Fragile Blessings

by Susan M. Baganz

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  December

  The wagon was loaded up the night before for the day-long journey to LaCrosse. Grant arose early and heated bricks to keep little feet warm. Soon, Lily awoke and fed Tobin. With a quick breakfast, the kids were scooped up and settled in the back of the wagon along with Lily. It was a mild December. The winding, hilly roads were passable and the journey, though long, was uneventful. The bluffs they drove past were stark and breathtaking, outlined with snow and the outcroppings of pine trees. Occasionally, the kids spied eagles and hawks out for their daily hunt for food. They watched deer scavenging for food in the fallow fields.

  They arrived before dark. Grant unloaded his wife and children at the front door to a large home on the outskirts of the city. He took the horse and wagon off to the carriage house around back. The Anderson home was different from his humble homestead back in Hillsboro. Grant grinned to himself, grateful that his wife was willing to live a simple, if more difficult, life with him rather than pushing him to take up the family business. If he had never left the safety of his hometown, he’d never have met his sweet bride.

  * * *

  Lily shepherded the children into the foyer of the house. The little ones stood slack-jawed at the tall ceiling and wallpapered walls. The curving staircase rising to one side puzzled them. They clung to her skirts. The butler who granted them entrance had failed to return. Lily nudged the children gently to the fireplace along one wall so they could warm up after such a long journey.

  “Darling Lily.” An elegant matron entered the room, her red hair, streaked with white, pulled back into the perfect chignon. Lily inwardly lamented that she’d never mastered getting her hair to appear so perfect.

  “Mrs. Anderson, we are grateful for your hospitality.”

  “Call me Mother, please. So these are my lovely grandchildren. Let me see.” The elder Mrs. Anderson tapped her finger on her lips and surveyed the children carefully. “You, young lady, must be Colleen. Your hair is beautiful, just like mine when I was a little girl. I’m sure the boys are chasing after you already.”

  Colleen giggled. “I’m only six, ma’am.” She gave a small curtsey.

  “Well done, child. Charming.” She turned to the four-year-old who had his thumb firmly in his mouth. “Now, let me guess, this young gentleman must be Simon. I’m guessing you are quite the man about the house, helping your mother.”

  Simon stopped sucking for a moment and smiled before ducking his face into Lily’s skirt.

  Mrs. Anderson came forward and reached out for the infant in Lily’s arms. “And this must be my newest grandson, Tobin.” Lily handed the baby to her mother-in-law. Mrs. Anderson held the child close, gazed at him, and gave him back to Lily with tears in her eyes. “My dear, I don’t pretend to understand the pain of losing a child, but if anyone ever met you and Grant for the first time with these children, it would be obvious to anyone that they are yours.” She ran a finger gently along Tobin’s cheek, only to find him grabbing it. She smiled at the infant and then back at Lily.

  “I’m sure Grant will be in momentarily. Why don’t we get you to your rooms so you can rest and freshen up? Charles will bring your bags up momentarily, and then in an hour or so, we can meet again in the back family room and be comfortable together. The rest of the family will arrive tomorrow. I wanted some time before they all came so I could spend time with you. Come, follow me.” She headed for the staircase and started to climb, followed by the little family.

  The younger two children were placed in a room together and given a maid to care for their needs. Next door, were Lily and Grant, with a bassinet set up for Tobin.

  “Mrs. Anderson, thank you for having us.”

  “I wanted so much to come to you when Grant wrote with news about the baby.” She motioned Lily to come and sit by the fireplace on some lovely embroidered chairs made with exquisite design. “Harold would hear nothing of it. I prayed for you and longed to be a comfort to you. I’m grateful that you were all able to come to see us. I know the weather this time of year can make travel difficult.” The infant still slept snuggled in her arms. “I cannot believe the red hair. One would almost believe you bore this child. He bears a strong resemblance to Grant as a baby.”

  Lily teared up. “Grant Jr. also had red hair. He was smaller, of course, having come so early, but Mother, he was perfect in every way…soft cheeks, perfect fingers and toes. That soft red hair, maybe slightly darker than Tobin’s and not as thick—but still...”

  “Has it been hard to care for Tobin instead?”

  Lily nodded. “I am beginning to love this little boy, but I feel like I’m betraying my own flesh and blood child.”

  “I think your feelings are normal. We will pray that you will know the joy again of having your own child to hold. But how amazing the timing of this infant coming into your arms so soon after your loss.”

  Lily nodded.

  “Why don’t you lie down for a while and rest? I’ll take Tobin with me until he’s ready to be fed again.” Mrs. Anderson rose and started for the door.

  “Thank you, Mother.” Lily said.

  “I’m delighted you came.” With that, the older woman strode out of the room, closing the door gently behind her.

  Lily decided to do as her mother-in-law bade her, and lay down under a soft comforter and slept.

  * * *

  Grant came in the back door to the house, shrugged off his coat, and hung it up on a peg like he used to do when he was a young man living at home. Home. Yes, this was home, but he much preferred the home he had built with Lily. Love was in both places, and it was the people who made it so.

  He came up the back stairs and found his father in the library, sitting at his desk. “Good afternoon, Father,” he said as he stood in the doorway.

  “Grant.” His father rose and walked across the room and gave his son a bear hug. “We missed you. Your mother and I eagerly anticipated your arrival. She’s visited with Lily, and the kids are being cared for.” He motioned for his son to come into the room and closed the door behind him. “Come, sit by the fire.”

  Grant followed his father across the room to sit down and warm himself. Having driven all day in the winter’s cold, he was chilled to the bone.

  “Shall I call for some tea or would you like some brandy?”

  “I gave up drinking years ago, Father,” Grant reminded him.

  “Hmmm, yes. I’ll ring for tea then.” He pulled the bell and came to sit by his son. “We were heartbroken to hear of Grant Junior’s death. How are you and Lily faring? I haven’t met the children yet, but, well son, I’m just worried about you. We’ve been praying.”

  “Thanks, Father.” Grant clasped his hands together and his head fell forward. “Some days I feel like I am the most blessed man in the world, and then others…when I see the hurt and anguish there in Lily’s eyes, I feel like I’ve failed her somehow. She cares for Tobin, and sometimes I witness the smiles, her trying to love him even though no one could replace our son, and yet she hurts so badly. I want to take it away and I can’t.”

  “What happened was by God’s choice, son. You could do nothing to stop it. But how you can glorify Him when you are in pain like this, is the greater test.”

  “I understand that in my head, but my heart is sometimes much slower to understand.”

  “You will. Give it time.”

  Grant grimaced and nodded. “You are right, Father.”

  They sat in silence for some time.

  “Is Garrett going to be here tomorrow?”

  “Yes. Why?”

  “Some distant clan of the O’Neill’s is trying to gain custody of the children.”

  “I thought the adoption papers were signed?”

  “They were. Garrett helped me, and it went quickly. He said law is on our side, but there isn’t a whole lot of ‘law’ down in our neck of the woods. I never told Lily about the telegrams. But they can’t take Tobin. He needs a mother’s milk. He would d
ie if they tried to transport him to Kansas City. It would kill Lily to lose the children. She doesn’t realize how she has blossomed as a mother to them.”

  “And you wouldn’t miss them?”

  Grant leaned back in the chair, thrusting his legs straight out and crossing them at the ankles as his head fell back. “I would be devastated.”

  “What kind of threat are they making?”

  “They wanted us to send the kids to them. I refused. They said they were coming on the fifteenth to collect the children. I didn’t respond.”

  “Because you planned to be here.”

  Grant nodded. “If I need to go back alone, I will. I cannot put them at risk, but if I have to fight for my family, I will.”

  Harold stared at his son, admiration shining in his eyes. “You are a good man, Grant. God is with you, and will guide you. Your family is welcome here for however long you desire. You realize I would not mind if you decided to move back and help with the family business.”

  “I know. But I’m a man of the land. I’m not one for keeping the books. I did well enough with the little bit I made, but to be honest, Lily deserves better at that. You understand I needed to make my own way.”

  “Yes, Grant, and I admire you for it. We just miss you, being so far away.”

  “I didn’t seek my fortune in Colorado or California. We’re only a day’s drive southeast.”

  “But it’s been two years since we’ve seen you. It was your wedding day.”

  Grant smiled. “I struck gold there, didn’t I?”

  “I think you did.”

  “Speaking of which, I should go check on Lily. She’s been looking tired lately. I’m hoping she can rest a bit while we are here and regain some of that spark she had lost.”

  “We’ll do all we can to help bring that back, Grant.”

  The two men stood, the elder patting his hand on the younger but taller man’s shoulder. “Go to your wife. We’ll see you all at dinner.”

  “Thanks.”

  * * *

  Grant opened the bedroom door quietly. His wife slept under the counterpane, and yet she still wore an expression of worry on her face. He walked over, picked up a chair close by, and moved it close to the bed and sat down. He slowly lifted the stray hairs that always seemed to fall in her face when she slept no matter if she had braided her hair or tied it back. He smiled. He loved pushing that hair off her face. He thought he would still love it when she was much older and the now dark hairs would be white with age. His thumb gently touched between her eyes where the skin seemed wrinkled together in worry. He tried to smooth that away as well.

  Slowly, her eyes opened. She saw him and smiled, yawned, and stretched. More hair fell over her face.

  He grinned.

  “What was that for?” she asked.

  “You. You make me smile. You are so beautiful.”

  “Surely with my wrinkled clothes and messed up hair…”

  He pushed some hair away again, “Makes you more desirable to me than you will ever realize. I never did get that tea my father had requested. I forgot about it in my desire to see how you were doing.”

  “Your mother instructed me to rest.”

  “Well then, we must obey mother’s orders.” Grant stood and took off his suit coat and pulled off his boots.

  Lily propped herself up on one elbow and one eyebrow was raised.

  Grant smiled at her and winked. “I need rest too, don’t I?” He joined her under the covers. “I love you, Lily,” he whispered and held his bride close as they both drifted to asleep.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  The next day, the house was filled with family as Grant’s brothers and sisters descended with their collective broods. Colleen and Simon were quickly absorbed into the ensuing chaos as the children began games of hide and seek around the large home.

  Grant managed to secret himself away with his brother, Garrett.

  “I think you are worried about nothing, Grant.” Garrett sat back in his seat, observing his brother pacing.

  “There is a threat. What would keep them from attempting to take the children by force?” Grant’s voice was soft but tinged with anxiety. “They don’t seem to be daunted by my attempts to fob them off. This is not the big city. This is rural countryside with few witnesses and very little law presence.”

  “So what do you want to do? Legally, we’ve done all we can.”

  “I want to go back and meet them.”

  Garrett sat up straight, eyes bright. “When?”

  “Tomorrow. If I left tomorrow, I could be home a day before they arrive. I have enough ammunition. I could perhaps persuade them to the truth.”

  Garrett laughed. “Well, yes, you with a gun can be persuasive. If you are not careful, you could get yourself killed or hauled away for murder.”

  “It’s not murder if I’m acting in self-defence.”

  “I will go with you.”

  “Now you believe the threat is bigger than paper?” Grant stood in one place, staring at his brother.

  Garrett rose and came to stand in front of Grant. The two brothers were of a similar size and had often been mistaken for twins in their youth. Garrett now presented himself in fine clothing and close cut hair and shave, making Grant appear like a hick in comparison.

  Garrett cleared his throat. “I never doubted you. I only wanted to see how far you wanted to take this. You’ve always been the peacemaker, the one who would avoid a conflict if he could. I assumed your coming home was an attempt to do that. But adopting these kids and caring for them, and now standing up for them…well, I think I admire you more than ever. I would be honored to stand by your side to defend your family.”

  “What will Belinda say?” Grant asked.

  Garrett shrugged. “She’ll kiss me and wish me well on our adventure. I’ve had to take business trips before, and she’s survived just fine. She won’t mind if I’m gone for a few days. How about Lily? You two have never been apart before?”

  Grant frowned. “I hate leaving her, but I want her safe and cared for, and who better to do that than Mother?”

  “Mother is in heaven with a houseful like this.”

  “Lily doesn’t know about the telegrams.”

  “Why?”

  “I didn’t want to worry her. She still grieves our son. She didn’t want to take on the kids, but she gave in to my plea on that. She’s never once complained, and the children adore her. While Tobin is not our biological son and no one could replace the child we lost, I believe she has come to love him. I didn’t want to threaten that fragile peace.”

  “See, I was right.”

  “You were? About what?”

  “You being the peacemaker. Sounds like you may need to disturb a little bit of that temporarily in order to win it absolutely.”

  “How did my younger brother get to be so wise?” Grant smiled and shoved his brother’s shoulder with his own as they headed for the door.

  “I think I learned it from you, big brother.” Garrett shoved Grant back. The two laughed and exited the room.

  “Guess I better go talk with Lily. Will you be ready to leave at eight? I’d like to ride on horseback to make better time.”

  “Eight it is.” Garrett patted his brother on the shoulder as Grant started up the stairs and Garrett wandered down to another room to find his own wife.

  * * *

  Lily was sitting by the fireplace with Jack at her feet. Tobin was nestled in her arms, sound asleep. Grant closed the door softly and crossed to where she sat and placed a kiss on the top of her head.

  “The house is in an uproar now that the family has all arrived. You were wise to seek refuge here.”

  Lily glanced up at her husband, “It was delightful to see everyone again, Grant, but having only met them once before, they still seem like strangers to me. The kids are happy, but I am a little lost, so I came here.”

  Grant frowned. “I’m sorry, Lily. It never dawned on me that my family wouldn’t feel as
comfortable to you as it would to me.”

  “They are wonderful, Grant. Every one of them has been so gracious and treated me as if I’ve been around them for years. But then they start sharing memories and I feel...”

  “Left out?”

  Lily nodded. “I’m glad we came. I will get some rest, and the kids get playmates and there is less time to remember...” Her smile dropped.

  “It’s okay to live your life, Lily. Little Grant is not going to despise you for not thinking of him every moment. If you do, then you are in danger of making him an idol.”

  Lily nodded and rose to put Tobin in the bassinet. “I know, Grant. Thank you for giving me permission to live. Thank you for forcing these children on me, too. Having them to care for has been a good thing. Even Tobin. He’s such a sweet little boy.” She caressed the infant’s cheek lightly, and then with a sigh, turned to go back to her husband. “Did you come here for anything in particular?”

  “You know me too well.” Grant took his wife over to a loveseat and sat her down next to him, keeping his hands over hers as they sat angled towards each other. He explained the telegraphs briefly and his plan to go back home with Garrett for a few days.

  “But the adoption is legal.” Lily’s eyes were wide.

  “True, but they still might try. I’m not sure why they are so persistent, but I want this settled once and for all. I don’t want to wonder when or what they will try next.”

  Lily studied her husband’s face for a few moments. “I always knew you to be an honorable man. I thought so from the day I first saw you jumping into the bull ring to rescue one of your competitors. Everyone else was too afraid of that bull, but you not only saved Jimmy from getting trampled, you managed to help that clown escape as well and almost found yourself gored in the process. Your hat fell off your head, and I saw the glorious hair in the sunlight and it felt like God was saying, “That’s the man you should marry.”