’t. We’re . . . doing something.’

  ‘Oh, okay.’ Her mother stretched her arms above her head for another gigantic yawn.

  Don’t ask what we’re doing. Don’t ask what we’re doing.

  ‘So what are you doing?’

  Nicola sighed. She was in no way perfect but she’d never lie to her parents. She knew it would hurt their feelings too much.

  ‘We’re taking the spaceship to the planet of Shobble. The Commander-in-Chief has asked the Space Brigade to go on a mission for him.’

  Her mother blinked rapidly. Then she burst out laughing. ‘You had me for a second there. Oh, you’ve got a wonderful imagination, Nic! I think you must get it from me. Your father has no imagination whatsoever. Well, have fun.’ She left the room, calling back merrily, ‘Don’t get into trouble on Shobble! Wear plenty of sunscreen!’

  Nicola was slightly offended. Was it really so unlikely that they’d be going on another mission? Oh well, it was fortuitous that her mum didn’t believe her, because now she could leave for the planet of Shobble with a clear conscience.

  5

  At 10 am on the dot the Earthling members of the Space Brigade were standing next to the rusty old swing set in Nicola and Sean’s backyard.

  ‘Right,’ said Nicola to Tyler. ‘Let’s set up the spaceship. Do you know what to do?’

  ‘I think so,’ said Tyler. He squatted down next to the small silver briefcase he’d brought along with him. Printed on the side were the words MINI EASY-RIDE SPACESHIP. Tyler pressed a tiny square button that said ACTIVATE and moved away. ‘Give it some room,’ he said tersely, and they all took a few steps back.

  The suitcase didn’t do anything.

  ‘You’ve done something wrong,’ said Greta.

  ‘He has not,’ said Katie.

  ‘Shall I give it a good thump?’ asked Sean.

  ‘Patience,’ said Nicola grandly, ‘is a virtue.’ Everyone stared at her, impressed. Sometimes things like that just came into her head.

  The suitcase began to twitch and wobble as though there was a puppy inside trying to escape. It lifted off the ground and spun in circles, slowly at first, and then faster and faster, until it was just a streaky whirl of colour.

  Everyone stepped back again. There were clunks and clangs and a high eeeeeeee sound. Sparks flew.

  Crash. Thud. Crash.

  And there it was, glowing silver and gold in the sunlight – their spaceship.

  ‘Ha! Ha ha!’ cried Tyler. He ran around the spaceship giving it loving little pats. Nicola th
ought that if he was on his own he’d probably have thrown his arms around it.

  After a moment he realised they were all watching him. He stopped and coughed loudly to cover his embarrassment. ‘Okay, everybody, no need to get too excited. It’s just a spaceship.’ He saw their broad grins, shrugged and said, ‘Well, it’s pretty amazing, isn’t it!’

  ‘It is,’ said Nicola. She clapped her hands and said, ‘Okay, let’s go!’, then felt a bit stupid for accidentally clapping her hands like a teacher.

  Tyler beamed and held up a big silver key. He inserted it in the lock on the back of the spaceship. The glass bubble on top rolled back smoothly and a ladder slid down to the ground. One by one they climbed up and settled themselves into the passenger-pods around the pilot’s seat.

  Nicola handed Tyler a piece of paper with Shimlara’s address on Globagaskar on it so he could type the address into the spaceship keyboard. She wondered if the others were thinking about how when they left Globagaskar last time he accidentally typed in ‘ARTH’ instead of ‘EARTH’. They didn’t realise they were on the wrong planet until they’d left the spaceship and they were all nearly killed by hungry Arth-Creatures who thought they looked like a tasty, home-delivered lunch.

  ‘Don’t worry,’ said Tyler, who must have been remembering the same thing. ‘I’m being careful.’

  ‘Oh,’ said Nicola. ‘I just thought of something. Can we fly this spaceship at Time-Squeeze Speed so our parents won’t worry about us?’

  She was remembering how Shimlara’s dad had used ‘Time-Squeeze Speed’ when he flew to Earth from Globagaskar. It was an amazing device that used intergalactic molecular conversion to compress time on the planet you were leaving behind. It was fantastic because it meant you could travel to another planet with time up your sleeve. They could spend a whole day on Shobble and only a few minutes of time would pass on Earth.

  ‘Um, let me see.’ Tyler pulled out the instruction manual and his gaze moved between it and the panel of buttons, flashing lights and levers in front of him. ‘Here it is!’ He pulled a lever and a robotic voice said, ‘You-have-switched-to-Time-Squeeze-Speed.’

  ‘Right,’ said Tyler. ‘Please prepare for . . .’ He punched one fist on a large red button. ‘. . . take-off!’

  The spaceship shot straight into the air.

  Nicola looked out the window and saw that the cars parked on their street already looked no bigger than toys.

  As they climbed higher into Earth’s outer atmosphere, the bright summer day vanished like a dream. Now they were surrounded by silent, velvety blackness. All around them were glittering stars. Earth floated beneath them like a beautiful marble.

  ‘Should have brought a pack of cards for the journey,’ yawned Sean. Nicola poked him in the side. Sean was playing it cool but Nicola knew there was no way he could not have been amazed to be in outer space again.

  ‘I think that’s Globagaskar down to our left,’ said Tyler, his face flushed with excitement.

  They all craned their heads to see. If Earth was the size of a marble, Globagaskar was a soccer ball. There were no blue patches, like on Earth, because there were no oceans, but Nicola knew the patches of white were the tops of colossal snow-capped mountain ranges.

  ‘Prepare for landing,’ said Tyler into his microphone.

  ‘Oh, gosh.’ Nicola had forgotten how incredibly fast spaceship travel was with Globagaskarian technology.

  The spaceship began to plummet towards the planet below. This part always made Nicola feel dizzy, as if they were going over the top of a waterfall on a raft. As they drew closer, she could see the mountain peaks draped in snow like the icing on a wedding cake. Then the mountains disappeared and they were over the top of a city.

  ‘We’re coming up to the Gorgioskios’ house!’ said Tyler, his hands tight on the controls.

  ‘Don’t land on Georgio’s aero-car again,’ said Greta.

  ‘That wasn’t me. That was Shimlara.’ Tyler looked away from the controls at Greta.

  ‘Watch where you’re going!’ warned Nicola as the spaceship dropped rapidly towards the house.

  Tyler manoeuvred the spaceship over the Gorgioskios’ backyard.

  ‘There’s Georgio in the pool!’ said Katie.

  And there he was, floating flat on his back in the pink water, his legs crossed at the ankles, a big straw hat shielding his face.

  ‘Not in the pool,’ she said to Tyler. ‘Oh, please don’t land in the pool.’

  ‘I’m trying not to,’ said Tyler desperately, a trickle of sweat running down his forehead. ‘I’m trying . . .’

  But the spaceship seemed attracted to the pool like a magnet.

  Nicola watched as Georgio lazily lifted his hat from his face and looked straight up at them. They were close enough now to see his mouth form a circle of horror.

  ‘We’re going to land straight on top of him!’ cried Nicola.

  With an explosion of frothy pink water, the spaceship crashed straight into the swimming pool.

  6

  There was silence except for the sound of water lapping gently against the sides of their spaceship.

  Tyler bent forward with his hands pressed against his face. ‘Sorry,’ he said.

  ‘It’s not your fault,’ said Katie.

  ‘Of course it’s his fault!’ said Greta. ‘He was the one flying!’

  ‘I’d like to see you do any better,’ said Sean.

  ‘Enough!’ said Nicola. ‘We need to see if Georgio is okay.’

  Tyler pressed a button and the spaceship hatch opened. As they looked around, all they could see were the walls of the pool. The force of their landing had created such a huge splash, most of the pink fizzy pool water had disappeared.

  ‘Oh frizzle!’ said Nicola. (‘Frizzle’ was a private Berry Family swear word which they were allowed to use in times of extreme stress.)

  Everyone unbuckled their seatbelts and climbed out of the spaceship. They waded through the ankle-deep water towards the ladder and clambered out into the Gorgioskios’ backyard.

  ‘Georgio!’ Nicola called out frantically. ‘Georgio!’

  ‘I’M UP HERE, YOU FOOLISH BABOONS!’

  They all looked up to see Georgio sitting on the roof of his house, his long legs wrapped around the chimney. He must have been swept up there by a huge wave of water.

  He jumped nimbly off the roof and stood looking down at them grimly. Nicola had forgotten about his height. It was like looking up at a small tree.

  ‘We’re very sorry,’ said Nicola humbly.

  Georgio’s face broke into an enormous smile. ‘You know what that was like? Swimming on one of your Earth beaches! What do you call it again? Grabbing a wave?’

  ‘Catching a wave,’ said Sean. ‘Or surfing.’

  ‘Ah, yes! I remember! Well, I admit, that wasn’t quite what I expected while I was enjoying a peaceful afternoon in the pool, but never let it be said that I can’t deal with the unexpected. Hello, Nicola, Sean, Katie and Tyler! It’s a pleasure to see you all again!’ He shook hands warmly with each of them. His voice changed slightly as he spotted Greta. ‘Oh, and you too, of course, Greta.’

  At that moment Shimlara’s mother, Mully, appeared around the side of the house. Apart from her height, she looked just like an ordinary mum, but Nicola knew that Mully was actually a former officer in the Globagaskarian Army and as tough as nails.

  ‘Look where our young Earthling friends decided to land their spaceship,’ said Georgio, pointing at the swimming pool. ‘Aren’t they creative?!’

  Mully smiled. ‘I hope you’ve all got time to come in for a cup of blueberry tea before you leave, Nicola?’

  ‘Definitely,’ said Nicola gratefully.

  They followed her into the house. All the rooms were circular, instead of square, with huge murals and mirrors on the walls. Everything was on a bigger scale than on Earth. Nicola walked by a coffee table that came up to her waist; the dining-room table was above her head.

  Shimlara’s
little brother Squid appeared with his thumb in his mouth, dragging a scruffy old blue security blanket behind him. Although he was only three years old, he was exactly the same height as Nicola. ‘Earthling!’ he cried when he saw Nicola. He saw the others and hugged his blanket ecstatically. ‘Lots of Earthlings!’

  ‘Hey there, Space Brigade! I was so excited when I got your i-mail!’ Shimlara bounced into the room, ponytail bobbing, eyes sparkling. She had wild curly hair like Nicola, except that hers was dark brown while Nicola’s was light brown. She was about the same height as Nicola’s dad.

  They all sat around the enormous dining-room table and Mully served giant cups of blueberry tea and crunchy almond biscuits the size of dinner plates.

  ‘So, who is your client?’ she asked.

  ‘He’s the Commander-in-Chief of Shobble,’ said Nicola.

  ‘Oh, you mean Enrico,’ said Mully with a faraway look in her eyes. ‘I knew him many years ago in my army days. He’s a handsome, charming man. We actually went on a few dates before I met Georgio.’

  ‘Imagine,’ said Shimlara. ‘My dad could have been a handsome, charming man.’

  ‘You don’t need to imagine that.’ Georgio ran a hand through his hair suavely and lifted his nose. ‘Just turn your head and look at me!’

  ‘Now, Shimlara, I want you to be polite when you meet Enrico,’ said Mully. ‘Don’t embarrass me by putting your elbows on the table, or reading his mind!’

  Although the people of Globagaskar had the ability to read minds, and project their voices into other people’s minds, it was considered quite bad manners.

  ‘Who, me?’ said Shimlara innocently.

  Mully rolled her eyes. ‘Anyway, what is this mission Enrico wants you to handle?’

  ‘We’re hoping it’s something really dangerous and scary,’ said Sean.

  ‘I met Enrico once,’ mused Georgio. ‘I thought he had a very untrustworthy-looking nose. He didn’t seem an especially brave fellow either.’

  Mully ignored him. ‘I’m sorry to disappoint you, Sean, but if you’re going to Shobble, it won’t be a dangerous mission. Nothing bad has ever happened in the entire history of the planet of Shobble. They’re proud of that.’