Live and let Drood sh-6

by Simon R. Green

  Might I enquire your names, sir and madam, and what I might best do to assist you? On the grounds that the sooner we get that done and get you out of here, the sooner we can get back to normal around here.

  Eddie Drood and Molly Metcalf, I said grandly.

  Is that going to be a problem?

  Oh no, sir, said the Steward, just a bit surprisingly. You are a member in good standing, Mr. Edwin. Everyone in your family is, and has been for centuries. Mr. Matthew used to come in all the time to avail himself of the club s wine cellars. The young lady is, of course, entirely welcome as your guest. How may I assist you?

  Matthew always did like a free drink, I said.

  And I think I could murder something tall and frosty, too. How about you, Molly?

  I could drink, said Molly. In fact, after the day I ve had, I think I could drink quite a lot.

  The steward issued the very faintest of sighs, and I looked interestedly to see if dust would come out of his mouth. It didn t. He led us down a corridor or two and into the club bar. Everyone else in the bar immediately decided they were needed urgently elsewhere. In fact, there was a bit of a rush and a definite crush in the door, for a moment. Molly and I lined up at the bar, and the barman came forward to serve us. A tall, grey-faced figure in the same old-fashioned outfit, with deep-set eyes, a cadaverous face and a professional smile. He gave the impression he d been serving behind that bar for quite some time.

  How long have you been here, barman? said Molly, her thoughts clearly running the same way as mine.

  I have always been here, madam, said the barman, in a cool if distant voice. What is your pleasure, sir and madam?

  I had an ice-cold bottle of Becks. Molly had a bottle of Beefeater gin. The barman served them both immediately from under the bar counter, as though he d had them there prepared and waiting all along. And then he just stood there, waiting for his next instructions. I took a slow reflective drink from my nice cold bottle of Becks, while Molly made serious inroads into her bottle of gin. Nothing like fighting delinquent demon schoolboys and an ex-SAS combat sorcerer to work up a serious thirst. The steward stood to one side, waiting patiently. And giving every indication of being prepared to wait there for as long as was necessary. I looked him over thoughtfully, and only then realised that he wasn t blinking. Or breathing.

  Excuse me, steward, I said. But you are dead, aren t you?

  Indeed, sir, said the steward. All the staff here are. Though we prefer to think of ourselves as mortally challenged. We served the club in life and continue to serve it in death. Not a lot of difference, really. We are here because we choose to be, because none of us wishes to leave the club. We think of it as ours. The members are just passing through, but we are always here.

  I have always been the barman, said the barman, without being asked.

  Do the members know? said Molly.

  They prefer it, madam, said the steward. It means they don t have to remember our names or bother with gratuities. Now that you are both suitably refreshed, might I again enquire as to your purpose here at the Establishment Club? Can I assist you in any way?

  We re looking for Crow Lee, I said.

  Nothing simpler, sir. He s just this way, in the club library. He s been waiting for you.

  I looked at Molly and then back at the steward. He has?

  Oh, indeed, sir. He s been waiting here for you for quite some time. He came in especially early for him, just to be sure of meeting you.

  I emptied my bottle of Becks, slammed it down on the bar counter, and nodded briskly to the steward. Then take us to him. Right now.

  Of course, sir. If you and the young lady would like to follow me

  He led us out of the emptied bar and set off at a steady pace. Molly and I strolled along behind him, refusing to be hurried, on general principle. Molly was still clinging determinedly to her bottle of gin. I knew better than to comment. She leaned in close beside me to murmur in my ear.

  So, what s the plan?

  Plan? I said.

  We re about to go up against the Most Evil Man in the World! On his own territory! I think at least one of us ought to have a plan of action. Don t you?

  Well, we can t just walk in there and kill him, I said.

  We can t? said Molly. Are you sure about that, because I m certainly willing to give it a good try.

  What was it you said just now about not killing in cold blood?

  That was a person! Just an old pro, like us! This is the Most Evil, et cetera, who will almost certainly kill us if we don t get our retaliation in first!

  He sent my family away, I said. It s always possible he might be able to bring them back again.

  Ah, said Molly. Yes. All right. So we talk first, see if we can strike some kind of deal, and as soon as it becomes clear we can t, then we kill him. Any ideas on how?

  We improvise, I said. Suddenly and violently and all over the place. And try very hard not to get ourselves killed in the process.

  How powerful do you think he is, really? said Molly.

  I don t know, I said. But I think we re about to find out the hard way.

  The steward took us straight to the club library, opened the door and stood well back, allowing Molly and me to enter entirely at our own risk. Even the mortally challenged know better than to get involved in some things. Or to get caught in the crossfire. He announced us as we strode in.

  Mr. Crow Lee, may I present to you Mr. Edwin Drood, and his associate, Miss Molly Metcalf. Should you require me or any other member of staff, I should point out that we will all be hiding in the cloakroom until the forthcoming unpleasantness is over. At which point we will emerge, as there will no doubt be a great deal of cleaning up to do. Gratuities will be appreciated on this occasion, for the extra work.

  The closing door cut off his last few words as he absented himself. No one was paying him much attention. Molly and I stood side by side in the club library, facing Crow Lee and his bodyguard. The library wasn t much, in my opinion. I was used to the massive, extensive libraries of Drood Hall. Repositories of secret and hidden knowledge amassed over centuries; forbidden books laid down to mature like fine wines. This was just a big room with bookshelves on all four walls. I leaned over for a quick look; not even leather bound. Just standard hardback editions, the kind you can order by the yard.

  There were no other members in the club library, presumably because Crow Lee was there. He sat in a large comfortable armchair, entirely at his ease, smiling in a smug and satisfied way. As though he d been sitting there for ages, just waiting for us to come in. And maybe he had. Crow Lee was a large, broad-faced, powerful-looking man, wearing a long Egyptian gown so spotlessly white it seemed to shine and shimmer in the restricted light of the library. He had a great shaven head and piercing dark eyes under bushy black eyebrows. So large a man, he seemed to fill his chair to overflowing. His hands, emerging from the narrow pure white sleeves, were particularly big and powerful. He had an almost hypnotic gaze, with eyes that seemed to look deep into me. So I deliberately looked away. At meetings like this it s always important to establish the ground rules early on.

  Crow Lee reclined in his chair and made no move to rise to greet Molly and me. He didn t even offer to shake hands. Instead he smiled easily at me, ignoring Molly, like an important personage indulging some pushy interloper. So completely confident in manner that he passed right through arrogance and out the other side into confident again. We didn t worry him, because nothing worried him. Because he d killed everyone who might have worried him. He fixed me with his cold, dark gaze, giving me his full attention. So I refused to look at him, giving all my attention to the bodyguard standing silently at his side.

  I took my time looking him over. I knew him. Molly and I both knew Mr. Stab, and he knew us. The notorious uncaught serial killer of Old London Town. He d operated under many names down the years, and I don t think even he knew just how many women he d butchered and killed in his time. Since he made himself deathless t
hrough the ritual slaughter of six unfortunate women in Whitechapel during that unseasonably warm autumn of 1888. When everyone knew the name the papers had given him. Mr. Stab was tall and solemn, dressed in the formal clothes of his own time, right down to the opera cape and top hat. He could blend into a crowd when he had to, could look just like everyone else when he was out on the streets after dark, pursuing his prey. But when acting in his professional capacity, he preferred the look of his legendary past.

  His ominous presence dominated the whole room, but he was still the second-most-dangerous person there, and everyone knew it. Because Crow Lee really was the Most Evil Man in the World. You had only to look at him to know it.

  He should have been stroking a white cat in his lap. Or pulling its legs off.

  I stepped forward, still deliberately not looking at Crow Lee, giving all my attention to the man in black, Mr. Stab. He nodded thoughtfully to me and to Molly.

  It s been a while, I said, since I invited you into my home, and you repaid my kindness by murdering my cousin Penny.

  I told her not to love me, said Mr. Stab, in his cold, calm voice. I told her it could only end badly.

  She was my friend! said Molly. And you killed her!

  Yes, said Mr. Stab. It s what I do. It s all I can do with a woman now. Not quite the immortality I thought I was buying, with my celebration of slaughter. But then, Hell has always had its own sly sense of humour. You know who and what I am, Molly. I ve never made any secret of what kind of monster I am.

  And I m a Drood, I said. That s who and what I am. I protect the innocent, and when I can t, I avenge their murders.

  I looked at him steadily, and he stirred uncomfortably for a moment. Crow Lee laughed out loud and clapped his huge hands together.

  Bravo, young Drood! I m impressed! Really. There aren t many in this world who can make the notorious Mr. Stab shiver in his shoes.

  He spoke directly to me, still ignoring Molly. I could feel her containing herself at my side. She knew he was trying to get to her. Crow Lee s voice was rich and cultured, soft and self-indulgent and oh, so self-satisfied. The voice of a man with nothing to fear.

  I don t think I ve ever seen anyone disturb dear Mr. Stab before. So welcome to the Establishment Club, Edwin Drood. You belong here, with your own kind. You really are everything I hoped you d be.

  I looked him up and down and then dismissed him to glare at Mr. Stab again. How did he hire you? What could he possibly promise you?

  An end to my curse, said Mr. Stab.

  There is only one end for something like you, I said. And that s to kill you. And I ll do that for free, for what you did to Penny.

  And for so many others, said Mr. Stab. Funny how it s always easier for you to care about the ones you knew. And, anyway, you already tried, and failed.

  But this time I ll hold you down while he does it, said Molly. You promised me I could trust you.

  Promises are made to be broken, said Mr. Stab.

  Who should know that better than I?

  Don t, I said. Don t you dare try and make us feel sorry for you. Not after everything you ve done.

  I stood beside you, said Mr. Stab. Stood with the Droods when you went to war with the Hungry Gods. Helped you save the world. Shouldn t that count for something?

  What do you want? I said. A thank-you?

  I tried! I tried because I didn t want to be a monster anymore!

  Then what are you doing here with Crow Lee? said Molly.

  Because sometimes it takes one monster to destroy another, said Mr. Stab.

  Well, Crow Lee said brightly. Isn t this nice? Old friends talking together. Thank you for joining me here in the Club Library, Eddie.

  Call this a library? I said. A collected Dickens and a few Trollopes?

  If you ve quite finished chatting with the hired help, said Crow Lee, determined to draw everyone s attention back to himself, we do have matters of importance to discuss.

  Molly and I both looked at him, and he wriggled delightedly in his chair, enjoying himself; a disturbing movement in one so large. He looked me over, taking his time. Still ignoring Molly.

  I never thought I d have to look at a Drood again, said Crow Lee. But then, you re like cockroaches, aren t you? So many of you, and so hard to kill. But worth the effort.

  So you admit you re responsible for the attack on Drood Hall? I said.

  Crow Lee laughed happily. Admit it, little Drood? I boast it. I glory in it! I ve known all about Alpha Red Alpha for years and years, just waiting for someone in your family to be foolish enough to use it. I had the remote control, you see, the means to override the mechanism, but

  I cut in. I knew he was teasing me, but I just couldn t help it. I had to know.

  How did you get your hands on the remote control? Who did you get it from?

  From the same person who first told me about Alpha Red Alpha, Crow Lee said easily. You have a traitor in your family, dear Eddie. A very old and very well-established, very well-hidden traitor. And I have always been so very well served by traitors. He hates you even more than I do, and with much better reason. But as I was saying before I was so impertinently interrupted I had to wait for someone in your family to feel so threatened that they d actually risk using Alpha Red Alpha, before I could use my remote control. You see, you have to lower all the Hall s protections before you can activate the dimensional engine. They interfere with its workings, apparently. Can you imagine what it was like for me, learning that you d used the thing at last? And that all I had to do was wait for you to return and then hit the button on my special remote control? No, you can t imagine what it felt like, knowing I finally had the means to send your whole stupid, interfering family away, forever.

  I struck while you were vulnerable, and just like that, you were gone! Good-bye, Droods, forever! Rotated out of reality and dumped somewhere else. I do hope it turned out to be somewhere really appalling. I sent them there and I left them there, and I laughed and laughed and laughed.

  And then you dropped the other Hall in its place, I said, and something in my voice stopped his laughing. To hide what you d done.

  Oh no, said Crow Lee. That was just a happy accident. An entirely unanticipated and fortuitous side effect. I did enjoy it, though. A wrecked and ruined Hall and dead Droods lying everywhere what s not to like? They weren t the actual family I hated, but they were Droods, and I m sure I would have hated them if I d known them.

  You bastard, I said.

  I started forward, and Crow Lee stopped me with an upheld hand.

  Think, little Drood. Consider the implications of what I ve done. Whatever happens next between you and me, I want you to understand that you cannot undo the one thing I ve done that really matters. I have proven to the world that Droods can be beaten. The wrecked Hall and dead Droods are proof of that, forever. Even if you do somehow escape my wrath and continue as the Last Drood, even if you somehow find a way to bring your nasty family back the world will never see you as unstoppable again. I ve seen to that.

  I had to smile. All right. You re reaching now.

  Am I, little Drood?

  Bring my family back, I said. And I promise I won t kill you.

  Crow Lee lost his easy smile. He scowled fiercely at me. No one gives me orders, boy. I ve never needed a family to make me strong. I ve never needed armour to hide behind. I made myself what I am through sheer force of will!

  And by killing a whole lot of people, I said.

  Mostly through treachery, backstabbing, and getting other people to do your dirty work for you. Don t try it on me. I ve read your file.

  Crow Lee leaned forward in his chair and fixed me with his dark, disturbing gaze. And suddenly he was the most fascinating thing in the room. I forgot about everything else, forgot about Mr. Stab, forgot about Molly, forgot about my poor lost family. I was staring into Crow Lee s eyes and I couldn t look away. Didn t want to look away. Crow Lee spoke directly to me, and his voice was the most compelling thing I d e
ver heard.

  You don t want to fight me, said Crow Lee. I am your friend. You know you can trust me. My enemies are your enemies. You want to protect me against my enemies. Like that woman standing beside you. You can t trust her. You know that. She s always getting in the way, meddling in your affairs. You want to be free of her. So kill her. Kill her for me and for yourself.

  All the time he was speaking to me, I knew it was all bullshit. Knew it, knew he was lying through his teeth. I didn t believe a word of it, but still I couldn t stop listening to him. He held me with his dark, hypnotic gaze and his persuasive words. I fought him with everything I had. Fought his influence and the words he was saying, and bit by bit I drew back from him.

  I took a deep breath and looked away, breaking Crow Lee s gaze. His influence was gone in a moment. He looked at me openmouthed, as though he couldn t believe it, and I looked back at him and laughed in his face, just a bit shakily.

  Had me a little bit worried there for a moment, sweetie, murmured Molly.

  Droods are trained to withstand mental challenges, I said loudly and confidently. Because we are, but it had still been a bit too close for my liking.

  You dare defy me? whispered Crow Lee. You dare?

  Were you bullied as a child? I said. Did they make your life hell at school? Is that what this is all about? Because this whole Most Evil Man bit strikes me as just so much overcompensation.

  Crow Lee turned his burning hypnotic gaze on Molly. Kill him! Kill him!

  Molly just laughed at him. Oh, come on. You have got to be kidding. I m the wild witch, remember? The laughter in the woods and the lightning in the storm? Frankly, I m offended you even thought that would work.

  She brought the bottle of gin to her lips, took in a good mouthful and then leaned forward abruptly and sprayed the whole lot across Crow Lee s face. The stream of neat gin burst into flames as it left her lips, and Crow Lee screamed shrilly, like a small child, as flames leapt up all over his face. He wiped them away quickly with his bare hands, burning them too in the process, and jumped to his feet. His face was scalded bright red where it wasn t flushed with rage, and his eyes were already puffing shut. He snapped his fingers imperiously at Mr. Stab.