by Linda Maran
Now that she’d finished reading the journal, her mother’s letter beckoned. The beach! Yes, the beach was the perfect place for reading the letter. But how could she go if the police were keeping an eye on the house? And wouldn’t it be risky?
No, Alex Cook would not intimidate her. She’d go out the back, under the backyard fence, with a baseball cap and her hair tucked under it. She knew how to go from yard to yard until she got to the corner of the block. Away from the police car.
Kristen wiped away the tears, put on her hat disguise, and made it through the backyards in no time. Several had no fencing between them, which made it much easier.
She hurried down Fourth Avenue toward the beach and got a whiff of someone’s barbecue. A few children were headed her way back from a day of sand and ocean, carrying small coolers and towels. She smiled at them and quickly walked onward.
Traffic hadn’t yet crowded Ocean Avenue, as it would in a couple of hours when the Friday night dinner crowd headed out in droves and the “bennies” arrived from the city.
Kristen checked for oncoming cars before crossing over to the boardwalk then made her way down to the beach. Most of the sunbathers were gone and the stretch of sand gleamed a warm topaz. She removed her flip-flops and continued to the shore. The wet sand cooled her feet as she slowed her gait to reminisce over the special times she and her mom had shared on their Sunday morning walks.
Lingering fear caused her to look in all directions for any sign of a suspicious looking person.
An older couple with a cooler set up beach chairs facing the sunset just a few yards from her. They provided a safety net.
The white crests of the waves took on a golden glint from the setting sun. The sky was a glorious shade of pink and orange. This is what Kristen wanted John to see. No description of it could compare with the real thing. Maybe he’d see it with her one day…everything was a maybe these days. When would she feel sure of her role in this life?
She moved just a few more yards to the rocky jetty. The tide was low and there were plenty of rocks to sit on. She found one with a flat surface, set her flip-flops down, took another look around, then sat, and opened the envelope. A brochure was tucked into the center of the letter as she unfolded it. The letter was dated the day of the fatal accident. Nausea washed over her.
Dear Kristen,
Happy Summer Off!
I’ve decided to take the summer off, too. I want to spend some time at last, with you, my dear daughter.
We can visit Lancaster, Pennsylvania and see some of the Amish countryside and sample the wonderful food there. Then we’ll go on to Upstate New York, and see more Amish settlements but without all the tourists and the shops that cater to them. Why the Amish? Because I’d like for you to see where I grew up in Stone Arabia, in Montgomery County.
I’m Amish, Kristen. And therefore, so are you. I’ve waited this long to tell you because you’re finally at an age to understand things…my baby, only a few months until you’re eighteen.
I’m sure you have many questions. Lancaster and Montgomery County are perfect places to fill you in about our Amish heritage…in the midst of rolling hills, pastures, barns, horses, and buggies, and a peaceful simple people. Our people, Kristen. I never want you to forget that. Deep inside, it’s who we are, dear girl. Who the Lord created us to be.
This is my last week of work, so we finally won’t be like two ships passing in the night. There’ll be less notes and more talking face to face in the future. I promised Ross that I’d go with him on the boat to meet Mattie for lunch at The Seafood Harbor today to discuss our plans and theirs. Meantime, look over the brochure and itinerary and see what you think.
Love, Mom
“It’s who we are. It’s who I am.” Kristen held the letter to her heart. “It’s who You want me to be, Lord.” She re-read the words again.
“Thanks, Mom. I think I know now what Jacob and my daed were trying to tell me that day we went for a walk.”
Kristen folded the letter back into the envelope, picked up her flip-flops and ran barefoot all the way back to the house. She had much to do.
~*~
As the sun went down, John, Daniel, and Jacob washed up at the outside pump and headed inside, anticipating the delicious meal Katie and Aenti Miriam had cooked.
“Is that something blueberry I smell?” Jacob walked over to the stove.
Katie waved him off. “Jah, it’s the blueberry cobbler Miriam made,” Katie told him as she lifted the platter of chicken to bring to the table.
“Lots of blueberries this time of year, so we best use ’em up.” Was Aenti Miriam blushing?
John enjoyed seeing his stoic aenti being young-at-heart and more than likely in lieb with Jacob Mast. He wondered what Kristen was doing. He missed her even more than he’d expected.
As if reading his mind, Aenti Miriam said, “I s’pose Kristen will be back before dinner on Tuesday. It’d be nice, Jacob, if you and Katie could join the familye for the evening meal.”
“Jah, that would be gut, ain’t so, Katie?”
“Jah, denki, Miriam.”
They bowed their heads for meal prayer.
Afterwards, Katie passed the platter of chicken, followed by creamed peas, small roasted potatoes, pickles, and biscuits.
If he and Kristen became a couple, John would be at this table many more times. He was comfortable with Jacob and Katie. It would be a nice surprise for Kristen to learn that Jacob would live and work in Stone Arabia from now on. But did this mean that she would come to live here with her daed and her aenti? Seemed only right for a dochter to live in her vadder’s haus. But it was also Katie’s haus. John began to worry. No more struggles for Kristen, Lord, please.
~*~
The morgen was cool as John brought the buggy around for Daed, Mamm, Mary, Daniel and Anna to head out for Preaching at the Stoltzfus’s place. As he hitched both horses to the larger buggy as he did every other Sunday for Preaching, he thought how Kristen would have to squeeze in…maybe next to him.
“A lovely morgen for the ride, jah?” Mary asked, settling in between Mamm and Anna.
“Jah. We’ll probably eat the common meal outdoors.” John turned to look at Anna as he said it. She loved eating outside. For Anna, the common meal today would be a big picnic. In actuality, it was just that. Kristen liked picnics, too. Waiting two more days for her to come home would feel more like two weeks.
When they arrived at the Stoltzfus’s place, fifteen minutes later, Tim Stoltzfus, the youngest son, was tending to the horses and buggies. It was still early so only a few familyes walked toward the large barn. The women and girls parted ways with the men and boys as they entered to sit on their separate sides.
John and Daniel walked with Daed toward their seats. John spotted Katie seated on the women’s side quietly chatting with one of the other women. He was glad for that.
She’d sat alone for church services long enough. Although sometimes Aenti Miriam sat with her. Both unmarried, they’d become close friends through the years, especially after Jacob had left. Only difference was, Aenti Miriam had Mamm, nieces, and nephews. Katie only had Jacob, and he’d been gone.
The woman that Katie was talking to kept touching the back of her kapp, as if checking to see if her bun was still there.
He smiled to himself. Just like Kristen used to do. He walked on then stopped.
Daed and Daniel turned to look at him, puzzled.
John whispered for them to go ahead.
Daniel shrugged and walked on, but Daed hesitated. He looked in the direction John’s gaze was focused on.
Katie caught their gaze first, smiled, and then fiddled with the Ausbund hymnal on her lap.
The young woman noted Katie’s distraction and turned.
“Kristen!” John’s voice was just a few decibels below being heard by all present in the barn.
A couple of heads turned.
“Shhhh, John. You’ll speak with Kristen afterward. It’s gut to
see her at the service, jah?” With a pleased smile, Daed patted John on the back and steered him to their seats.
The cooler weather did nothing to stop the fire John felt run through his entire body. Perspiration trickled down the back of his neck.
A few minutes later, Mamm, Mary, Anna, and then Aenti Miriam, were seated with Kristen and Katie. John couldn’t keep turning to look at them without attracting unwanted attention, so, he stared straight ahead, wondering how he could sit through the service for three or so hours with a calm composure.
She’s really here, isn’t she, Lord? It seemed too gut to be true. Kristen returned two days early. Is here at Preaching. And is dressed in the proper Plain church dress. Was this a dream? Had Kristen really given him such a radiant smile when she first turned and met his gaze?
~*~
The songs and the sermons seemed to take longer than any other time John had attended haus church. The chant-like tone of the singing soothed his erratic heartbeat. Kristen had looked genuinely happy to see him. He couldn’t wait to hear of her plans and why she’d returned two days early. How did she get here? Where did she get the Sunday church dress?
The nearly three hours had felt like thirty when the last hymn had ended and the congregants began to get up and walk outside. He joined the men to set up the church benches to serve as long tables not far from the haus. He scanned around and saw Kristen walking with Katie just past the barn.
Kristen held a large ball, probably for the children to amuse themselves after their meal.
“Throw it to me, Kristen.” Katie held out her arms, laughing. Kristen threw the ball to Katie, but instead of catching it, Katie looked to her left, then ran over to Kristen at deft speed, knocked her to the ground and fell atop of her just as a gun shot went off. Katie didn’t move.
Kristen screamed from beneath her.
John nearly turned the table over in his rush to get to them. The other men soon followed. Jacob, Daed and Daniel were at his side in what seemed like an instant. Women rushed the children inside.
“What happened?” Jacob’s question sounded like the wail of a wounded animal as he knelt beside a limp Katie and a shrieking Kristen.
“Someone must have been aiming a gun Kristen’s way, and Katie saw the shooter and jumped on Kristen to block the bullet.” John’s voice came out in rushed breaths. “We need to call the sheriff to stop whoever did this, or he might try it again.”
Several men rushed away to get help.
Others began to search the area behind the barn and the corn field beyond it.
Kristen cried out hysterically. “Aunt Katie! Aunt Katie! Talk to me. Please don’t be dead. Aunt Katie!”
Jacob and Daed lifted Katie off of Kristen. A splotch of blood darkened the left area of Katie’s dress and the back of Kristen’s.
Mamm and Aenti Miriam helped Kristen up from the ground and led her away toward the haus. Kristen kept turning back to Katie, sobbing and barely able to walk but for the support of Mamm and Aenti Miriam.
An hour later, John walked into the kitchen to find Kristen lying on the small sofa with a wet rag on her head. “I got news.”
“What is it John? Is Katie…” Aentie Miriam turned her face into her handkerchief.
“She was taken to the hospital and is in surgery. The doctors think she will be OK. The bullet lodged in between the ribs and just missed her lung. Jacob and Daed will stay there until she is out of surgery.”
“Who in the world tried to shoot our Kristen?” Mamm asked in nearly a whisper, as if Kristen might not hear.
“Seems that Alex Cook fellow got his bail after all. His daed put up the money. The police apprehended Alex in the cornfield. He was high as a kite and got disoriented.”
“But John, how did he spot Kristen, dressed Plain like the rest of us?” Aentie Miriam stared at him with confused eyes.
“I heard Katie call out her name to catch the ball. That must have been his cue while he watched from his hiding place in the bushes.”
“And how did he know she was here to begin with?”
“Mattie Cook slipped up and told him. Said she would never pay his bail so that he could follow Kristen to Stone Arabia. Alex was doing a lot of talking, flying high as he was. Vell, no matter. He’ll not be causing further trouble for anyone.”
“Thank the sweet Lord.” Mamm breathed a sigh of relief. “Did you hear that, Kristen? They caught the awful man who tried to shoot you.”
“But he shot Aunt Katie. I might be dead now if she hadn’t seen Alex. Then he’d have his wish. Poor Aunt Katie. I should have stayed in Bradley Beach and none of this would have happened here.”
Mamm’s lips pressed into a thin line. “Now you hush up about all of that. We’re familye and any one of us would lay down our life for the other. Just like it says in scripture.”
Kristen raised herself to a sitting position. “But my mom was shunned. And she was familye, too. What if she turned up here with me out of the blue? You wouldn’t speak to her or have anything to do with her. And Jacob was worried that some people around here would hold her past actions against me. That was why he wrote those notes.”
“Kristen, your mamm did things in a hasty fearful way. Not knowing the truth, she panicked. If she would have returned after all these years with you and the truth she’d learned in tow, our bishop would velkum her back into the church and community for sure and for certain. And not a tongue would wag for it.” Mamm sat down beside her now. Her face held a reassurance of her words.
“Can I go to the hospital to see Katie?” Kristen’s eyes held a silent plea as she looked to John.
“Not today, Kristen. The doctor told us that only Jacob could go in to visit her after she comes out of surgery. Maybe tomorrow will be a better time. I’ll see if Angela could drive us. Meantime, we’ll all pray for Katie.”
Kristen was worried about Katie. Truth be told, so was he. Of all the people to save Kristen—the one who’d kept her mom and Jacob apart. The Lord worked in strange ways.
At the crack of dawn John stepped into the kitchen to find the table set and pancakes sizzling on the stove.
“Kristen! Are you feeling up to this?” She had on another Plain dress and a kapp. “Sure. I finally beat your mother down to the kitchen. Besides, I couldn’t sleep worrying about Aunt Katie.”
“We’ll call Angela right after breakfast to drive us to the hospital. Where’d you get the black boots?” He’d never seen her wear those before.
“I found them in my mom’s closet, along with the Plain dress and kapp I had on yesterday. It was like a small sign from God when they all fit.”
“A sign?”
“Yes. That I’m to be Amish. Just like Mom intended.”
John’s sense of elation required a breath of fresh air. “If the pancakes are done, maybe you can come to the barn with me while I milk the cows. Can’t have you forgetting how to do it if you’ll be living Amish.”
Just then Anna came down and began making the kaffee.
“While you do that, Anna, I’m going to help John milk the cows. Can you tell your mamma if she comes down before we get back?”
“I’ll tell her, Kristen. But hurry back so the pancakes are still warm.”
“Jah, little mamma,” John teased.
~*~
Kristen wasn’t sure that her ribcage would hold in her heart much longer, the way it pounded so hard. She stood and followed John to the barn.
When they entered, he motioned for her to sit on a bale of hay next to him.
“It’s gut to see you looking calm and settled this morgen.” His blue eyes searched her face, as if waiting for a confirmation of his words.
“Yes, I am calmer and feel more settled now. I just want Aunt Katie to be all right, and then I’ll be OK, too. Right here.”
He cocked his head.
“John, you know how hard I’ve been trying to find out who I really am? Right?”
He nodded.
“Well, this is where I
’m supposed to be. Mom’s journal and her letter helped me sort it all out. It was as if a light got turned on inside of me.”
“Gott has answered your prayers—and mine. Jah?”
“Jah. I know now that God is guiding me.” Kristen locked her gaze into John’s happy eyes—eyes that turned their focus to her lips.
She drew closer to him and as his mouth touched hers, she sank into his warm loving embrace. Heartbeat against heartbeat, his kiss so intense yet gentle.
When their lips parted, John smiled and his words came soft and tender.
“I’m in lieb with you, Kristen Esh. I’m glad you’re where Gott has willed you to be, here, in Stone Arabia. With me.”
“I’m in lieb with you too, John Wagler. It’s good to be…home. With you.” She smiled back at him then settled into his strong arms. Complete at last.
Epilogue
October
Aunt Katie taught me how to make all things blueberry during her convalescence. She’d give the instructions with a watchful eye and I’d mix and bake.
We celebrated two birthdays in the same week this month. That meant two of Aunt Elizabeth’s delicious birthday cakes to feast on…one for John’s twenty-first birthday last Tuesday, and another for my eighteenth birthday that Friday. We both received homemade cards from each member of the family—so personal and special. There’s no comparing those to elaborate gifts or delivered flowers.
I gave John my treasured little heart-shaped bottle filled with sand from Bradley Beach and the largest package of yellow cheese I could find. John gave me a small wooden box that contained a sparkling mica rock of the area and a lone white beach shell. The words, we complement one another, were written on a small slip of bark paper he’d rested atop them.
I’m all finished with my baptism and German classes. John has polished the open two-seat buggy, and we’re now officially a courting couple. By early fall next year Aunt Elizabeth will waste no time in planting the celery, which I’m told is a big part of an Amish wedding in our district. It grows well in the cooler climate here. I learn new things about the Plain life every day.
I showed Daed Mom’s wedding quilt, and he confirmed that it had been theirs. All the women in the family had made it for them at a quilting bee to be given as a gift on their wedding day. It had never been used. But soon enough it will grace the bed John and I will share.