The Girl He Used to Love

by Amy Vastine

  “Awesome!” Sawyer gave Hayden a high five. The pride on the little girl’s face was priceless.

  Faith told Dean to move Sassy forward. She placed her hand on Hayden’s leg. “Victory lap for doing so well today.”

  The one summer Dean worked at Helping Hooves, Faith had been the one in charge of leading the horses while Dean and various volunteers were side walkers. It was different without Big John Stratton running the show, but Dean was impressed with how well Sawyer and Faith worked together.

  Sawyer had been such a little kid last time Dean was here. He didn’t remember much about him except that he’d loved to annoy Faith and Addison when they’d hung out on the farm. All grown up, he and his sister had a mutual respect for one another and a real partnership. It made Dean wonder once again what things would be like if Addison was around.

  “Would you take Sassy back to the barn for me while I stretch Hayden?” Faith asked her brother.

  “Sure.” He loosened the girth strap on the horse and took the lead rope from Dean. “Come on, Music Man. You can help me.”

  Faith looked like she wanted to protest but held back. Dean had to take advantage of this chance to get Sawyer alone.

  “So, I sent some of the videos I shot of you singing at the picnic to my partner back in Nashville,” Dean said, tying Sassy up in the tack room.

  Sawyer undid the girth strap and folded it over the seat of the saddle. “Oh, yeah? I didn’t realize you were recording me. That was pretty rough stuff, not polished at all.”

  “He loved it. Thinks the same thing I’m thinking.”

  Lifting the saddle off Sassy, Sawyer was sure to raise it high enough so it didn’t hit her back. “What are you thinking exactly?”

  Dean did his part by removing the saddle pad. “We think there’s a ton of potential. It would help if you had a little social media presence, though. Would you be willing to start a couple accounts? I could help you set everything up. Even post a few things for you until you get the hang of it.”

  Sawyer had moved to the other side of the room in search of a brush. “I’m not real big into social media. Faith set up a Facebook account for this place and neither one of us knows what to do with it.”

  “That’s why I’d help. I’m not talking about having to send out Tweets every five minutes. I’m thinking something simple to showcase your sound. Get some feedback from the public, build an audience.”

  Sawyer thought it over while giving Sassy a brush-down. Dean offered to check her hooves to be helpful. The horse kicked a little when he tried to put her foot between his knees. This part of working with horses didn’t come back as easily as the others.

  “I’ve got a lot of connections in the music business,” Dean continued. He couldn’t stand Sawyer’s silence. “If you let me, I can help you. Once my partner sees there’s a buzz around you, he’ll be on board with signing you.”

  “I’ll think about it, but I’m going to be honest—my sister needs me here. If I go off to Nashville, I worry she’s going to kill herself trying to keep this place running alone. She’s not real good at asking for help or saying no to someone who needs hers.”

  Dean could picture Faith working herself into an early grave because she felt like she had to do everything—for herself, her clients, her horses, her friends, her neighbors... The list went on and on.

  “We can talk to her, together, when it comes time. I think you should make this decision based on what you want, though. Not what’s best for Faith.”

  Sawyer stopped brushing and seemed to be weighing his words. “No offense, I know you haven’t had a sister to worry about for a few years now, but that’s not the way things work in this family. We don’t have anything but each other. That means something to me. It means something to her. Decisions are made based on what’s best for the both of us. Always.”

  * * *

  FAITH HELD HER BREATH and pressed her back against the wall outside the tack room. Her heart beat so hard, she feared it would alert Dean and Sawyer to her presence.

  “I respect that,” she heard Dean say.

  Did he?

  She had no idea what they were talking about before she’d heard her brother assert that they would always have each other’s backs no matter what, but assumed it had to be about going to Nashville.

  She was proud of her brother for not being blinded by Dean’s big promises. And she wanted to strangle Dean for making them. He must have forgotten how important this place was to their family. Without Sawyer, she’d never manage.

  Just as Faith was about the reveal herself, Lily came storming into the barn. “I am so sorry for being late, Faith. I have no idea why I thought I didn’t have to be here until four thirty.”

  The boom of her voice startled the horses in their stalls and added to the noise. Faith jumped. She often had this fear that one of these days she was going to fall over from a heart attack like her dad, and getting sneaked up on was not helping ease that concern.

  Sawyer stepped out of the tack room. “You guys scared the living daylights out of us.”

  “I’m real sorry for freaking everyone out, for being late, for everything,” Lily said in a rush.

  “Why don’t you help Sawyer put Sassy back in her stall and then grab a shovel to help Kylie in the paddock? You and I can have a talk about what’s really going on later.”

  “You’re making me shovel manure? I said I was sorry,” Lily whined.

  “‘Sorry’ doesn’t clean my paddock.”

  Lily glowered at Faith but went to get Sassy in the tack room. Josie was a saint. How parents survived the teenage years, Faith would never know.

  Dean stepped out into the wide aisle that ran the length of the barn. The wariness in his eyes led Faith to believe he was worried about what she had overheard.

  “How long were you standing out here snooping?”

  He raised her hackles. “I don’t think walking through my barn is snooping. Is there something you were talking about that you didn’t want me to hear?”

  “I have nothing to hide.”

  “Oh, good to know. I think we both know how things can go downhill real fast when there are secrets between siblings. I sure hope you aren’t putting Sawyer in a position to have to keep stuff from me.”

  Dean moved toward her with enough fire in his eyes to cause her to step back. “He’s not a kid. He doesn’t need your permission to do things.”

  “What do you want him to do, exactly?”

  “Hey, can you two take your little spat somewhere else?” Sawyer asked, leading Sassy out of the tack room. “You’re making Duchess anxious.”

  In the far stall, the horse snorted and shook her head. Faith walked down there to check on her. Duchess was unhappy, to say the least.

  “It’s okay, girl. Everything’s okay,” Faith tried to reassure her.

  Duchess shook her head as if to say, No, it’s not.

  “Isn’t that a bad thing when she shakes like that?” Dean asked, coming up behind Faith.

  He’d worked there for one summer twelve years ago and he thought he was some sort of expert. “She’s flustered with you—like I am.”

  “Remember when Big John used to sing to the horses? Duchess used to whinny the loudest when he’d do that.”

  Suddenly, Faith understood what it was like for Dean that day in the car when she’d brought up Addison unexpectedly. Faith’s emotions were already heightened and thinking about her dad wasn’t helping.

  “Just because I remember doesn’t mean I want to talk about it,” she said, using his own words against him.

  She went to move past him but he grabbed her arm to stop her. “I deserved that.”

  Faith closed her eyes and willed the tears to stay away. She hated being mean. Behaving this way didn’t make her feel better, o
nly worse.

  “It’s a fresh wound.”

  Dean dipped his head close to hers. “I know. I’m sorry,” he said in a low voice that sent a shiver down her spine. He smelled like expensive cologne. He had always had a love for the finer things in life. “Your dad was a good man. I have nothing but respect for who he was, and he was good with these animals. I learned a lot from him when I worked here.”

  She opened her wet eyes and chewed on her lip. Her dad had been the best. It couldn’t have been easy, raising two kids on his own, but he’d never used being a single dad as an excuse. He’d sacrificed and went out of his way to be present and available for Faith and Sawyer.

  “He was a terrible singer, but the horses loved it,” Sawyer chimed in. “They don’t respond to me the way they did him. Maybe they’re tone-deaf.”

  Dean let go of her arm but stayed close.

  Faith wanted to move but couldn’t. Her feet stayed planted and her body leaned toward his like it didn’t care what her brain thought was best.

  “What song did he used to sing?” he asked.

  Sawyer replied, “Anything Garth Brooks.”

  Faith had lost the ability to speak. The knot in her stomach had moved up and become a lump in her throat.

  Dean laughed through his nose. “Good ol’ Garth.” He turned from Faith and rested his arm on the stall door. “Got any requests, Duch?”

  As off-key as her dad, Dean broke into song until Duchess relaxed and let out a soft nicker. Faith had thought she’d had all her feelings for him under control until he serenaded her horse. Everything went right back to complicated.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  DWIGHT ANDERSON’S COVERALLS had more grease on them than could have possibly been in one car. He wasn’t the cleanest auto mechanic around, but he was the most trusted. Dean’s mother swore by him.

  “Since you only have a little over 30,000 miles on it, your insurance company is opting to fix it rather than junk it, but you pretty much need the guts of this car replaced.”

  “How long will something like that take?”

  Dwight scratched his head, his fingernails as black as his coveralls. “Well, we need to remove the door panels and trunk liner, clean the carpets and floor mats, replace the seat bottoms, get a new engine since there’s water in the cylinders, drain the rear end and transmission, and replace the brakes. Of course, there’s also that tire that needs fixin’. I’d say it’ll take a month.”

  Dean’s precious BMW had paid the price for his bad luck. He loved that car, though, and if they needed a month to get it back in tip-top shape, then Dwight and his grease would get their month.

  Dwight snatched a set of keys from the wooden key rack that hung next to his register. “Good news is that they pay for a rental car while it’s in the shop.”

  Dean wasn’t sure driving around in a 1995 green Ford Taurus was good news. The old car had more miles than all the vehicles he had ever owned combined. It was the only car for rent in all of Grass Lake, so Dean didn’t have a lot of options. Only problem was, he wasn’t confident it could make it all the way to Nashville.

  One month was a long time to be away from home. Heading back to Nashville seemed like the best thing for him to do. He had survived a second night in his parents’ house, but surviving wasn’t the same thing as sleeping. Another night of dreams that were more like flashbacks led to restlessness. Strangely enough, it was still Faith who starred in the dreams, not Addison.

  He parked his “new” wheels in one of the open spaces along Main Street. Dean planned to meet his mom for lunch at the Cup and Spoon. The black lampposts lining the street were decorated with red, white and blue bows for the upcoming Memorial Day parade.

  A bell rang above the door to Harriet’s Flower Shop. Flowers would soften the blow that he would be leaving town as soon as possible. The scent of roses hit him the second he stepped inside.

  “Well, well. Look who’s here.” Harriet, dressed in bright purple from head to toe, was putting together an arrangement at the counter. Just behind her sat none other than Faith.

  Her dark hair was pulled back from her face and a loose braid was draped over her shoulder. Those big brown eyes were framed in lashes so thick she didn’t need to wear any makeup. The apples of her cheeks matched the color of the pink peonies Harriet stuck in the vase.

  “How are you doing, Harriet? You’re looking lovely as always.” He walked over and gave her a hug.

  “I roll out of bed looking fabulous. What can I say?” she replied, making Faith laugh. “What? I do. And then I do my hair and my makeup and I go from fabulous to unforgettable.”

  She wasn’t lying. Harriet had a way of drawing all eyes on her. At least that was usually true; right now, Dean’s eyes were locked on Faith. She was another reason to hightail it out of Grass Lake. She was as infuriating as she was alluring. One minute he wanted to scream at her, the next he wanted to kiss her until it erased all the hurt between them.

  “Helping with the inventory?” he asked her.

  “I’m horrible with computers,” Harriet said, bringing the attention back to her. “I know how to turn them on and that’s the extent of my abilities.”

  “I’m meeting my mom for lunch. I thought it’d be nice to get her some flowers.”

  “Isn’t that sweet?” Harriet’s hand covered her heart. “Let me pull something together for you.”

  While she glided around the store gathering a variety of blooms, Dean stepped up to the counter. Faith shifted her focus back on the computer screen.

  “Your mom will be pleasantly surprised.”

  “I wasn’t planning on getting flowers, but when I got out of the car, the shop was right there, calling me in. I forget what it’s like to be in a town where everything you need is on one street.”

  “Small towns have some advantages,” she said, running her finger down a list of numbers.

  Dean cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably. Carrying on a conversation with Faith shouldn’t be so difficult. It didn’t help that this was the place Addison had spent so much time the last few years of her life. He could picture her sticking flowers in her hair and making daisy chains to drape over everything.

  “So, my car isn’t going to be a total loss.”

  “That’s good.”

  “Dwight has to basically replace everything, but hopefully it’ll be good as new when I get it back in a month.”

  Faith stopped what she was doing and glanced back up at him. “A month?”

  Harriet returned with the perfect mix of flowers for his mother. She wrapped them in her signature gingham kraft paper and tied them up in a pink bow.

  Handing them over, she said, “You tell your mom that I said hello, okay?”

  “How much do I owe you?”

  Harriet waved him off. “On the house. Such a sweet gesture deserves a reward.”

  Dean shook his head and pulled out his wallet. “I can’t do that. Let me pay you something.”

  “Return the kindness when you get the chance,” Harriet replied. “That’s how you can pay me—by paying it forward.”

  Arguing wouldn’t get him anywhere. He gave her a nod and said his goodbyes. Faith chewed on her lip and didn’t spare him another look.

  It was a short walk to the Cup and Spoon Diner. His mom was already seated at a table when he got inside. She sipped coffee and read the Grass Lake Gazette, unaware of his arrival. The diner hadn’t changed in the twelve years he’d been gone.

  The glass display case filled with fresh-baked pies, cakes and cookies was the first thing customers saw upon entering. Five booths big enough to sit four people each lined one wall of the narrow space while the counter on the other side sat another seven patrons. The red-vinyl-and-chrome stools gave the place a pop of color. Dean noticed the daily specials w
ere still painted above prep stations on the other side.

  He set the flowers on the table where his mom was seated.

  “Are those for me?”

  “They are,” he said, bending down to kiss her on the cheek. He took a seat across from her.

  Picking them up, she inhaled their sweet scent. The smile that spread across her face was worth every awkward minute he had spent in the flower shop.

  “Harriet put them together. I can’t take any of the credit.”

  “She does beautiful work, doesn’t she? I always imagined her doing the flowers for your sister’s wedding,” she said wistfully. “You know Addison, she would have wanted flowers, flowers and more flowers.”

  Addison had loved everything about nature. Since Harriet was so close to the Strattons, she had taken Addison under her wing, as well, teaching her everything she knew about flowers and plants.

  “She would have.” Dean took the menu from the holder on the table. He didn’t want to dwell on yet another thing Addison would never get to experience.

  Even the menu was the same since the last time he had eaten at the Cup and Spoon. Not only did they still have the same daily specials, but customers could order breakfast all day long and the featured kid’s meal was the smiley-face pancake with chocolate chips.

  “So, what did Dwight say about the car? Is it totaled?”

  Dean explained the car situation. When he got to the part about it taking a month to fix, his mother nearly jumped out of her seat.

  “You’re staying for a month! This is wonderful!”

  That wasn’t how he wanted this to go. The flowers were supposed to help lighten the blow of hearing he was leaving. “Mom, I have to get back to Nashville. I have to get back to work.”

  Her face fell. “You can’t do work from here? What do you do there that you can’t do from here for a little bit?”

  “Meet with artists, attend important budget meetings. Not to mention I’m wearing clothes that I bought at Hugo’s.”