My Clarity

by M. Clarke

  “Yes, what do you think of this? I just need a curly blonde wig. Or I guess I could just curl my hair but it will be too long.”

  “You’re going to look so hot. With your figure, you’ll look just like her.”

  “You think so?”

  “Come on, let’s try it.”

  After grabbing a few costumes, we headed to the dressing room. I knew what I wanted, but Lexy tried on one after another, unable to decide.

  “What do you think about this one?” she asked, spotting my phone in my hand. “Everything okay?”

  “I don’t know. Liam hasn’t called. I told him that we needed a break, but all he cared about was that he wanted me to move out. He doesn’t get it. It’s like whatever I say means nothing to him. I was hoping he’d at least call to apologize, but it doesn’t matter anyway. I’m breaking up with him. I just need to do it face to face.”

  “Oh.” Her tone took a dip. “Forget about him. He’s playing games with you. He’s probably waiting for you to grovel at his feet first. There’s going to be tons of guys at the party tonight, and with your outfit, you won’t have any problems.”

  “Thanks,” I said checking again for messages.

  “Okay, I’ve decided. I’ll be the sexy devil. Halloween is tomorrow and I don’t want to come back again. I’m starving. Let’s go.”

  We quickly cleaned up, paid, and left.

  Whiteboard:

  Thanks for the left over spaghetti.

  Wondering what you’ll be dressed as tonight.

  -E

  Lexy and I had to work the evening shift, so we went back to my place to get dressed. Elijah was helping Seth and his fraternity brothers. I was glad he was already there. Instead of eating out, I invited Lexy to eat the leftover spaghetti.

  “That is so cute,” Lexy gushed, directing her eyes on the whiteboard.

  “Oh, that,” I smiled, taking a heated plate out of the microwave oven and handing it to her. “It’s how Elijah and I communicate sometimes.”

  “I’ve seen it before, but I didn’t say anything.” Lexy headed to the dining area.

  “I have to say, Alex. You make the best spaghetti,” she complimented, placing a fork full in her mouth.

  “Thank you. It was my dad’s special recipe.”

  “Sorry about your dad,” she shrugged sheepishly.

  “That’s okay, Lexy. Elijah is right. The more I talk about him, the more the pain becomes bearable.”

  “I’m here for you,” Lexy managed to say, taking another bite. “I’m lucky that I still have both my parents. Elijah on the other hand….” she stopped.

  The chunk of spaghetti I just swallowed didn’t go down smoothly when Lexy spoke about Elijah and what he had gone through. Life sucks sometimes, but having good friends to ease the grief can make up for not having any family for support.

  “How about your mom?” Lexy asked, changing the subject.

  “She’s fine. My parents were divorced. I’m sure she grieves for my dad in her own way, but not in the same way as me. At least that’s what I think.”

  After we ate and got dressed, we took pictures and sent them to Emma. Then we were on our way. I had a million butterflies dancing in my stomach, but I didn’t know why.

  I thought we were going to someone’s house but it was actually at a restaurant. There were tons of people dressed up, looking stress-free and enjoying themselves. It was great to be surrounded by this contagious euphoric atmosphere.

  “Tickets,” the guy at the door said.

  “What ticket?” I asked Lexy. She was digging through her purse. “Lexy, I didn’t get a ticket,” I panicked.

  “Relax. I have yours.” She handed him two tickets. When I got a glimpse of it, I saw how much they cost. They were fifty dollars each.

  “Next!” the guy said out loud. That was our cue to move out of the way.

  “Let me pay you back. I’m sorry. I didn’t know I had to buy a ticket,” I sighed, feeling like a dork. I had to raise my voice when Lexy led us further in. The music blasted in my ears.

  “Don’t worry about it. I didn’t pay for them. You weren’t supposed to see how much they cost.”

  “Who paid for mine?”

  “Compliments of your roommate. Don’t say anything to him, he’ll get mad at me. Promise?”

  The only thing I could do was nod. Thinking about how Elijah had paid for my ticket was running around in my head; I couldn’t help but zone out. I was distracted, deep in my thoughts when I heard the whistles and noticed stares from the guys that hung out with Elijah. Dean was in that crowd. He waved us over.

  “It’s the hot devil and the hooker.” Dean placed his arms around our shoulders, guiding us to where his group was sitting.

  Hooker? He didn’t get my costume, but that was fine. Maybe not a lot of people would, but I didn’t care.

  “Why, Elvis,” Lexy flirted at Dean. “Aren’t you a sexy thang? Love that wig.” She touched it.

  “Here we are,” Dean grinned.

  There were no chairs available around the table so we stood instead.

  “Where are Seth and Elijah?” Lexy asked.

  “Around here somewhere.” Dean reached over and handed us each a drink.

  “Thanks.” I took a small sip, checking to see if I’d like the taste. I was so thirsty and nervous that I gulped the whole thing down.

  Lexy blinked her eyes and dropped her jaw, looking shocked. “That thirsty or that nervous?”

  I shrugged my shoulders and gave a “whatever” look.

  “Alex?” I heard my name and turned.

  “Cynthia?” I recognized her from Art History class. She and I sat together once.

  Cynthia’s eyes racked down my body. “It’s good to see you here. You look fabulous. I love that movie.”

  “Thanks. You look great, too,” I said, waving to her group of friends. Cynthia was dressed in a Little Red Riding Hood outfit—cute, but a little slutty.

  After I introduced Cynthia and her friends to my group of friends, I turned to adjust my wig. When I turned back around, I could see their eyes bugging out of their heads and their jaws on the floor. You could practically see them drooling. When I looked up to where they were staring, I was pretty sure my facial expression matched theirs. I could not believe what I was seeing.

  Oh My God! It was Danny. I mean…it was Elijah. That guy was the sexiest thing I had ever seen. He was wearing a black leather jacket, slightly off his shoulders. The form fitted T-shirt that curved every part of his toned chest was absolutely delectable, and his hair was slicked back. He strutted like the stud that he was. I was sure all the girls in this place wanted to drop their panties for him. I was completely mesmerized and I couldn’t believe he dressed up like Danny. Now it was his turn to be surprised.

  Elijah

  The ladies drooled as soon as they saw me. It was awesome how they parted like the red sea as I walked through a group of them. I strolled up to my group of friends and came to a dead stop when I saw Alex. I was in complete shock. Dressed in black leather pants, a black top that clung to her breasts, red killer heels, and a blonde, short curly wig, she was my Sandy.

  With a flash of her smile, the one that always left me undone, she waved shyly. I knew she liked what she saw from the look in her eyes. It was the same look all the ladies gave me, but the only one that mattered was hers.

  “Danny?” she asked hesitantly with an awed expression on her face. “I thought you didn’t dress up?”

  “Yeah, Danny boy. When did you change your mind?” Lexy gave me a good smack. I hated when she did that.

  “Did you both plan this?” Seth chuckled, eyeing Alex in a way I didn’t like, but I couldn’t blame him. So were the other guys. I wanted to cover up that gorgeous body of hers with my jacket.

  “I’m not dressed up. I always look like this.” I flicked my jacket and acted tough, just like Danny does in Grease.

  “Yeah, whatever.” Lexy slapped me again, and then turned to Seth. “Rea
lly? Jason again?”

  “I had no time to shop. It was the easiest thing to put on.”

  “Gonna race tomorrow night?” Dean asked me. Why in the hell would he bring up a subject like that in front of everyone? I guess it was okay since it was so loud in here; it was difficult to hear the person standing next to you.

  “Don’t announce it to the world,” I said sternly.

  Dean gazed around. “Sorry. I thought it was okay since we were among friends.”

  “You just never know.”

  “You’re racing again?” Alex asked. I could hear the disapproving tone in her words.

  “It pays the bills, Alex,” I said sharply. I wanted to say that I didn’t have a dad who saved up a college fund like hers, but I knew better. I didn’t have to say anything after that. Either she understood or didn’t care. I hoped it was the first.

  Alex and Lexy took off for the dance floor with some others while I grabbed a beer and sat between Seth and Dean.

  “So, how’s it going with Alex? Is she a good roommate?” Seth asked.

  “She’s great. I thought she was going to be a pain at the beginning. You know what I mean? But somehow, without even talking about it, we take turns…like getting the groceries, and knowing the other person’s schedule so we don’t hog up the bathroom.”

  “I’m not sure about you, but I would have a difficult time sleeping at night knowing a fine piece of ass was sleeping in the other room,” Dean added, taking a sip of his beer.

  Little did he know that thought crossed my mind many times. Unexpectedly, an arm slithered up my chest. “Heather,” I greeted. I did a double take when I saw her dressed up like a Playboy Bunny. She looked hot, but I was surprised that I had no interest.

  “Elijah, I’ve been looking all over for you, baby,” she whispered in my ear. I could tell she was horny. If I gave her that look, she would have followed me anywhere if I wanted to fuck her, but I wasn’t interested at all. I was hoping if I ignored her, she would go away, but she kept running her hands all over me, even down to my crotch. That’s when I jumped out of my seat and turned to look for Alex.

  Jealousy crept over me when I saw her dancing with few of the frat boys surrounding her. It was difficult not to watch her dance. The way her body swayed to the music was hypnotic. I wasn’t really upset until I saw Nolan approaching her. Seth placed his hand on my chest to calm me down.

  “Don’t go over just yet. Let’s see what happens.”

  Sure enough, he was making his move. But unlike before, she didn’t push him away and that kind of ticked me off. What was she thinking?

  Chapter 23

  Alexandria

  Wiping drops of sweat with the back of my hand, I laughed and smiled at Lexy and my new friends as we danced away. The wig was itchy, but I ignored it. I even wanted to scratch my ass. These leather pants were making me feel hot and sweaty. What could I say? That’s what I got for buying a cheap costume.

  Suddenly, I felt the room spin a little and I flushed with heat. Floating off the ground, I was in a blissful state. Yup, I was buzzed. Dean’s drink had tasted like punch but definitely had a lot of alcohol in it. I knew better than to take a drink from a stranger, but since it was from someone I knew, I gulped it down. Not a good idea. I made a mental note to never do that again. My dad would have been…I stopped thinking.

  Dancing with my friends helped me forget about everything else, including Liam, Elijah, my dad, and just life in general. I was in the moment with no worries, just having a great time. The world had shut down around me until I turned to smile at Lexy, but she had moved on to someone else and I saw Elijah instead.

  I gave him a smile, but instead of getting a smile back, I saw the disapproving look on his face. Great! Or was I wrong? Was he upset about something they were discussing, or about the guys I was dancing with? Was he jealous? Surely, he wasn’t, but when I saw Nolan standing in front of me, I knew exactly what it was about. That one-second of satisfaction I had from the possibility he was jealous was gone when I saw Heather.

  “My starter girl.” Nolan’s brows twitched flirtatiously. His body was too close for comfort. Next thing I knew, his hands were on my hips, swaying with me. I didn’t care much for him, but now I had a dance partner and he was good.

  The bass pumped through my ears and to my heart. I could feel it through my body, down to my toes as Nolan moved with mine in perfect harmony. The song, the beat, the moment, I was lost until the asshole started to run his hand down my back to my ass and grinded my body into his.

  “What the hell, Nolan! Get off me,” I stammered.

  Nolan laughed in my face, still holding on to me. “You know you like it.”

  “I’m serious. Stop!” I shoved, but to no avail.

  I didn’t have to fight him again after that. When his body flew off mine, I stumbled sideways but didn’t fall as expected. My breathing was heavy and ragged from dancing and anger. I knew the figure with his back toward me, blocking my view. Elijah held a guarded stance. With tight fists by his side, he was ready to give Nolan another blow.

  “I’ve already warned you once. Don’t you ever fuckin’ touch her again. I’ll break both of your wrists. Let’s see if you can drive like that.”

  Nolan’s friends were ready to fight, but so were Elijah’s. When Nolan got in Elijah’s face, I heard a whack.

  I thought he punched Elijah in the face, but it was actually his hand blocking Nolan’s fist. Elijah threw one right back, smack on Nolan’s jaw, causing him to hit the ground. Getting right back up, Nolan swung, but missed.

  Just as Elijah was about to hit him again, Seth and Jonathan held him back, while Nolan was held back by a few of his friends. They were separated as their eyes burned into each other with hatred. Nolan and his friends left the party, acting like assholes the whole time.

  I was just about to thank Elijah when he grabbed my arm. “Come with me,” he ordered. He didn’t wait for me to reply and tugged me out of the restaurant. I was pretty annoyed that Elijah was mad at me. It’s not like it was my fault that he got into a fight with Nolan.

  “What the hell were you thinking, dancing with him like that? And to top it off, you’re wasted,” he scolded.

  I was so surprised by his tone, that all I could do at first was blink and soak in his words. Then it all came pouring out. “You have no right to tell me who I can dance with. I was just having fun. I had it under control and I’m not wasted.” My tone was just as angry as his was.

  “Under control?” he huffed. “He had his hand on your ass and he was practically fucking you on the dance floor. Is that what you call fun?”

  “Who I dance with or who I fuck on the dance floor is my business. Who made you my babysitter?”

  Elijah’s eyes grew. His jaw was tight. He ran his hands through his hair and exhaled a deep breath. “You’re right, I have no right. Don’t play with fire; you’ll get burned. Nolan is not your type. And aren’t you still with Liam?” His tone was accusatory.

  “I’m not sure,” I spit out the words. Though I had planned to break up with Liam, I didn’t want to tell Elijah. This topic had nothing to do with what we were arguing about. At least I didn’t think it did.

  “Don’t you have a girlfriend? You’re such a hypocrite. Aren’t you at Heather’s place when you don’t come home until late at night?”

  His brows angled, digesting what I had just said. Even I couldn’t believe what I was saying, but I couldn’t take it back. I was furious.

  “Is that where you think I’ve been?” He looked disappointedly surprised. “Were you dancing with Nolan because you were jealous of Heather?” His lips protruded out, trying to hold in a smile or a laugh. I couldn’t tell which one.

  “No. I’m not jealous. I was just having fun dancing,” I retorted and looked away. Shit! I couldn’t help being jealous, but I didn’t want him to see it. That didn’t last long. I peered up since he hadn’t said a word. He kept on staring, studying me.

  “Are you
done now? I’m cold. I want to go back in.” I really wasn’t, but I didn’t want to stand there any longer.

  “I’m sorry,” he said softly when I started to head back. That made me stop.

  “For what?” I asked. My back was still to him.

  “For wanting to protect you.” His tone was tender and it broke my heart. I could feel how much he wanted to protect his brother and his mother and he couldn’t, but this was different.

  “You don’t have to feel like you have to protect me. I want you to be my friend, Elijah.”

  “A friend,” he repeated, but it sounded more like a question. “I’m not sure what that means anymore.” His words came out fast but soft. I wasn’t sure if I had heard him correctly. When he walked away, I knew our little spat was over and everything would be fine in the morning like it always was, pretending that nothing ever happened between us.

  Lexy and I didn’t stay long since we had to work the next day. After she dropped me off, I went straight to bed, but I couldn’t sleep. My mind wandered with thoughts of Elijah and Liam. I knew I wanted to end things with Liam, but what about Elijah? He never told me straight out that he was interested in me.

  It was strange to have feelings for the type of guy I would never have considered dating. I swore I would never date a guy who smoked, although he hadn’t smoked around me since he knew my dad passed away from lung cancer. Still, I couldn’t help the way I felt. Every time I saw Elijah, my heart jumped and my sex drive had a mind of its own.

  I must have dozed off for just a little while, because when I woke up it was still dark out. The need to quench my thirst was what woke me since the air from the heater made my throat dry. Groggily heading to the kitchen to get a drink of water, I walked out with barely anything on. Elijah was asleep since he came home shortly after I did. The lights were off, so it wasn’t as if I had to worry about anyone seeing me.

  My eyelids were so heavy that I was squinting as I tried to find the refrigerator handle. I’m pretty sure if anyone had seen me, I’d have looked like a zombie with my arms extended out as I opened the fridge door. Laughing at myself, I ended up grabbing the carton of milk since it was the first thing my fingers touched. As I was reaching for a cup, a shadow passed over me. The carton of milk went flying out of my hands, and ended up pouring all over me when I jumped up screaming bloody murder.