Different Minds

by Joyce E. Rayess

  “Thank you,” I told the waiter. I was happy now that I looked exactly like she did. She definitely looked appealing.

  Eric’s smile was wider now and his eyes tighter. It was as if he knew exactly what I was doing. I thought perhaps I should stop looking at the girl unless I was very sure Eric wasn’t staring at me. The last time I had looked at her, she was holding her hands on the surface of the table, in the position of prayer. I waited a little before I made myself look exactly like her. I went through the menu; it was all in French. I had no trouble reading it, but I didn’t know if Julie knew any French at all.

  “Eric, I need to use the lady’s room. Meanwhile, how about you order?”

  “Oh sure. No, I’ll wait for you.” He closed the menu.

  “I would like you to order for me, anything…really.” I gave a last look at the menu, pretending that everything seemed fine.

  “All right, I had a few propositions.” He smiled and his cheeks became round and red.

  “I’d like that.” I pushed the chair back. “Do you know where the…”

  “Yes, just on the right underneath the stairs there’s a door.” He waved his hand in the direction.

  I followed his instructions until I reached the bathroom. I hurried to my phone and texted Sarah.

  Sarah!! URGENT! Does Julie speak French?

  I waited a few seconds before Sarah replied.

  Absolutely! She used to live in France with her mother. I just learned that her father and mother were separated. Only a year before your coma did they get back together, Chester was sick and Donna came back to him because of pity.

  I replied quickly.

  That’s good and sad news. Are you sure?

  She responded right away.

  Absolutely!

  I washed my hands and put the phone on silent mode. In case Sarah texted me again, it was a little early to let Eric know that I had already given my number to someone. When I was back to my seat, Eric had drunk half the two-liter water bottle that was placed on the table. I settled myself in the seat and pushed the chair closer to the table. I looked at Eric with whatever confidence I was able to muster.

  “So what did you order?” I picked up the one menu that was left on the table and stared into it.

  “The choice was not easy, but I managed to pick several things: a plate of pasta, with parmesan and pesto, a steak and two salads.”

  “Which steak? From La Viande section?” I asked to imply that I did remember the French language.

  “The one cooked with red wine.” He turned the page in the menu I had between my hands and pointed to the entree listed. “The Burgundy.”

  “Looks tasty.” I blushed as he stared at me calmly with his adorable eyes. “Tell me about us. I mean, I might remember a thing or two in a week, but it will take me forever to remember everything.”

  “What would you like to know?” He sat back in the chair and held his hands together over his stomach.

  “Okay, let’s start with this. Who are you?”

  “I’m Eric Green. I was born here and lived all my life here. The first time I traveled in my life—is when I met you.”

  “France.”

  “Yes.” He started drinking again from his glass of water.

  “How was your life before you met me?” I reached for the glass of water that was placed just before me.

  “I was raised by Amy. She’s my aunt as you know.” He filled his glass with more water and raised his hand for the waiter. He asked for another bottle of water as the man took the empty one away. “My parents left me with her when I was two.”

  “Where did they go?” I took a sip of water.

  “Disappeared somewhere in South America.”

  “Oh, sorry.” I watched the waiter, who was back with another bottle, two salads, and empty plates. “Did you ever look for them?”

  The waiter left as Eric signaled for me to start eating. “What makes you think they want to be found?”

  “What if something bad happened to them?”

  “I don’t think that happened. They wouldn’t have left without even telling Amy they were leaving me with her. She woke up and found me near her bedroom door. They didn’t even leave a note. They just disappeared. Only a few years ago we were able to track their names on the border; we reported them as missing.” He started with the green salad. “Authorities said they must have changed their names.”

  “How did we meet?” I picked up the fork and stabbed a few slices of lettuce and tomato from the plate.

  “That was unpredictable.” He smiled while chewing. “I met you at your own house.”

  “Where?” I was questioning him without mercy.

  “All right…I knocked on your door and you opened. You started speaking some very beautiful words, and I had no idea what they meant. You were wearing a long T-shirt and shorts. You were barefoot. Your long hair was up in a tight ponytail.” He gestured while explaining. “It was lying over one shoulder. I was so stunned at the first sight of you that I forgot what I had come for.”

  “What did you come for?”

  “Well, the first time I came for Donna, I had a message. Later I started coming for you.”

  I nipped at the water wondering how I was going to ask him my next question without sounding strange.

  “One time you asked me if Colorado was beautiful, and I told you that it was,” he said before I had prepared my next question. “You asked me if I was willing to show it to you.”

  “No way,” I commented.

  “Exactly what I thought by then.” He fixed his eyes on me as though recalling the memory of that day. I knew he wasn’t seeing me at that moment; his mind was kidnapped by the memory lingering in his mind.

  So Eric liked how spontaneous Julie was, her strong self-confidence and behavior. Overwhelming! It was the hardest thing for me to learn, and I had no familiarity whatsoever with such a nature.

  “What message did you have for Donna?” I leaned on the table like the girl I was watching every once in a while; the table made a sound that implied I had put too much weight over it. I lessened the weight awaiting Eric’s reply.

  “Chester had a message for her.” He chewed the last tomato on his plate.

  The waiter suddenly came with the last two plates. He picked up the empty plate in front of Eric. I explained that I was finished with mine as well.

  “So what would you like to have, pasta or meat?” Eric gestured for the waiter to go.

  “Pasta please.”

  He picked up the pasta plate and placed it before me. The aroma was fantastic; I lowered my face to it to grasp more of the amazing pesto smell.

  “So where is Chester now by the way?” I waited for the pasta to cool down.

  “He’s at the distribution company in New York. He has some business to accomplish,” he said without having touched his plate. I figured he must have been waiting for it to cool down too, or else he was just waiting for me.

  “What do you want to do in your career life?” I sounded like a teacher.

  He smiled. “What do we really know at this stage?”

  “What your interests are.” I sipped what was left in my water glass. Eric reached for the bottle and filled my glass again. “Thank you.”

  “Right now I’m interested in making you remember me. That’s the future I’m looking for.”

  I liked that he was still interested in me even when I had become boring and made our conversations seem banal.

  “What if I never do?” I must have killed the charm of the line he’d said a few seconds ago. I bit my lips in disgrace; I should have said something else.

  “Doesn’t matter.” He dropped the fork on his plate. “I’m happy with what you were able to recall. To have remembered me is already very satisfying. We’ve been very lucky so far.”

  I couldn’t help feeling great as he used the word “we” in what I’d been going through. It sounded like we were a team fighting together for something.

 
; “What are your plans for this evening?” He blinked as he spoke softly and picked up the fork.

  “I was thinking I’d read a little of this anthropology. The teacher asked us to read the first chapter.”

  “Oh.” The smile on his face suddenly faded.

  A moment of silence passed. It seemed like a very long time as I wondered what he was thinking about while cutting the burgundy meat and slicing the broccoli. I wished I had a piece of his brain in my head too in order to know what he was thinking about. Was he thinking that I was no longer interesting and that I lacked originality and humor? Was he feeling that his waiting for me had been a waste of his time? I put the fork down after having only tasted the pasta and leaned back in the chair. Maybe it was better to be quiet and not say a single word anymore.

  “Umm…,” he murmured, and I was glad he was about to say something; it was better than wondering what was going on in his mind. “I always seem to be reluctant to tell you how I feel toward you and what it was like to be together. And it’s almost beyond any expression how hard it is to be away from you. But…”

  I didn’t imagine there was anything he could say that would take away the tension I was starting to feel. Then suddenly my hands warmed up and a pleasant feeling of safety and calmness came back into me, and my heartbeat slowed to normal.

  “Then I always think that if you can’t remember that, I should look for new ways that comply with who you have become.” He sighed. “And change within myself into a new person that you might again…”—he swallowed—”love.”

  Perhaps it was the first time I looked into his eyes that deeply. I even noticed the green had a bit of yellow around the pupil. His lashes were so light and profoundly beautiful. Some time passed before I noticed that my lips weren’t touching, and I remembered to close my mouth.

  “Uh…usually, um…” I tried to utter almost anything that would sound as beautiful as what he’d said, while he awaited my words impatiently. “It might be some time but…I’m…”

  “Would you like some wine, miss, sir?” the waiter asked, appearing from nowhere.

  It was probably the worst time for such a question and the perfect time to save me. I looked at the waiter, dizzy with the spell of Eric’s words. I tried to remember what he had asked just now, but the echo of Eric’s voice was stronger. It was like waking up from a dream. Eric was leaning his back on the chair. I wasn’t sure what he was thinking, but he didn’t take his eyes off me. It was hard to notice anymore the man who was standing on my right now. It was strange; I was looking at the waiter but I was seeing with the corner of my eyes an unclear silhouette of Eric. I shook my head to the waiter, not sure what I was answering exactly, and hoped he would ask another question before he left; it would give me enough time to think of a smart answer. Help, Julie! I called her in my mind.

  “Sometimes…” I swallowed with difficulty. “I am afraid that I’m not the same person anymore, because I’m not the person that you loved. And I know that my physical appearance without my previous identity does not make the same person.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “I’m afraid I’m no longer interesting to you, Eric.”

  “Juliette!” He tried to stop me from continuing.

  “I’m scared because of all the people around me you’re the only one I feel familiar with. It’s like I know you but…I don’t know how to talk to you.”

  “You can ask me anything. Julie, you interest me every day by just looking at me. Even when you’re not there, I seem to be with you because my mind isn’t where I am.” He looked at my almost untouched plate. “Please eat some more.” He managed to smile.

  I picked up the fork and went back to my plate. Only then did I realize my hands were shaking. It was hard to swallow. I chewed way more than necessary and drank a lot of water. Eric filled my glass again.

  “What are your plans for the evening?” I tried to change where the subject had led us to.

  He searched with his eyes. “I’ll be working on my snowman of course. Luke said he was interested in helping out. Marc seems to be busy lately with his new girlfriend.”

  “Oh, a new girlfriend?”

  “Yeah, she’s a new girl at the university. Only Monday they met.” He laughed.

  “Why are you laughing,” I said with a smile.

  “Well, because he said that he’s already in love with her.”

  “Wow, that’s the fastest love I’ve ever seen in my life!”

  He nodded. “Exactly my thoughts!”

  We were both eating faster now, and in just a few minutes I was surprised to see that I had finished my whole plate. I knew there was too much that I needed to do now. I had to meet with Sarah this afternoon, I needed to find Julie’s notes if she had any, I needed to search on the Internet for ways to draw with colors, and I had to build a snowman! The only thought that brought relief was that I had Sarah now.

  Eric paid the bill quickly; I went through my handbag to check if I had any money and was surprised to find five hundred dollars and two credit cards in a small purse. Who had given me that? I looked deeper into the purse and found some papers and notes; I thought I would go through them when I was finally at home tonight. We walked toward the car. I was holding on tight to Eric, afraid of slipping on the snow; he had a sly happy expression on his face. He opened my car door.

  “Thank you, Eric. It was very tasty!” I buttoned my jacket as I stepped into the car.

  Once inside, he turned the heater on, still smiling, and started driving toward home.

  Chapter 14

  stalling eric

  upon my arrival home I called for Donna, but the first one that bumped into me was Luna. I caressed the dog and walked toward the kitchen. Donna was cooking something that smelled like sweets. She had her sleeves rolled up and was wearing an apron.

  “I prepared you an incredible lunch, then some sweets for the evening.” She seemed happy, and I felt good when I saw her so joyful.

  “Hey, Donna.” I kissed her cheek. “I just had lunch with Eric. Too bad because the smell is so incredible in here!”

  “Is that right? Where did you have lunch?” She opened the stove and peeked at the unfinished sweets.

  “Some all-winter-long Christmas restaurant.” I grimaced, implying that it was weird.

  “Ah, the Two Seasons, yes I know it. It’s either Christmas or summer there.”

  “When is Chester coming back?” I asked spontaneously and noticed the smile on her face dim a little.

  “Within the next couple of days.” She seemed concentrated on the cooking. “Flights are being postponed due to a storm.”

  “Donna, would you care to build a snowman with me?” I wondered if it was correct to ask such a thing from a mother.

  “A snowman?” she asked with a surprised tone.

  “Yeah, well, Eric is building one and he’s getting help from a friend. I sort of told him mine would look better, but I’m not sure how I will do that.”

  “How much time do you have?”

  “I’m not sure.” I crushed a cookie in a plate on the table. “I can always buy more time.” I smiled.

  “Well, let’s get him busy with something while we make progress.” She seemed excited about it.

  “He’s sort of working on it this afternoon while I was going to study a little.”

  “No he’s not!” She smiled slyly. “I need his help in shopping for the tools we’ll use in building the snowman.”

  “You are evil.” I laughed. “I like you very much. All right, I’ll go study at the library a little and be back in no time. This way I can accompany you for the shopping.” It made me feel bad to lie about studying, but I needed to talk to Sarah—it was inevitable.

  “No need, dear, you can take your time studying while I ask all unnecessary favors from Eric.” She sounded amused.

  “Thank you, Donna.” As I walked away we smiled at each other.

  I went to my room and changed into a warmer winter ja
cket and texted Sarah.

  I’m ready. I’ll be in the library in seven minutes.

  As I walked down the stairs Luna seemed unhappy that I didn’t allow her to come with me to the library, but I wasn’t sure if dogs were allowed in there. I could hear her whining sound as I closed the door behind me, leaving her inside. Just before reaching the entrance of the library, I saw a girl waving her hands and walking fast under the snow.

  “Hey, wait for me,” Sarah shouted across the distance.

  I waited a little until she was closer, and we entered together. Her nose was red, her hands were freezing, and she even said she couldn’t feel her toes. I was feeling pretty much everything she complained about. The pain of cold abated as we went to the center of the library, and soon it became negligible.

  “I still can’t understand how I’m managing to like you while you look so much like this,” she complained.

  “Why, I think I look way better, in fact Julie does.” I placed the anthropology book on the table and slid myself into the seat.

  “Well, I don’t like it.” It was easier for her to look away than to look me in the face.

  “Sarah, what can I do to help you?”

  “Write loser over your face!” she said while laughing.

  I was angry and silent for a moment, but then her laugh was too easy to follow.

  “After you,” I said.

  The library was new. It seemed more like a coffee shop than what it really was. In fact, there was a section that did offer coffee, but library books were not allowed to be taken inside. A huge sign on the door read: NO LIBRARY BOOKS ALLOWED IN THE COFFEE SHOP.

  “Why are you sitting like me? Didn’t they teach you in the big house how to do all the stuff they do?”

  “Why do you act like you’re not one of them, Sarah?”

  “Because I’m not.”

  “Anyways, that’s exactly why I need you.” I looked at her with wide-open eyes. Even I felt awkward with the grimace I was holding on my face.

  “You’re in an abject state you know?” She looked amused although she didn’t cease complaining.

  “Even Jack told me once that you come from a rich family. He was very surprised that you just walked away despite all the luxuries you had. So I know that you know it all, Sarah. I promise to renounce the shuffling that disturbs you and replace it with everything new that you teach me. I know it makes you happy.”