Live the Dream

by Josephine Cox

  Amy had to ponder that one, but not for too long. 'I like him a lot,' she answered, 'but I'm not sure if I love him at least not in the way you seem to love Roy.'

  Daisy persisted. 'Does he make you laugh?'

  'Sometimes.'

  'Well then, yer halfway there, lass.' Daisy gave her a knowing nudge. 'You like him a lot. He makes you laugh. So, does he make you shiver when he kisses you?'

  Amy blushed. 'Don't be so nosy.'

  Undeterred, Daisy lowered her voice to a whisper. 'Have you two done it yet?' she asked shamelessly.

  Amy shook her head. 'If we had I don't know as I would tell you, but we haven't.' She gave her a sideways smile. 'Sorry to disappoint you.'

  'Bloody hell, lass! Yer do fancy him don't yer?'

  'Of course. He's good-looking, I like him a lot, and he's probably everything I could want in a man.'

  'So, why haven't yer done it yet then?'

  Now, when Amy compared herself and Jack with Daisy and Roy, the answer presented itself. 'I'm not headstrong like you, Daisy. I can't go diving into things without working out the consequences. Besides, Jack is different from Roy.'

  'I know what you mean about me diving in headfirst,' Daisy agreed, 'because that's the way I've allus-been. But I'm not sure what you mean about Jack being different from Roy.'

  Amy attempted to explain. 'The way I see it, Roy is much like you. You're like two sides of the same coin—lighthearted and game for anything. You seem to see life like a roller-coaster, up one minute and down the next, and you don't care what tomorrow might bring. Am I right?'

  Daisy laughed. 'You know us only too well, love,' she' laughed. 'Live for today and let tomorrow tek care of itself, that's us.'

  'Jack's a bit like me,' Amy went on. 'More cautious about life. I've been hurt once and I'm always afraid it might happen again. Oh, I know Jack would take care of me, and I'm sure he would make the best husband in the world, but I'm not sure I'm ready for all that serious stuff yet. I'm not even sure Jack is either.' And flitting through her mind numerous times every day was the look on Luke Hammond's face when he had taken her in his arms and bent to kiss her.

  Daisy disagreed. 'I've seen you and Jack together,' she said, 'and you look like a good pair to me. It's clear he loves you, and from what you've just said, you've been eyeing him up as a possible husband. The truth is, I expect you've put him off, with your worries and your hesitating.'

  Amy could not deny it. 'The truth is, I don't want to go rushing in, and then it all go wrong, like before.'

  Suspecting that Amy might never find the courage to let herself love again, Daisy let her impatience show. 'Look 'ere, lass! It's time you forgot about what Don Carson did to you. For God's sake, if you don't let it go once and for all, it could bugger up your future for ever.'

  'It won't,' Amy replied confidently.

  All the same, her confidence in men had been wrecked since Don had deserted her like that. She had put the hurt behind her, and now felt indifference to the man, but even now, after all this time, there were still periods of panic, when she was haunted by the fear of being rejected.

  'You do like Jack, though, don't yer?' Once Daisy got her teeth into something she wouldn't let it go.

  Amy groaned. 'I've said so, haven't I?'

  'Has he asked you to marry him yet?'

  'No…' Though there had been times when she had sensed him on the verge of asking her.

  Encouraged, Daisy had a word of advice. 'If he does pluck up the courage to ask you, say yes.' She laughingly gave Amy a shove. 'Just think, lass, we could have a double wedding.'

  As they turned the corner and saw the two young men waiting outside the Roxy, Daisy pointed out, 'Look at the way he's reaching his neck to see you.'

  Waving to them she cunningly changed the subject to impart a snippet of information that she knew would shock Amy, yet give her little time to react. 'By the way, I've been sacked,' she announced casually. 'I did a silly thing. I told Ma Tooley exactly where she could put her bleedin' toaster and she finished me on the spot. So now I need a job, or I'll never be able to save for a deposit.'

  'Oh, Daisy!' Amy's heart fell a mile. 'What am I gonna do with you, eh?'

  Daisy had already thought of a solution. 'If yer want to help, yer can ask your Jack to give me a job at Hammonds.'

  With that idea firmly implanted in Amy's mind, she skipped on ahead where, flinging her arms round Roy's neck, she greeted him in her usual cavalier fashion. 'Hello, handsome. Been waiting long, 'ave yer?'

  Roy kissed her full on the mouth. 'I'd wait for ever if you asked me,' he said, and holding hands they went ahead towards the foyer.

  Behind them, Jack took Amy's hands into his and, looking into her upturned face, he told her softly, 'It's good to see you, Amy.'

  With Daisy's words about putting him off still large in her mind, Amy found a boldness she didn't even know she had. 'Aren't you going to kiss me?' she asked, her heart going fifteen to the dozen.

  His slow, searching smile betrayed the love he had for her. 'I thought you'd never ask; he whispered. Another precious moment of looking into her eyes, then, with his two hands cupping her face, he bent his head to hers.

  Pressing his lips over her part-opened mouth, he kissed her with such intensity that she could hardly breathe.

  'We don't have to go into the pictures,' he suggested hopefully. 'I mean…if you want to go somewhere else?'

  Amy knew what he was meaning, and she was not ready for that. 'We'd best go after them; she suggested. 'We can't just run off; they're bound to wonder where we've gone.'

  Jack held her for a while, thinking how he so much wanted to sweep her away and keep her all to himself. He wanted to ask her to marry him and be with her for ever. But he sensed her nervousness and, taking her by the hand, walked her towards the other two, who ^ere now waiting for them. 'Another time, eh?' he murmured, and when Amy gently squeezed his hand, he took that to mean yes.

  Some two hours later, when they emerged from the cinema, Amy could hardly recall what The Squaw Man was all about. She remembered there were cowboys and Indians, but if anyone had asked her to describe the plot she would not have been able to answer, because all evening her mind had been on Luke and Jack, and whether one day she might find the trust and courage to let herself love again.

  On the way to the hot-pie barrow, Roy and Daisy walked ahead, arms round each other and so much in love, while Jack and Amy followed on behind, hand in hand, each filled with a measure of contentment.

  'Can I ask you something?' Amy had not forgotten Daisy's dilemma.

  'You can ask me whatever you want, sweetheart.' Hoping it was to do with himself and Amy and their future together, Jack drew them to a halt.

  His hopes were quickly dashed when Amy began, 'It's to do with Daisy. It seems she got hot-headed with Mrs Tooley. The upshot of it is that Daisy has lost her job, and she was wondering if you might be able to find her something at Hammonds?'

  Saying the name made her feel slightly breathless.

  Disappointed, Jack assessed the possibilities. 'I can't altogether promise, but I've got one lady leaving this week, so there's a chance I might be able to fit Daisy in—providing she doesn't mind standing at a machine, packing bristles into wooden bases for hours on end?'

  Amy was thrilled. 'Oh, Jack, that would be great. I'm sure she wouldn't mind one bit.' They resumed walking. 'You see, she's not getting on too well with her parents and she's desperately trying to save enough money for a deposit to rent a place of her own. I've asked her to move in with us at home, but she refused.' Her affection for Daisy spilled over. 'She's headstrong and independent, and sometimes I could throttle her, but if she sets her mind there's no changing it. Oh, Jack, if you could only get her a job at Hammonds, I know she'd work hard. You wouldn't regret it, I'm sure of that.'

  'As I said, I can't promise, but I'll see what I can do.'

  When they'd got to the pie stand and were all seated on the wall eating their pies, Jack
said, 'I'm told you're looking for work, Daisy?'

  Daisy's face lit up. 'Oh, I am!' she declared, 'I am!'

  'I've promised Amy I'll see what I can do to get you in at Hammonds.'

  'Yer not having me on, are yer?' gasped Daisy. 'Is it true? Are you really gonna give me a job at Hammonds? Oh, wow! WOW!' And to the roars of laughter from the fat pieman, Daisy took up dancing on the spot.

  'Don't get too excited!' Jack was shouting. I can't promise,' but there was no stopping her now. Dropping the remains of her pie into the bin, she skipped off down the street, doing pirouettes and shouting to the world, 'To hell with old Tooley! She can stick her job up her arse.'

  When the excitement had died down, the four of them made their way to Corporation Park. As always, the park was closed through December, but Daisy and Amy knew that the side gate would be unlocked, as they had been through it many a time when lost for somewhere to go.

  'I'd like to be married in a long white dress with flowers in my hair and six bridesmaids following me into the church.' Daisy described it all in great detail. 'Afterwards, I want four children, two boys and two girls, and a house big enough for a couple of dogs to roam about.'

  Roy laughed at her enthusiasm. 'You don't want much, do yer?'

  At that she flung her arms round his neck. 'To tell you the truth, I just want you,' she said earnestly. 'The rest of it won't matter.'

  But it did, and Roy knew that. 'If you want a long white dress, flowers in your hair and a big house to live in, well then, I'll just 'ave to work twice as hard.' And the joy shining in her eyes was enough to spur him on.

  While Amy and Jack wandered off along the street, Daisy and Roy stayed on the wall, talking and laughing, kissing and canoodling.

  'Look at them two,'Jack said. 'They're like two lovebirds.'

  The sight of Daisy so happy brought a lump to Amy's throat. 'She deserves a chance at happiness. Ever since I've known her, it seems trouble and strife have just followed her about.'

  'Well, she seems happy with her lot now,' Jack observed, 'and if I can fix her up with a good job and a decent wage, you know I will.'

  'Do you really think they're right for each other, Jack?' Amy slid her arm through his. 'Only Daisy and men usually spell catastrophe.'

  Jack had no doubts at all. 'I've known Roy a while now,' he said, 'and I've never seen him so smitten. If you ask me, they were made for each other.' Reaching down, he kissed her on the top of her head. 'So you can stop worrying.'

  'HEY!' Roy's voice sailed through the night air. 'We'll see you two later.'

  As Jack and Amy turned, it was to see the other two running off like two playful children, Daisy in front and Roy chasing her across the street.

  'Where are you going?' Amy wanted to know.

  There was no answer; already they were out of earshot.

  'Leave them be, sweetheart. I expect they need to be on their own.' Sliding his arm round her shoulders, he led her onwards. 'At least it gives us a proper chance to talk.'

  'About what?' Amy had long suspected the depth of his feelings for her, and however much she tried not to, she found herself growing anxious. What if he asked her to marry him? Did she want to be his wife? Yet again, Luke entered her mind—was even the thought of Luke a betrayal of Jack?—and now Don, and once again she was reliving all the disappointments and heartache of rejection.

  Jack's voice whispered in her ear, 'Are you all right, sunshine? You've gone very quiet.'

  'I'm fine.' She smiled up at Jack and thought how fortunate she was, because he was a good man; a man any woman would give her right arm for, and yes, she did feel the stirrings of love for him.

  As they walked on, Jack talked of all his hopes and plans for the future, and before they knew it, they had left the centre of town and were making their way along beside the railings of Corporation Park.

  'Amy?'

  'Yes, Jack?' They stopped walking and leaned against the railings.

  'I so much want you to be a part of my future,' Jack murmured, sliding his arm round her waist, 'because now you've become more important than anything else. All the scrimping and saving. All those precious plans to build a business and be my own boss; to go from strength to strength until I'm the biggest employer in Blackburn…I never thought there could ever be anything more important than that.'

  Leaning closer, he followed the curve of her mouth with ~the tip of his finger. 'The truth is, Amy, it means nothing if I haven't got you to share it with me.'

  Placing his two hands on her shoulders, he gently drew her towards him, until her head was pressed close to his shoulder and his chin was resting against her hair. 'You know what I'm saying, don't you?' he whispered. 'Marry me, Amy? For pity's sake, marry me, before I go crazy.'

  Tearing herself away, Amy was utterly confused. She had not visualised being married to Jack—for the rest of her life. It was such a big thing to ask of anyone—the biggest commitment you could make. Don had not been the right man and this time they must both be sure.

  'Amy,' Jack persisted, 'will you say yes?' His tender voice murmured in her ear.

  What should she say? Did she want it to happen, or didn't she?

  Aware of her dilemma, Jack walked slowly on and took her with him. 'Think about it,' he suggested reluctantly. 'There's no hurry. I'd rather wait and get the right answer, than rush you and be turned down.'

  Feeling warm and secure in the crook of his arm, Amy hated herself for the coward she was. It was on the tip of her tongue to say she would marry him tomorrow, if that was what he wanted. But she had to be sure. Maybe he was right after all. Maybe she ought to give it a deal more thought before committing herself.

  All the same, she wanted to say yes. But fear got in the way. And Luke. And Don.

  In no time at all, they were at the top of the rise. From here, they could see the silhouette of the lake; all silvery and shifting in the moonlight. 'I love it here,' she murmured, looking up at him. 'When I was little, our dad used to bring me up here and we'd sit on the grass and have a picnic. Afterwards we'd feed the ducks and watch them fight over the crumbs, then we'd run down the hill, laughing and screeching, until we got to the gates, where we'd keel over, exhausted and breathless. Then he'd sit me on his shoulders and take me home, and our mam would have the Sunday roast all ready.'

  She laughed softly at the memories. 'Oh, Jack, it's so beautiful here.'

  'So are you,' he whispered, and before she could say anything, he had her in his arms and was kissing her passionately.

  She did not resist. Wrapped in his arms, all the fear and uncertainty didn't seem so daunting any more. Amy's doubts were not altogether gone, but she knew she had to conquer those doubts, or be alone for the rest of her life. 'I love you,' she murmured. 'I think I've known it all along.'

  He laughed out loud. 'So you'll be my wife, is that what you're saying, Amy, is it?'

  Amy's answer was to kiss him long and hard, and though she had not yet fully agreed to marriage, her ready kiss was taken as an acceptance.

  'We'll find Daisy and Roy!' Jack exclaimed excitedly. 'I want them to be the first to know.'

  'Aw, come on, Daisy!' Roy was getting more and more frustrated. They had walked slightly out of town and the streets were very quiet. Daisy, however, was adamant. 'I'm no alley- cat,' she retorted. 'I don't make love in the street, and that's that!'

  'Where then?'

  'Wherever you like, but not in the street.'

  'What about Hammonds factory?'

  Daisy chuckled. 'Heck! That might be a laugh.' Common sense prevailed. 'Best not,' she said. 'If we're caught, you'll get the sack.'

  Roy was adamant. 'We won't get caught, and besides, if Jack offers you work, it would be good for you to have given the place a once-over beforehand.'

  'I don't know about that. All I know is that we could get into a lot of trouble, breaking into the factory like that.'

  'We won't be breaking in,' Roy insisted, 'I know where there's a small window that's never
completely shut. Oh, come on, Daisy. I promise you, we'll be in and out of there before you know it, and nobody will be any the wiser.'

  'It's still breaking in, and it's against the law, or have you forgotten?'

  Determined to show off his place of work, and make love into the bargain, Roy was eager to persuade her. 'If you don't like the look of the place, you can tell Jack you've got a job somewhere else. That way he won't put his neck on the line for you, and you won't go to work on your first day all excited, only to be disappointed.'

  'Oh, all right then.' Daisy was always ready for the next adventure; all she needed was a bit of persuasion. 'You've twisted my arm, so let's do it!'

  A few minutes later, having successfully sneaked round the night-watchman, who was fast asleep in front of his cheery brazier, they crept along the back alley, over the low roof and in through the office window.

  'Drop down softly,' Roy warned. 'We don't want you falling into the waste bin, do we, eh?'

  Not too far away, there was another shadowy figure. Coming towards the factory by way of the canal, it hid for a time, knowing the night-watchman was on duty, and fearing to be seen.

  Staying in the shadows, it peered towards the one who kept guard. Seated like a gnome on his stool, with his cap drawn low over his eyes and the flames from the brazier cradling him in its warmth, the old one was in a deep, contented slumber.

  Reassured, the intruder ventured forward; in one hand it swung a length of rope. In the other it carried a can of fuel.

  Breathing fast, afraid to be discovered, the silent figure went softly past the old man, down along the side of that great, familiar building and now, at the back door, it slid the key into the lock, inched open the door and slipped inside.

  On the upper floor not too far away, Roy and Daisy had dropped to the ground without injury.

  'Bleedin' hell, Roy!' Hopping and groaning, Daisy scrambled up. 'You didn't tell me it was such a long drop!'

  Vigorously rubbing her ankle, she complained, 'I could have broken my leg, for all you care.'

  'Aw now, don't make such a fuss.' Roy slid his arm round her. 'I wouldn't let you get hurt. I'd rather break every bone in my body than see you break a leg,' he told her with a cheeky grin.