The Girl He Used to Love

by Amy Vastine

Hugo’s was the town’s makeshift department store. Growing up, they’d gone to Hugo’s three times a year—in the fall to buy new clothes for school, at Christmastime to see Santa and shop for gifts, and in the spring to get all the summer essentials.

  “My computer—my life—is back in Nashville. I need to go home.”

  “Couldn’t you have an assistant bring you some things? Or I could drive you up there right now and you could pack for a real visit while Dwight works on your car.”

  He hadn’t expected her to be so insistent. Before he could tell her he didn’t want to do any of those things, the waitress came by to take their orders. His mom ordered the same thing she always got when they came here: the BLT with fresh-cut fries. She was so much like Faith; both of them somehow found comfort in surrounding themselves in the past.

  “When are you leaving?” she asked.

  “Today.” He knew she’d hate hearing it, but there wasn’t a good reason to stick around.

  “Today? I was hoping you’d be here long enough to help your dad trim that tree in the backyard. I’m nervous about him climbing a ladder and doing the work himself. His back hasn’t been the same since he slipped this past winter.” She sighed and glanced out the window. “But I guess we’ll just have to hire someone.”

  Guilt made his stomach ache more than hunger. She had never really made him feel bad about not coming home. Of everyone, his mom seemed to understand why he had to exile himself. His unexpected visit had obviously given her hope that things were different.

  Were they?

  A little girl and her dad were seated at the counter. They had been eating when Dean came in. The waitress brought over a sundae with two spoons for father and daughter to share.

  When Dean was a kid, his mom would bring him and Addison downtown in the summer and they’d pick up their dad at the bank. The teller would let them each have a lollipop before they left to the have lunch at the diner. If they finished everything on their plates, their dad would buy them ice cream or a slice of pie. Addison always got a hot-fudge sundae.

  The memory left more of a warm feeling in Dean’s chest than the sharp pain that usually accompanied his thoughts of Addison. Maybe things were a little different.

  His mom picked up the flowers he had given her and gave them another sniff. Harriet’s request that he pay forward her kindness sank in.

  “I guess I could stay to help dad with whatever he needs to get done,” he said. Her eyes lit up like it was Christmas morning. “But I have to go back eventually.”

  “I know, honey. Thank you for giving me a little more time with you.” She reached over to cover his hand with hers. “I’ll try to remember that when you leave this time, you’ll be back. That’s something.”

  * * *

  “WE COULD CLOSE UP for lunch and head over to the Cup and Spoon,” Harriet offered.

  “I need a few more minutes to finish things up for you.” Faith’s focus had been scattered since Dean had showed up. Why was he everywhere she was lately? One of the disadvantages of a small town.

  “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you.”

  Harriet looked like a plum today. She was even wearing purple shoes. Her quirkiness always made Faith smile. “Well, I appreciate you, so we’re even.”

  “I shouldn’t have been so nice to our friend Mr. Presley. I guess I was hoping he’d pay the kindness forward to you.”

  “What?”

  “He broke your heart. Even though you can’t seem to hold a grudge, I could have.”

  Faith had to laugh. “I don’t want you to hold that against him. He lost his sister. I can’t blame him for being angry and hurt.”

  “You lost your best friend. I lost my protégé. His parents lost their daughter. We were all devastated by losing her. His emotions don’t excuse his behavior.”

  It was a good point, but Faith wasn’t sure what to do with it. She had tried venting her own frustration and it had only made her feel worse. Their relationship was forever scarred by what had happened. It was clear that neither one knew how to proceed.

  Faith had less than an hour to eat lunch once she finished her work for Harriet. She searched her purse for her sunglasses. The cloudless sky provided no relief from the heat they were experiencing lately. She worried about Duchess in this weather. They had put a call in to the horse vet this morning.

  “If we get breakfast food, we should be able to get in and out,” Harriet said, holding open the door to the Cup and Spoon.

  Dean lifted his head the moment Faith stepped into the diner. He acknowledged her with a wave, causing his mom to turn around to see who had walked in.

  “Hey, sweetheart,” she called out. Faith raised a hand, knowing exactly what Mrs. Presley was going to say. “Come join us!”

  They had their drinks but no food. “I don’t want to bother you. It’s not often you get your son to yourself,” Faith said. It was valiant attempt but shot down immediately.

  “It’s fine. We were just talking about your brother. Come, sit.” Instead of offering the seat next to her, she motioned for Faith to slide in next to Dean.

  Harriet and Mrs. Presley exchanged greetings and Mrs. Presley called the waitress over to get their orders.

  “Do you want to look at a menu?” Dean asked.

  “Regulars like us don’t need the menu,” Harriet said, jumping right into her omelet order.

  Faith tried to ignore the way her body seemed to respond to sitting so close to Dean. She made a concerted effort to keep space between them. When he had touched her in the stables last night, it was like going back in time.

  The conversation between the four of them was strained. Mrs. Presley asked how things were going on the farm. She promised to come volunteer one of these days, which led to a discussion about the joys of retirement. Mrs. Presley had been retired from her job as the elementary school nurse for almost a year.

  “I guess I thought I’d be more bored, but there’s always something to do, some project to take on at the house. My closets have never been so organized.”

  “That’s really sad, Mom,” Dean said before finishing off his Coke. “If the only thing I have to look forward to in retirement is an organized shoe rack, I think I’d rather work until I die.”

  “Well, hopefully when your father retires, we’ll travel.”

  “Josie has been to every country in Europe at least once,” Faith said. “She promises to take me to a place in Italy called the Cinque Terre someday. You should go there.”

  “Remind me to look that up when we get back to the house,” Mrs. Presley said to Dean.

  “How is Josie these days?” Harriet asked.

  “She’s good. Lily’s getting inducted into the National Honor Society tonight. I’m sure she’s feeling like a proud mama.”

  “Oh, my gosh, remember the year you and Addison were inducted?” Mrs. Presley laughed so hard the man at the counter turned around to see what was so funny.

  Faith’s shoulders tensed. Talking about Addison was a no-no around Dean. She waited for him to ask his mom to change the subject.

  “Was that when she cartwheeled across the stage?” he asked instead.

  “In her dress.” Mrs. Presley cried, she was laughing so hard. “Your father was mortified.”

  Faith decided to go with it. Maybe the longer Dean stayed, the more he could handle. “My father was mortified. We drove home and he made me promise to never to show my underwear to a room full of people.”

  Mrs. Presley wiped under her eyes. “That girl was crazy.”

  Everyone else nodded. Faith felt her throat tighten. She glanced at Dean, sure his jaw would be clenched. He turned and smiled at her.

  “Remember the time I let you two come with me to the library and after being there like, a half hour, she stood up and aske
d if someone could turn up the music because she needed to dance?”

  “And there was no music.” Faith clearly remembered her best friend “getting jiggy with it” in the middle of the young adult section of the Grass Lake Library.

  “I was studying for a really tough history final, too,” Dean said. “I was ready to strangle her.”

  “I was so embarrassed. I think I hid in the bathroom.”

  “I think you did. We couldn’t find you and I wanted to leave,” Dean said with a smile on his face. “You two were such a pain in the butt.”

  Faith wasn’t sure what was happening, but it felt good to reminisce with him. She tried not to overthink it. He had to be leaving Grass Lake soon and they’d go back to being strangers.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  “WE SHOULD TELL HER.”

  “We will...later.”

  “She keeps asking me why I’m so happy lately.”

  He grinned so wide he thought his face might split in two. “Do I make you happy?” He kissed her in that spot just under her earlobe.

  He could feel her melt in his arms. They had been hiding in the hay stall for a while. Her father might come looking for them soon, but Dean couldn’t bring himself to leave this place. Propped up by hay bales, he held his girl close. She sat between his outstretched legs and leaned back against him.

  “You make me the happiest.”

  He could say the same, and making her happy was all he wanted. There was something about Faith that made him want to protect her. He wanted to shield the goodness inside her from every bad thing there was in the world.

  It was different than wanting to take care of her. Faith didn’t need him to do that. She was strong. She took care of her dad and the horses. She watched over her brother. Without her mother around, she’d had to grow up fast. Maybe that was why their age difference didn’t bother him. Faith was more mature than most of the girls at Belmont.

  “Telling Addison will make you unhappy because my sister won’t understand and she won’t want me to be the reason you’re happy.”

  “It’s just so hard. I met this guy and he’s perfect. He has the prettiest eyes and a nice car. He has big biceps and is the best kisser I have ever kissed.”

  “How many kissers have you kissed?” He tickled her sides when she refused to answer, making her squirm and giggle.

  She turned her body to face him. “Not many, but enough to know you’re the best.” She pressed her lips to his. The kiss was soft and innocent, like her, until it quickly turned heated.

  He had to stop before they went further than either of them was ready to go. “So everything you like about me is completely superficial. Is that what you’re telling me?”

  She gave him a look that said she took exception to his observation. “What I’m trying to say is that I want to tell my best friend I’m in love with this amazing guy and I can’t even tell her that there is a guy.”

  They’d been sneaking around for two months. Stealing moments here and there while they worked on the farm. Hanging out whenever Addison had to work. Showing their affection for one another in subtle ways and tiny gestures. They hadn’t labeled what they were to one another or told each other how they felt.

  Love.

  She had said it first, but that didn’t mean she’d been the first one to feel it.

  “You love me?”

  Faith hid her face in the crook of his neck. “Did I say that out loud?”

  “Look at me,” he said, coaxing her to show him those eyes.

  Warily, she lifted her head and grimaced. “Go ahead, tell me how I’m too young and I don’t know what I’m talking about. Tell me you think I’m really sweet, but I shouldn’t get my hopes up that this could be something real.”

  Instead of telling her what he was thinking, he showed her. He cradled her cheek in his hand and he kissed her so she felt it from head to toe. He pulled back just enough to whisper the words against her lips.

  “I love you, too, silly girl.”

  * * *

  “DEAN!” HIS MOTHER’S words jarred him from his late-afternoon nap. He almost fell off the couch. “Were you asleep?” she asked, coming around the other side of the couch so she could see him.

  Dean sat up and scratched the back of his head. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep. He was trying to watch some YouTube videos and the combination of lack of sleep and a full belly had knocked him out.

  “I can’t remember the last time I took a nap in the middle of the day. This town is seriously detrimental to my work ethic.” He yawned and pulled his phone out from in between the seat cushions where it had fallen while he was passed out. The flowers he had given her were sitting in a vase on the antique side table.

  “You deserve a little break from work. When was the last time you took a vacation?” his mom said, fluffing the couch pillows he had knocked onto the floor. There was no time for vacations. There was only time to find the next big thing. There was only time for making sure Piper was happy and helping Boone find a way to get the music back in his soul where it belonged.

  “How long was I out?” The room was full of shadows and he was quickly reminded of his dream. He rubbed his lips to make sure they weren’t as swollen as they had felt when he was kissing Faith. Those kisses had happened, only they’d happened a long time ago.

  “I don’t know, but it’s late. Your dad will be home anytime now. Any dinner requests?”

  “Pizza.”

  “You want me to order pizza?”

  Dean shook his head. “No, I need to run out. I’m going to grab dinner on my own, okay?”

  His mother’s concern creased her forehead. “Are you all right?”

  That was debatable. “I’m good.” He kissed her cheek. “I’ll be back.”

  * * *

  GRASS LAKE HIGH SCHOOL’S auditorium seated eight hundred people, which was almost the entire population of the small town. It was great for the school play performances but made the group of family and friends there to cheer on their honor student look pretty tiny.

  Faith browsed the program she’d been handed when they’d arrived. Josie leaned over and whispered, “When you see her after the ceremony, could you please tell her that her dress is beautiful? She changed eight times before we got here and wanted to put on something else one minute before we left and I wouldn’t let her. She’s sure I’m the devil who wants her to look horrible.”

  Lily, like nearly every teenage girl, never saw herself the way everyone else did. Faith was certain she knew she was pretty, but often felt she wasn’t pretty enough. It reminded her of Addison, who’d had all the confidence in the world except when it came to her appearance.

  “I’ll make sure to slip that in. Not that my opinion matters much.”

  “Oh, are you kidding me?” Josie huffed. “What you think carries way more weight than what I think. You’re young and gorgeous. She thinks you can do no wrong, while I’m an old hag who knows nothing.”

  “I can’t wait to have teenagers.” Faith laughed before adding, “And you’re hardly an old hag. Look at you—you’ve got a good...three years before you hit old-hag status.”

  Josie elbowed her friend hard and they both giggled like the teenagers, garnering the attention of another parent in front of them. Faith apologized as the lights dimmed, signaling the start.

  Faith had forgotten how boring these types of things were. She found her mind wandering right away. She thought about Duchess and the way she seemed to be getting worse, not better. She thought about the new mounting ramp Sawyer was building and hoped he was following NETA’s specifications to a tee. But her thoughts dwelled longest on Dean and how good his laughter had sounded and how handsome he was when he smiled.

  When the kids were called up to the stage, tears welled in her eyes as she imagin
ed Addison doing cartwheels. Sharing memories with the people who loved Addison today had been therapeutic. She hoped Dean had walked away feeling the same.

  When it was all over, Faith handed Lily a small bouquet of flowers Harriet had helped her put together. “I’m so proud of you even though I can take no credit for how smart and beautiful you are. That dress is adorable, by the way.”

  Josie gave her a thumbs-up and mouthed a thank-you from behind her daughter.

  “Thanks for coming, Faith. I really appreciate it.”

  Faith knew what it was like to not have two parents. Having Harriet show up to important events and the Presleys in her corner had meant the world to Faith growing up. She was happy to return the favor. Paying it forward, as Harriet would say.

  “Did you see Kylie? She said she was going to come.” Lily stood on her tiptoes and surveyed the crowd of parents and siblings scattered around the hall outside the auditorium.

  “I didn’t see her,” Faith said. “Maybe her parents couldn’t drive her over here. I’m sorry I didn’t check. I could have picked her up.”

  Lily shook her head. “This is her way of telling me she’s still mad. She didn’t like my picture on Instagram, either. She’s always the first like I get.”

  Social media added a whole new level of communication that Faith would never understand. It broke Faith’s heart to see two best friends in a similar situation as her and Addison had been in at the very end.

  They headed outside to the parking lot. Faith needed to get home, make dinner and get to bible study on time.

  “Faith!” someone called out.

  Dean pushed off the car hood he was sitting on and strode toward her like the hero from a romance movie. He had his father’s broad shoulders and long legs. She had always thought of Dean as the perfect alter ego for a superhero.

  “What are you doing here?” She stepped away from Josie and Lily, trying to meet him halfway.

  “Pizza.”

  She stopped short. “You’re picking up a pizza in the school parking lot?”

  His crooked grin made her heart skip a beat. “No, we told Charles we were going to get pizza after the ceremony. You know how people in this town talk—I wouldn’t want it getting back to him that we didn’t go.”