Good Vibrations

by Elizabeth Parrish

  Thankfully, everyone else seemed to be reasonable friendly and cheerful. As long as I kept Blanche well caffeinated, things were looking promising.

  “No regrets about your decision then?” Nigel asked inquisitively.

  “No, not at all. I’m excited for the opportunity to learn about the industry and the chance to make myself useful. Plus, this is one meal more than I ever went for with my previous boss,” I replied with a laugh.

  “Perhaps I have a greater appreciation for what you bring to the table than Ms. Beckwith did,” Nigel responded with a wink.

  Before I could even ponder the intended meaning behind his comment or the wink, a tall, slender, impeccably dressed man walked up to our table, looking very much like he had just stepped out of a GQ magazine shoot.

  “Nigel, I haven’t seen you here in ages. You look absolutely delicious,” he noted enthusiastically, a hint of a lisp evident in his voice as Nigel stood up to hug him affectionately.

  “Evan, it’s been way too long,” Nigel replied warmly. “Evan, let me introduce you to Anna. Anna just joined us today as our new junior publicity specialist.”

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m so jealous that you get to work under Nigel,” he noted a salacious grin.

  I believe it.

  Okay, so it certainly seemed like Nigel was flirting with me before. Evan was most definitely flirting with Nigel now. So just what was Nigel’s deal?

  “Yes, I’m pretty excited. I get the impression that Nigel isn’t quite like anyone I’ve worked under before,” I replied with complete sincerity.

  Or possibly anyone else I had ever met.

  “I can’t disagree with you there. I certainly think he’s one of a kind,” Evan said with a wink as he affectionately squeezed Nigel’s shoulder before saying, “But I shouldn’t keep the two of you from your lunch. It was delightful to meet you Anna. You’re in good hands with Nigel.”

  After Evan departed and we sat back down, Nigel, stating the obvious, said with a chuckle, “Sorry, Evan’s a bit gregarious isn’t he? He’s an amazing graphic artist though. We have him do some cover work for us from time to time.”

  “He, umm, certainly seems to have an artistic flair about him,” I agreed with a bemused smile while attempting to tread carefully with my response.

  Not only was I still trying to figure out precisely where Nigel’s interest lay but I also didn’t want risk to sticking my foot in my mouth in case the two of them had shared more than an interest in art in the past.

  “I love the vibe at this restaurant. I can’t believe I’ve never been here before. What do you recommend?” I asked benignly as I gazed at the menu, attempting to shift the conversation to more solid ground.

  “I can’t speak to the menu but I can tell you that this gentleman is a tasty treat,” the words seemingly coming out of nowhere until I swivelled to see a tall, shapely brunette with cheekbones that looked like they could cut ice, walking up to Nigel from behind me, and thrusting her taunt derrière in my direction as she bent down to kiss him on the cheek.

  Hmm, well this was an interesting development. But it was doing nothing to clear up any of my questions about Nigel.

  Just what was going on here?

  “Natasha! I haven’t seen you since that trip to Macao. When did you get into town?” Nigel asked, the affection obvious in his voice.

  “Sorry, where are my manners. Anna, let me introduce you to Natasha. Natasha has done some modeling for a couple of the magazines we work with from time to time,” Nigel continued, sadly neglecting to provide any details on their trip to Macao.

  So why was I getting the distinct impression from the gleam in Nigel’s eye that some of Natasha’s most memorable modelling moments might have occurred off camera?

  “Are you working under Nigel as well?” Natasha asked, following a popular line of conversation for the meal.

  “Anna just started with us as a junior publicity specialist but I can see her working her way into more interesting positions in the future,” Nigel responded, winking at me.

  And the mystery deepens…

  All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else – Mae West

  63. As I headed home after my first day, exhausted but utterly contented to finally have taken the first step towards a meaningful career, I decided I needed a little pick me up and I popped into the first coffee shop I spotted to grab a caramel macchiato.

  Stepping inside, I was immediately hit by a painful wave of nostalgia as I realized that I had picked the same coffee shop that Jonathan had taken me to after our aborted attempt at skating.

  I still couldn’t believe that I hadn’t heard a word from him since Valentine’s Day. He could be married to an oil heiress by now for all I knew.

  As memories of my time with Jonathan continued to wash over me, I briefly considered finding another coffee shop.

  It was downtown Vancouver; I could probably find 3 more before I made it to the end of the block. But I was already here and I couldn’t think of a better day to put the past behind me than this one.

  As I sat down with my caffeine infusion, a Tegan and Sara song started playing in the background and I couldn’t help smiling as I thought about Sam and Elyse.

  That boy had a long road ahead of him if he truly wanted to make an honest woman out of Elyse someday, but I was so proud of my girl for finally giving Sam an honest chance.

  I glanced around idly at the other patrons as I sat back contently but, as my gaze moved towards the back of the shop, I felt the little hairs on the back of my neck stand up and my heart momentarily stopped beating as I briefly caught sight of a familiar reflection in the mirror.

  Sneaking another furtive glance at the mirror, I confirmed my initial suspicion.

  Jonathan was back in town and, once again, fate had brought us together. However, this time around fate had inserted a busty blonde between us.

  All things considered, I much preferred the car accident. It was far less traumatic.

  With my heart pounding so wildly that I thought it was going to pop out of my chest, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in a futile attempt to try to calm myself.

  I had never had a panic attack before so I couldn’t tell if my symptoms were reaching clinical levels, but I would have gladly welcomed a massive heart attack on the condition that it put a swift and permanent end to my anguish.

  If there was such a thing as a living hell, being trapped in a confined space and forced to watch the man that broke my heart while he flirts with possibly the most physically perfect woman I had ever laid eyes on had to qualify.

  Thinking about my options as rationally as I could, I realized I was in a no-win situation.

  If I got up and dashed for the door, Jonathan would undoubtedly see me and realize that I was fleeing because of him.

  On the other hand, if I stayed where I was, I was going to be forced to listen to Jonathan’s conversation with his new friend, staring at my replacement in the mirror until I keeled over from jealously.

  The expression ‘stuck between a rock and a hard place’ does not even begin to cover situations like this.

  With my eyes firmly shut as I agonized over how to extricate myself from my dilemma, the lyrics from the song that only moments earlier had me smiling wistfully were now evoking a very different emotional response.

  “How come you don’t want me now?

  Why don’t you want to wait this out?”

  Seriously? This was going to be the soundtrack to my nervous breakdown?

  Try as I might, I couldn’t help but glance at the mirror again.

  Fabulous.

  Not only did she have a face that belonged on a magazine cover, but she also appeared to have barely hit her twenties.

  Was it asking too much for my replacement to have at least one visible flaw that I could repeatedly pick at in my head over the next few months?

  “I see you by my house,

  Walking with a dif
ferent girl.

  I see you by my house,

  Talking with a different girl.”

  If I somehow manage to survive this ordeal, I was taking a bat to that fucking stereo on my way out.

  I tried to raise my cup to my lips in a futile attempt to calm my nerves but my arm was shaking too badly for it to comply with the request without slopping coffee all over the table.

  Well, I guess that ruled out a speedy exit.

  If I tried to stand up at that moment, there was a reasonably good chance that it was going to resemble a scene from Bambi’s first steps on ice.

  “Why don’t you want to win me now?

  Tell me why you couldn’t try,

  Couldn’t try and keep me here.”

  Gazing sorrowfully into the mirror, I consoled myself with the knowledge that at least they weren’t all over each at their table.

  If Jonathan had so much as reached for her hand or brushed her hair from her face, I was pretty sure I was going to lose whatever remained of my sanity, which at that moment was hanging precariously by a thread.

  Then, as I turned away from the mirror, I heard Jonathan’s voice inquisitively inquire, “Anna?”

  He must have caught my gaze in the mirror before I had a chance to avert my eyes.

  I guess there’s no way out of this now…

  Faith is the force of life – Leo Tolstoy

  64. With every muscle in my body trembling uncontrollably, I wobbled to my feet and tentatively stepped towards Jonathan’s table.

  As I did my best to put one foot in front of the other, I could feel the sweat forming in beads all over my body and I was seeing spots that I was quite sure were not a part of the coffee house décor.

  This gave a whole new meaning to a walk of shame.

  Here I was, alone, unloved and just a decade away from my forties, while the man who’s departure had sent me to the hospital was contentedly sitting there, large as life, with the new and very much improved version of me.

  Anna 2.0.

  Younger, taller, prettier and no discernable pit stains.

  Sigh.

  “Jonathan, hi, I didn’t know you were back in town,” I responded with all the feigned enthusiasm I could muster, using every ounce of self control I had left to keep my eyes from releasing the tidal wave of tears that was building up behind them, like a dam seconds away from bursting.

  So nice of you to get in touch and tell me you were back in town. And to mention that it had taken you all of 5 seconds to get over me and to move on to younger and curvier things.

  Nothing makes a girl feel really special like knowing she can be replaced in the time it takes most people to restock their fridge.

  “I actually just got back yesterday. My body was telling me that I should be waking up right about now so I thought I should try a caffeine cure,” he replied, his smile turning my insides to mush as I felt my eyes starting to glisten.

  Fabulous.

  One single fricking day.

  So did she come with the duty free vodka? One complimentary girlfriend with every bottle purchased?

  “Oh, I’m sorry, I’m being rude,” he exclaimed, standing up to introduce his companion.

  ‘Rude’ wasn’t exactly the word that I had in mind to describe him. ‘Contemptible’ seems more apropos, but rude was a solid start.

  “This is my baby sister, Jocelyn. She’s studying psychology at UBC and she volunteered to house sit for me while I was away,” Jonathan continued.

  I reached out to shake her hand while trying to keep my jaw from dropping to the floor as I struggled to digest that extraordinarily helpful tidbit of information.

  An enormous wave of relief flooded over me as I realized that, perhaps, I hadn’t been replaced just yet.

  I had to grab on to the back of the nearest chair to keep my knees from buckling as an inordinate amount of tension abruptly left my body.

  At some point Jonathan had mentioned having a younger sister, but I had never seen a picture of her and the family resemblance had been completely lost on me during my bout of severe paranoia.

  “It’s so nice to meet you,” I gushed enthusiastically with an enormous, goofy smile plastered across my face.

  That had to have been the understatement of the year. By not starting his sentence with, ‘This is my girlfriend’, Jonathan had probably prevented me from bursting a blood vessel right then and there.

  “It’s nice to meet you as well. My brother’s told me so much about you. It’s great to finally put a face to the name,” Jocelyn replied warmly.

  Given semi-recent events, I wasn’t sure if that sweet of her to say or slightly scary to hear.

  “Thanks, only good things I hope?” I replied a bit more timidly than I had intended and with a look on my face that probably resembled that of a puppy looking for some sign of approval from its owner.

  Good grief girl, get a hold of yourself! You just had a billionaire chasing you (albeit rather briefly).

  “Yes, very much so,” she replied, grinning roguishly at her brother.

  “Excuse me for a second though, I have to pop into the ladies’ room,” she continued, discretely excusing herself and leaving Jonathan and I alone.

  “So, how have you been?” Jonathan asked, smiling at me nervously.

  Hmm, well you’re certainly not going to be hearing any details about my fabulous tour of the emergency room at Vancouver General anytime soon. However, a carefully edited version of my yachting adventure might serve you right…

  “Everything’s been going really well for me lately,” I replied, doing my best to ensure that my expression matched my words.

  “Actually, I just started my new job today and my boss took me out for a fabulous lunch to celebrate. It seems like it’s going to be a really fulfilling position,” I continued as I mentally debated whether or not I should mention Sean (and his yacht).

  “That’s fantastic, I’m so happy for you. I know that you weren’t exactly loving your last job,” Jonathan replied before awkwardly continuing, “So…”, the pregnant pause hanging in the air as I waited for the question that I was praying he wanted to ask, “are you seeing anyone right now?”

  Woo hoo! I might be more available than a juicy rib-eye at a PETA fundraising dinner, but he was going to have to sweat a bit before I released that piece of information.

  Better yet, the fact that he was asking almost had to mean that he wasn’t seeing anyone either.

  “As a matter of fact, someone did ask me to go for drinks a couple of days ago. I wasn’t going to saying yes, but then I suddenly remembered that the last guy I had went out with fled the country without asking me to wait for him, so I decided maybe I should,” I replied, giving him a not so subtle jab.

  “Ah, I see. And how did that go?” Jonathan asked, looking a bit wounded by my response.

  “Really well,” I replied enthusiastically, twisting the knife a bit deeper as I continued, “He ended up inviting me back to his yacht for dinner and he mentioned something about sailing me down to California, but I told him that I wouldn’t have felt right abandoning my new boss like that.”