Live the Dream

by Josephine Cox

  In a moment Luke was on his feet. He dug some change out of his pocket, left it on the table and in two strides was beside Amy and escorting her back outside with his hand clutching her elbow.

  'What…?' she gasped, as he led her a few steps away down the street.

  'Amy, I'm so glad to see you,' Luke said, releasing her. 'Sorry to drag you out like that but I didn't want to embarrass you in the cafe, and maybe make your friend curious.'

  Amy saw the sense in this, and was, now she was with him, pleased at this excellent opportunity to make amends for her foolishness last week.

  'I'm so sorry-' she started. 'Amy, forgive me-' he began at the same time, and they each stopped and looked at the other and laughed.

  'You first,' said Luke.

  'I'm so sorry I got cross and spoiled everything last week after you were so kind to Johnny and me,' she said, looking him in the eye. Now she was with him her anxiety had evaporated. The gentle expression on his handsome face was making her apologising easier. She could see he was not angry now.

  'Dear Amy, please don't apologise. You were quite right. It was wrong of me to deceive you. I should have known you would never condone even an innocent deceit. I meant…' he looked down, suddenly struggling for the right words, '…when I invited you and Johnny to come to see the cabin I didn't want you to be put off if you knew who I was. And I suppose, in a way, I didn't really want to be Luke Hammond then. I just wanted to be someone you saw at the cafe, a man from Blackburn who lives in a cottage in the woods and wanted to show you and Johnny that cottage. Does that make sense to you?'

  Amy saw the truth of this in his anxious eyes. 'Of course,' she smiled. 'Let's just think it was a simple misunderstanding.'

  'Quite right,' Luke agreed eagerly, also smiling, 'and if you'd like to come out to the cabin again sometime-' he raised an eyebrow questioningly—'today, perhaps?—then I shall know I'm forgiven.'

  Suddenly Amy realised this was exactly what she had been hoping for but had hardly dared to think. He really was a very nice man—and rather a lonely one too. There was no doubt that he genuinely wanted her to accept this invitation.

  'Thank you,' she beamed. 'I'd love to come, but just for a little while or Mam will be worried.'

  'Is Johnny not with you?'

  Amy explained about his new job as Maureen's assistant and Luke laughed as he led her to the car. This time Amy sat in the front seat next to him.

  The journey, under winter sun, seemed to her shorter than before, and soon they were jolting up the final lane to the cabin. The little house in the woods really was exactly like something from a fairy tale, Amy thought, especially with the veranda.

  'Come in, come in. I'll make us some tea as you've missed your elevenses.' Luke unlocked the door and swung it wide to let her go before him.

  He lit the log fire, and they both went to collect water for the kettle.

  By the brook he pointed out a mistle thrush, the weight of red berries on a dark-leaved holly bush, and the patch that, in just two months, he'd expect to be covered in the first snowdrops. He knew how to share his enthusiasm for the countryside and for this particular place, and told a couple of stories about his childhood holidays here that made Amy laugh. By the time they had drunk their tea, Amy was thoroughly relaxed.

  They put on their coats again and went to sit on the veranda steps to see if Velvet would visit. Just when Amy, but not Luke, had almost given up hope, she appeared tentatively and walked slowly towards them. Amy saw how the little deer trusted Luke, and she was enchanted by it.

  So this is the real Luke Hammond, she thought, watching as Luke hand-fed the deer. This is the man with a good head for business, who employs so many people in Blackburn Dad, Jack and Roy included—and who has such a troubled life at home.

  How could she have thought there was anything odd in having the hideaway and anything other than a wish to be more a part of this other life in his reluctance to reveal who he really was?

  Velvet trotted away and Luke turned and smiled at Amy. It was a smile that lit his whole face and she could see that he was truly happy.

  'That was beautiful,' she said, recalling how the deer had fed so trustingly from his hand.

  'Beautiful,' he agreed, but it was her he was looking at. A moment passed between them and then Amy looked away. I have to go now,' she said.

  'Amy…not yet, please?'

  Something in the tremor of his voice, or it could have been the lonely look in his eyes, made her hesitate. Before she knew it he had wrapped his arms around her and the warmth of his body was pressing against her. At first his kiss was hesitant; then, when she did not reject him, his arms tightened about her and his lips were more demanding.

  Reaching up, she wound her arms round his neck, giving herself, wanting more than she should, but when the want grew to a desperate need she pushed him back.

  'No!'

  'Amy '

  'No, Luke, we mustn't…I can't. Please, you know it's wrong.'

  'No, Amy, it's not wrong. Don't you see -'

  'You're married!' She raised her voice and stepped away as he made to hold her again. Though her voice had broken on the words she knew she had to go on and say what she felt. 'You're a dear, kind man. I've had a lovely time today, but now I have to go home.'

  'But, Amy,' he took a step towards her and took her hands in his, 'here's where you belong. Here, with me.'

  'Luke, you know that can never be,' she said softly. 'You know…'

  Dejected, he swallowed and cleared his throat.

  'Yes, yes, of course. I'm sorry. It was stupid of me even to think…' He looked away, out to the woods. After a minute or two in which they both stood in silence, he turned back to Amy. 'Come on, let's get you back. Your friend Daisy will have missed you this morning, and I don't want you getting into trouble with your mam either.' He smiled a brave smile and hand in hand they walked back inside the cabin to make the fire safe before leaving.

  It was, Amy thought that night, lying in bed and reliving every moment, like the most wonderful dream—right up to the moment when she pulled away from the kiss.

  And a dream was what it must remain, she had told Luke gently as he'd driven her back to Blackburn. She would not go to the cottage again.

  She snuggled down in her bed, straightening her thoughts and her resolve. He was Luke Hammond, wealthy businessman, married to a wife who wasn't well. She was Amy Atkinson who worked in a corner shop. She must never again behave as if he wasn't married.

  Oh, but the kiss had been so tender, so loving…

  Amy chided herself, don't you start thinking of kissing Luke Hammond any more. It can lead nowhere except to unhappiness.

  Dim November ran into December and, to everyone's relief, the weather took a turn for the better. 'It's like a summer's day out there.' Ted Fogarty was crooked as an old bent tree and twice as gnarled. 'If I were thirty year younger, I'd be tekking you out on a picnic.' He winked at Amy, who laughed at his cheek.

  'If you were thirty years younger, I wouldn't even be born,' she said.

  'All right then,' he conceded, 'fifteen years.'

  'That's no good neither,' Amy teased, 'because fifteen years ago, I'd be about ten, and you'd be had up for child- snatching. '

  The old fella laughed out loud. I can see there's no winning with yer, so I'll be off.' With that he departed the shop, leaving Amy and Marie chuckling. 'I bet he were a randy old devil in his time,' Marie remarked.

  'Nice, though,' Amy said dreamily. 'I can imagine he were a real gentleman. I bet he treated his women like china dolls.'

  'Mebbe, but it wouldn't do for me,' Marie answered thoughtfully. 'I never did like a man who was afraid to be himself when he had a woman on his arm.' She straightened her shoulders and prepared herself for the next customer, who by now was approaching the door. 'I like to know that what I'm getting is the genuine article, warts and all.'

  She giggled like a schoolgirl. 'I remember the very night when I decided your father
were the one for me.' A wave of nostalgia brought a little smile to her homely face. 'We'd been to the pictures and were strolling home eating fish and chips. There'd been a terrible downpour and the streets were riddled with puddles. A horse and cart went by and splashed your father from head to toe. Before I could stop him, he were running up the street, shaking his fist at the driver and using language I'd never heard afore in my life. By! It was enough to mek your hair curl.'

  Amy was confused. 'And how did that make you decide to wed him?'

  'I knew straight off,' Marie declared indignantly. 'I mean, I wouldn't have liked it, if he'd just carried on eating his fish and chips as though nothing had happened, dripping wet and silently fuming yet saying nothing, just 'cos I were there.'

  Stretching herself to full height, she went on. 'He were angry and he let it be known. After he'd stopped the cart and given the driver a piece of his mind, he came back to me and apologised for the language. I forgave him there and then, took him home and lent him a set of my father's clothes. From that day on we never looked back. Y'see, lass, I knew what I were getting with your father, and I liked the fire in him.'

  Amy understood. Honesty and trust were vital to a relationship. Luke's handsome face leaped into Amy's mind, as it had done many times in the month since she'd been to the cabin. As long as he was married there could be no honesty, indeed, no future in loving him. 'All I can say is, whatever made you decide to wed our dad, it was the best thing you ever did.'

  Just then the doorbell rang as the young woman breezed in; dark hair flowing and coat flapping open, she looked like she'd been through a wind-tunnel. 'I've run out o' Fairy Snowflakes,' she said breathlessly,I'll take two packets, one for now and one for the cupboard.'

  'You look like you've been running,' Marie commented as she served her. 'Come far have you?'

  'Far enough!' The woman was obviously not in the mood for conversation. 'How much is that?'

  'Ninepence-halfpenny if you please.'

  'Hmph! You're a penny dearer than the Coop.'

  'Is that so?' Marie had been in a good mood but now she was fighting fit. 'Well, I'm sorry, but that's the price. D'you still want it or not?'

  The woman was positively bristling. 'Of course! How else can I do my washing?'

  She thrust the coins onto the counter, snatched the two boxes of Fairy Snowflakes, and dashed out of the shop.

  Amy was flabbergasted. 'You were a bit harsh weren't you, Mam?' she remarked. 'That might well have been a regular customer in the making, and now you've frightened her off.'

  Marie chuckled, 'I don't know what came over me,' she said. 'It must be your father's influence.'

  A moment later, the woman returned. 'I need a bar of carbolic,' she announced, 'I got all the way to Ackeroyd Street before I remembered.'

  Marie was ready for an argument and before she got the carbolic she informed her, That'll be a tanner.'

  'That's all right.' The woman counted out six pennies. 'This is a pleasant little shop,' she said looking around, I dare say I'll be back again.' Before hurrying away, she bade them each a friendly 'Good day.'

  'There you are, lass,' Marie pointed out. 'That proves what I've just been saying. Folks get suspicious when you pretend to be something you're not. Besides, when she made that cutting remark about the Co-op, it got me off on the wrong foot.'

  That evening after the shop was closed and tea was over, Amy went upstairs to get ready for her Saturday evening out with Daisy, Jack and Roy. According to Daisy 'the Tuesday man' hadn't been in the cafe since last month. Amy herself had stayed away on Tuesdays with the excuse that the shop was busier than usual in the run-up to Christmas, though she had been sure to meet up with Daisy in the evenings and at weekends, knowing how Daisy valued these escapes from her home life.

  Amy thought again about what her mother had said. 'Folks get suspicious when you pretend to be something you're not.'

  That was what Luke Hammond had done—pretended to be something he was not. He had pretended he wasn't married, and, however tempting, she must never again behave as if this were true.

  She quickly brought Jack into her mind. He did not possess the same wealth or standing as Luke Hammond, but as far as she could tell he had never lied to her. He had never pretended to be anyone but the man he was, and she respected him for that.

  With Jack in mind, and the desire to look nice for him, she took her burgundy dress out of the wardrobe, clean underwear out of her drawer, and after deciding on her long brown coat, she laid it all out on the bed and took herself to the bathroom to get ready.

  'By! You look good enough to eat, lass.' Having finished his tea, her father was stretched out in front of a cheery fire when Amy came down. 'Where are you off to then?'

  Amy kissed each of her parents on the cheek. 'Daisy said there's a good film on at the Roxy,' she answered. 'We thought we might go there.'

  'Oh, aye?' Giving Marie an aside wink, Dave said coaxingly, 'Are them two lads going with yer an' all?'

  Amy had to smile. 'Have you two been talking about me?' she accused, wagging a finger.

  Marie was unperturbed. 'Aw, go on with yer. O' course we have, lass. You can fetch the young man home, if yer like. Me an' your father would like to meet him, wouldn't we, Father?'

  Dave nodded. 'Aye, we would that. Besides, I need to cast a wary eye over this young man o' yourn. I'll not have you taking up with a bad 'un like Don Carson.'

  Amy chuckled. She could cope with the mention of her former fiancé these days. 'You've probably already "cast an eye" over him,' was her teasing, parting remark. 'After all, you see each other most every day.'

  As she dashed away, she could hear him calling after her, 'What's that supposed to mean? Hey! How do we see each other? COME BACK 'ERE!'

  Amy chuckled all the way down the street. "You'll know soon enough,' she murmured, 'and when you do, I think you'll agree that Jack's a good bloke.'

  And the more she sized him up for her father's approval, the more she came to understand how fine a man Jack really was.

  Daisy was waiting at the tram-stop as usual. Agitated and upset, she was pacing the ground, head down, and her thoughts still back at home with her feuding parents. 'I've decided,' she told Amy as they walked to the Roxy where they had arranged to meet up with Jack and Roy, 'I've had enough. I can't stand the shouting and fighting any longer. Soonever I can get enough money together for a deposit, I mean to find a place of my own to rent. There are rooms advertised in the Evening Telegraph that are perfectly respectable. Happen I can find a house where there are other single ladies.'

  Amy was not surprised. She had long seen it coming. Time and again, Daisy had threatened to leave home and it had never come to anything, only this time Amy could see she meant it.

  'Tell them what you intend doing,' she suggested. 'Happen it will make them see sense.'

  Daisy poured scorn on the suggestion. 'It would be a waste of time,' she declared. 'They haven't got an ounce o' sense between them. They drink and fight, then make up, and drink and fight all over again. This time our mam broke the mirror and, according to some folks, that's seven years' bad luck. And look at that.' Rolling up her sleeve she showed Amy a long, deep cut over which she'd taped some gauze. 'When I tried to pick up the pieces of broken mirror, she went for me. Like a bloody wildcat she was.'

  Amy was horrified. 'It looks deep to me,' she exclaimed, bringing them both to a halt. I think we should go to the infirmary and let them have a look at it.'

  Quickly rolling her sleeve down, Daisy resumed walking. 'It'll mend. I don't need to go to no infirmary!' And try as she might, Amy could not persuade her.

  Worried for Daisy's safety, Amy offered her a way out. 'Come and stay with us. The back room's going begging. You can have that.'

  'Thank you. You're a good friend.' Daisy was visibly moved by Amy's kind offer. 'In fact you're my only friend. But I can't move in with you.'

  'Why not?'

  Daisy explained, 'For one thing I know y
our mam uses the back room for storage, and for another, it wouldn't be fair on her. She works hard in that shop, and the last thing she wants is to take me on, with my noisy ways and bad habits.'

  Amy argued that her mam would have no objections, but Daisy was having none of it. 'Grateful though I am, lass, I prefer to do it my way.' She gave Amy a sly little wink. 'Besides, I've an idea that I might be getting wed afore too long. What would yer think to that, eh?'

  'Has Roy asked you already?'

  'Not in so many words, but I reckon it's on the cards.' Daisy gave Amy a playful nudge. 'I reckon tonight's the night, love,' she chuckled, 'and I'll jump at the chance.'

  'Don't get wed just so's you can leave home,' Amy warned. 'That's not a good basis for a long life together. Jump in with both feet and you might live to regret it.'

  Daisy lowered her voice. 'Shall I tell you summat?'

  'You will anyway, so go on. What's on your mind now?'

  'If Roy asked me straight out to be his wife, the reason I'd say yes is because I love him.' Her eyes lit up. 'He makes me laugh, and when he kisses me, I shiver all over.' She shivered now just at the thought of it. 'I hate every minute when I'm away from him, and when I see him, my heart leaps and jumps and I'm all butterflies inside. That's love isn't it, lass?'

  Amy laughed. 'Sounds like it to me.'

  Arm in arm, with Daisy going on about how devoted she was to Roy and how lucky she was to have met him, they went down the street at a good brisk pace.

  It wasn't long before Daisy wanted to know, 'How do you feel about Jack?'

  Amy shrugged. 'I'm not sure.' At that moment, it was Luke Hammond who was playing on her mind.

  'D'yer love him?'

  Amy was visibly startled. 'Who?'

  Daisy groaned. 'Who d'yer think? Jack, o' course! D'yer love him?'