The Shocking Trouble on the Planet of Shobble

by L. M. Moriarty

  ‘Never a moment’s trouble on our pretty planet of Shobble,’ quoted Georgio. ‘That’s their slogan. Not very imaginative. Enrico probably thought of it.’

  ‘Shimlara, didn’t you study Shobble at school?’ asked Mully.

  Shimlara had an advantage over the Earthlings – they barely knew anything about other inhabited planets. After all, Earthling teachers weren’t aware they even existed.

  Shimlara said, ‘Don’t ask me about Shobble’s history, but I can tell you guys the most important thing: it’s where ShobbleChoc comes from!’

  ‘ShobbleChoc?’ asked Nicola.

  ‘It’s the most delicious chocolate in the galaxy,’ said Mully. ‘They say it’s impossible to have a sad thought while eating ShobbleChoc. It’s made from freshly mined marshmallow and pure chocolate drilled straight from Shobble’s chocolate fields. They export it all around the universe.’

  ‘Not to Earth,’ said Greta.

  Mully gave her a rather pitying smile. ‘That’s because Earthlings get so upset when sales representatives from other planets drop by. They call perfectly ordinary spaceships “UFOs” and everyone runs about waving their hands above their heads, making it hard to do business. I’m afraid no Earthling has ever eaten real chocolate – just that fake, manufactured stuff.’

  ‘ShobbleChoc!’ said Georgio, looking dreamy. ‘Every bite is a summer holiday. Every mouthful is a symphony.’

  Nicola looked around the table and saw that all the Earthlings were quietly licking their lips, imagining the taste of this incredible chocolate.

  ‘Now that I think about it,’ said Mully thoughtfully, ‘it’s been very hard to get ShobbleChoc lately.’

  ‘Don’t you just order it from the Telepathy Chef?’ asked Sean, who had been very taken with this particular Globagaskarian appliance on their last trip. All you had to do was close your eyes and think of a particular food, and the Telepathy Chef delivered it.

  ‘Look what happens.’ Shimlara pointed at the gold hutch in the centre of the table. She closed her eyes and then pressed a large red button. A tray instantly slid out from the hutch. It contained a note and one green apple.

  The note said, Sorry. ShobbleChoc not available. How about a nice, healthy apple instead?

  ‘Sounds like Mum,’ said Sean gloomily, just as a shrieking noise came from another room.

  ‘What’s that?’ asked Nicola, alarmed.

  ‘It’s our new ring tone,’ said Georgio. ‘I’ll get it.’

  ‘Are the people on Shobble as tall as Globagaskarians?’ Katie asked Mully.

  ‘No, Shobble is a young planet like Earth,’ said Mully. ‘So Shobblings are about the same height as Earthlings.’

  ‘What about their technology?’ asked Tyler. ‘Do they have great gadgets like on Globagaskar?’

  ‘No way! Globagaskar is the most technologically advanced planet in the galaxy,’ said Shimlara proudly.

  ‘Well, technology isn’t everything,’ said Mully. ‘Shobble might be old-fashioned, but it’s an especially beautiful planet. Do you know, it has over a thousand permanent rainbows?’

  When Georgio came back from the phone Nicola noticed he looked distracted.

  ‘Is everything okay, Dad?’ asked Shimlara.

  ‘What? Oh yes, perfectly fine. Well now, you’d better not keep the charming Enrico waiting, eh? Need to make a good impression by being punctual!’

  Nicola watched as Georgio and Mully shot each other meaningful, worried looks. Something serious was going on, but obviously Shimlara’s parents weren’t going to tell them about it today.

  Nicola stood up and said, ‘Let’s go to Shobble, Space Brigade!’

  7

  ‘I think I can see the rainbows!’ shouted Katie.

  They had taken off from the Gorgioskio swimming pool just a few minutes earlier. Now the spaceship was hovering in starlit darkness over what looked like a tiny, glowing golf ball. Nicola pressed her nose against the window and saw that the glow was caused by hundreds of rainbows shimmering above the planet.

  ‘Prepare for landing,’ said Tyler into the microphone. Nicola could see he was rigid with nerves. She reached over and gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder. ‘You’re doing great,’ she said quietly.

  ‘Thanks,’ said Tyler, and his shoulders relaxed slightly. The spaceship began to hurtle towards Shobble.

  As they got closer the colour of the rainbows became as bright as sunshine. Suddenly the inside of the spaceship was flooded with flickering colour: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet. It was like they’d been plunged into a tropical fish tank.

  ‘It’s so beautiful!’ Shimlara held out her hands in front of her, as if she could catch the dancing prisms of colour.

  ‘Ha! You’ve got an orange nose!’ Sean pointed at Greta.

  Tyler cleared his throat. ‘Welcome to Shobble.’

  They’d been so distracted by the rainbows they hadn’t even noticed they’d landed.

  ‘Great landing, mate.’ Sean gave Tyler an enthusiastic slap on the back.

  Tyler winced slightly and said, ‘Thanks.’

  ‘I think we’ll all need sunglasses.’ Nicola shielded her eyes as Tyler pressed the button to release the hatch and the light from the rainbows became even brighter. There was a blast of ice-cold air. ‘And really warm clothes,’ she added.

  Everyone rifled through their backpacks for sunglasses and their warmest jackets.

  One by one they all climbed down the spaceship ladder. Nicola had nervous butterflies. This was it. The mission was beginning. Her cheeks stung in the cold, and as her feet hit the ground, they disappeared into a soft, fluffy substance that came up to her ankles.

  ‘Snow!’ said Shimlara. ‘I think I remember learning that Shobble has the softest, driest snow in the galaxy.’

  Nicola reached down and picked up a handful of the white powder. Shimlara was right. It was as soft as feathers and the tiny crystals fell gently through her hand like sand. She turned her attention upwards to the rainbows soaring back and forth across the sky like the arches of a glorious cathedral. If only she’d brought along a camera. She would have to write up a ‘Mission Checklist’ for next time.

  ‘Should I pack up the spaceship, Nic?’ asked Tyler behind her.

  ‘Oh, yes, good idea.’

  Tyler pressed a button on the spaceship key. He stepped back and the spaceship began to whirl in slow circles that got faster and faster. Seconds later, the spaceship had disappeared and all that was left was the silver briefcase. Tyler picked it up by the handle.

  ‘Okay, time for some action!’ Sean jumped around on his toes and practised a few of his karate moves, one of which narrowly missed Greta’s head.

  ‘The Commander said he’d send somebody to the SpacePort to pick us up,’ said Nicola. ‘That’s where we are, isn’t it? The SpacePort?’

  She looked around a bit anxiously. It didn’t seem like a normal airport on Earth with the roar of planes taking off and landing, and thousands of travellers hurrying back and forth carrying baggage. Shobble seemed eerily silent.

  Shimlara pointed at a sign. WELCOME TO SHOBBLE SPACEPORT. Never a moment’s trouble on our pretty Planet of Shobble.

  ‘Oh good,’ said Nicola. ‘Well, I guess we just wait.’

  Her ears were cold so she opened her bag to pull out a hat.

  ‘What’s that?’ asked Greta, pointing at a small jar in her bag.

  ‘When I was packing I was looking around the kitchen for something useful to take and I saw this jar of chilli powder on my dad’s spice rack,’ Nicola explained. ‘I thought it might make a good weapon. I could throw it in someone’s eyes.’ Nicola was rather proud of her resourcefulness.

  Greta snorted and reached into Nicola’s bag to pull out the jar. ‘Yes, but you didn’t pick up the chilli, did you? This is turmeric. It wouldn’t hurt a fly.’ Nicola looked down at the jar in her hands and saw to her horror that she’d accidently picked up a jar filled with yellow spice.

&nbs
p; ‘Oh,’ she said. ‘Well, anyway, what useful thing did you bring, Greta?’

  ‘A compass,’ said Greta smugly.

  Nicola had to admit that a compass probably was a sensible thing to bring. ‘What about you, Katie?’

  Katie looked slightly embarrassed. ‘All I could think to bring was my Travel Scrabble set. You know, for if we get bored.’

  ‘I brought some really useful stuff,’ said Sean, pulling things out from his bag to show them. ‘My new Screaming Puppies CD in case we need some excellent music, and a bread knife, a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter in case there’s a hunger emergency.’

  ‘Where’s the bread?’ asked Nicola.

  ‘I ate it,’ said Sean happily. ‘There already was a hunger emergency.’

  ‘Great,’ said Nicola. ‘What about you, Tyler?’

  Tyler winced. ‘You’ll laugh at me. I was looking around for a weapon too and all I could find was my mum’s hair-straightening iron. She’s always burning herself on it.’

  ‘Well, it’s better than a jar of turmeric,’ said Nicola. ‘What about you, Shimlara? Did your mum give you some good weapons?’

  Shimlara’s mother had provided some great weapons for their last mission.

  ‘Sorry,’ said Shimlara. ‘Mum said nothing bad ever happens on Shobble, so there was no point. All she gave me was this Instant Clothes Dryer.’ She held up a tiny fan. ‘Mum said that because of the snow, she was more worried about us walking around in damp clothes than anything else.’

  ‘Well I guess that could come in handy,’ said Nicola, trying not to let her disappointment show.

  ‘I think I can hear bells,’ said Katie.

  There was a musical jingling sound in the distance. Then came a thudding vibration like hooves.

  ‘Oh my goodness, what are those strange animals?’ asked Greta. ‘Are they dangerous?’

  It looked like a pack of giant chickens was hurtling across the snow towards them. They were pulling a large silver sleigh behind them. A man wearing a top hat held the reins, and instead of a whip, he was holding what seemed to be a huge white feather above his head. Every now and then he brought it down gently on the backs of the creatures.

  ‘I think they must be ShobGobbles,’ said Shimlara. ‘They’re native creatures on Shobble and they’re very friendly. Gosh, you guys, it’s hurting my brain having to remember every single thing I learned in class.’

  As the sleigh drew closer, they got a closer look at the ShobGobbles. Each animal had three intelligent brown eyes fringed with long curly eyelashes under one elegantly arched eyebrow. They had tiny kitten-like ears, snub noses and luxuriously feathered wings that flapped gently by their sides. Their legs were thin and spindly, with large chunky hooves. They were making soft chirping sounds like sparrows.

  ‘Oh, they’re beautiful,’ said Katie, who loved animals.

  ‘Ugly-looking things,’ shuddered Greta, who didn’t.

  The man in the top hat pulled on the reins. The sleigh came to a stop and he held up a small board with the words Space Brigade? written in chalk.

  ‘Oh, yes,’ said Nicola after a second. ‘That’s us!’

  The man immediately leapt down from the sleigh, lifted his top hat and bowed. He was mostly bald except for a circle of fuzzy red hair. He was a bit like Santa Claus without the beard: short and plump, with round apple-red cheeks, a big smile and shiny deep-set eyes like raisins in a gingerbread man. To her immense surprise he walked straight up to Nicola and gave her a big warm hug.

  ‘Oh!’ Nicola patted the man on the back awkwardly. ‘Hi there.’

  He then proceeded to silently hug each member of the Space Brigade.

  ‘I just remembered something else we learned,’ Shimlara whispered quietly to Nicola. ‘Shobblings are the nicest, kindest people in the whole galaxy.’

  ‘Can’t they talk?’ Nicola whispered back.

  ‘Um, I don’t know. I might have stopped listening during that part. It’s sort of remarkable that I’ve remembered this much.’

  The man was busy writing down something else. It took ages. The members of the Space Brigade exchanged puzzled glances. Finally he held up the board.

  Hi there! My name is Silent Fred. I am your driver. Welcome! You will be warm and comfy under the rug in the sleigh with a delicious hot chocolate. I will take you straight to the Commander-in-Chief’s cottage. Welcome! (You are the first Earthlings I have ever met. You look very nice and normal! Do you speak Onglish? I hope so!)

  ‘Onglish?’ said Nicola to Shimlara.

  ‘It’s ninety-nine point nine per cent the same as English,’ said Shimlara. ‘Or ninety-nine point six. Anyway, it’s almost exactly the same.’

  ‘Oh, okay. Yes, we speak Onglish,’ said Nicola. ‘Thank you very much, ah, Silent Fred.’

  Silent Fred gestured at her backpack. Nicola handed it over and he stowed it carefully on a ledge under the sleigh. He did the same for everyone else, and then helped them all climb aboard.

  There were two seats on either side of the sleigh facing each other. Once they were all sitting down, Silent Fred spread a soft white rug across their knees. He produced a red thermos and poured each of them a mug of creamy hot chocolate.

  ‘That smells so good!’ said Katie.

  Silent Fred beamed at her and then produced a plastic container full of pale pink, squishy marshmallows. He popped one into each mug.

  Finally, he lifted his top hat again, gave another little bow and walked back around to the front of the sleigh. He waved his big white feather high in the air and brought it down softly on the backs of the ShobGobbles. The sleigh slid gently through the snow with a jingle of bells.

  ‘Oh!’ Sean’s head fell back against the seat. His eyes were glazed and dreamy.

  ‘What’s the matter?’ asked Nicola.

  Sean said, ‘I just had some hot chocolate. Taste it. It’s . . . it’s just . . . taste it!’

  Nicola took a sip. It was like nothing she’d ever tasted in her life. It was as if all the hot chocolates she’d ever had before had only been pretending to be hot chocolate. This was so much richer and creamier, but it was more than that – it was an entirely different sensation of drinking. Nicola imagined her tastebuds throwing streamers in the air and dancing in the streets.

  She looked around and saw similar expressions of dazed bliss on everyone’s faces – even Greta’s.

  Shimlara smacked her lips. ‘If you think this is good, wait till you taste your first bar of ShobbleChoc!’

  Soft flakes of snow began to fall. Nicola cradled her mug of hot chocolate in her hands, snug and warm under the white rug. She looked around at a strange world awash with the colours of the rainbows and thought about her great-grandmother. Grammy said she had some memories from the year 1930 that were as clear as yesterday. Nicola thought: I’ll remember this when I’m one hundred years old.

  8

  ‘Here come some people!’ said Tyler.

  They’d been travelling in the sleigh for about twenty minutes without seeing a single thing other than large, flat, snow-covered fields.

  Now, in the distance, they could see a crowd of people walking towards them. As the people saw the sleigh ahead they obligingly stepped off the track to let them pass. Nicola could hear their excited shouts as they watched the sleigh approach.

  The first thing Nicola noticed about the people of Shobble was that they were extremely dirty.

  Some of them were splattered with a pink gooey substance that clung to their clothes and faces. They were wearing hard hats and carrying tools. Others were drenched in a shiny, dark brown liquid, so only the whites of their eyes and their teeth were visible.

  ‘They must be the marshmallow miners and chocolate drillers on their way home from work,’ said Shimlara.

  The people looked quite similar to Silent Fred. They all had fuzzy hair and round chubby faces. Their shoulders were slumped with exhaustion, as if they’d been working very hard. However, when they caught sight of the Space Bri
gade, their faces broke into friendly smiles. They waved enthusiastically and called out words of welcome like, ‘Warm Shobble Greetings, strangers!’ and ‘Shobble Joy to you and yours!’

  The Space Brigade smiled and waved back. The people of Shobble really did seem especially nice.

  They had travelled for another ten minutes when Silent Fred turned around and showed them his board. He’d written: Marshmallow mine coming up on your right.

  They could hear the distant clanking of machinery. A divine smell filled their nostrils. It was like a mixture of strawberries, honey and rain on a summer’s day. Nicola could see the other members of the Space Brigade lifting their noses high and sniffing the air like dogs.

  As they got closer to the mine, the smell became even stronger, until Nicola’s head was swimming. She looked out and saw a hive of activity. There were hundreds of miners busy at work. A foreman yelled instructions at a miner driving a forklift. A group of miners appeared at the top of a mineshaft, drenched in marshmallow, and were immediately replaced by another group. ‘Look,’ said Sean, as one of the forklifts lifted a huge vat of bubbling pink marshmallow and poured it into a waiting container on the back of a truck.

  ‘It’s amaz –’ began Tyler.

  A huge explosion drowned out the rest of his words.

  The ShobGobbles reared up in terror and the sleigh rocked violently. Nicola clung to the side, spilling what was left of her hot chocolate on the white rug. She could see a massive ball of red smoke right where the forklift carrying the vat of marshmallow had been. Gradually it cleared and Nicola saw that the vat had been overturned in the explosion. The miners who had been standing nearby were covered head to foot in marshmallow. Those who had been further away were removing their helmets and scratching their heads.

  Nicola looked back at her friends in the sleigh and saw that they were all covered in tiny pink shreds of marshmallow. Sean was busy peeling them off his clothes and eating them.