The Valkyrie

by Charlotte Vassell

  “Oh don’t mind me.” Glory said cheerfully to the guard whose eyes glazed over as he nodded and plodded out of the hall. Glory pulled out the vase and placed it next to her on the step. “I think you lost something cousin.”

  “So I did sister.” Athena appeared in the middle of the room clad in her armour. Metis was Britannia’s sister as well as the pair having the same father. Family get togethers were always fraught, particularly when either side had a parent that wasn’t acknowledged.

  “Who were you warning with this?” Glory asked getting up and meeting Athena in the middle of the room with the vase.

  “Liberty ostensibly, but that silly girl Liberty has enough foresight to look after herself. It is of little consolation that the presence of this fine piece of decorative art did not deter her course of action.” Athena took back the vase and admired the craftsmanship.

  “I’m not sure she had much choice in the matter.”

  “Such irony.”

  “What exactly were you trying to warn me about then? There are a few things that I can think of but if you could just clarify that would be marvellous.” Glory said. Athena may have been an outright genius but she wasn’t always the most concise.

  “Apollo.”

  “Again, you’re going to have to spell it out for me I’m afraid.”

  “The vase served a dual purpose. I had hoped that the example of Daphne might set your friend on another path.” Athena said. Glory couldn’t help but think that was a red herring.

  “Yes, that was the obvious reason.” Glory didn’t always get on with Athena they were too similar “And the other one was to what purpose exactly?”

  “To remind you that Apollo’s indiscretions are well documented and difficult to deter. It is his very nature to be an absolute bastard to women. It seemed that you’d got off the hook but it appears he’s reeling you in again. You felt a little ill when you saw the image of your fellow nymph being manipulated in such a vulgar way? I know all about you two and as a sympathetic older sister I should just like to let you know that you’re better than that. Better than all of Olympus’s pettiness. You’re a gifted war goddess. You only need look at what you and Liberty achieved under the guise of Britannia, and yes I know it was you and not your awful mother. I don’t feel like I should have to warn you, as you are tremendously clever and more than capable of sorting yourself out, but I cannot abide these damsel in distress sorts. Apollo is bad. I took a vow of chastity to avoid such complications. Clever women are undone by good looking, selfish men. You can rise above it.”

  “I know I can do far better than Apollo, I just don’t. What is this really about? Why has Apollo got under your skin this time?”

  “He’s just like our father.”

  “Who is, Apollo?” Glory asked. “What are you not telling me?”

  “You will be my greatest ally in the coming months. We’re very similar you and I. Except for a few key differences. You fuck about and I don’t, and so forth.”

  “What’s going on? Why are you manipulating Apollo if you so clearly think he’s dangerous?” Glory asked throwing in “Who’s Bea and why does she scare the shit out of you?” for good measure.

  “He’s less dangerous and more of a general loose cannon. You’ve no idea of when he’s going to fire off next or what he’s going to hit.” Athena remembered her surroundings “By putting some of The Parthenon in here you’ve garnered quite a few column inches for me and for that I thank you. We need all the help we can get for the time being until the mortals believe in us again. Bravo on the Second Korean War by the way, wonderful work. Also I was not that sorry to hear about your mother. I know I need not say this, you’re too smart to talk, but we never met here today.” Athena said and with that she was gone.

  Glory was left frustrated, Athena had left with her more questions and not nearly enough answers. What on earth did she mean by all that? She’d never taken to warning her about anything before, particularly where her box was concerned. Who was just like Zeus? Apollo? This was all too much for Glory. What frustrated Glory most about the situation was that she couldn’t work out whether Athena was being sarcastic about Elgin or not.

  Bridesmaids

  Glory got back to the house to find that their hallway had been invaded by reams and reams of taffeta and silk. Honour was trying to organise the organza delivery and move it into the living room but it was clearly a bit too much for her. Glory crawled over the ocean of fabric and eventually made her way to the kitchen. Liberty was on the phone with a pained expression on her face. She was clearly talking to Hades. Glory went over to the whisky cupboard and poured herself a large stiff one. She then went over to the cupboard aptly named ‘PARTAY’ and riffled around for a few ecstasy tablets before dropping them in and letting them dissolve. Liberty finally got off the phone.

  “Geez that god is an absolute ovary ache.” Liberty threw her phone at the wall.

  “Hades?” Glory asked.

  “Yes, what a chip he has on his shoulder.” Liberty shook her head. “He was convinced he was being swindled out of his portion of the dead from KW2.”

  “It would be so much easier if the whole process was centralised and there was just one afterlife for the bloody mortals.” Glory could have gone further but that would have been tantamount to rebellion in most immortal quarters.

  “That is a far too sensible a suggestion.” Liberty huffed.

  “I take it that the taffeta monster is the real reason for your mood.”

  “My mood.”

  “Yes, you’re pretty pissy.” Glory had observed that when she herself felt like that it tended to rain outside.

  “I can’t go through with it.” Liberty looked like she had the potential to start crying. Glory didn’t know whether Liberty could cry or not.

  “Had any more visions that might shed a light on all this mayhem?” Glory asked to which Liberty just shook her head, it was worrying that Liberty had apparently lost her foresight “Have you spoken to your dad? He’s a pretty good bet on being able to solve this.” Glory liked Prometheus but she couldn’t help feel that he was only ever out for what he could get.

  “I’m going to try and see him tonight. The invitations went out today. I can’t believe I agreed to get married after an engagement that was less than a week.” Liberty said despondently.

  “How drunk were you?” Glory knew full well that it had nothing to do with alcohol and it had been by Eros’s hand, but she wasn’t aware that there was a way to reverse the effect his arrows had and yet Liberty was no longer in love. Liberty wasn’t telling her something and after the loos at Apollo’s gig she could more than easily guess who Glory wasn’t being told the truth about. She felt the niggling sensation of distrust begin to bloom.

  “Horrendously drunk it would seem.” Liberty furrowed her brow “In the meantime I may suggest that you go try on one of those beastly dresses considering that you are my maid of honour.”

  The thought of being maid of honour at Apollo’s wedding shook her. Glory hadn’t allowed the wider implications of the whole business to properly set in yet. “I don’t have to make a speech do I?” Glory asked. “I won’t be sober by that point of the day.”

  “Neither will I.” Liberty got up, left the room, scrabbled over the taffeta beast and went to sit in her room and play scream music.

  Glory finished her whisky and mulled over all the sheer horror of the last few days: Valour’s death, Bea’s arrival, Liberty’s engagement to Apollo, Apollo appearing to have some sort of mad cap plan for who knows what, Athena being a bit more odd than normal and Eros was mixed up in it all somewhere. Oh and what sort of plan could Apollo possibly have for the two of them that kicked off with him marrying her best friend? Could she even trust Apollo anymore? Could she trust anyone, even Liberty? Was she even in love with Apollo still? That would require her going into her room and opening that evil little box to find out, which wasn’t happening any time soon. She thought she must be in love with him still
based on the sex last night, but she enjoyed all the emotionally unattached sex with everyone else too much for that to be indicative. And what about the elephant in the room, what about the Ragnarok? All this end of the world bollocks. Glory had a very bad feeling in her gut. All these strange pieces fitted in together but she couldn’t see it yet. It frustrated her that everyone else was holding their cards to their chest so tightly. This could only mean one thing: a rebellion against Zeus was afoot. It would be seen whether it was just going to be a localised Olympian dispute or whether it would embroil everyone else.

  Glory thought she’d go and rescue Honour before she drowned under all that silk. “Need some help?”

  “Yes please, you’re a life saver.” Honour said panting.

  “What exactly are we looking at here?”

  “Not a clue. I’ve put what appears to be bridal on the sofa by the window. I’m just struggling with what’s supposed to be for the bridesmaids.”

  “Right well let’s put the bridesmaids’ things in that corner. How many bridesmaids is Liberty even having?” Glory picked up a slinky silk number that she liked the look of “Oh look this has my name pinned to the label. Well that solves that. Maybe we should get some mannequins in here so we can see whose is whose or would that look really creepy?”

  “That’s not a bad idea. I’ll tell you what if you sort them out, put them onto mannequins once you’ve got everything together and read out the names, then I’ll write a spread sheet detailing what we received for each girl. I can send the spread sheet back to Olympus to confirm that we’ve received everything. After seeing Hera with those flowers at the engagement party I can’t imagine how bat shit crazy she’d go over the bridal party’s attire being all fucked up.”

  “How very efficient of you, especially considering that you’re very hung over. Who ordered all this?”

  “Hera, naturally. My laptop is in the kitchen, fancy another bevy? I think hard liquor is the only way we’re getting through this. That is unless we get Hercules in to perform another labour.” Honour said leaving the room in pursuit of gin.

  “He’s not talking to me at the moment, otherwise that would have been an awfully good idea.” Glory yelled through the wall.

  Honour returned with her laptop and two large bottles of Hendricks. “I rang Valour earlier, she’s updated her voicemail saying that they’ve gone on holiday to Bermuda.”

  “Lucky Val, I could do with a holiday too.” Glory felt glacially cold.

  “Where’s Bea, we could do with her help?”

  “Not a clue mate.” Glory’s eyes had lost their focus.

  ***

  Liberty was laid like a starfish on her bed. Evanescence was playing on repeat as she stared at the patterns on the ceiling. She got up and pulled out the box under her bed that she’d been storing Apollo’s love letters in and read a few. My goodness were they drivel, absolute nonsense most of them. The weird thing about them was how half-hearted they were, the sentiment was paltry. It was as if he was going through the motions of a seduction. She wouldn’t put it past Apollo to have a template stashed somewhere that he just adjusted each time to accommodate the new girl’s name. She shoved the box under the bed. The tip was all that was left of Eros’s love arrow and it was on her vanity table looking at her. The audacity of the whole thing, the affront to her independence was astonishing. Apollo clearly didn’t know her very well at all if he thought she was going to take marriage lying down. She got up and went to change out of her hangover pyjamas and put on a clean cut white shirt dress and brown leather wedges. She found her handbag and walked downstairs.

  “Are you two still going at it?” Liberty said from the doorway of the living room. A small army of creepy mannequins had appeared from nowhere and were taking over the room. Glory sat on top of the bookshelf yelling out names of girls and pointing at mannequins. “Who are all of these girls you’re calling?”

  “You’re sodding bridesmaids.” Honour said.

  “For fuck’s sake!” Liberty said storming out of the house slamming the door behind her. She stomped down the street and got in her car. It was nicer than Glory’s mostly because it lacked the smell of evaporating ethanol. She checked her phone for the address her father had text her and set off rattling along London’s dreary streets towards St George’s in Bloomsbury.

  ***

  “Another Hawksmoor.” Liberty said as she threw her bag down beside Prometheus and slumped in the pew.

  “You can’t get out of marrying Apollo it’s a fixed point in time now.” Prometheus said looking straight ahead to the altar.

  “What?” Liberty stared at her father trying to get some sort of physical reaction from him “No, there’s no way that’s happening. That isn’t even possible I’m not even subject to fate. I can do what I fucking want to.”

  “Yes, but you were stupid enough to swear on Styx that’d you’d marry him and we are all only as good as our word.” Prometheus clicked his fingers and lit a cigarette with the little flame that resulted. “Apollo’s got you good and proper. He’s using you as a means to an end.”

  “A power play for the throne?” Liberty asked. Her face had turned ashen.

  “Yes, although I have very little insight beyond that at the moment.”

  “Well fuck me. He really is a bit of a bastard. I’ll sit on that info, I don’t want to be the bearer of such a prophecy.”

  “There is another horse in the running. They’re working in tandem with Apollo at the moment but the two factions will come to blows eventually.”

  “What does this mean for us?” Of course Liberty knew who the other horse was.

  “It means we sit tight until after the wedding. I’m sure you will make a charming bride.”

  “There’s going to be a war isn’t there.”

  “Oh yes, and I should think it will be a damned sight more brutal than The Titanomachy. By the way, it would be tremendously unwise of you to mention this to anyone else. Not even Glory. We must look after ourselves. Glory is wrapped up in it all somewhere but I’m not quite sure where. You know she murdered her mother this week right? Not that Britannia will be missed the putrid harridan, but old Zeus won’t be too pleased. Matricide is too close to patricide for his liking.” Prometheus said. He then kissed Liberty on the cheek, turned and left leaving Liberty in a state of utmost shock. She thought she had better get home and start storing even more nuclear grade plutonium in the freezer just in case.

  Stars

  Following on from Liberty’s tantrum Glory and Honour continued sorting all those bloody dresses and didn’t finish it all until 11pm at which point they decided that it would be fun to play a game of pill pong. Pill pong was similar to the mortal game beer pong but with a different pill in each cup. They played only one round that Glory won; her hand to eye coordination was terrifying. Although Glory decided that Honour had actually won on a technicality so she got to neck all the goodies on her side too. Glory then also decided that she would just help herself to a few more pills anyway. She opened the coke draw as she was rifling through the cupboards and saw that they were getting a little low; she’d have to ring their dealer Shady Tim. There was a rumour doing the rounds that he was planning to retire at the tender age of twenty six to The Bahamas on what that house in Hackney consumed alone. Glory didn’t like this much, she didn’t want to get a new dealer because she was rather fond of Shady Tim. Shady Tim asked no questions, he didn’t ask where they got that kind of money which was good as Glory would just have said the truth: that she magicked it out of thin air. Plus he didn’t ask what they did with such huge quantities of premium narcotics. In reality Shady Tim had logically assumed that the terrace house in Hackney inhabited by a troupe of devastatingly stunning supermodels was a front for the Russian mafia so he was too scared to ask any questions at all. He once wanted to know the time but he was too petrified to ask Glory even that.

  “Let’s go and look at the stars.” Honour said.

  “Alright space c
adet.” The pair traipsed out into the back garden. The garden consisted merely of a square patch of overgrown grass and a shed that acted as their armoury. Honour lay down on the grass and beckoned Glory to join her. The evening was temperate and for once the neighbours weren’t having a domestic.

  “I can’t really see any stars. I suppose it must be light pollution” Honour was too high to be massively disappointed.

  “That or the sky’s about to fall and all the stars have started going out.”

  “Is Liberty having a hen do?”

  “Ah shit I knew there was something I’d forgotten to do.” Glory said but as she was flying like a kite she just sat there and giggled like a child “I need to ring Shady Tim.”

  “See if he can get me some crystal meth to try this time.” Honour rolled around in the grass.

  Glory lit a cigarette and stared into the empty sky. “Yeah alright. Have you got any other requests? I think we’re running low on smack. If meth is any good we could get rid of the poppers draw in the kitchen.”

  “Nah I’m good as long as we’ve got enough MDMA for the weekend. Did I tell you about when I took Bea to Valhalla on her first day?”