Sarah Millican--The Queen of Comedy

by Tina Campanella

  She left property guru Kirstie Allsop speechless when she questioned the nature of her relationship with co-host Phil Spencer – ‘Everybody thinks they are a couple, so I asked if she had ever thought, “F**k it, I’ll have a go on it?” She sort of implied that it had crossed her mind…’

  In the episode Crime and Medical, Crimewatch’s Rav Wilding taught Sarah how to use different things in her handbag as weapons. ‘It was funny, but also useful. If you’ve got experts on, you might as well get a bit of useful information out of them as well as taking the mick.’

  Which is exactly what she did with Embarrassing Bodies host, Dr Pixie McKenna, when she got her to try and explain some x-rays for the audience. Alongside the usual keys and bullets, Dr Pixie was shocked when she was shown an x-ray that showed a Buzz Lightyear doll, stuck up a man’s bottom. ‘I’m sure, it wasn’t a Woody,’ Sarah joked, leaving the good doctor speechless.

  She was remarkably relaxed on each episode, considering it was her first time hosting a show. But she admitted it helped to have the audience there. She told The Telegraph: ‘I think it’s just the place I feel most at home and I understand that’s a really odd thing to say. It’s still nerve-racking, still terrifying for the first few minutes until I get a few big laughs under my belt, but then, I’m much more relaxed than I am off-stage. I love talking to the audience, because those are the bits that make me feel alive, like a proper comedian as opposed to a funny writer.’

  It also helped to have her Dad appear each week. ‘It’s the most relaxed part of the show, as I know he’s got my back,’ she told The Sun. ‘It’s like a tea break in the middle of a panic. I know that he is funny, so he can hold the fort for a couple of minutes while I relax. When you’ve had a proper job in an industry where it can be dangerous, like down the pit, you don’t think being on telly is scary.’

  The resulting viewing figures were impressive, with Sarah (and her dad) averaging an audience of just over 1.75 million viewers per episode.

  Critics were positive. One stated that Philip was definitely a bonus on the show and observed that they must be the first father and daughter comedy act in television history. Lucy Mangan, writing for The Guardian, said: ‘I laughed many times during The Sarah Millican Television Programme. At first glance, Millican’s is a warm, unthreatening world of gentle comedy about nanas, nighties and nature programmes but, in fact, she’s an iron fist in a Marigold glove. Her deadpan asides and sudden glances to camera have a touch of Eric Morecambe and her sudden shut-downs… are things of simple beauty impossible to reproduce in print.’ Lucy went on to claim she thought the format wasn’t quite right yet, but: ‘Once it is, hopefully television will become Millican’s world and we can live in it.’

  Bernadette McNulty wrote a review of the show in The Telegraph that summed Sarah up perfectly: ‘Sarah Millican belongs to the new breed of comedians who come across as reasonably sane. By laughing at her you don’t feel like you are funding any dangerous manias, personality imbalances or drink and drug problems as you do with many compulsive jokers.

  ‘She looks like your sweet friend who has an immaculate home and always brushes her hair, but gets the laughs coming when she opens her mouth and, in that sing-song South Shields accent, says something unequivocally filthy.

  ‘Tellingly, the guests sit behind a desk while Millican nestles among Orla Kiely cushions. But there’s nothing soft about her. She’s also not above a bit of gurning at the camera in the great tradition of Les Dawson. All these are hopeful signs she may not be a one-joke pony.’

  Almost immediately after the first series ended, BBC2 commissioned work to begin on a second. Sarah took to Twitter to share the news, saying: ‘Thrilled to report that The Sarah Millican Television Programme will be back for a second series.*runs around clapping and jumping*’.

  She quickly released a formal statement to the media, detailing how much she had enjoyed the first series and saying that she couldn’t wait to get cracking on the second, which would be broadcast in January 2013.

  Everyone wanted to know whether Philip would be returning to the show, as he had collected quite a fan base following his string of appearances. ‘People are constantly asking me if my dad is coming back on the next series – he is,’ she told The Mirror. ‘Before we had even told him… he had bought new shirts. Then he rang and said, “I’m not saying I want to do it, but if you want me, I’ve got me shirts.”’

  The show was the success that Sarah had hoped it would be and she promptly went on holiday to celebrate. In April, she travelled with a group of friends to the lakes in Cumbria, where she stayed in a cosy cottage.

  It’s actually something she admits she does regularly. ‘I spend such a lot of time touring,’ she says. ‘So every few months I try to get away for a few days with a couple of girlfriends who are also comedians. After so many nights in hotels, a holiday is about being able to get up in the middle of the night and make some toast.’

  A month later she decided to go further afield – this time with her big sister to New York. Sarah was grateful when Victoria took control of the overseas holiday. ‘She took my passport and kept it safe,’ she told The Sunday Times. ‘It was like being a child again. Our day would begin when she knocked on my door and said, “You look comfy”. I don’t always get when people are being complimentary, but I know that “comfy” is not a compliment. Apart from that she was a good travel companion.’

  Sarah was a definite ‘dodgem’ on the trip. ‘I have this image of myself as someone who shuns all those touristy things and ventures off the beaten track,’ she explained. ‘With this in mind, I saw lots of shows, went up the Empire State Building and did the open-top bus tour. That’s how adventurous I actually am.’

  When she returned, she announced that she had been offered yet more work – this time as a TV columnist for the Radio Times. Editor Ben Preston was thrilled to have her on his team. ‘Sarah is that rare thing, a comedian who is genuinely warm and optimistic about life, wonderfully funny and a gifted writer. And she knows – and loves – her telly, too.’

  By now her workload must have been gruelling, but her ambition – and ultimately her capability at handling it all – was no surprise. Sarah had always been a hard worker, and now she was at the top, she knew she had to keep working hard to stay there. Even if it meant she would be writing a TV show, filming, touring and now penning a column, all at the same time.

  Nonetheless, it must have been both a relief and a disappointment not to be appearing at Edinburgh in the summer. It meant that Sarah could truly enjoy the experience, and she made the most of it by going to see a wide range of shows, including those of her friends Joe Lycett, Juliet Meyers and Sally-Anne Hayward.

  In October, Sarah announced that a recording of her Thoroughly Modern Millican tour – which took in a collective audience of over 200,000 – would be released as a DVD in time for Christmas. Sarah loved the idea that a lot of her new fans would have only seen her toned-down TV persona, and would be unprepared for her much naughtier stage act. ‘People will think, “Oh, we’ll put it on after Christmas dinner with Nana and the bairns”,’ she said. ‘Then they’ll put it on and very quickly pause it and put the bairns to bed so they can watch it with Nana who, let’s face it, knows exactly what I’m talking about.’

  As 2012 drew to a close, Sarah had a lot to be happy about. With her best-selling DVD, a record-breaking tour and countless popular TV show appearances, she had everything she’d ever hoped for and so much more. She had even just bought her first house, and had moved Chief Brody in just in time for Christmas.

  2013 was destined to be another very good year.

  CHAPTER 25

  Comedy Gold

  ‘It’s always nice when you work hard and it pays off. It hasn’t really changed me, it hasn’t really changed my life very much.’

  The year 2012 was a year like no other for British comedians. It smashed records that in years gone by would have seemed inconceivable.

  During t
hat year it was revealed that Michael McIntyre, who only six years before had been £30,000 in debt, was the biggest-selling comic in the world. Suddenly, a Brit who told jokes for a living was earning mega bucks, outstripping even the Americans. His ticket sales from his UK gigs in 2012 equated to £21 million worth – just £1 million less than the Rolling Stones, and they had embarked on a worldwide tour. His earnings were only beaten by those of the biggest names in music in the world – Madonna and Bruce Springsteen among others.

  It was unprecedented that a Brit who made their living from standing on stage and telling jokes was doing so well. Headlines that had started appearing a few years before, said it all – Stand-up Comedy was the new Rock ‘n’ Roll.

  Michael’s success did not come out of the blue. Comedians had been steadily seeing more and more success during the previous couple of years. In the 2011 figures of earnings in the entertainment industry, McIntyre was up there, but he was far from alone in earning the kind of money that most people only dream of.

  In 2011, the highest-earning comic was Peter Kay, who raked in more than £20 million from ticket sales and DVDs. Also in that year, there was a surprise addition to the top 10 highest paid gag tellers – a woman. At number six was Sarah Millican, the first time a woman was ever thought to have been in the top 10 British earners for comedy in recorded history.

  In 2011, according to The Sun, Sarah earned £1.46 million, just behind Russell Howard at £3.26 million, John Bishop at £4.98 million, Alan Carr at £5.99 million and Lee Evans at £12.9 million, as well as Peter Kay.

  She might have had some way to go before she earned the same as Kay and Michael McIntyre, but her figures for 2012 were expected to be even higher. She is living in an age in which comedy gold is exactly that; an age in which, if you can make enough people laugh, you are made for life. An idea that up until recently would have been so unbelievable, it would have sent the comedians of yesteryear to the funny farm.

  It is not the first time that comedy has been massive – the sort of draw that has them packing in the stands at venues around the country. As far back as the 1930s, comedians like Max Miller were huge.

  The reason many people believe it happened then and it’s happening now is because when times are tough – as they are in a recession – people turn to something that makes them feel better, and there is nothing better than making people laugh to cheer them up when they are down.

  According to psychologists, it is a natural reaction to our need to cope with life when it gets difficult. Media expert Dr Matt Kerry told The Sun: ‘When life is grim, we need back-to-basics comedy. The best humour is directed at the self. It’s an acknowledgment of your own misery… but you’re laughing at it!’

  Max Miller was just one of dozens of acts which filled the theatres of the 1930s when the dole queues stretched round the block following the Wall Street Crash and the onset of the depression. At times in the 30s, the unemployment rate in parts of Britain was at 45 per cent.

  But, conversely, the queues didn’t just stretch round the outside of the dole office; they stretched round the theatres. Many people paid over what little they earned for a chance to watch as their so-called betters, the upper classes, being lampooned for getting them in the mess they found themselves in. They couldn’t actually do anything to them, so they paid to watch others making fun of the hooray Henrys and the Bertie Woosters of the world around them who it appeared were responsible for causing their economic woes.

  But then, unlike now, Max was one of the few who ended what had been a successful stage career well. Others who had also been massive during the years of plenty, when people had been clamouring to see them perform, ended their days in poverty, the few fat years failing to make up for the many leans ones later.

  One act which was highly successful in the music hall era of the 1930s and early 1950s was a duo called The Western Brothers, who had audiences rolling in the aisles with their impressions of a parade of posh men. Theatregoers who went to see them couldn’t stop laughing at their impressions of the upper classes, the ones they felt were at fault for the state of the country. It didn’t last. The Western Brothers both died in relative poverty, one spending his final six years running a kiosk at Weybridge station.

  When the next major recession happened, in the 1970s, comedy again hit highs it hadn’t seen in years. The audiences for TV shows featuring Morecambe and Wise and the Two Ronnies were again testimony to the fact that people in economic down times are looking to have a laugh.

  At that time, a handful of top comics became millionaires thanks to the power of television, but very few made enough to retire as happy as their acts made those who came to watch them.

  Fast-forward another 30 years to the worst recession since the end of World War Two. When everyone else is having difficulty making ends meet, the top comics in the land are raking it in like never before; and this time, unlike in the 1930s or even the 1970s, they are making so much, many of them could retire tomorrow.

  For stand-up comedians, the figures are mind-blowing. During his 2012 Showtime! tour, Michael McIntyre sold 600,000 seats at his 71 venues, with 10 sold-out nights at the gigantic O2 Arena in London’s Docklands. Along with McIntyre in the comedy gallery of stellar earners of the last few years were also Ricky Gervais, who was paid so much he ended up in the Sunday Times Rich List with an estimated fortune of £35 million, Rowan Atkinson, who still rakes in money annually from the Mr Bean franchise to add to his £71 million fortune, and Peter Kay, whose amazing annual earnings also put him in the list at £40 million.

  Less stellar, but still with stratospheric earning power, according to The Sun, were Steve Coogan, who made £5 million in 2010; Jimmy Carr, who also earned £5 million; Frankie Boyle (£4.5 million); Russell Brand (£4 million) and Eddie Izzard (£4 million).

  In 2010, when these men were earning amazing amounts and the recession was in full swing, 24 comedians earned more than £1 million a year. The highest-paid female comic was Jenny Éclair at £600,000. In that year, Sarah Millican earned £250,000.

  Many would say they deserve it. It takes many years of hard graft, trawling up and down the country, staying in miserable hotels or hostels, earning pennies, if anything, by performing in dingy pub back rooms, before most comedians get anywhere, assuming they actually do.

  The average amount paid to a stand-up comic who isn’t doing an arena tour or putting out a DVD is about £100 a gig. Many when they are starting out work for free. Even if they are successful enough to manage a headline tour, most would be lucky if they make more than about £40,000 a year.

  The line between getting by and earning huge amounts is a fine one. It is one that many comedians feel they have a right to exploit when the opportunity comes along, as, in the past, history has shown how easy it can be for it all to slip away. But it was also this issue that led Sarah to sail closest to the sort of PR disaster that has got some other high-earning comedians badly stung.

  After watching one of Sarah’s gigs in Wolverhampton, a fan posted on her Facebook page that she had really enjoyed the show and if Sarah wanted to know which one she was, she said she was the one in the front row who had been videoing it.

  Sarah was horrified that material people had to pay to see could end up on Youtube or somewhere else. She promptly responded by accusing the fan of theft and told her that if she was going to be so ‘disrespectful’, she was not going to be welcome at her gigs in future.

  The subsequent row that erupted in response to her comments ended up in the newspapers and led to her being branded disrespectful herself for ‘bad-mouthing’ those who ‘enabled’ her ‘to lead the life’ she lived.

  In the end, apart from upsetting a few fans, she largely escaped major harm to her name. Most people appreciate that comedians have to safeguard their routines if they are to continue to make a living.

  The huge amounts that many comedians earn, however, is leaving them increasingly open to attack. In 2012, one of the mega earners, Jimmy Carr,
was forced to backtrack after it emerged that most of his annual earnings was funnelled through a tax avoidance scheme designed to prevent him and others from paying most of it to the Inland Revenue’s replacement HMRC.

  It was a hot issue, as within the deepest moments of the downturn, the chief secretary to the Treasury, Danny Alexander, had branded tax avoiders lower than the worst kind of benefit scroungers. After it emerged that Carr was paying less than one per cent on his earnings, he was forced into making a grovelling apology.

  It wasn’t over then either, as his participation was mentioned every time the company that had set up the scheme cropped up in the news thereafter. It might not have mattered if he hadn’t had a pop at tax avoiders Barclays a few months before, but he had. It was a case of those who make jokes at others expense, shouldn’t be caught doing what they were making jokes about. It throws into perspective the difficulty comedians have of remaining relevant enough to continue being funny, yet taking advantage of the good times to make sure that they don’t end up running a kiosk in Weybridge.

  There are some who believe that all this success is a sign that a bubble is about to burst; that the good times are about to come to an end. Part of the justification for that belief stems from one of the things that has driven the rise of stand-up comedy in the last 10 years and put the comedians on the pedestal they now balance precariously on – the panel show.

  After Edinburgh, the chance to appear on a panel show has for the last 15 years been the golden ticket to a comedian’s success. Starting with shows like Whose Line Is It Anyway, Have I Got News For You and They Think It’s All Over in the 1990s, dozens of comedians have been able make the move from stand-up in pubs, clubs and theatres to the mass market of television by appearing on such shows.