Marry Grinchmas

by ChaShiree M

  Once her breathing evens out and I know she is asleep, I make a vow to God to keep her safe no matter the cost to me. Before this moment, I had no idea what sex was like with someone you care about. I would never knowingly do anything to jeopardize what I want to build with her. As I drift to sleep, I notice she makes cute little snore sounds and talks a little in her sleep. Could she get anymore adorable?

  Later that afternoon, when we finally wake up, I decide to give her a pussy a break. I had woken about eight and taken her once more even though I knew she was sore. She didn’t deny me.

  I took her to town for a big lunch. It was pretty good, but I typically eat at home or at my moms. While she was Christmas shopping in an antique store, (I’d rather gouge my fucking eyes out) I noticed a douche bright red Corvette cruising Main Street and revving its engine. This is a quiet town and that shit is making everyone stare at his dumb ass. My first thought is, how the fuck did that car actually drive in four feet of snow? I had a bad feeling about it, but once it pulled off onto Foxglove Avenue there wasn’t much I could do about it.

  “Hey Ham? Can you help me with this thing?” I hear Avalynn’s sweet voice as she comes up behind me. I notice her and Chip Gundersen, the quarterback of our high school’s football team, carrying an old time, ugly ass, and silver couch. Maybe it’s a couch? It’s long with no sides. I see Chip eyeing my girl like she’s his next fuck under the bleachers.

  “Uh. Yeah! Where the fuck is this thing going?” I ask, thinking it was a good thing I drove my truck.

  “At the foot of your bed.” She says tossing her long hair over her shoulder. I catch a whiff of my shampoo and fuck if that isn’t sexy.

  “The foot of my bed!” I repeat like a parrot.

  She takes a quick glance at Chip, who is still staring at her like she hangs the moon, before saying in a husky whisper “After last night, I assumed I’d be living with you. You could have gotten me pregnant last night.”

  “Are you really going to deny me this authentic nineteenth century gilt Louis XV chaise lounge? It has a silver leaf walnut frame and will look great at the foot of the bed. I just know it” she says with a smile that melts my frozen heart; but not enough to hide the smirk alerting me to the fact she is yanking my chain. She is so fucking adorable.

  “How much was it?” I ask, dreading the answer. I know she paid for it, but I’m pretty sure I will lose my man card if something like this is in our house.

  “Only $3,500.00” She says coyly.

  “Only? What do you do that you can afford this?” I say laughing as Chip and I get the awkward ass thing in the bed of the truck. I could afford it but I would never buy it.

  “My daddy bought it as a cheer up gift for me and my new place, when I find one.” She grumbles in a whisper. Little does she know? She found one already, because she is never leaving me after last night.

  I notice Chip is standing there doing nothing after we have finished and Avalynn clears her throat. It dawns on me that the little shit wants a tip. Granted, that old piece of junk was heavy. Fishing out a twenty from my pocket, I shake his hand leaving the money behind as I squeeze his hand harder than I need too.

  “It’s not polite to stare at other people’s girls, Chippy. Don’t let me catch you again.” I warn him. It is Christmas time, after all. As I close the tailgate, I notice Avalynn’s eyes have grown wide and she isn’t moving over to the passenger door of the truck to open and climb in. Following her gaze, I notice that douche mobile is slowly driving by us. “Babe, do you know that dick?” I ask. She shakes her head “Who?” as she hops into the truck. Why the fuck did she just lie to me?

  WHAT THE HELL? AT FIRST I couldn’t get my mind to catch up to what my eyes were seeing. Jasper! It couldn’t be. What the heck would he be doing here? I tried to deny it at first, until I looked at the license plate. There is no mistaking a license plate that says ‘Romeo1’. He is such a prick. But I still can’t figure out what he would be doing in Moosehead. As far as I know he has no family here. And if he has no family here, then that means he is here for me. But how did he know where I was? As soon as the thought crossed my mind, I knew, Mom. She is so obsessed with me marrying him for the status she would totally tell him where I am in hopes that I would go back with him. Damn it.

  Ham’s voice brings me out of my stupor. “Babe, do you know that dick?” Oh no. I know I need to tell him the truth, but before I can form the words, the lie slips passed me. “Who?”

  Did I really just say that? I know he didn’t buy that for one second, but at this point, plausible deniability is my only option. I mean seriously. No one in this town pays enough attention to know I am here, and it’s been less than 48 hours. The chances of him finding me are slim to…oh crap. Nana!! I have to get to Nana and tell her not tell that asshole anything. I don’t actually think she will, but she is always a wild card so I never know. Oh boy. That means I have to actually say something to Ham. Here goes.

  “Ham.” He is pissed. He won’t look or answer me as he drives the car down the road. “Ham. I need you to take me to Nana’s. I need to talk to her. Ok?” I wish I could stop fidgeting with my hands in my lap, because that just screams guilt, and I really do feel guilty.

  “Does what you got to talk to your grandma about got anything to do with the douche in the Corvette?” he asks, and though it is phrased as a question, I can read between the lines. What he is asking me to do is fess up to the lie so we can move forward. I want to, I really do especially after last night; but it is still raw what Jasper did to me, and it makes me want to cry. Instead, I look out the window and say nothing, acting like the coward I am when I ran away instead of facing the humiliation.

  “You goanna answer me girl? I saw your face back there and though you brushed it off like I’m a moron or something, clearly seeing that car shook you for a second. After what we shared last night, and this morning, I would hope you would know you could talk to me about anything. But what I won’t do Avalynn, is be with someone who would lie to me as it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. So, I am only going to ask one more time. Do you know the guy that drives that tiny dick mobile?”

  I feel a tear escape my eye before I can stop it, and the next thing I know we are pulled over on the side of the road. Ham reaches for me, sits me in his lap, and rubs my back while I weep into his shirt. I hate this. I should be happy, basking in the afterglow of what we shared. Instead, I am once again surrounded by my own self-pity and shame when I did nothing wrong. The man holding me in his arms does not deserve this. He definitely deserves better. This is why I didn’t want to start something right now because I am not equipped to handle a relationship.

  “Baby girl, talk to me. What is going on? Whatever it is, it can’t be bad enough for you shut me out like this.”

  “Ham I just…I can’t. It is too painful to talk about again and knowing he is here means my mom wants us back together. Otherwise, he wouldn’t know where I had gone.”

  “Fuck no!! That is the idiot who broke your heart and you think I’m going to let you go back to him. Well fuck that!! Fuck him, your mom, and face anyone else who tries to stand between us. Look at me baby.”

  I raise my head to look in his eyes. The fierce determination I see there, causes me to exhale deeply and I feel faint. Knowing this beautiful creature feels so much for me that he is willing to stand in the way of all obstacles makes me feel warm, protected, and needed.

  I must have moaned because Ham says, “Not here greedy girl. You said you needed to talk to your grandma so we stop there first. Then I take you home and have dessert. Now give me your lips.”

  Earth shattering is the kiss he lays on me. It’s wet, demanding, and consuming. It is exactly what I need.

  FUCK THIS DICK! WHO THE fuck does he think he is riding around my town, pissing me off? He’s got my girl still crying over his ass. When I pull away from her mouth, she whimpers.

  “Babe, let’s get you over to your gr
andmother’s” My cock is hard as a rock and seeking her pussy as she sits on my lap. I know that makes me a bastard, given her tears; but with her sexy little body on mine there is only so much I can do.

  “I’m sorry I lied, Ham. I swear to you I am not a liar by nature.” She says as she crawls back over the console.

  Once she is buckled in, I pull back onto the road. “It’s ok, babe. Do not let it happen again,” I say laughing, but also with a serious tone. She gives me smile as her hand reaches for mine over the console.

  After we reach her grandmother’s house and she heads inside, I get out of the truck and hang back to call my brothers Jace and Sterling. They promise to be right over. When they get do get here I see Max, who I was not expecting to see come with them. I give Jace and Sterling a quick hug, but Max and I awkwardly shake hands.

  Greta and Avalynn must have heard the car doors shutting and decided to come out the screen door and stand on the porch. “What do we have here?” Greta says. “Hi boys, I have bloody Mary’s ready to go, and I think we are going to need them.”

  “Avalynn, babe, you know Jace. These other two are my other brothers Sterling and Max,” I say. She comes forward to shake their hands.

  “Nice to meet you guys. Nana, is Max the one you were telling me about?”

  “Yes girl. What are you doing? Don’tcha knows secrets are told that way for a reason.”

  “I do” she says with raised eyebrows. “But this one is a festering wound and needs cleaned.” Avalynn says as she pulls Max into a hug.

  I have to keep my growl in check, give her the benefit of the doubt, and remember she isn’t Elizabeth. Max looks at me over her shoulder and I shrug, giving him the all clear. He finally hugs her back. She whispers something in his ear, giving his eyes a life in them I haven’t seen in years. After he releases her, he turns and comes over to pull me into a hug.

  “I am sorry brother. I can only say I was blinded by pussy.” He says when Greta clears her throat loudly, “sorry Greta, but it’s the truth and I was an asshole.”

  “It was never you I was upset with Max. You have to know that. Three years is a long time to not speak to your baby brother on a daily basis. I was over it pretty quickly and waiting for you to catch up.” Avalynn stood off to the side until Max made his way into Greta’s house.

  “What did you say to him Avalynn?” I ask as she grabs my hand and pulls me up the front steps.

  “Never you mind, Ham. It’s what he needed to hear, and that is a secret I will keep.” I bust out laughing.

  “Oh shit, Avalynn. I love you.” I say. It was too soon to say but fuck, I meant it. Now it’s out there and I can’t take it back. I decide to own that shit.

  “I love you too, Ham.” She says it automatically as if she’s always been saying it. One more layer of my frozen heart has melted. She fucking owns me, and it makes me realize I am putting an ugly ass chaise lounge at the foot of our bed.

  The inside of Greta’s house is a bit of a time warp. I should offer to spruce the place up for her, but I know she likes it just how her late husband left it. I see that my brothers have made themselves at home on her super pink sofa and drinking Bloody Marys. Parking my ass in a big brown recliner, I pull Avalynn onto my lap. “What I don’t understand is why he is here?” Avalynn says.

  “He, Who?” Max asks with a mouth full of celery.

  “My douchey, ex. Jasper. Only my mama would tell him where I am because she is diabolical. He cheated on me and that is something I will never abide by again. I told him to eat shit and die, but he apparently didn’t get the memo.”

  “So are we kicking his ass out of town?” Sterling asks.

  I say “yes” at the same time Avalynn says “no.”

  “What?” I say incredulously.

  “No. We can’t do that because his father is a senator. Kicking his ass would be a mistake.” She says.

  “A Senator?” I ask. How can I compete with that type of family structure? I am only a construction worker and Avalynn deserves the best. It is not him since he is a piece of shit, but still.

  “Yes, in Florida he has a lot of pull. I wouldn’t want to stir that pot because he gets away with everything. I didn’t see it first, but boy do I now. He fucked all my friends and it was too much for me to handle.”

  “So you don’t want him back?” I ask, rubbing circles on her knee with my fingertips.

  “Fuck no! I love you. I know we only met yesterday, and we have a lot to learn about each other, but you are it for me.”

  “Thank fuck.” I say, pulling her down to my face and kissing her gently.

  “So what are we goanna do?” Greta asks, causing me to break the kiss.

  “I am going to talk to him and see what he wants.”

  “Which, you are not giving him and I’ll be going with you.”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea. He might get the wrong idea.”

  “What idea would that be? That you are mine, because you are.”

  “I know, but I don’t want him to feel like we are attacking him.”

  “Fuck him. He is a dick.”

  “I know, and it shouldn’t take too long. You can wait outside for me.”

  “Fine, I want to go on record that I am not happy about it though.”

  “Noted,” She says as she kisses me.

  “There is only the one hotel here giving the odds that is where he is.” Greta says.

  “You are probably right. Do you want to get this shit over with now?”

  “Yes the sooner the better. I am starving.”

  “I wonder why,” I whisper into her ear as she lightly giggles.

  “We should load up in Sterling’s SUV and then grab dinner after.” Max says.

  “It sounds good.” She gets off my lap and hugs her grandmother.

  “Are you coming Nana?”

  “Hell yes. I wouldn’t miss this shit show for the world. Let me get my purse.”

  We all laugh and head out to the car. This should be interesting I think to myself as I climb in the back next to Avalynn, who has chosen the middle. I hold her hand while Sterling drives to Moosehead Lodge. As I watch her get out, I get another bad feeling.

  THIS IS NOT GOING TO go well, is all I keep thinking. It’s going to be one huge cluster fuck with all these people here. I wish Ham had let me come by myself. I understand why he didn’t, but I seriously can handle Jasper. Don’t get me wrong, I know Ham can handle Jasper. He can be a major prick and having Ham with me is going to get his hackles rising.

  “Ham. Please reconsider. All I am going to do is go in and see what he wants, then put an end to it once and for all then walk out. There is literally no reason for you to go with me. I only want this over with as quiet as possible and to move on with my life. Pleeeeease Hammie.”

  Right then I realize what I said, and can already hear his brother’s starting to snicker. “Hammie. Oh shit. Yeah bro, she has got you by the balls if you let her call you Hammie. Hahahaha…wait till I tell mama…can I serve you your balls with a side of ham as well…Hammie?”

  Sterling is a real ass, but I have to say that was funny as hell. I didn’t even know I was laughing until I feel Ham start to tickle my side. “You think that’s funny do you little miss. Huh? Huh?” I am laughing so hard the tears are pouring down my face. But just as quickly as the laughing starts, it turns into need when he says, “Let’s see how funny it is when your mouth is stuffed full of this Ham. Christmas dinner isn’t got nothing on what’s inside these pants, baby. Just wait till we get you home.”

  Holy hot sauce! Now I just want to turn the car around so he can make good on his promise. I thought I was being smart wearing sweatpants, but the joke’s on me because now I have a thick wet fabric between my legs. Ham cuts the moan coming out of my mouth off with a kiss. It is a kiss that tells me, I am his. It’s not like I need reminding.

  “Ok, Ava. I will give you 5 minutes. If you take a second longer than five minutes, I’m coming in. You got it?�
�� Still in my Ham fog, I look in his eyes. The love and possessiveness I see steals my breath. How’s it possible someone I literally just met can look at me like I am the very reason he has life? Sensing my thoughts he says to me, “I know baby. I feel it too. Let’s take care of this, so we can take care of forever. Now, give me your mouth.”

  If it wasn’t for the clearing of the throat and the smart ass comment from Max, I would have totally forgotten that we were surrounded by other people. That man takes all of my brain cells and destroys them.

  “Don’t worry your little scrawny ass Hammond. I’m going in there with my girl. That beach boy isn’t goanna get her.” Oh lord. The last thing we need is that old wild card coming in the room.

  “Nana, I don’t think that is a good idea. I can handle this. I definitely don’t need your version of nice old lady.” and I give her a look.

  Rolling her eyes at me she says, “Never, you mind child. I earned my right to do as I wish, and I wish to look at this crotch monkey and see what you were going to give your virtue to.”

  “My virtue…Nana…” Oh lawd give me strength. “Nana, please wait with Ham. If he comes in, then you come in. Ok?” I knew I won when she grumbled something about stubborn and taking a switch off a tree, as if I wasn’t grown. I love her.

  I look around and see we have arrived. I hop out before I lose my nerve. I turn to Ham, lift onto my toes and say, “I will be right back.” Giving him a short kiss filled with promise, I nonetheless go into the hotel.

  I am quite impressed as I look around. For being a small town, the inside of the Moosehead Lodge is beautiful. The chandeliers are huge with moose horn built into the frame, making it look like the horns are holding floating candles. Though the whole vibe of the place is very outdoorsy and such, you can tell someone took great care in decorating it.

  Walking to the front desk, I can see the attendant is on the phone. I continue to look around and wonder who outfitted the place. Whoever did has great taste. As I’m about to ask the person at the desk for the room number to Jasper I hear a voice I never wanted to hear again saying, “There you are. I was wondering how long it was going to take you to come to me.”