If We Dare to Dream

by Collette Scott

  They returned their attention to the trail when Tabasco stumbled on a loose rock. The trail had grown steeper almost unknowingly, and it was rougher than the manmade trail they had recently turned off of. Jamie fell back to keep an eye on Tabasco’s front leg to make sure he was not injured while Andrew skillfully weaved their way through.

  “When I was in Afghanistan, some of our guys used horses. I think I was probably one of the only ones who knew how to ride, but they were smart and learned quickly.”

  “I didn’t know that,” Jamie said in genuine surprise.

  “We wanted to blend in, and horses were a way to do it.”

  Not knowing how much he would disclose, this having been their first conversation about his months overseas, she remained neutral in the hopes he would talk more. “That’s very interesting.”

  “Picking our way through brush wasn’t uncommon. This reminds me of that.”

  Disappointment surged. He was not going to open up. “I see.”

  “Horses are surefooted.”

  She agreed. How many jumps had she faced where she thought there was no way Duffy would make it over? But he had, and beautifully so. “They know their limits.”

  “Yeah, probably better than we do.” He twisted in his saddle to look at her before pointing to a large rock cairn to the right on the trail ahead. “Do you see that marker? It’s about five minutes past that.”

  “Where does that marker go?”

  “Nowhere that we can take the horses. There’s a cave – you may have seen it from the highway - but we’d have to go on foot. I’ll bring you up there another time.”

  While not exactly the promise of a date, it was something. She smiled at his back. “That sounds like fun.”

  If he sensed her pleasure at his offer, there was no indication. His head remained lowered as he scanned the safest route forward over the rocky terrain, but Tabasco knew exactly where to step and Bruno comfortably followed. She had all but given up again when he shot her a quick glance. “Let’s wait a bit for the weather to cool, okay?”

  Pleased, Jamie grinned. “Not a problem.”

  “Are you hot?”

  “It’s getting warm.” Which was an understatement. The rising sun had begun to scorch where it hit. She could already feel her t-shirt clinging to her back, and her legs felt damp where they rested against the saddle. She was ready to get down and stretch her legs. She imagined Bruno was ready to get her weight off him, too.

  “We’re almost there.”

  Sure enough, the large rock cairn loomed to their right, and Andrew steered Tabasco to the left, down into a wash and up the other side. They went through a thick patch of overgrown mesquite and ironwood trees whose branches threatened to scratch their faces and claw at their knees. The seldom-used trail had grown narrow, and Jamie was reminded that she was placing a lot of trust in a questionable man that she did not know very well. Anything could happen out here in the desert. But she was not afraid. All she could see at the moment was that Andrew was showing her something he enjoyed. In her mind that proved his trust in her even if his words did not, and she was pleased that he had chosen her to show his special place to.

  A spiny bush reached out and scratched her arm, breaking her reverie. She leaned to the side with a muttered curse, drawing Andrew’s attention. “You okay?”

  “I’m fine.” Even in the midst of a foul mood, he still showed concern. She liked that - perhaps too much.

  “It’s a lot thicker than it used to be.”

  She snorted. “I’ll take your word for it.”

  After another few minutes of breaking through the thick brush, Andrew pointed to a small clearing. “We’re here.”

  “And where exactly is here?”

  She followed him through the last of the thicket, her mouth falling open in surprise as she realized what lay ahead. The clearing was on higher ground, with washes running down either side. Trees surrounded it on all sides, though there were various game or foot paths leading away in several directions. In the middle of the clearing lay the foundations of a small stone house. It was completely hidden from view from the trail but strategically placed to see downhill. She gasped in surprise.

  “Whose house was this?”

  Kicking his feet from the stirrups, Andrew lithely dismounted and immediately set about loosening the cinch. She jumped down and did the same to give her peaceful and hardworking mount the same courtesy. Her legs felt stiff and her backside was sore, but being on the ground was welcome. She shook out her legs as she carried her saddle over to a large rock.

  While he settled Tabasco, he told her what he knew. “I’m not sure who the guy was, but there were a lot of men who came out here to look for the Lost Dutchman’s Gold Mine. You’re familiar with that legend, I suppose?”

  She chuckled. “Of course. Who isn’t?”

  “There’s a mine around here. The guy built the house with stones from the wash. This is all that’s left.”

  He indicated to the stone foundation. The tallest part of the house was the fireplace, still standing and still bearing the marks of long ago fires.

  “His trash pile is off over there.” He pointed off to a deep depression surrounded by trees. “I used to pick through it when I was a kid.”

  “Did you find anything useful?”

  “No, just some old rusted cans and a snake or two.”

  She grinned. “So no gold?”

  He shook his head. “The mine isn’t near here; it’s up in the cave. I’m sure he didn’t bring any of the dump back here – too much to carry.”

  “Do you think he found anything in the mine?”

  Shrugging, Andrew tied Tabasco to a tree branch before reaching for her lead and doing the same with Bruno. “These guys came out with dollar signs in their eyes but never found anything substantial. Superstition Mountain is primarily made of dacite left over from the volcanic activity a few million years ago. But every mountain range has to have their legends, right?”

  “I suppose.”

  He cocked his head to the side as if in thought. “There was gold found over in Goldfield, so who knows really?”

  With the horses taken care of, Jamie took the opportunity to wander around the clearing. She inspected the remaining stones of the foundation of the house, as well as the few marks of graffiti that stained the historical value of the fireplace. It was well built even though it had been vandalized, and Jamie was enthralled with the piece of history he was sharing with her.

  She glanced over at Andrew. He was watching her as she ran her hands over the stones. “This is amazing.”

  Her response seemed to please him. “I’m glad you like it.”

  “Like it? I love it,” she said with a broad smile. “I feel as though I’ve discovered a lost world.”

  The corners of his mouth deepened again, and Jamie smiled wider. He was actually smiling at her. Her heart leapt in triumph.

  “It’s not really a secret,” he said indicating to the graffiti. “Plenty of people have come up here, so we’re not the first.”

  “Shush,” she admonished. “Let me think that we are.”

  To her amazement, he chuckled. It was the first time she had heard his laughter since he had been freed. She watched in awe, her heart racing in her chest.

  “Suit yourself.” Still smiling, he reached for the cooler Linda had packed for them. “Hungry?”

  “I am,” she answered.

  “I’ll see what Linda put in here for us.”

  Finding a smooth rock on the north side of the foundation, Jamie sat down while Andrew crouched on the hard packed dirt in front of her. He unzipped the cooler and pulled out some covered Tupperware bowls, plastic utensils and plates, and some picnic napkins. He arranged everything neatly on the ground beside him, carefully balancing the utensils on the lid of the largest bowl.

  Linda had gone all out in her food preparation. There was a fruit salad in one bowl, blueberry muffins in another, and a third had a mixture of co
okies and brownies. He offered her a muffin and napkin and scooped some fruit salad onto a plastic plate. Once she had taken it, he did the same for himself and then settled on the ground beside her, leaning up against the low rock wall of the house with his long legs stretched out in front of him. His feet crossed at the ankles as he steadily munched on his breakfast.

  “There’s a lot of food,” Jamie commented.

  “I think she wanted me to camp out here with you,” Andrew said. He glanced up and followed his cheeky comment with a wink.

  So unused to his humor, Jamie laughed. It was a glimpse of the Andrew she had met that fateful night at the bar. She was reminded of how disappointed she had been that she would never see him again but knew now that for some reason she had been given another chance. This time she would not blow it.

  Hoping to keep his mood light, she widened her eyes innocently and playfully pursed her lips. “Or she was afraid you’d get us lost out here.”

  “Thanks for the vote of confidence,” he said wryly.

  “I’m not too worried,” she continued as if he had not spoken. “I’m sure Tabasco and Bruno can get us back once they get hungry.”

  “So you’d trust an animal over me?”

  She grinned. “Maybe.”

  He shrugged nonchalantly. “We can test that theory if you want. I can pack up and leave you here…”

  “To see if I make it back?”

  “Sure.”

  Still grinning, she shook her head. “I think I’ll pass this time. I enjoy your company far too much.”

  Though she was keeping in the lighthearted vein of the conversation, there must have been something in her voice that drew Andrew’s attention. She watched as his head swung slowly upward, and his pale eyes smoldered with more feeling than she had ever seen from him before. The intensity of his gaze was so strong that her heart gave a lurch against her chest, and she felt herself instinctively lean toward him.

  His reaction was swift and unexpected. Reaching up, he pushed her baseball cap away from her face and cupped the back of her head. The hat hit the ground behind her as he drew her down, and she did not resist as he pulled her closer. Instead, her lips parted slightly just moments before his came up to meet hers. The initial meeting was tentative, almost hesitant, but he quickly increased the pressure as well as the grip on the back of her head, angling her slightly to deepen their contact. Heart racing with excitement, Jamie relaxed into him and followed his lead, opening further to grant him access even when the pressure of his mouth went from exploration to a much greater need.

  Since he was not one to show emotion outwardly, she was taken aback by the power behind his kiss. His lips were assertive and insistent, and his obvious desire for her boosted her confidence. One hand left the safety of her lap to rest on his chest. He was warm, and his shirt was slightly damp from their long ride and the hot day. Underneath her palm, his heart raced as quickly as her own. Her acquiescence seemed to encourage him more, for his free hand reached around her waist and drew her down off the rock wall. His lips never left hers as he settled her onto his lap, and his deep groan of satisfaction escaped between their meeting mouths.

  Andrew felt strong and solid beneath her, and she settled herself astride him with her knees clutching his hips tightly. Wiggling her hips in response to the firm pressure against her inner thigh, she felt his hand slip from her waist down to her hip where he held her tightly in place. There was a lot of strength in that hand, and she pressed against him harder. All the while his lips teased hers, deepening and then withdrawing, only to attack her once more with insistent need. Head spinning with excitement, she let her hands slip under his shirt to caress his smooth skin of his chest, and her belly tightened as warm desire rushed through her loins. Receiving everything she had hoped for and more, she was ready for him, wanted him with a passion that took her breath away, and was exhilarated that he had finally responded to her.

  Though she was being kissed like never before, the growing passion between them seemed to catch Andrew off guard. As if he suddenly realized what he was doing, he abruptly pulled away and lifted her from his lap. As she landed in the dirt, he scrambled to his feet and took several hasty steps away. Turning his back to her, he ran one hand over his face and around his neck before shoving both hands into his pockets.

  His voice was rough. “Jesus.”

  She sat on the ground in dazed confusion, her legs askew. With wide eyes she took in his heaving shoulders, her own breathing as ragged as his. A slow flush stained her cheeks as she realized what he had already concluded. She had been ready to let him go even further, right there on the dirt floor of the shaded house in the mountain.

  While he composed himself, she kept busy by returning the bowls and their used plates to the cooler. Her eyes were averted as she worked, and she remained silent with only the sound of his breathing and the chirps of the birds to break the quiet.

  Finally he regained enough control to face her. “We should go.”

  She nodded in agreement and returned to Bruno. Dozing in the shade under a tree, he was not happy about having his saddle replaced, but when she mounted up and turned to the path his ears pricked forward with excitement. Andrew allowed Jamie to lead on their way back, and she felt his hot gaze on her back, silently brooding the entire time. They did not speak, not even when they dismounted and cooled off the horses. Confusion replaced elation, and that brief glimpse of warm happiness was overshadowed by sadness. Everything had changed so quickly. What had she done?

  By the time Jamie was walking to her car, she was near tears. Not sure of what had happened and not sure how to respond, she collected her cooler and walked back out into the harsh sunlight. Feeling the urge to escape from the ruined day, she marched quickly to her car, but Andrew’s hand briefly touched her shoulder and halted her progress. Turning slightly, she glanced back to see him holding out her favorite black baseball cap. Her cheeks reddened when she realized she had left it on the ground.

  “Oh, thank you.”

  He nodded, refusing to meet her gaze. Though he cleared his throat, his voice was exceptionally deep when he answered. “I’ll see you next week then.”

  Afraid her confusion was plain on her face and would be evident in her voice, she only nodded her head.

  “Okay. Drive safe.”

  Spinning abruptly, he strode away without another word, leaving Jamie to sulk in silence.

  Chapter 12

  He made a huge mistake.

  Or maybe several… He could not decide which.

  All he knew was that her car was driving away, and he did not stop it.

  Instead, he stood in the drive and watched her disappear from sight, feeling frustrated and angry with himself and her for what had transpired. Though it was not her fault, he wished she had pushed him away with a hard slap across his face rather than purring in pleasure and curling into him like a kitten struggling to get warm. Oh yes, he was warm at the moment, uncomfortably so.

  Damn her for wanting him.

  Damn him for letting her leave.

  He was a fool, a fool for taking advantage of a nice moment and doubly a fool for pushing her away. For the first time in a long time, he had held a woman in his arms. Not just any woman either. It was Jamie, the woman who had kept him alive while he was locked away. The woman who had brought back his smile. She was the only one who had believed in him and trusted him during his darkest days, and he could not think of anyone else who would have given him the chance to show off his favorite places. Certainly there was no one else who could keep his anxiety away like she did. When he was with her, he thought of nothing and no one else.

  Now she was gone. He had frightened her off because he was too weak to fight his problems and ashamed of the man that he had become.

  Growing aware of the sweat trickling down his back, Andrew turned away from the now deserted dirt road and strode up to the back door, hoping that his grandmother was nowhere in sight so that he could disappear without
answering any questions. Unfortunately, she was at the table with the cordless phone in front of her. She looked up and smiled as he closed the slider behind him. He had remembered to remove his boots and leave them outside, and her eyes twinkled as she noted his feet.

  “So, how was the ride?”

  “Tabasco did well. He spooked a couple of times but was easily managed.”

  “He’s coming along nicely, Andrew. You’ve done well.”

  Coming from his grandmother, that was extremely high praise. Horses had been her life for as long as he remembered, and there was not another person he knew that could measure up to her skills in working with the magnificent and high strung animals. She was a natural.

  “Thanks.”

  “It’s too bad you want to get rid of him, Andrew. He’s a good horse.”

  “I can use the money.”

  “That’s nonsense. You have a job now, and your lawyer is working on your compensation case.”

  “But you took out a huge mortgage to help me. I won’t rest until it’s gone.”

  “I’ll take it out of your inheritance,” she responded lightly.

  He frowned. “No… I’ll take him out a few more times to work out the bugs, maybe take him out on the road before I put him up for sale.”

  “Good idea.” She pointedly looked beyond him to the empty drive. “Where’s Jamie?”

  He could feel the angry flush rise on his cheeks. “She had to get home.”

  Grandma’s brows rose as she shrewdly took in his frustration. “You didn’t have a falling out, I hope?”

  He had no idea what to call what had happened between them, but a falling out was not exactly right. He shook his head. “No, not at all.”

  “Oh good. I like her. She’s a good girl… and she’s good for you.”

  Andrew shifted uncomfortably, not liking the direction their conversation was taking. Remembering the cooler on his shoulder, he slipped it off and turned his back on Grandma. He busied himself by unpacking it and putting the leftovers in the fridge.

  “Don’t you agree?”

  He glanced down at the plastic plates and utensils Jamie had thoughtfully wrapped in their discarded napkins to keep from spilling and making a mess in the base of the cooler. It reminded him again of how good she had felt in his arms.