If We Dare to Dream

by Collette Scott

  “Adam,” Andrew warned.

  “No, this is my exact point,” he said hastily. Returning his attention to Jamie, he continued speaking. “So my brother spent nights completing raids to knock out bad guys and while building roads and schools during the day for civilians. Their payback was a planned ambush for his unit that nearly took his head off, and he’s still got the shrapnel in his neck and a huge scar on his face.”

  Jamie stared at Andrew while Adam continued. Though she could tell Andrew was not happy, she could not deny that her curiosity was aroused. The hush at the table advised her Linda and Grandma’s were, too.

  “He’s almost blind in his left eye because someone panicked during the attack. Some thanks, right?” He glanced at Andrew. “Hey Andrew, how many of your buddies died in that blast?”

  Andrew’s silverware clattered to the table loudly, but he avoided her gaze and addressed his angry brother. “Everyone makes mistakes and everyone has their scars, Adam. Mine just happens to be more noticeable than others.”

  Jamie clenched her hands in her lap to stifle the urge to run her fingers along his scar. In her opinion, it defined him and made him stand out from others, but apparently to him it was a reminder of a failure.

  He was not a failure in her eyes.

  “It was a mistake that cost you a career,” Adam sneered. “You’re just a civilian now.”

  Andrew noticeably stiffened, and his voice was cold. “A civilian with a job.”

  “Not as good of a job as you deserve, though.”

  “Maybe if you’d been there when everything went down I’d be doing better now. You were there that night, too.”

  Another hush fell in the room, and Jamie shifted in her seat. The tension was rising in the room and emanating from Andrew. She could see his grip on his eating utensils had grown so tight that his knuckles were white, but she had no idea what to say or do to help the situation. This tension had been going on for some time between the two men, long before she had arrived.

  Adam’s mouth tightened, but he held his tongue.

  “A career is a lot better than a life. Brad paid for his mistake in the worst possible way.”

  “Thousands have,” Adam snapped. “For what? Nothing. What have we really accomplished?”

  Thankfully, Arlene’s firm voice cut in. Just in time, Jamie thought nervously. “Enough of this depressing talk. You boys are home now, and I’d like to enjoy your good news instead of hashing up the terrible things you’ve seen.”

  Linda smiled at Adam. “I’m so glad you’re here, Adam. You haven’t been home, and we’ve missed you.”

  “It’s been too quiet,” Arlene said.

  Sighing, Adam turned his attention away from Andrew and relaxed. Jamie noticed that Andrew did not. “I have time banked now. They made it possible for us to carry over any extra time, which is really cool for most of the guys. It’s supposed to expire, but I’m hoping his new policy will be extended. Most of the guys I know have kids, and they want to spend time with them.”

  “Which reminds me,” Linda said. “How is that girl of yours… what was her name?”

  Adam glanced down at his plate. “Gracia and I split up last spring.”

  Her face crumbled. “I’m sorry. I was wondering why you didn’t bring her out to meet us.”

  He jabbed violently at his dinner roll with the knife he had been toying with the entire meal. “I would’ve if she hadn’t run off.”

  “I had hoped you’d have babies by now…” Linda’s voice trailed off wistfully.

  Her point was made, though. The two ladies were not getting any younger. The brothers exchanged a glance as if accusing one another for not having a family. Adam’s attention turned to Jamie, who quickly glanced down under the guise of folding her silverware across her plate while Andrew hastily reached for his glass of water and took a large sip. His hasty gulp caused him to choke uncomfortably, and he held his napkin to his lips as he coughed.

  The remainder of the dinner encouraged less intense conversation, focusing on Adam’s plan for his thirty day block leave. Andrew and Adam attempted to work out a plan for sharing Andrew’s truck, but Andrew now used his truck to get to his work sites, so it fell to Arlene to offer her vehicle. Jamie almost piped in and offered her car, but her fear of this on-edge brother of Andrew’s caused her to hold her tongue. This time she was going to trust her instincts.

  While they discussed logistics, Jamie and Linda began clearing the table of their dishes. She smiled at Arlene as she scooped up her plate and silverware. “Thank you again for having me. It was one of the best meals I’ve had in a very long time.”

  Arlene smiled. “I hope we’ll have plenty more with you.”

  Jamie nodded and backed away from the table. “We’ll see.”

  No sooner had Jamie and Linda begun rinsing the dishes and stacking them in the dishwasher than raised voices once again reached her ears. She glanced at Linda, but the older woman merely laughed nervously and continued rinsing.

  “Is it always like this?”

  “When they’re speaking, yes. They’re brothers.”

  Jamie thought of her brothers and the relationships they shared. While sometimes Grady ended up bearing the brunt of her other brother’s mockery, they all remained cordial. There was something different about Adam. There was a lot of rage radiating from him.

  “They’ve never gotten along?”

  “When they were children, they got along very well. Andrew’s older by six years, and he always took really good care of Adam growing up. But Adam was pretty upset when Andrew joined the military. He felt as though he’d been abandoned by his brother the way his parents left him. As soon as he could, he enlisted as well, but he ended up in Iraq while Andrew was in prison and couldn’t follow in his brother’s footsteps. It was hard on both of them… Adam’s been through a lot, Jamie. He’s not completely recovered.”

  “Recovered?”

  “From the war. He came home the first time and told us about all the dead people he saw. He drank to ease the pain, but that didn’t help much. It stayed with him… Andrew too. Both boys had a hard time. But now Andrew seems to be doing better. He doesn’t have the nightmares he used to have.”

  Jamie frowned in concern. Andrew had just mentioned that to her outside. “Is he jumpy like Adam?”

  “Sometimes. He took to standing outside in the storms to deal with the thunder and lightning. It must have helped a little bit because he’s calmed quite a bit.” She winked at Jamie. “I think that you’ve kept him so busy he doesn’t have time for night terrors anymore. It’s awful quiet in his room nowadays.”

  “Do you think that Adam will get better?’’

  “I hope so, but his drinking and his temper are something fierce.”

  Jamie glanced back to the doorway where the muffled voices seemed to grow in volume. She was fairly certain that there were more dishes to be cleared from the table, but she was reluctant to go back in the room. The last of the dishes were stacked in the dishwasher, and Linda shut the sink tap off. Suddenly the raised voices were clear, and she froze when she realized that she was the subject of their conversation.

  “…So she got you out because you’re screwing her? Where did you find her? One of those prison pen pal lists?” The taunt came from Adam, and his voice carried a suggestive tone that made her distinctly uncomfortable. He followed up with a laugh. “I don’t really blame you, bro. She’s a nice piece of ass.”

  She could not hear the low words that followed, but Adam’s response was palpable and cut her to the bone. “How can you hold her in such high regard when she let you rot in prison? You kiss her ass when she did nothing to stop what happened. If I were you, I’d kick her back to whatever rabbit hole she came out of before she screws you over again.”

  She heard a scuffle next. What appeared to be silverware clattering onto a plate and a chair shoved back was explained just a few seconds later. Arlene’s strong voice echoed clearly into the kitchen.
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br />   “Adam, I will not have that language at my dinner table, and I will not have you insult our guest... Andrew, let your brother go.”

  Silence reigned. Then there was the sound of more clattering plates. “I said let him go!”

  Jamie backed away as quietly as she could and returned to Linda’s side. Wavering between sneaking out of the house without saying a word or coming up with a quick excuse, she finally turned to Linda. “I think I may finish up in here and get home. I have a bit of a drive.”

  Linda smiled, but her eyes bore a look of sorrow that matched the feeling deep in Jamie’s stomach. “It does get a little loud, doesn’t it?”

  “I feel as though I’m intruding,” Jamie admitted.

  Reaching out, Linda patted her hand. “You’re not intruding. It’s just that Adam’s a little hard to handle sometimes.”

  “I understand completely,” Jamie said. “At the same time, you certainly don’t need to entertain me when he has so much going on right now.”

  “Oh, he’s always been like that. It’s just been a bit more pronounced since he went away. Please don’t let it affect your relationship with Andrew. He thinks so highly of you.”

  “Of course not,” she stuttered. However, honestly she was not sure just then. Arlene and Linda seemed to have their hands full, and while she wanted to know more about this family she was associating with, now was definitely not the time to ask.

  Silence had fallen in the dining room, a tentative silence. Jamie knew it would just be a matter of time before someone came out to check on her and Linda. She gathered up her bag and keys.

  Linda smiled in understanding. “I’ll let them know you said goodbye.”

  Jamie reached over and hugged the older woman. “Thank you for a marvelous dinner. I’m going home with a very full belly.”

  “It was my pleasure,” Linda replied, beaming.

  Slipping out the slider, Jamie made a quiet exit back to her car. Though she felt a twinge of guilt, interrupting a family argument did not seem appropriate either. By the time she pulled in her garage, she felt somewhat justified in leaving quietly. She was still stung that Adam would accuse her of something so terrible, but she tried to put it out of her mind. It should not matter what other people thought of her, but in a way it did. As she stripped out of her work clothes and turned on her shower, she wondered if Kit’s family thought the same. The idea was not only shocking but sad as well. The killer of their loved one was still out there, and it was not the gentle and honorable man she had come to care for. But at least the police had realized that and reopened the case to find him. She hoped they did soon.

  The shower felt heavenly after the stressful evening, and she relaxed under the stream for a while before going about her normal nightly routine. The doorbell rang just as she finished leisurely towel-drying her hair. Frowning, she lowered the towel and cocked her head to listen, wondering who would be ringing her bell at that time of night.

  It was not her imagination. Sure enough, the bell rang again, this time twice in a row. Setting aside her towel, Jamie tightened the knot of her bathrobe and padded to the front door. She was glad that she had left the outside light on, for when she peeked through the peephole the light illuminated George staring anxiously at the closed and locked screen door.

  With a resigned sigh, she unlocked the door and pulled it open to greet the man she had gently let down a month ago. “What’s wrong, George? Is everything okay?”

  He appeared out of breath and frazzled, something that was out of the ordinary for him. “I’m in a bit of a bind. I have to make brownies for Maggie’s class tomorrow, and I’ve run out of eggs. Do you have any that I can take?”

  Despite her stressful evening, Jamie laughed. “Yes, of course. Come on in.”

  “I’ve only got a minute. I have Maggie and Paul stirring over there by themselves, and it’s past their bedtime already.”

  Jamie was aware of her lack of dress and George’s appreciative gaze as she led him to the kitchen. She wished she had put on something more conservative than her thigh-high red robe, but it was too late now and he seemed in too much of a rush for her to worry about it.

  Opening the refrigerator door, she reached inside and pulled free her egg carton. “Would you like to take the whole thing?”

  “No, no. I can just carry a few back.”

  “How many batches are you making?”

  “There are thirty kids in the class, so I was making two boxes. You think that’s enough?”

  “I’m sure it’s fine,” she said, biting back her grin. “So four or six?”

  “I’ll take whatever I can carry.”

  “Are you sure you don’t want to just take them all? It’s not a bother, really.”

  “Nope, I can do it.”

  Jamie frowned skeptically, but George held open his hands. He had large palms and long fingers, so when she placed the eggs within his palm his fingers closed over them securely. She placed six in his two hands before returning the remainder to the fridge.

  “Thanks, Jamie.” He smiled crookedly at her. He was still slightly out of breath, but his eyes were warm. “So how are you doing?”

  Gritting her teeth, Jamie opted for a quick response. No sense in giving him false hope. “I’m okay. How about you?”

  “I’ve been wondering about you. We haven’t seen much of each other in a while.”

  Her thoughts immediately turned to Andrew, and she smiled wistfully. “It’s been pretty busy.”

  “It’s okay. Look, I’d better get back. The kids are alone.” Nodding his head, he backed away from her without turning. Unfortunately, he bumped into the counter and stumbled.

  “Oh no! George, wait!”

  It was too late. Knocked off balance, his hands closed reflexively. She heard eggs crack and called out in alarm. It must have been her startled cry drifting out the open front door, for the next thing she knew her screen door was being slammed open with a loud crash. When they turned in surprise, like a ghost Andrew appeared and threw himself at George. The remaining eggs went flying as George was slammed roughly against the counter, Andrew’s hands pinning him in a tight grip and his face again white with rage.

  Too stunned to move, Jamie just blinked. What the hell?

  Chapter 14

  The startled cry was all Andrew heard.

  A surge of protectiveness like nothing he had ever experienced before raced through him and forced him to act. Not even during his time overseas did he feel the rush of emotion with such urgency. He reacted before he knew what he was doing, furiously charging the stocky man standing far too close to Jamie. As he pinned the intruder up against the counter, he noticed Jamie’s state of undress and wet hair and wondered who the man was that was causing her to call out in distress and what the hell he was doing in her house at this hour. He was livid and his grip was unforgivingly tight on the frightened man before him. The urge to kill was strong, and his fingers tightened until the man’s mouth worked like a fish out of water.

  This new stranger struggled briefly as Jamie reached for his arm, her voice filled with shock and dismay. “Andrew! What on earth are you doing? Let him go.”

  Still not ready to release his grip, Andrew watched the man’s eyes flash with fear. He had plenty of experience in restraining others, and this man’s weak struggles barely fazed him. Ignoring the man’s panicky stare, Andrew turned to Jamie. “Are you okay?”

  “Of course I am. Let George go, please.”

  Though he was reluctant to, he slowly released his grasp. Breathing heavy and blood pumping rapidly through his veins, he met George’s stare with fury emanating from his eyes.

  “You know him?” George asked in a strangled voice.

  Jamie continued to hold Andrew’s arm, and he was surprised that she had no fear of his anger at all. “Andrew, this is my neighbor, George.”

  “I heard you scream,” he said. His accusing glare caused the intruder to glance at his hands. They were coated with the remnants
of raw egg.

  George exhaled heavily. “Eggs.”

  Jamie turned to George. Her voice was clear, but her eyes were wide with horror. “I’m sorry, George. Here.” She returned to the fridge and pulled out the carton. “Take them all. Get back to the kids. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  Andrew could tell that George not pleased, but he nodded his head anyway. Before he turned to go he stared at Andrew again, whose fists were clenched tightly to keep from snapping the other man’s neck. Jealousy was a new emotion for him, and he was surprised at the intensity with which it hit.

  “The mess?”

  “I got it. I’ll clean it,” she replied hastily.

  George was not convinced. “Are you okay?”

  Conjuring a brilliant smile, she nodded her head and led him out of the kitchen and back toward the open screen door. “Of course. This is all just a misunderstanding. Really – now go.”

  Andrew glanced down at the floor and saw the cracked eggs. Shells and sticky yolk formed a mess on the pristine tile floor. In Jamie’s absence, Andrew reached for the paper towels on the counter and began scooping it up. It was only a matter of moments before he had cleaned the majority, so he opened her lower cabinets to see if he could finish the job. He found some cleaning supplies under her sink and was wiping the last of the mess when he heard first the screen then the front door close and lock. In another moment, Jamie returned to the kitchen, a fierce frown on her face and her hands balled into fists on her hips. He had never seen her other than happy, but when he glanced up and caught her angry scowl he realized that he had set her off good.

  Giving one last wipe to the now clean floor, he regained his feet slowly. Despite his best intentions, his gaze rose even slower to meet hers, starting with her shapely legs exposed up to mid-thigh then on up to the deep V that revealed the creamy white skin of her neck and chest. His mouth went dry at the sight of the curve of her cleavage, and he was immediately reminded of that day he saw her emerge from the pool like some sort of goddess. The sight of her in that fuscia bikini had haunted him for many nights, and though his dreams had her staring up at him with desire at this moment she was staring up at him with unconcealed fury. However, he was able to tell that the high color on her cheeks indicated that his appreciative stare had not gone completely unnoticed.