by Linda Maran
“I had to come and get the house cleaned out so I could rent it. I’ve been here since Tuesday.”
“Tuesday? That’s almost a week, and you didn’t even call me?” Cindy looked highly insulted. Or was it surprised?
Kristen shrugged. “I had too much to do. Sorry.”
“Well, forget it, then. Derick and I are on our way for a swim. Want to come?”
Kristen looked at Derick. She’d been avoiding his fixed glance. He continued to stare.
“No, I’ll pass. I had a swim before. I’m still cleaning.”
“Maybe we can help.” Derick’s dark eyes, glued to her face, awaited her response.
“No. But thanks, anyway. Some of the stuff is personal, and it’s sort of an emotional private time. My mother’s things and all. You know?”
Derick nodded, and she thought she saw a hint of disappointment before he finally looked away. Kristen chose to ignore it.
Cindy reached for her hand. “I’m sorry you have to go through all of this, Kris. There hasn’t been any more news about Alex Cook. I guess it takes time to investigate those types of things. I have a feeling he didn’t do anything. I mean, we’ve known him all of our lives.”
“That’s true. But sometimes you think you know someone, and you really don’t.” Kristen couldn’t help but focus her eyes on Derick as she spoke the words.
He kept his gaze downward.
“Well, we’d better get going. Lena, Susan, Mike, and a few others are meeting us.” Cindy obviously got the dig and nudged Derick before he could respond.
Kristen hadn’t seen or heard from those friends since graduation. As she gazed at Cindy and Derick standing there with thwarted expressions, she realized that she no longer had anything in common with either of them. Nothing to share or talk about. Things had definitely changed. Or could it be that it was she who’d changed and no longer clicked with them?
“OK, have a nice time. Thanks for stopping over. Bye.” Kristen’s words nearly collided, and she quickly closed the door. Phew! Don’t I ever get a break? Are You testing every emotion and nerve I have in me, God? Are You even there? Am I talking to the air? She made a wide gesture with her arms and then walked into the living room and flopped onto the sofa. She was tired and wound up all at once.
Then she remembered John’s letter on the kitchen table. She smiled and stood, retrieved the letter and sat back on the sofa. She reread it again and sighed.
I want to go home.
And right then and there, she knew that this house, and the Jersey Shore, wasn’t it.
~*~
“It’s a full week that our Kristen is in New Jersey, jah?” Mary asked John as he opened the store door.
“Jah. She left last Tuesday.” John kept his voice as monotone as he could manage while his sister stepped inside. He turned the CLOSED sign over to OPEN and wondered if Kristen had received his letter and if she’d write back.
Mary removed two pies from her bag and set them on the kaffee counter. Then she began to fill the urn with water.
“Doesn’t Aenti Miriam do that?” John picked up a knife and cut himself a hearty piece of cherry pie. Anna was under the weather with a stomachache, and he’d skipped breakfast to clean out the chicken coop and wash some eggs for her.
“Jah, but Aenti Miriam is home baking more pie to bring to Katie’s this afternoon when she helps her redd up the haus for Jacob when he comes tomorrow.”
“Jacob is coming for another visit?” Why would Jacob come again before Kristen got back?
“Nee, not exactly a visit. He’ll be setting up his carpentry shop. He’s moving back to Stone Arabia. Ach! Katie is so happy.”
Did this mean that Kristen was coming back to stay for gut? What else would prompt Jacob to make such a move? He was all set up in Lowville.
“What about Jacob’s hardware business?”
“His cousin, Eli, Margaret’s sohn, will run it. Jacob taught him all he needs to know.” Mary began to set slices of pie onto paper plates.
“How did you come to know all of this?”
“Aenti Miriam told us when she came by during breakfast to drop off the pies. You were still out doing chores.”
“Do you think Kristen knows?” Surely Jacob must have discussed this with her over the weekend at the shore.
“Aenti Miriam didn’t say much else. Ach, I better put the mat by the door, it’s making down hard! It didn’t feel like rain at all.”
John finished off his pie and waited for the urn water to heat up to make a cup of kaffee. He didn’t know quite what to make of this latest news. His first reaction was to assume Jacob was coming to live closer to his dochter. But then again, he could be doing it for Katie, too, now that he knew how lonely she’d been most of her life.
~*~
The next day at noon when Mamm and Daniel came with the other buggy to relieve Mary and bring lunch for John, Mamm had a funny look in her eyes.
John had been working full days at the store while Daed tended the fields now.
Daed announced that it would be him, instead of John, who’d work outdoors in the afternoons on gut weather days, rather than being cooped up in the store jabbering most of the time. Daniel still helped Daed in the morgens. This was fine by John. He preferred to focus all his time on getting the store underway.
“A letter came for you.” Mamm handed John a white envelope. The return address was Bradley Beach, New Jersey. That explained the look in her eyes. Mamm had to know it was from Kristen, but she said nothing more.
“Denki.”
Mamm smiled then started toward the preserves and canned items where she usually spent most of her time. She turned back for a moment.
“Did we sell some preserves today, John?”
“I don’t know. Mary was there most of the morgen while I was in the back.”
Mary turned when she heard her name. “What’s that?”
“Preserves. Did we sell any this morgen?” Mamm repeated.
“Jah. Four jars. Two strawberry and two orange. The Englisch woman, Julie, down the road a piece from here bought them.”
“I don’t think I’ve met her. I’ll have to bring four more tomorrow to replace those.” Mamm moved some of the jars around on the shelf to fill the spaces where the bought preserves had been.
While Mamm and Mary talked over the canned items, John stole away to read Kristen’s letter. Daniel was in the back where the tools and feed were kept, so he slipped into the school supply and stationery aisle. Seemed to be the most private place in the store this time of day. He opened the envelope and unfolded the loose leaf paper Kristen had written on.
Dear John,
Jacob and I had a nice visit here. He enjoyed the beach and seeing the area where I grew up. It was more crowded than I’d have liked on a Saturday, but we got to walk on the boardwalk early on Sunday before he left. The beach was empty at that time, and he got to see it at its best.
I’ve been busy cleaning things out, so I can rent the house in a couple of months and pay the bills that are accumulating. So far, I have three big trash bags full to donate to the church.
I hope everyone there is fine. I was happy to hear from you, and from Mary and Anna. Please tell your parents and Aunt Miriam that I send my best and am thinking of them.
I miss seeing you at the table across from me, too. Here, I eat on the move, while I’m doing something else. For breakfast, I buy a bagel (no cheese) and a small container of orange juice and have it while I walk on the boardwalk each morning. When I get home I begin the cleaning again. In between, I order a sandwich or some pizza. By eight o’clock I’m tired and in bed. I guess I’ve gotten used to waking up and going to bed early.
I should be back by next Tuesday. By then I hope to have the place in tip top shape. The real estate office will take the keys, but I have a second set for myself.
Angela told me I have to learn to ride a buggy because Amish aren’t supposed to hire a driver so much for things (like swimming) othe
r than going to doctors, weddings, funerals and faraway stores. Maybe you can teach me? That way I can get around without calling Angela all the time. I think Old Faithful will be a better choice than Rusty.
I hope the store is doing well and that Anna’s new flavor of fudge is a big hit. Please tell her I can’t wait to try it.
See you soon.
Love, Kristen
Love? She’d signed it, Love, Kristen. Is that how the Englisch generally signed letters to friends, or was this a special closure...just for him? She was coming back next Tuesday. Coming back to Stone Arabia. To stay? If she planned to rent the haus, then she can’t very well go back there to live. His heart started a hard pounding.
“John? John? Are you in here?” Daniel’s voice got John to his feet. He tucked the letter in his pants pocket and walked out of his new private place. “Jah, here I am. What is it, Daniel?”
“Daed thinks it would be neighborly to assist Jacob to restore the old carpenter shop building he has behind Katie’s haus. Mamm and Mary agreed to stay here all day on Saturday while you, me, and Daed help Jacob get the place together. Katie, Aenti Miriam, and Rachel will be making us food and cold drinks.”
“Rachel, huh?” John gave his younger brudder a sly smile.
“Ach! Don’t go making a big deal out of it. Aenti Miriam is friends with Rachel’s mamm and that’s how Rachel found out about it. If Kristen were here she’d want to help, too, especially since it’s her daed’s shop we’ll be working on.”
“That is true. I think Rachel and Kristen could be gut friends, ain’t so? Maybe even sister-in-laws.” John elbowed his brudder.
“Vell, there goes your secret!” Daniel said with a wink.
Before John had a chance to answer, Daniel walked off.
John shook his head with a huge grin and went to get himself a cup of kaffee. The caffeine didn’t empty his mind of questions.
Would Kristen want to be approved for baptism instructions and accepted into the church? John couldn’t ask to court her otherwise. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t woo her in his own way. Then again, this all depended on Kristen’s choice. A choice not solely influenced by her feelings for him, but for everything such a life entailed. A calling that would come from deep within her from the Lord Himself.
~*~
There were now four large plastic bags lined up in the hallway. Three for the church and one for the trash. Kristen had put aside the fancy unused tablecloths, crystal candy dishes, and wine glasses, gifted to Ross from various clients. She hoped to sell them on eBay.
She’d saved her mother’s bedroom for last. Emotionally, it would be the hardest to clean out.
When she opened the top bureau drawer, the first thing she found was a pair of beautiful women’s tan leather gloves, never worn and still in the box. Most likely another gift. Then she came upon small boxes of jewelry. One contained a dainty silver chain link bracelet. Another a pair of jade earrings, and three others with rhinestone brooches. All of them appeared never worn. If only she had something of her mother’s as a keepsake.
The Internet FiOS connection would be a big draw for potential tenants requiring high speed Internet service. Still, she should have had Riley cancel it while the house had been empty, but she’d been in no shape to even think one coherent thought back then.
Kristen went to her room and turned on the computer. As far as she could tell, all was in working order. It’d been so long since she’d logged on to her e-mail. Back then, she was pretty near addicted to checking e-mail messages on a daily basis. There were four hundred twenty six messages. She scrolled down and scanned them. Most were spam mail. She picked out the messages from her friends and deleted the rest. Derick and Cindy were her most frequent contacts, followed by Lena, Michael, and the others in their little group. The messages were dated June except for a few early July dates.
“Why read them now? Whatever we had back then is over.” She clicked DELETE and stared at the screen. Seemed as if she’d deleted her entire past life away. Funny. It didn’t feel too bad at all. In fact, it felt kind of liberating.
She shut the computer off and headed back to her mom’s bedroom. The closet needed to be emptied. She’d do that next. She opened the door and stared at the contents.
The musical jingle of Kristen’s cell phone snapped her back to attention. She glanced at the number. Riley Gallagher.
“Hi, Riley. I meant to call and thank you for stopping by with my mail.”
“Hi, Kristen. No problem. In fact, I’m calling to let you know you have a few more pieces of mail that came today. A few bills and one letter postmarked, Lowville.”
Jacob. Kristen smiled.
“Oh, and there’s one with no return address. Looks like a letter, too.”
“Thanks, Riley. I’ll be heading out to get something to eat, so I can pass by and pick them up.”
“Tell you what. I’m stopping by The Fish Fry for some shrimp and fries. I can get you something and drop it off with the mail. What would you like?”
“Oh, wow! I’d love the same as you with a Coke.”
“You got it.”
A half hour later, Riley rang the bell with mail and a seafood lunch. They sat on the front porch to eat, but Kristen sorted through the mail before she sampled the crispy shrimp.
“What? Oh no! This better be a joke. And I have a feeling I know exactly who wrote this.” Her hands were shaking as she handed a letter to Riley.
You’re a tramp same as your mother. The seed doesn’t fall far from the tree...offspring of a woman who lived in sin unmarried to that pervert, Ross Maddok. You’re most likely their illegitimate daughter. One tramp down, one to go.
“This has to be from Alex Cook. He’s still being held in jail. Mattie refused to bail him out.” Riley folded the letter and slipped it into his pocket.
“I suppose it isn’t a joke then. He despises me just as he did my mother and Ross. What a difference from Jacob’s notes. He anonymously left notes for me to go back to where I came from out of concern. Alex’s note was out of pure hatred. But why even warn me with a threat?”
“Because he’s bullying you. He wants you just as scared as he is now. You’re safe here, nonetheless.” He excused himself and was back in what seemed less than a minute.
Kristen and Riley ate in silence. She only picked at her shrimp; her appetite gone. Just as they’d finished, a police car pulled up to the house. They stepped onto the porch with friendly greetings.
“Officers, thanks for being willing to watch the house until Kristen Esh is finished cleaning it out. Maybe another day or two?”
Kristen nodded to Riley. She’d leave immediately if she’d emptied her mom’s closet sooner.
A half hour later, Riley and the police were gone except for a patrol car parked outside. Kristen debated whether to tell the Waglers about this. It’d worry them so, especially John, who’d gotten quite upset when she’d arrived late from accompanying Cindy home. He seemed convinced that Alex wanted to harm her. And he might be right. She’d tell the family after she was back in Palatine safe and sound.
~*~
With the assurance of the police on guard, Kristen turned her attention to the first black plastic bag she came upon in her mom’s closet. When she opened it, the scent of cedar teased her nostrils. It contained a quilt. She pulled it from the bag and opened it out onto the floor. There were patches that had roses, pineapples, and hearts on them, all in subdued colors of greens, burgundy, and blues with a touch of brown.
“How pretty!” Why would her mom keep this hidden away? It would have looked beautiful on the bed. When Kristen turned it over, there was a piece of yellowed paper under it. She read the words: Our Wedding Quilt.
Wedding quilt? Had Mom and Jacob used this on their wedding night? She ran her hand over it with reverence, wondering if her mom had made it or if it was a gift.
She folded the quilt and laid it across the rocker. It was definitely going back with her to Palatine. Maybe Au
nt Elizabeth could tell her something about the design.
Then she turned her attention to the smaller of two worn suitcases. The material of it was faded and the zipper got stuck midway in opening it. She gave the zipper a forceful pull. It separated into a split, which meant it was now useless, but at least she’d gotten access to its contents.
“What’s this?” She removed the white tissue paper and uncovered a white kapp, a brown bonnet, and then a blue Plain dress with a matching apron, a brown apron and a cape. Under those was a pair of black stockings. She held them up, one at a time. They were in perfect condition. Carefully, she laid them on the bed beside her. She removed more tissue. A doll. The same kind that Anna had in her room. One without a face.
Kristen had been tempted to draw two eyes and a smile on it but thought better of it after Aunt Elizabeth explained that all Plain dolls were made that way to avoid a graven image.
“Was this Mom’s doll?” She lifted it out of the suitcase and hugged it. Mom must have played with this very doll when she’d been a little girl. Chills ran up Kristen’s spine. She had her keepsake.
She set the doll aside and took out a black book with the word, JOURNAL, across the front in simple silver letters. Under that was a piece of aluminum foil. She carefully unfolded it to find dried white daisies wrapped in waxed paper.
The first entry in the journal was dated, February 6, 1999. Wow! A little over seventeen years ago. She flipped through the pages, counting each date. The entire journal had only thirteen entries.
The closet could wait a tad longer. The police weren’t going anywhere so there was nothing to fear.
Kristen sat cross-legged on the floor next to the bed and began to read. She gasped at the first line.
Feb. 6, 1997
Dearest Lord,
It is with great joy and fear that I welcome the new life within me…
28
The words blurred, but Kristen read on. Her heart pulsed quicker and it took all of her willpower to keep her hands steady enough to hold the journal on her lap.
I am waiting for my news to arrive to Jacob. I think it will be a couple of days, maybe three at most. I wouldn’t think to ask him to leave his uncle in a fix, so it will be best if I go to Pennsylvania. We could publicly announce our marriage there and have our wedding celebration in autumn. We’ll stay until after the autumn harvest. By then his uncle will be set for winter.